Yue Zhishi was doubtful of his answer, but he currently didnât have enough air and was too busy to ponder over it. He just continued hugging Song Yuâs waist, resting on his body for a while. He waited until he felt better, and then he raised his face, very docilely pecking Song Yuâs lips and whispering I really missed you multiple times.
They were in an enclosed environment, and the bathroom smelled very strongly of an aromatherapy product. Worried it would irritate Yue Zhishiâs breathing, Song Yu didnât want him to stay here for too long. He kissed Yue Zhishiâs forehead, took off his windbreaker for him to wear and took him away.
The cold wind rushed straight at them once they went back onto the street. Yue Zhishi followed Song Yu into his car, wrapped in his windbreaker, and heâd just sat down when he straightforwardly asked, âAre you going back to the dorm? Or the apartment?â
Song Yu fastened his seatbelt. âThe apartment. My dorm mates are still in Beijing.â
Yue Zhishi twisted over when he heard this and placed his hand on Song Yuâs arm. âThen can I go too? I want to go.â
Song Yu didnât immediately respond. He turned on the car, and then looked towards Yue Zhishi after a few moments. âYou really arenât afraid of me at all.â
That question came out as certainly as a declarative sentence, as though Yue Zhishi should actually guard against him a bit. After all, he had lost control just then â he hadnât cared about what time it was or where they were, let alone his own obsession with cleanliness.
âWhy would I be afraid of you?â Yue Zhishi was slightly confused, adding a few seconds later, âOh, but I am a little bit. I was really afraid of you getting angry when I was younger. Even though you wouldnât lose your temper at me, you wouldnât speak at all. I donât like it when you brood.â
They were completely not on the same page at all. Song Yu gave up. He saw Yue Zhishi still clutching that sketchbook, and he was reminded of that paper bag he had been prepared to give him when they first saw each other; the entire matter had been tossed to the back of his mind because of that unplanned kiss. He pulled it over and handed it to Yue Zhishi.
âYou can put that in here.â
âIs there anything else inside?â Yue Zhishi saw it earlier and had been curious about why it was so large, thinking it was to only carry the milk tea. Glancing inside, he realised in astonishment that it held a new sketchbook with a dusty blue leather cover, and a block of cheese was also etched onto it.
âYou managed to get it?â Yue Zhishi was very happily surprised. âThatâs fantastic, I really like this sketchbook.â He stroked the small cheese design on the cover and curiously asked Song Yu, âIs this the brandâs logo?â
Song Yu vaguely said, âSomething like that.â
âItâs so cute,â Yue Zhishi said from the bottom of his heart. He even hugged the new sketchbook together with the old one.
âHow is it cuteâŠ..â Song Yuâs voice sounded uneasy.
Giving up on trying to understand Song Yuâs tastes, Yue Zhishi switched to ask about his Beijing conference. He only then learned that Song Yu had given up on the group activities on the final day â the academic conference had ended that morning, and heâd bought the final flight back.
âYou shouldâve gone to the Great Wall with them.â Yue Zhishi felt sorry for him.
âItâs too boring. I didnât want to go.â
The sky darkened very rapidly, and by the time they arrived at the apartment, the sky had turned into full night. As Song Yu parked the car, Yue Zhishi suddenly realised: the car didnât smell of a scent diffuser. It held only the fragrance from Song Yuâs body, as well as the very faint scent of leather that drifted up from the seats.
Song Yu asked him about the arts festival when they were in the elevator. âHowâs your preparation going?â
âCan I say not well?â Yue Zhishi leaned against the elevator wall, looking at him. âI really donât know what Iâm doing.â
Song Yu didnât blindly encourage him like other people; instead, he very seriously asked why he felt that way.
âIâm not professional at all.â The elevator arrived at their floor. Yue Zhishi shifted the backpack on his body and followed behind Song Yu. âI read through a lot of books lately, and I only just realised how hard it is to design clothes. Thereâs so much professional knowledge I donât have, and so far, I still donât know how to differentiate between different kinds of fabrics.â
He sighed. âAnd I donât have any inspiration right now. The theme for the preliminary round is âlakeâ. I thought it was a really simple theme at first â since we see lakes so often â but I wasnât satisfied with any of my designs after sketching out a lot. Plus the preliminary roundâs tomorrow.â
âYou still have some time.â Song Yu sounded like he was the organiser of the competition. âThe preliminary round wonât be that strict. As long as you give them completed design drafts and ideas, thereâs no reason for them not to pass you.â
âReally? Then what should I do in the later stages? Iâll need to personally make the clothesâŠâ
Song Yu swiped the keycard, pushing open the door, and took Yue Zhishiâs bag to place it down in the entrance hall. He then put his hand on the top of Yue Zhishiâs head. âHow remarkable. Youâre a child who can even make clothes with his own two hands now.â
That sentence, paired with the imperturbable look on his indifferent face, sounded cute in a strange way. It was like he was a robot complimenting his little master according to his inbuilt programs, and at this thought, Yue Zhishi burst into laughter and glommed onto Song Yu.
âYouâre so funny.â He rested his chin on the top of Song Yuâs shoulder.
Song Yu found it very peculiar â no matter if it was âcuteâ or âfunnyâ, both of those descriptions didnât match him at all. But he still hugged Yue Zhishi back, even lifting him up in his arms without a single prior warning. He only let him down after Yue Zhishi called out ge in alarm.
âWhat are you doing?â
âYou havenât lost weight,â Song Yu said, as if to himself.
Yue Zhishi laughed again. âItâs only been a few days, how could I lose weight?â
Song Yuâs hand lay on his lower back, and he said, very mildly, âIt feels like itâs been a long time.â
At these words, Yue Zhishiâs heart stumbled slightly.
He didnât know where he found the courage, but he caught Song Yuâs hand and tugged him towards into the apartment. The curtains in the living room had yet to be pulled down, and the semi-dark space looked almost dark blue, like another lake. They headed towards the island in the middle â the soft sofa. Yue Zhishi loosened his hand and lightly pushed Song Yuâs shoulder, hinting at him to sit on the sofa; he himself sat on top of Song Yuâs thighs.
In the dimly lit space, he could see the touch of uncertainty in Song Yuâs eyes. Yue Zhishi took off the windbreaker and circled his arms around Song Yuâs neck. âI keep remembering about the kiss that was interrupted last time.â
His voice seemed thin and flimsy in the empty room â but it was because it was too quiet here, and even the sound of his breathing became very obvious.
âAnd I remember how it was interrupted. I also remember how much pain you were in afterwards, because we did something bad and because it might hurt your mom.â
The puffs of air from Yue Zhishiâs nose approached Song Yu, and there was a minute change in the tone of his voice.
âBut for some reason, I think I like this feeling.â
Song Yu found it odd how this person, who had no knowledge of sexual desire at all, could display such a delicate, inexperienced allure at this very moment.
âWhat feeling?â He wrapped his arms around Yue Zhishiâs waist.
âThe feeling of doing wrong things with you.â Once those words left his mouth, Yue Zhishi lowered his head, leaned in and did what he really, really wanted to do.
Song Yuâs lips were a bit cold, but they were very soft and supple; Yue Zhishiâs breathing was unsteady almost in the span of one moment.
He tried copying what Song Yu did in order to become the person in control, but he sensed that he wasnât doing it well as he pressed their lips together, gently rubbing or sucking. He could even sense that his movements were making Song Yu impatient, because he tightened his hold on him until their chests pressed together.
He felt constricted, and it became even harder to breathe.
Within this clumsy kiss, like a child filled with reluctance to leave, Yue Zhishi intermittently called out for his gege, but little by little, he lost that brief moment of control. Song Yuâs entire person lurched forward to save the body that subconsciously pulled away in shyness â he clamped onto Yue Zhishiâs waist, and Yue Zhishiâs upper body arched backwards under the rising moon.
Song Yuâs kiss swallowed his breaths like lake water, the illusionary feeling of having an allergic attack once again appearing. Yue Zhishi tightly grasped onto Song Yuâs clothes, and his mouth opened, separating from the kiss, in the fluster of him tilting backwards. He was like a drowning man desperately struggling for the surface of the water, seeking just one breath.
So Song Yuâs lips started to move downwards, leaving behind traces of moisture on his flushed neck.
âGeâŠâ
Only one sound had left his mouth when Yue Zhishiâs entire world spun. He was set down onto the sofa, his back sinking deeply into softness.
Song Yu rushed on top of him, and he watched as the gleaming shimmer of the lake outside the window suddenly landed on Song Yuâs right eye and temple. The cool toned ray of light floated suggestively on his handsome face, as though it yearned to rise and fall.
He was the lake that was about to swallow him whole.
Song Yu propped himself up with a hand on the edge of the sofa, just about to lower his head to kiss â and then abruptly, Yue Zhishi prevented him from doing so. âI got it!â
Seeing him like that, Song Yu paused, puzzled. Yue Zhishiâs eyes were bright and luminous, and the look on his face changed from the dazed confusion from before to a vivid liveliness, as though heâd been suddenly injected with something.
âGege, wait a bit. Get up first. I just had a great stroke of inspiration.â He wormed out from the narrow gap in between Song Yuâs arms, ran to the entrance hall and turned back to him after rummaging through his bag, the sketchbook and pens in his arms.
âWhatâs wrong?â Song Yu noticed his voice was somewhat hoarse, so he cleared his throat.
âI know how to express the theme now. It doesnât have to be the richly green lake water of lovely weather days â the lake is also very beautiful in the dark.â Yue Zhishi was extremely excited. He pretty much forgot that the collar of his hoodie had been pulled to one side, a stretch of his glowing, pale collarbones still exposed.
Song Yu turned his face away and didnât look at it. Yue Zhishi even ran over on purpose and kissed Song Yuâs cheek very generously. âThe light from the lake on your face just then was so beautiful, and it was that moment that inspired me. Thank you.â
He sat down on the floor, cross-legged, as soon as he finished speaking. He borrowed the shimmers from the lake, his pen flying across the paper as he outlined the design. He shared his thoughts with Song Yu, saying, âI want the base to be a wide swath of black and dark blue colours. And then with something like silver tulle, the raised neckline would make it look almost submerged â as well as with silver embellishments.â
Yue Zhishi raised his head and looked towards Song Yu. âIâve even thought of the make-up. I want the same kind of effect as when you were on top of me.â
Song Yu nodded, looking like he was slightly dissatisfied. He half-crouched in front of Yue Zhishi and pulled up his chin, forcing him to give him a kiss. He acted a bit ferociously and rose up before Yue Zhishi realised what was happening, turning on the lights in the living room for him.
As he picked up the windbreaker from the floor and turned to leave, Yue Zhishi reached out a hand and caught Song Yuâs calf. His eyes were still focused on his sketchbook, and yet his voice carried a coquettish lilt that was hard to detect. âWhere are you going?â
âTo shower.â
âYou have to turn the water up a bit warmer, or else you might catch a cold.â
Song Yu rather suspected he said it on purpose.
Since he now had an idea, Yue Zhishi was filled with energy, and he was swiftly immersed into his work.
He first drew out his general ideas on paper, and then he went upstairs with his bag, sitting down in front of the desk in his room. He completed his first draft with his drawing tablet and laptop. Even though it was just the preliminary round in his school, Yue Zhishi still wanted to do his best, unwilling to just go through the motions. Following the theme of âlakeâ, he drew five pieces, the main colours being a subdued black, navy blue and dark turquoise, and used thin, sheer fabrics on the clothing shapes to portray the sensation of rippling water.
Song Yu came out of the bathroom in his pyjamas and went to stand behind Yue Zhishi, staring at the screen.
âHow is it?â Yue Zhishi freed up a hand to search for Song Yuâs hand, but he couldnât find it no matter where he groped â Song Yu caught him instead.
âDonât cause trouble again,â Song Yu quietly said.
Yue Zhishi felt like he wasnât causing trouble at all, let alone âagainâ. He squeezed Song Yuâs hand, assuring him, âWait for me, Iâll go shower once I finish.â
This wait took a few hours. By the time Yue Zhishi finished colouring in his last piece, it was already close to midnight. Looking over, he realised Song Yu was already asleep on the bed, so he softly creeped to the bathroom downstairs, speedily cleaning up before he crawled into Song Yuâs blanket.
Heâd just gotten in when Song Yu appeared to wake up, his eyebrows drawing together. Yue Zhishi was somewhat dismayed, but in the next second, the semiconscious Song Yu wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace.
âHave you finishedâŠ.â Song Yuâs voice sounded very muffled, very hoarse.
âMn.â Yue Zhishi kissed his neck. âThankfully I have you, or else I wouldnât know what I wouldâve done tomorrow.â
Song Yu made a vague noise in response, and his hand slipped under the edge of Yue Zhishiâs pyjamas, touching the bare skin of his back.
âStill want to do wrong things?â
Yue Zhishiâs face suddenly burned, his lower back tingling. âAhâŠâ
A very light noise came from Song Yuâs noise, and it sounded like a laugh. He caressed Yue Zhishiâs spine. âSleep.â
With an early class that morning, Yue Zhishi got out of bed early together with Song Yu. He arrived on campus in Song Yuâs car and edited his drafted designs after lunch, quickly putting them into a powerpoint.
The preliminary round was each schoolâs selection of competitors â the ones who got through would enter the universityâs competition in a team. The rules for the preliminary round were relatively simple because of that reason; everyone only needed to submit their design drafts. They were not required to actually construct the clothes. The preliminary rounds for both the law school and journalism and communication school were both on the 9th, and they were also in the same multimedia classroom.
The round for the journalism and communication school was booked for 2pm to 4pm, while the law school was for 4pm to 6pm. Yue Zhishi couldnât stand waiting in his dorm after finishing his powerpoint, so he went over at 3pm.
âDonât be nervous donât be nervous.â Jiang Yufan went with him, and he squeezed Yue Zhishiâs shoulder. âYou definitely can get in. Itâs not easy getting into the school team, so donât you worry.â
There were other people other than the two of them in the corridor; there were quite a few law students whoâd arrived early just like Yue Zhishi. Song Yu couldnât come with him because he had a class. Yue Zhishi sneaked a look at the window, but he couldnât see anything â the curtains on the inside were drawn.
âLet me through.â A voice came from behind them, and Yue Zhishi subconsciously shifted to the side, his back supported by the wall.
A guy wearing streetwear with vintage translucent orange glasses walked passed him, his chin jutted high. He carried a set of sample clothes that were covered.
âLet me through, I want to go in.â
Jiang Yufan scoffed in contempt once that guy went inside. âHe must be a crab to have to walk sideways.â
âWowâŠâ Yue Zhishi couldnât stop himself from emotionally sighing; heâd watched him the entire way until he entered the classroom.
That guy definitely wasnât someone simple. The preliminary round started at 2pm, and yet he arrived fashionably late at 3pm. He wasnât nervous at all, even going above and beyond the requirements to make clothing samples.
âWhatâs so amazing about him?â Jiang Yufan grasped Yue Zhishiâs shoulders very protectively and shook him. âYou are the best. Understand?!â
âHeâs pretty strong.â Next to them, a girl also from the law school spoke, looking as though she recognised the person whoâd just gone in. âMy boyfriendâs in journalism, and he says that guy is most famous person in the schoolâs new students. Heâs called Xu Lin. His dadâs a television news anchor, and his mom is quite a famous fashion designer. Both of them could be judges for our competition.â
It was like Jiang Yufan was suddenly enlightened. âOoh, so the childâs following his motherâs footsteps. No wonder he looked so arrogant.â
That girl said again, âYeah, I didnât expect him to participate as well. Looks like the first place this year will belong to the journalism and communication school.â
Jiang Yufan nudged Yue Zhishiâs shoulder when he saw he wasnât speaking. âDonât be nervous.â
âMn, Iâm okay.â He had been so panicked before yesterday, but Yue Zhishi felt like heâd already stopped being nervous â he didnât know why. He was only a bit curious about how everyone elseâs designs looked.
He took out a piece of milk candy from his pocket, chucking it into his mouth.
The journalism schoolâs preliminary round finished at the same time he finished his candy.
The door opened, a bunch of people coming out, and the guy called Xu Lin took the lead in exiting. This time, his orange glasses were pushed to the top of his head, his long and narrow eyes full of confidence. He was even leisurely chewing bubble gum, and he was still holding his set of sample clothes.
There were quite a few people surrounding him. A short guy next to him was flattering him, saying, âYouâll definitely get into the school team. Youâre already giving the competition face by participating in the preliminary round, and you even prepared so seriously â it was virtually an overpowered attack.â
Xu Lin arched an eyebrow, and he didnât give either a response or an opinion; it seemed like he tacitly agreed.
When he passed Yue Zhishi, Xu Lin gave him a long look before walking past and turning around again. Yue Zhishiâs brain was currently filled with all the commentary he needed to say, so he walked around him to enter the classroom, not realising someone was looking at him at all.
âHey.â
Yue Zhishi still wasnât aware of what was happening, until someone circled around and ran in front of him â it was Xu Lin.
âWhat school are you from? The law school?â Xu Lin asked.
Jiang Yufan didnât like his attitude. âWhat are you âheyâing for, donât you know how to say fellow student.â
Yue Zhishi had a good temper, so he nodded at Xu Lin. âYes.â
âAre you also participating in this?â Xu Linâs eyes measured Yue Zhishi from top to bottom once. âAs a model, right? Models actually didnât need to come today.â
He walked over to study Yue Zhishiâs profile, nodding to himself. âYour body proportions are quite good, and your features are also outstanding. Itâd be such a pity if credentials as good as this went to be a model for the law school⊠Why donât I hire you, and you can be my model?â
Jiang Yufan laughed in anger, seeing how confident he was. âDonât you journalism students have people? Poaching from the law school â who would the championship belong to if you win?â
Heâd been misunderstood completely.
Yue Zhishi looked at Xu Lin and said, extremely candidly, âFellow student, youâre mistaken. Iâm not a model. I registered for the clothing design competition.â
The look on the other personâs face changed â disbelief covered his entire face, and he even pulled down the orange glasses on top of his head to put them on his nose again. He sized him up once more. âAre you serious? Does the law school not have anyone else to design if theyâre planting a model seedling into the hill of design?â
âNo one said what a model should look like or what a designer should look like.â Yue Zhishi smiled at him. âYouâre someone from the fashion industry. You should be more open and tolerant than us.â
But this Xu Lin had a strange personality as well, and he refused to give up. âYou really donât have to go. Iâll tell you directly, the law school doesnât have much talented people. Itâll be a waste even if you get into the team. Why donât you come to me â I can guarantee that Iâll absolutely make you shine at the fashion show.â
Jiang Yufan was rather worried. Yue Zhishi was famous for being soft, unable to reject anyone. It would be terrible if he really did end up being persuaded by this guy.
âLe LeâŠâ
Unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi spoke first. It was an ill-timed thought, but he thought of those words Song Yu had said not too long ago â and decided to take the first step towards being a qualified adult.
âThank you for recognising my outer credentials.â He spoke gently, a sincere smile on his face. Xu Lin thought heâd been convinced, crossing his arms across his chest in extreme satisfaction, but Yue Zhishiâs next words deviated from what he imagined.
âBut I apologise, I still refuse your offer. I decided to participate as a designer from the very beginning, and if I can enter my schoolâs design team and contribute, Iâd be honoured beyond measure. I have never considered any other option.â
Xu Lin looked like he couldnât understand him at all. He even looked as though he was about to roll his eyes at him, before he held himself back. But his chin was still angled highly, and he still held that utter confidence in himself. âYouâll regret it.â
âI wonât.â
Yue Zhishi was still smiling, and he shrugged.
âAnd I donât need other people to make me shine. I can do it myself.â