ăThank you for your patronage? Kind of? But you know, donât you have like, more expensive weapons or equipment? Or rather, I would really appreciate it if you were to attack carrying a huge load of cash or precious metals? Then Iâd gladly get mugged into the riches, also, you donât have to come in turns, you can attack all at once, and if you pull out money and weapons beforehand it will greatly save me trouble? Thatâs what nice bandits would do? Sort of? LIke, I think? Probably?ă
Everyone is a middle-aged man, so stripping them of their possessions is bothersome and not fun at all. It would be great if they simply handed all of their valuables and then collapsed on their own, such inconsiderate bandits. If they want to be stripped, they should properly bring a beautiful female assassin or a sexy female bandit for that. Such utterly inconsiderate bandits.
Moreover, we had close to a dozen bandit groups attack us, but Iâm still far from becoming rich. On top of that, every single one of them was a middle-aged man. Is this actually ăMiddle-aged men Worldăor something? Alright, letâs destroy it a bit! I think if I told Slime-sanăyou can have as many snacks as you want if you destroy this world~ăit probably will be destroyed? And it if takes too long, I can tell Armored Pres-san something along the lines ofăIâll make you a new hat if you destroy this world~ăand it will end in an instant? Iâm sure no one will grieve the destruction ofăMiddle-aged men Worldă, quite contrary, I personally will celebrate it. Then, scorch thisăMiddle-aged men WorldăïœâŠâŠ
ăHaruka-sama~, the next group is here~. How long are we going to keep doing this? This is the 8th group. Why does it hurt my heart even though we are the ones getting attacked by bandits? How come I canât help but see us as the real villains here? Ah, here comes another group. Poor thingsâŠă
And they are even slashing at me! A disgraceful lack of tact for bandits! Even though the first group properly used a throwing net, capturing me and Royal Girl and gluing us together with such marvelous squish-squish underhanded move, resulting in a wonderful rub-rub squeeze-squeeze fight! But the rest is nothing but worthless and incompetent ruffans.
Iâm bad at fighting humans, or rather, vulnerable to trapping skills. There is no chance for me to resist, and my physical attributes are considerably low. If struck by a movement-sealing skill or a sure-hit unavoidable attack Iâll easily die. The fragility that comes with my low stats is fatal.
Well, I have a slime bodyguard sitting on my head, its offensive and defensive capabilities are of the strongest tier, attacking and defending for it is the same thing because those two acts fused into one, the ultimate lifeform. Itâs sleeping though.
I tried to take them on, thinking it might serve as practice, but Iâm bored already, the reason being, every single one of them is a middle-aged man! Iâm fed up with this! Itâs been nothing but middle-aged men ever since I came to this world! Whatâs up with this staggeringly high middle-aged men ratio? Even though the worlds described in the books that I read in the past would have one encounter nothing but cute girls no matter where one goes and what one does, what is Middle-aged men outbreak? Looks like this is the worst world.
And itâs not only not fun, but also not profitable! Looks like getting attacked by bandits was an exploitative job? After all, they barely have any valuables. Good grief, such a waste of time and opportunity. We are going out of our way to guide every single group to some deserted place, and this is the treatment?! I mean there hasnât been a single beautiful female assassin, nor a sexy female bandit, nor a pretty female fencer, nor a cute sorceress! I hate this world.
And when I try to lewdly heal my soul by taking a peek at the openings in Royal Girls sexy dress, Maid Girl begins attacking me from her shadow. Itâs not fun?
ăYou know, getting assaulted by bandits is way less fun and profitable than I expected, and itâs kind of a chore? A total disappointment? Is how it kind of feels?ă
ăOn the contrary, Iâm curious how you could think that getting attacked by bandits would be fun and profitable? Who told you that? Could it be that this is the reason why you decided to escort me? Thinking that getting attacked would be fun and profitable? Why is a guard so keen on getting attacked by bandits? Wait! Is that even a guard then?ă
If you canât profit from doing what you want, thatâs just a hobby. In that case, I might as well say that Iâm doing this for a hobby, after all, Iâm not profiting and it isnât bringing money. I wonât say that dynamite-body-in-lewd-dress appreciation isnât on the list of my hobbies, but if a hobby comes with some profits, it would bring me great joy? In a rich man kind of way?
What do we do? Iâm sure we can bait more of them, but Iâm almost certain itâs going to be middle-aged men again! If everyone here is middle-aged men, then wouldnât it be quicker to burn them along with the town? There is one curious character, but itâs a middle-aged man too, so I canât get hyped up for that, even so, thatâs likely an assassin. But he is not taking the bait.
We canât bait him out even with this sexy body in such a lewd dress! He must be one of those! Letâs run away, it looks like this world is more dangerous than I thought. Letâs entrust him to the middle-aged men of this town. And since I want to see none of that, Iâm going home right now.
And here he is, right when I thought that. Well, since he showed up all on his own he must be confident. Since itâs another middle-aged man, that confidence is probably not in honeytrapping skills. Actually, I absolutely wonât forgive it if a middle-aged man tries to honeytrap me! As a highschool boy full of pure and innocent dreams for a honeytrap, Iâll tear it off and burn! Definitely!
ăEehm, no idea if you are a robber, an assassin, or a pervert, but do you need something, old man? Or rather, I have no business with old men? Actually, why are you an old man? ă
ăâŠâŠâŠâŠha.ă
From one glance I can tell this guy is bad news. He is incredibly skilled, and his level is high too.
Drawing the sword in one breath he instantly goes for a swing from the hardest to dodge position at the most difficult to dodge angle, moreover, while he pretends to go for the head, he suddenly changes trajectory to slash at legs, how nasty.
Trying to handle him with a scythe is dangerous. Switching to ăStaff of the World TreeăI useăMagic Wrapăand step forward.
He is reading my eye movements and breathing, he has full knowledge of human movements and perfect reading of human behavior. For someone knowledgeable with structure and principles of the human body, reading its movements is nothing special. This is an extremely professional murderer that honed his skills specifically to assassinate human targets, a murder machine that perfected the art of fighting and killing humans.
He instantly read and saw through the swing made with my low SpE, and picked the skill most effective to handle it, ăStrike Downă, his sword is rushing towards my staff. If it succeeds, Iâm dead. Flawless and overwhelming. Even if I look at my staff with future sight, the only future there is my staff being knocked away, and me being cut down just like that. Perfect technique, timing, and judgment. That is a professional. There is no way I can beat him with a swordsmanship designed for humans to fight other humans. (*Bonk*)
Hit into the back of his head from the side the old man fell to the ground. Yeah, I mean, even I have no idea where that attack is going to land, so there is no way he canăStrike Downăit? My attacks just go somewhere? So there is no point in reading my movements, since I myself canât read them? Like, itâs seriously confusing? Kind of?
This old man was reading too much into human anatomy and movements, so he didnât expect a staff swung at him vertically from the front to sweep him from the side into the back of his head. Yeah, thatâs asking too much? Even I canât predict where it will go, so thatâs a given? He probably had perfect reading of my presence and movements, but since even I donât know what is going to happen there was no point to that, I mean, no one knows? Itâs nonsense? Impossible to predict even with Future Sight? Yup, I totally donât get it.
ăIt-Itâs Dajimakam! The kingdomâs strongest assassin swordsman,ăDajimakam the Slasheră,the Reaper! ăThat meansâŠâŠ The great nobles are our enemies! ă
ăSo he is that rumored! As people say, meeting him means meeting death itself, capable of killing even high-ranking knights or S-class adventurers, the strongest killer! Eh, but he went down in one hit?ă
Oh, looks like it was Maid Girlâs acquaintance? Royal Girl seems to know him too. But since itâs a middle-aged man, I donât know him and donât care to know him. But it looks like even S-class adventurers, in other words, those of over level 100, were killed by him. Indeed, when it comes to fighting humans he had the ultimate strength. Being humans doomed them to a defeat. No, Iâm a human too, okay? Iâm saying this just in case, but there properly was ăHumanăwritten in my stats the last time I checked? Itâs alright? Iâm not sure what exactly is alright, and being worried, Iâm checking it from time to time, but itâs showing Human? Ah, what a terrible assassin it was! Such a tough fight!
But lets kill him here. The only ones capable of beating him are probably the pres and Bitch Leader at best? No, perhaps Vice B Great Sage-san can beat him too? A few others might have a slim chance at victory, but the majority would definitely get killed. Most likely even the geeks wonât be able to handle him. The idiots arenât humans so they can kick his ass all day long. This guyâs movements were the same as theirs. That is specialization at fighting human opponents. His level is below 100, but he is strongest when it comes to killing humans. If I let him live, someone might get killed. âŠHe was killing other people, so he knew what was coming eventually? After all, thatâs what fighting to kill each other means? Yeah, Iâm a murderer too, so I have a good idea about this as well, thatâs whyâŠ
Murderers need no graves, so I annihilated him without a trace. Graves are fine for those who have the gratitude of others. Murderers like us can just vanish without a trace after being killed. If you donât like it, then donât kill anyone. Itâs as simple as that.