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Yan Yi’s suit vest and polka dot tie were thrown aside, his French-style shirt was half open, and the white skin under his collarbones was dotted with light red love bites.
After the gentle caress, Yan Yi’s legs were still soft and his rabbit tail had gotten wet. He leaned on the armrest of the sofa as the place between his legs was wiped with a tissue.
From the start to the end, Lu Shangjin had only unzipped his pants and used two tissues to help him wipe his dripping penis.
Yan Yi’s cheeks flushed red as he pushed Lu Shangjin’s shoulder shamefully, “Go away
I’ll wipe it myself
”
Lu Shangjin paused at the right moment and stopped at the distance where Yan Yi pushed him away. Holding the tissue in his hand, he looked at him, a little lost.
Yan Yi didn’t notice the hurt in Lu Shangjin’s eyes and wiped the come that flowed out, before reaching for his suit pants thrown on the back of the sofa.
“You keep getting it inside
I-I’ll get pregnant.” Yan Yi bit his lips as he put his clothes on neatly and went to the dressing mirror to tidy the pressed and wrinkled shirt.
His body was suddenly embraced from behind.
The alpha was tall and handsome, a little taller than him. When his chin rested on his shoulder, he was like a large, docile dog.
“Turns out you don’t want to give me a baby
” Lu Shangjin apologetically pressed the tip of his nose behind his ear, “I’ll wear a condom next time then.”
He had thought that Yan Yi cared so much about that child from the false pregnancy that he must have wanted a child. He just didn’t dare to ask, as long as Yan Yi didn’t actively refuse, Lu Shangjin could deceive himself and let nature take its course.
Perhaps, he just doesn’t want to give me one
these words had always been in his heart. He wanted to ask, but who would know the answer?
“What are you talking about?” Yan Yi froze for a moment, then smiled brightly, “I just don’t want to have a child too early. We’re both still young, and you have your career as well. When I don’t have to take nutrition shots anymore, I’ll also go to find a job I like. I don’t want a child to take up too much of our time together just yet. Mm, of course I would also be happy if there was one.”
Lu Shangjin didn’t react for a long time, silently digesting Yan Yi’s words.
It turns out that in his twenties, Yan Yi was imagining their future alone.
Why would he later long for a child to that extent? Lu Shangjin pursed his lips, closed his eyes and leaned slightly against Yan Yi’s head.
Perhaps just like he was now, when Lu Shangjin wanted to have a child, so that when Yan Yi came to his senses and wanted to leave him, he would have the ties for Yan Yi to be reluctant to leave.
“It’s scary to give birth to a child, isn’t it?” Yan Yi held the hand that was wrapped around his waist and rubbed it, “I’m afraid of pain.”
“I’m here.” Lu Shangjin said in a muffled voice, “Your alpha won’t let you get hurt.” When the time comes, he will inject two shots of powerful energy agents in advance to ensure the supply of soothing pheromones.
“My alpha
” Yan Yi lowered his head, looking very happy. After thinking for a long time, he finally decided to comfort his alpha, “Don’t be too sorry about the compatibility fit, it’s okay. With you
I really feel very comfortable, or you don’t have to be so gentle, I won’t feel very uncomfortable if it hurts a little
”
This was what Yan Yi said at the age of 23. At that time, he had grown out of his temper and always spoke with some caution.
“No!” Lu Shangjin suddenly shivered and refused sternly and loudly.
Yan Yi was startled, the fingers holding Lu Shangjin quivering as he carefully moved away, but Lu Shangjin grabbed back and grasped him into the palm of his hand.
“Yan Yan, I promise,” Lu Shangjin tightened his grip around his body as if seeking comfort, “I will treat you well and won’t hurt you even a little
 you promise me that you won’t leave me when you’re 27 years old
 “
“What are you talking about. Why can’t I understand?” Yan Yi’s expression relaxed, “Why are you so afraid. Do I make you feel uneasy?”
Lu Shangjin nodded.
“”Be more coquettish to me.” Lu Shangjin gently held Yan Yi’s cheek and bowed his head to kiss him, “You promise me
 promise me.”
Yan Yi turned around and stood on tiptoe to respond to the kiss. It seemed that he didn’t do so well that his alpha was always worried about his gains and losses.
He found a pen and paper from the lounge’s liquor cabinet and leaned over to write a paragraph with elegant and beautiful penmanship.
It wrote: “I will love you even at twenty-seven.”
He even signed his name at the lower right corner.
“I promise you.” Yan Yi shoved the note into Lu Shangjin’s hand, releasing soothing pheromones to him, “In case I don’t do it, you can sue me.”
Lu Shangjin laughed, “Who would accept and hear the case of such a silly appeal.”
Yan Yi watched him fold the note into a square and put it into his pocket, feeling warm water flowing through his heart.
As the charity auction drew to a close, Lu Shangjin had to show up again. Yan Yi stayed on the second floor, sitting in a place where he could see the booth and drink orange juice.
It just so happened that Tan Meng was also on the second floor. He sandwiched two pieces of chocolate almond cake over to chat with Yan Yi.
“I took two pieces, would you like to eat them?” Tan Meng sat on the high stool. The butterfly omega was very petite. Sitting on the high stool, his two slender legs swayed gently, “Lu
president has gone to the exhibition stand, hasn’t he.”
Lu Shangjin had repeatedly instructed them not to mention the name “Lu Shangjin” in front of Yan Yi to stimulate him. At home, the documents with the name printed on them had been kept away by Lu Shangjin.
Yan Yi seemed to pause for a moment. Tan Meng immediately changed the subject, taking out a hardcover book from his backpack and pushing it to Yan Yi, “My new book came out with a commemorative edition, the last one is for you.”
“My god, thank you.” Yan Yi touched the plastic packaging box delightfully, “Extremely cool.”
“I actually have a club that only accepts omegas. The members are of higher grade, come to my place if you’re interested?” Tan Meng stretched his legs with his back against the long table, holding a large glass of orange juice and sipping it.
The closing speech began at the exhibition stand on the first floor with a sincere thank you to Mr. Lu Shangjin, the organizer of the exhibition.
Yan Yi stared blankly at the three words “Lu Shangjin” on the screen, and his whole body froze.
Tan Meng immediately tried to pull Yan Yi away, but Yan Yi sat on the high stool and stared at the three words.
He suddenly couldn’t remember what his alpha’s name was.
For months, he hadn’t bothered to think about what his alpha name was, because he was sure he knew it.
What’s more, he was at home and had little contact with his alpha’s name.
“A-Yan
” Tan Meng didn’t stop him again. He was also a member of the high grade omegas, so he could deeply empathize with some of the injuries that Yan Yi has suffered.
It was a matter of time before his memories could be restored. No matter how he avoided it, Lu Shangjin had to face it.
When Yan Yi returned from the shock, he stood up in a trance, walked to the iron railing, and stared blankly at the alpha on the stand who was addressing the audience with indifference.
His name was Lu Shangjin.
In his memory, the name that was hated and brought some fear belonged to his alpha.
Yan Yi couldn’t say why he hated the name, he could only feel a little pain in the stomach, a little nauseous.
His brain blanked out for a while until something was jerked out of his mouth, and only then did Yan Yi look at the alpha standing and panting in front of him.
Lu Shangjin took the cigarette butt he took from Yan Yi’s mouth and brought it in front of Yan Yi to extinguish it with his thumb and forefinger, asking extremely helplessly, “Why did you run to the rooftop to smoke?”
When Lu Shangjin heard his name being read out loud, he knew it was over.
It was all over.
“I don’t know.” Yan Yi leaned gently against the rooftop fence, “I don’t know how I could be so skilled at smoking for the first time either.”
“Are you hiding something from me?” Yan Yi slightly raised his face and looked deeply at him, his fingers curled around Lu Shangjin’s tie, his eyes probing.
Trembling, Lu Shangjin held him and dropped his head to Yan Yi’s shoulders, not knowing how many times he could still hug him. It would be good to give him a painful but quick death too.
On the contrary, Yan Yi’s heart softened as he patted Lu Shangjin’s back, “You happen to have the same name as someone I don’t like, it’s not your fault.”
“Do you hate him a lot?” Lu Shangjin felt his blood pressure increase.
“Very much.” Yan Yi answered perfunctorily, “Otherwise, how can I remember it so well?”
Lu Shangjin had nothing to say. His heart was sliced horizontally by a small blade, and then scraped vertically into pieces, leaving a fine, bloody puddle.
After the jewellery exhibition, the two people went home as usual. What was different in peace was that Yan Yi was covered with a thin layer of ice, alienated and indifferent.
It began to snow.
There was a ginkgo tree outside the window of Lu Shangjin’s office, which had lost its leaves as early as autumn, leaving only one piece shaking unsteadily on a branch covered with snow.
A cold wind came. Lu Shangjin shivered and looked out the window, the last lingering leaf was spinning and floating down.
Full of tenderness and love, he waded through the swamp to chase after the light, seemingly escaping but falling.
The moment the ginkgo leaf fell in the thin snow, Lu Shangjin got up and left.
At twenty degrees below zero, Lu Shangjin was only wearing a suit shirt. Sitting in a car that had not yet warmed up, his frozen-stiff hands turned up the heat.
The snowy road was slippery and there was a little traffic jam in the middle. The company wasn’t far from home. Lu Shangjin directly threw the car on the side of the road, ripped off his tie and ran in the direction of their home in the cold wind.
Standing in the empty living room, the tips of Lu Shangjin’s hair were still dripping, and the edges of his leather shoes were stained with a ring of thin mud, which made a trail of footprints on the polished floor.
The car keys slipped from his palm and fell to the ground with a loud rattle.
Lu Shangjin knelt on the floor, at a loss, listening to the slow ticking of the clock in the silent home.
“You’re off work so early today.” There was a rustling movement of changing shoes and hanging clothes from behind, “I came back from Tan Meng’s and brought you some snacks.”
Yan Yi looked at the dirty mud-covered floor under Lu Shangjin’s feet in surprise, “What are you going to do? Do you want to die?”
Lu Shangjin suddenly rushed over and swept Yan Yi into his arms, panting sharply and instructing in a hoarse voice, “Please tell me when you leave home, okay?”
“Okay
” Yan Yi wanted to go and get the mop, but Lu Shangjin picked him up and stuffed him into the bathroom.
“I’ll mop it later.” Lu Shangjin refused to let go of him.
In bed, Lu Shangjin was still releasing soothing pheromones without restraint. Today, he was really too tired and fell asleep faster than Yan Yi.
When sleeping, Lu Shangjin always hugged him tightly from behind, the tip of his nose pressing against his neck as he breathed calmly at the back of his neck. If he couldn’t smell Yan Yi to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to sleep.
Yan Yi closed his eyes for a moment, placing his hand on the one held tightly over his waist, trying to separate Lu Shangjin’s hand to go to the bathroom.
The arms around his waist tightened in panic. Lu Shangjin slurred hastily in his sleep, “Don’t go 

 I’ll change, I’ll change everything 

”
Recently, his alpha had always been restless and had nightmares every night.
Yan Yi gently broke his hands away before turning around and stuffing the quilt with his smell into Lu Shangjin’s arms for him to hold, then quietly went to the bathroom.
When he came back from pouring a glass of water, the headlights in the bedroom were blindingly bright.
Lu Shangjin sat on the bed holding his head in pain. When he raised his head to look at Yan Yi, his eyes were blood-shot.
Yan Yi hurriedly walked to the bedside, releasing soothing pheromones to his alpha, and passed the cup in his hand to his lips.
“Drink some water, did you not sleep well again?”
Lu Shangjin’s face was haggard as he looked at him helplessly and mumbled with joy, “Ah, you’re still here.”
Yan Yi touched his forehead, it felt very hot.
Lu Shangjin’s bloodshot eyes were clouded with a layer of tears. With a shaking hand, he grabbed Yan Yi’s wrist and placed it to his cracked and burning hot lips, pressing close to the tattoo on the root of his ring finger.