Yan Yi stood by the dining table, half of his butlerâs uniform covered by a white apron and he wore a small pair of soft light brown suede slippers on his feet. He took out half a box of curry cubes from the drawer and broke off three pieces to steep in the fragrant beef soup, then unscrew a bottle of coconut water before pouring in for some flavour.
While waiting for it to boil, the corner of Yan Yiâs lips tilted in a daze, and he soon took off the carrot brooch on his chest again. Taking a deep breath, he wiped it with a white napkin to keep its diamond sections smooth and polish
Then, he put it back on carefully.
The curry boiled with steam floating up. Yan Yi took off the brooch, wrapped it up with a napkin and put it in his pocket. He was unwilling to allow the beautiful carrot to lose its shine from the smoke.
Through the glass door of the kitchen, Lu Shangjin could see the rabbit with a slender waist busily cooking the ingredients. His head was lowered, revealing a pale neck, unwittingly exposing the clean and smooth glands, while his delicate heel rubbed gently in the furry slippers.
Every part of skin on his body had been kissed by Lu Shangjin before, and his soft yet unrestrained appearance allowed Lu Shangjin to savour him for countless nights without reservation.
In a trance, Lu Shangjin felt that Yan Yi was just as enchanting as he was ten years ago. Besides his immature character fading, he remained exceedingly charming and graceful.
Lu Shangjin approached closer, watching him through the glass.
He had long forgotten when he had stopped having feelings for the rabbit, but he knew that it was very early on.
It seemingly started on a certain day when he no longer enjoyed being in the spotlight with Yan Yi. He didnât want this little rabbit to mess around with other alphas in public. He must admit that Yan Yi, a beautiful and affectionate omega, had coveted quite a few alphas.
To satisfy his own possessive alpha instincts, Lu Shangjin forbade Yan Yi to leave the house.
The little rabbit really liked the carrot brooch, he treasured it so much that he didnât know where it would be suitable to put it.
The look on his face sold him out, Lu Shangjin never had to fear that one day Yan Yi would want to leave him.
As though the gods and demons were at work, Lu Shangjin unconsciously pulled open the glass door and gently circled his arms around Yan Yiâs slim waist, kissing the side of neck.
Yan Yi became completely stiff, like being in a sleep paralysis where he couldnât move even if he wanted to, but the dream in front of him was filled with the gentle and beautiful colour of pink.
âXianshengâŠâŠ?â Yan Yi blinked as he slowly confirmed the familiar embrace. The rich scent of daffodil pheromones enveloped him, as if he was lying down on a field of flowers with the gentle wind blowing his face.
With difficulty, he turned around and lifted his head to face Lu Shangjin. At the next moment, he threw himself into his embrace, his arms softly wrapping around Lu Shangjinâs waist and nuzzling his head in his shoulder as if hugging a long lost treasure. Yan Yi said softly, âIâm sorry, donât punish me.â
He had waited for this embrace for many years.
Burying his head in Lu Shangjinâs embrace to seek comfort, Yan Yi was like a baby rabbit squeezing with his mother rabbit for warmth.
He wasnât prepared and hadnât managed to adjust to the best charming and flattering posture to win Lu Shangjinâs favour. His mind was blank, his only thought was to hold Lu Shangjin, drawing in the gentle warmth that was separated from him for many years.
Lu Shangjin gently patted his slim back.
The affection that should have come didnât arrive. Lu Shangjin was even tired of releasing some comforting pheromones for Yan Yi, as the heart-pounding feelings had faded. The compatibility of his milk candy pheromones and his own ones was too low, like a stranger passing by on the streets and disappearing when he looked back.
This wasnât love anymore, right?
No matter how many times impulse roused emotion, love was gone when it was. When feelings were lost and loving became a chore.
Yan Yi could also feel the estrangement from the other, and he lifted his head tentatively, his wet eyes watching him blankly. He looked at Lu Shangjinâs cool thin lips, waiting to hear what he had to say.
Yet subconsciously not daring to hear the words that would make his heart ache.
âGet cooking.â Lu Shangjin lifted his hand and perfunctorily touched Yan Yiâs cheek, âIâll accompany you.â
Yan Yi pursed his lips, grabbing his thin right arm with his left hand, lowering his eyelids and said softly, âIâve let the hospital know that if thereâs a suitable gland, Iâll try it.â
Lu Shangjin threw him an absurd look, âYou arenât a normal omega, your glands can be sold for two billion dollars on the black market. What do you want to try?â
The words stuck in Yan Yiâs throat. The more he wanted to answer calmly, the harder it was to make his voice sound normal. He said with difficulty, âI want one thatâs a little more compatible with yours, even just 5 percent higher is enough.â
âStop it,â Lu Shangjin rubbed the tip of his nose gently against his neck, his hands holding onto his slender waist, âYouâre an omega, youâll be useless if you change your gland. The advertisements in the hospital are all deceptive, itâll cause serious complications to your body. You could live through the procedure and may die afterwards, so donât even think about it.â
âIf you donât mind thenâŠâ Yan Yi obediently hung his ears, picking up the wooden ladle to stir the curry.
Lu Shangjin kissed his sensitive earlobe, âI donât mind.â
Yan Yi was lifted up onto the dining table. After so many years, Lu Shangjin was willing to have sex with him again.
He felt a little impatient, his slender fingers held Lu Shangjinâs face and comforted him with submissive tenderness, âJin ge, I belong to you⊠donât rush, be gentle, should I open up a little more?â
It was painful, like being played by an impatient client at a brothel. Clients never cherished their playthings, since they had no trammels and didnât require tender love nor responsibility towards them.
However, he didnât want to sweep away Lu Shangjinâs interest, so he could only bear it silently.
Rabbits were sensitive to pain. Discomfort for ordinary people was extremely painful to Yan Yi.
Hence inadvertently, Lu Shangjin was bound to hurt him countless times, watching the red rimmed watering eyes looking back at himself.
Lu Shangjin remained expressionless. He knew that the love that tortured them deeply was more painful than a slap. One was a sharp knife, the other was quenching thirst by drinking poison.
To him, Yan Yi was a piece of chewing gum that heâd chewed its sweetness away, sticking to his hand and unable to remove no matter how much he pulled and rubbed. It was undeniable that it had given him sweetness and tenderness, which could be recalled, but the gum was now tasteless.
Yan Yi sealed his lips and endured. After a long time, his bitten lips were stained with blood, his lower body that was in a trance had been brutally pierced open.
His heat had not arrived, so his entrance was tightly closed and was forcibly stabbed alive into a knot.
He felt like a dish cloth that had been torn in half out of need.
He was willing to bear children for Lu Shangjin.
But he was filled with hope that Lu Shangjin was willing to mark him, so other alphas would retreat and respect him due to the alpha pheromones engraved in his glands.Yan Yi wished for a reliable and gentle alpha husband, willing to comfort him with open arms whenever he yearned to be touched and held.
He longed for a family, not this empty, grand villa that occasionally admitted other omegas for one night stands.
He didnât dare to bring up the issue about marking, in fear that it would infuriate Lu Shangjin.
He could only wait day by day, for life to turn around, for a change of heart.
Lu Shangjinâs mood was as flat as the fit between them before. After finishing once, he neatly put on his clothes and answered the phone. There was a banquet that evening, so he took his coat and car keys before leaving the house.
âIâll be back home late.â He said.
Yan Yi wrapped himself inside the thin eiderdown duvet, listening to the door close, and the villa returned to silence. Holding the glittering carrot brooch in his hand, he stuck it to his chest with extreme care.
Today he received a gift, a hug and a kiss.
He should open a bottle of wine to commemorate this day.
Yan Yi sat before the dining table filled with the sumptuous dinner he prepared. He poured out a cup of red wine before silently drinking out of the half filled bottle. He then leaned on the table with boredom, his rabbit ears laying softly on the tableâs edge.
âHappy birthday to me yesterday. Iâm now 27 years old, I have to be well.â
He lit a cigarette, carelessly leaving it in his mouth. The wet apricot eyes scanned the room aimlessly before finally stopping at the hour hand of the quartz clock.
Perhaps, no amount of indifference nor grievances would make Yan Yiâs heart clog with anguish. But when a child was filled with joy when he thought heâd received a gift, only to find nothing in the box, his whole childhood would be left with a refined bruise.
His alpha didnât love him, nor did he love Yuan Mi. He only loved himself.