When Lu Wancheng died of illness, Lin Qingyu didnât cry; when Jiang Xing came back, he didnât cry; when he said goodbye to Gu Fuzhou, he still didnât cry. Now reunited after a long absence, with Jiang Xingâs soul in this dream, he cried.
Everything in the dream was so real, so real that Jiang Xing could still feel the beating heart in his chest. The empty and lonely palace, the scrolls on the table, the lingering fragrance of ink, and the flickering lamp lights. Lin Qingyuâs tears fell drop by drop, as if hitting his heart.
He had seen Lin Qingyu holding back tears with eyes rimmed red, but he has never seen him like this â not frowning, not sobbing, simply looking at him and crying silently.
Jiang Xingâs body was permeated with a deep ache. It was worse than dying of illness, worse than being wracked with poison, even worse than having a thousand arrows pierce his heart.
It hurt so much that he wanted to cry.
But he canât. If he cried too, who would coax Lin Qingyu. He couldnât cry in front of Lin Qingyu. That would be most uncool.
Jiang Xing smiled while holding back his tears. âWhatâs the matter, Baobei? Weâve finally seen each other, why are you crying? Do you not like my original appearance?â
Lin Qingyu looked at him silently. After a long time, he shook his head, his face cupped in Jiang Xingâs palms.
Wiping away Lin Qingyuâs tears with his smooth and slender fingertips, Jiang Xing said, âIâm very happy that I get to see you in my original form. I hope you can cheer up a bit too.â
For their last meeting, he didnât want to make Lin Qingyu sad.
Lin Qingyu seemed to understand his intentions. Also seeming to try to convince himself, he said, sounding dazed, âYou came back because I missed you?â
âThatâs right. Donât they say that what you think of in the morning, you dream of at night?â Jiang Xing said softly, âSince you miss me, naturally, youâll dream about me.â
⊠But why is it not Gu Fuzhou who came, but you?
He had tried so hard to recall Jiang Xingâs appearance but he couldnât remember at all The young man in front of him is so vivid â his figure was reflected in his pupils, the palm holding his cheek was warm; every detail was perfect and just right.
Lin Qingyu held back from asking that question. Seemingly as if so long as he didnât ask or think about it, this was just an ordinary dream.
Lin Qingyu raised his hand and tremblingly touched the young manâs forehead. The young man took his hand and put it on his lips to kiss it.
Lin Qingyu said softly, âIt seems you havenât changed at all since three years ago.â
He had finally managed to coax Lin Qingyu back into a good mood. Or in other words, Lin Qingyu had managed to coax himself.
Jiang Xingâs throat moved slightly. âIn dreams, people never grow up.â He smiled again, âWhy? You used to complain I was too old. Now, you think Iâm too young? Donât forget, Iâm only a year younger than you.â
Lin Qingyu smiled. The smile was broken but still bright and touching. âSure enough, you really like your original form the most.â
âOf course. Lu Wancheng was too delicate and Gu Fuzhou is too strong and muscly. Neither of them are suitable for me.â
âIâll remember.â Lin Qingyu locked his eyes firmly on him. âIâll remember your initial appearance.â
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âBut last time, last time I forgot.â Lin Qingyu pressed his cheek against the young manâs chest, desperately restraining his turbulent emotions. Jiang Xing hoped he could cheer up a bit, that he wouldnât cry anymore.
Jiang Xing had no choice but to lie to him. âThatâs because I didnât stay long enough last time. This time Iâll stay for a long while.â
Lin Qingyu grabbed Jiang Xingâs shirt, the fabric felt softer than any he had ever felt before. The young manâs breath was clean and refreshing and it completely enveloped him.
No matter whose body Jiang Xing used, he wouldnât care. So long as it was Jiang Xing inside, he was sure his interest would be aroused and he would grow to like him. But he also couldnât deny that in this world, only Jiang Xingâs own appearance could take his breath away with a single glance.
Young Master Jiang returned back to his own body was the complete Jiang Xing.
Lin Qingyu asked, âA long while⊠How long is that?â
Jiang Xing went silent for a while before saying, âWe still have at least one more night. Enough to make up for that date we didnât finish last time.â
That date last time�
Lin Qingyu felt a twinge of pain in his heart. âAn entire day, twenty-four hours. One hour less and that doesnât count as a day.â
Jiang Xing smiled and said, âSo you still remember.â
He remembered. Of course he remembered. On that day, he hadnât completed his date with Jiang Xing. He thought there would be many more opportunities in the future. He thought they still had a lot of timeâŠHe really had thought so.
âWeâll wait until you come back,â Lin Qingyu insisted on deceiving himself. âWhen you come back from the Northwest, I wonât care about anything else. Iâll lock you up and constantly keep you under my watch. I wonât let you go anywhere. Every hour or every day, you can only spend with me.â
Jiang Xing turned his head and closed his eyes. When looked once again at Lin Qingyu, he smiled. âAlright. But Baobei, letâs think about this first. What would you like to do tonight?â
Lin Qingyu buried his face against his chest and did not respond.
Jiang Xing stopped asking. To be able to embrace each other quietly for this entire night was nice as well.
After an unknown amount of time, Lin Qingyu pushed him away. He pointed to a spot on his clothes and asked, âWhat is this?â
âHmmâŠ?â Jiang Xing looked down at his chest, âThis is the school badge. Iâm wearing a school uniform.â
âThis school uniform, how do you take it off?â
Jiang Xing was taken aback. âQingyuâŠ?â
Lin Qingyu said firmly, âI want to, to invite you again.â
Jiang Xingâs heart trembled so much that he couldnât speak.
âDonât reject me again.â Lin Qingyuâs voice trembled slightly, âJiang Xing.â
The next moment, Lin Qingyuâs vision flickered. The thinly dressed boy carried him off his feet and headed towards the bed with long strides.
When Lin Qingyu was laid down on the bed, he remembered that there wasnât any bed in Qinzheng Hall. Jiang Xing explained, âThis is a dream, baby. You can have whatever you want in your dream.â
Lin Qingyu couldnât care less about this. He moved in closer and kissed the corner of Jiang Xingâs mouth.
This kiss seemed to turn on some certain switch in the young manâs body. He sank deep into the bed, their lips pressed against each otherâs, their tongues intertwined. His hairpin was pulled away, letting his long hair spread across the pillow.
If Jiang Xing were still Gu Fuzhou, their long strands of black hair would be entangled at this time. But Jiang Xing right now had short hair. When he bowed his head to kiss him, his bangs slightly obscured his eyes.
Jiang Xingâs tongue was not in any way small.
Lin Qingyu was wearing his official uniform, layer after layer of heavy cloth. He raised his hand and caressed the young manâs short hair, his long sleeves slipping off and revealing two slender alabaster arms.
In a dream, he wouldnât feel cold.
His uniform was taken off but Lin Qingyu could do nothing about Jiang Xingâs clothes. Jiang Xing taught him how to take it off bit by bit. Finally, he asked him, âIsnât it very convenient? Much more convenient than the Dayuâs clothes.â
Lin Qingyu nodded slightly and asked, âYouâŠwill you?â
Jiang Xing smiled. âGuess.â
With a dream, the dim light of night, candles casting shadows bright, gray, rosy.
A hand clutched helplessly at the gauzy curtain hanging around the bed. Suddenly, the hand exerted great force as though unable to hold on. Knuckles turned white and the gauze curtain was torn off. The jade beads scattered across the floor, the pattering sound echoing in the empty hall.
Lin Qingyu closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He couldnât stop the tears from falling from his eyes.
Maybe it was because of the pain or maybe it was something else.
âDonât cry, Baobei.â Jiang Xing said, voice low. âIf you keep crying, youâll make me doubt my skills and then Iâll wither.â
âLiar. Itâs obviously⊠obviously so energetic.â
Jiang Xing smiled, âI canât hide anything from you.â
Lin Qingyu wanted to open his eyes, but a hand suddenly blocked his sight. âDonât look at me,â Jiang Xing said, sounding breathy, âIâll be embarrassed.â
Lin Qingyu was almost out of breath. He tried his best to curve his lips and said, âI can feel you in my body.â
Jiang Xing choked for breath and didnât speak any more. He just grabbed Lin Qingyuâs hands and let them wrap around his shoulders.
In the dream, their bodies knew not that they were guests and every cry coveted joy.
And after this endless tenderness, all that is left will be the collapse of the dream. What else could be left to remain?
After calming down, Jiang Xing lay on his shoulder and the first thing he said was, âIâm sorry.â
Lin Qingyu felt the wetness on his shoulders. After such happiness, a hint of confusion appeared in his eyes.
Was Jiang Xing⊠crying?
This man wouldnât let him cry but he was crying himself.
âQingyu, Iâm sorry.â Jiang Xing hugged him, like a child who did his best but still couldnât do anything well. He felt so wronged that he didnât know what to do. âIâm sorryâŠâ
Lin Qingyu asked him, âWhy are you crying?â
Why are you cry so desperately after weâve done this most intimate thing?
He wanted to push the young man to create distance between them to let him see how the young man was crying. But he was too tired, he couldnât move. He could only feel the young manâs tears flowing out unceasingly, wetting his long hair.
After Jiang Xing had cried enough, he got up from him. Apart from the reddened eyes, there was nothing unusual about his expression. He asked Lin Qingyu worriedly, âAm I still handsome?â
Lin Qingyu smiled. âYes.â
Jiang Xing smiled and hugged him from behind. âDo you want to sleep for a while?â
Lin Qingyu said immediately, âNo.â
Jiang Xing was by his side, whispering sweet words of love softly in his ear. Until a ray of light appeared in the sky and Jiang Xing looked out the window. âIt seems that time is almost up.â
Lin Qingyuâs body suddeny froze.
Jiang Xing sighed softly, âThis night passed so quickly.â
Lin Qingyu realized something and he once again tried to deliberately ignore reality, torturing himself cruelly. âDonât.â He hugged the boy tightly and expending every last bit of his strength, âJiang Xing, donâtâŠdonât leave me aloneâŠâ
Jiang Xing stroked his hair. âQingyu, this is just a dream.â
âNo⊠no.â Lin Qingyuâs eyes were opened wide, starting to fill with unshed tears. His quiet mask was torn off, revealing an uncontrollable madness, âYouâre lying to me again. Jiang Xing, how many more times are you going to lie to me?â
The young manâs silhouette gradually begun to blur. âThis is the last time, Qingyu.â
The lastâŠâŠ? Is this the end? No, he wants to stay here, stay here with Jiang Xing.
Jiang Xing promised him.
He promised him!
âŠJiang Xing!
Lin Qingyu woke up from the dream. It was dawn and there was no one else in Qinzheng Hall except him.
He sat alone in front of the desk, piles of scrolls on its surface. The candle beside him had already been burned out.
Lin Qingyu sat quietly with a blank look on his face. He remembered every word Jiang Xing said, every movement Jiang Xing made. But he couldnât remember Jiang Xingâs face.
Lin Qingyu slowly closed his eyes, a tear falling on the last letter sent from the Northwest.
At the same moment, in Xingqing Palace not far from Qinzheng Hall, Xiao Li who was sleeping soundly suddenly opened his eyes without any warning.