Chapter 287: Middle-aged menâs Full 100% middle-aged men edition from middle-aged men of Useless Middle-aged men? Part 1
Day 70 â Daytime, Murimuri Castle interior
Shouts of agony continue coming from the bamboo grove, or rather the thicket. Since it was frustrating to simply run away, I mass produced wire traps and pitfalls before retreating, so outside is still noisy with constant banging of explosions, but losing 100 or 200 wouldnât even begin making a dent on their numbers. That aside, why do middle-aged men of this world keep flocking to me? And just as I thought, middle-aged men ratio of this world goes against principle of causality itself! At this point it seems like itâs better to start investigating it from the cause and effect relation itself?
They already entered the castle, so it became more of a indoor guerilla warfare than siege defense, but it actually feels more like Bomberman. The issue is that Iâm on the side that is getting exploded, so itâs not fun at all. The mere concept of enemies doing nothing but setting up exploding already makes it one shitty game, but with all enemy characters also being middle-aged men it makes me want to smash the screen before even trying? Moreover, with photo-realistic middle-aged men⊠Couldnât they at least be a bit deformed for comedic effect?!
There are still more than 10,000 middle aged men, and the Churchâs forces that were hiding in the Fake Dungeon are also beginning to gather up. But the existence of suicide troops, which I didnât expect to see, prevents from thoughtlessly getting into close combat. But, like, close combat is all I can actually do? If I start carelessly shooting magic there Iâll immediately reveal my position, get surrounded, and then BANG.
Iâm successfully crushing middle-aged men by stirring them up with guerilla attacks to bait them into traps, but with the excessively excessive number of middle-aged men is excessive. No matter how many are exploded or caught into traps they keep coming. Itâll be all over if I get surrounded, so Iâm creating confusion while culling their numbers, assaulting groups that were isolated, only to then immediately retreat.
Itâs our loss if they get past Murimuri Castle. So I have to lure them to me, but I absolutely donât want to lure any middle-aged men! And those middle-aged men also have short fuse, exploding right upon seeing me. But if they manage to get through the castle and cause a stampede in the Frontierâs territory, it will be the Frontierâs defeat, as the army is currently all outside the region. I went around creating walls around every town and village, but I couldnât get to every single one, and having farmland devastated will also destroy agriculture. Moreover, knowing their history, itâs clear that the Churchâs army must be a bunch of scum who like taking hostages. I canât allow them outside the castle.
Two signal flares were shot in the morning. The Pres and others arrived. They must already be monitoring the dungeons. With this, two are covered.
I also would like to try something, but those Churchâs knights are strong. Their numbers are only in the few thousands, but even among those, there is a group in conspicuously extravagant armor that is far stronger than the rest. But I finally lured all of them to the castle. Now they should be unable to use a stampede. If they do, they also will be dragged into it, but if they try to turn back they will be cut off by the Fake Dungeon. Thatâs why they canât use it until they kill me. Thatâs why they might use their last resort measure, which by itself is sort of the worst case scenario? Thatâs why for now, Iâd like to cull their numbers as much as I can, but the third signal flare is yet to go up⊠And the fourth one is not going to be shot.
A drawn-out fight is exactly the most unfavorable scenario for me, but as the things are, I have no other options but to wait. Even if itâs hopeless, Iâm still going to bait them out until the very end, I want to crush as many as I can.
ăFilling both the Fake Dungeon and Murimuri Castle that I so painstakingly made with nothing but middle-aged men, as expected of the Church, their tactics are nasty? This has to be underhanded strategy aimed at destroying highschool boysâ motivation for combat. Why after I went through such lengths to even distribute flies and put up billboards, telling left and right that Iâd prefer a honey trap, rising flags as best as I could, they come with 40,000 middle-aged men instead!? Moreover, they even have fanatics, actual old men fetishists! If they want to explode so much, why donât they hug their beloved old fart and explode with him? Since itâs their fetish anyway?ă
Good grief, they can explode on the old fart or normies as much as they want, but do they have to come with explosive hugs to a humble and diligent highschool boy who lives a modest and honest life? If instead of exploding middle-aged menâs hugs it were embraces from explosively passionate ladies with dynamite bodies I feel like I wouldâve been easily caught? Even if itâs a trap, Iâd still go for it? Rather, I mightâve jumped into it on my own? Or rather, I totally will!!
However,ăEverlasting Trap â Continuously Creates Traps in Designated Areaăthat I accidentally picked up at the Royal Palace, is doing unexpectedly great. Filling the entire castle with traps it obliterates enemies. The Churchâs knights are too much though, but if I can at least take care of middle-aged bombers, close combat should also become an option, with ambushes, swift assaults and so on. Those are the most unexpected customers, the appearance of which I didnât foresee at all. I have nothing to feed them, or rather, even if I did Iâd rather I eat it myself, we have no food to give to middle-aged men!
Iâd like to save mana, but I canât get near them. I want to bait them, but getting surrounded means death. But even so, it would be a problem if they went to the Frontier, what do we do?
Thatâs right, letâs go back to the basics.
I couldnât raise my level, remaining quite weak, but I have a lot more small tricks, and great equipment now. However, that is the reason why I lost sight of something else.
Thatâs right, at first I was fighting with nothing. I fought while being unable to do pretty much anything. So letâs go back to the roots.
Sneak up from behind and whack them on the head. Hit them and run, while avoiding middle-aged bombers. What a nostalgic feeling.
ăMIDDLE-AGED MEN ANNIHILATION!ă
I mean, if they were regular filth, then sterilization wouldâve worked, but since even after disinfection a middle-aged man remains a middle-aged man, the only solution is a total physical annihilation?
Actually, adjusting the strength to knock them out without killing is quite difficult, but if they die, they will explode, and if they are still conscious, they will explode too. Either way, middle-aged men are still annoying no matter what you do. Even so, to think Iâd get to play a real life version of bomberman in this world, but isnât it weird that Iâm on the to be exploded side?
ăIf I knew itâd come to this I wouldâve either learned archery or at least made a bow gun. Well, running from place to place makes it more advantageous for me. And bludgeoning middle-aged men is surprisingly refreshing, which means the stress from the hell of highly-concentrated middle-aged men in the Fake Dungeon have accumulated to the point of ruining this world for me. Moreover, I also tried to scatter some poison mushrooms around, but unexpectedly, middle-aged men arenât eating from the floor? Yeah, I only got three of them with this so far? If only I could figure out middle-aged menâs weakness Iâd be able to exterminate them in one go⊠From this world.ă
The Churchâs knights are staying as one group, so I canât target them. They seem to be maintaining what appears like a defensive formation around that small unit that remained in the very rear all this time. In that case, Iâd like to destroy the mage unit and middle-aged bombers in the meantime, but the remnants of the noblesâ armyâs mercs and bandits keep getting in the way. And since it keeps stressing me out, I keep venting it out by clubbing middle-aged men? In other words, it seems to be an infinite stress release and generation cycle that will keep going until I exterminate middle-aged men from this world.