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Day 50 – Morning, White Weirdo Inn.
「Today we are going to split into regular dungeon teams and floor master teams. Don’t mix it up? Especially Haruka-kun over there who is sleeping while standing? He isn’t listening to anyone even awake, and now he is asleep? Heeeeeeeey? Wake uuup?」
What a rude thing to say, I am listening, you know? Today we are delving 50 floors underground in three dungeons. Yeah, I heard that? I was simply unconscious with my eyes closed? I wasn’t sleeping, okay? I was even puppeteering myself with『Muppet』so I wouldn’t fall, so it’s alright? Zzz? Zzzz? Kind of? Zz?
「Wake up, we are leaving, okay? Come on, Angelica-san, how can we get him up? Eh, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEhhh! No-No-No, why does it have to be a wake-up kiss? Wait, why am I the one who is supposed to do that? Why is everyone staring at me? No, nope, no way, I can’t do such a thing with everyone looking! No, wait, everyone, please don’t turn the other way! Are you telling me to do it? I can’t? I’m too much of a coward for that? No way? Please, wake up!」
「Hmmm? How noisy? You are disturbing my sleep? Lack of sleep is bad for the skin, you know? Basically, the enemy of good skin? I can’t have it? But I can have that? Kind of?」
「Aaaan, no, you can’t! Why is everyone glancing here? No, don’t go back to sleep? Wake up! How did the morning turn out like this? Ue~en」
Hmm? The president is crying, did something happen? She is crying with her face bright red?
「There, there? Are you having colic from the lack of sleep? Are you getting cranky? Maybe you are hungry? But you just had your breakfast? Wait, did you? Seriously?」
「Why am I supposed to get cranky from being hungry and have colic? And I had breakfast! I’m not senile! Or rather, you had it as well!」
So lively. Is there no chance for me to enjoy the serenity of a peaceful morning?
「「「Aa~ah, she chickened out.」」」
「Traitors. Why did no one come to help? Why are you all looking away? What do you want, there is no way I can do that! Of course, I will! I’m a chicken!!」
Hm? But what’s for breakfast? It’s a dining hall but there is no food? I’m not interested in dieting, alright? Rather, my brain craves nourishment and doesn’t work properly?
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And when I woke up I was in a dungeon?『An unfamiliar dungeon』, actually, what is going on? Just what has to happen so one would wake up in an unfamiliar dungeon? Or rather, where am I?
「Aaa~h. He fi~nally opened his eyes~. It’s impressive how you can walk while asleep~? You didn’t wake up even when touched~?」
「Errr, so I walked here while sleeping? And who touched me where you say? What did you do to me while I didn’t wake up? Why is everyone averting their eyes? What did you do!?」
Suspicious circumstances came to light? There is no letting my guard down around them, we now have sexual harassment allegations on our hands? What did they do to me, where did they touch, who is the perpetrator? Why is everyone looking away?
「Noow, dungeon time! Let’s do our best, everyone?」
「「「「Yaaaay!」」」」
Even the shouts sound fake? Suspicions keep growing, right at this very moment. Suspicions might soon get bigger than the dungeon.
「There is a hidden room on this floor. Wait, actually, which floor is this?」
「The first one? We just stepped inside. Aren’t hidden rooms usually located deeper?」
Hmm? I don’t think I ever saw hidden rooms on the floors above the 20th? Much less on the very first one? But it is certainly a hidden room, it’s located in a pretty weird spot, but there is no mistake about it.
I press on the wall of the dungeon entrance.
「Eh?! That’s the entrance we came through? A hidden room right at the entrance?」
That revealed a small room. No treasure chests inside, only one lone book. A book? Is this one of those legendary porn books that get randomly discovered on riverbanks or in the bushes of public parks? So in a fantasy world, they are inside dungeons? But the percentage of pretty ladies in this world is very high, this is promising!
「Eerm,『Know How Magic Tools!』, huh, they really published it! So my midnight mumbling was a foreshadowing! A flag that no one knew about? Raised it myself, and then collected it myself! And also, give me back my highschool boy-like expectations!」
I did say that it would be nice if it existed, but why was it inside a hidden room in a dungeon? Even so, these series are banned, so someone could’ve hidden it here. They probably thought that this book could help the frontier, so they probably hid it here to save it from fire. The thick layer of dust indicates just how much time it spent here.
From a quick skim, 『Know How Magic Tools!』seems to be a continuation of 『How to Magic Tools!』, what’s next? How many books are there in total? The contents are more advanced techniques of magic tools creation and detailed explanations of the theory behind magic and skills. The title aside, it’s a pretty serious book. The pages filled with fine letters convey the passion for the safe and comfortable life of people. It’s impossible to measure just how much of a loss to society the ban of this book was. Considering just how much more convenient it could’ve made the lives of the people, and how much safer it could’ve made things not only for troops and adventurers but for merchants and even simple farmers, it, by all means, should’ve been recommended and endorsed, while banning it is nothing but a disaster? Huge damage? Truly a royal pain in the ass.
「Do you mind if I have this book? It’s a book on magic tools creation, so I’d like to read it and experiment. Kinda?」
「「「Sure. That’s a book you need.」」」
Got it. Okay, now, to avoid missing everyone’s share I’ll have to thoroughly search for hidden rooms. It’s a treasure hunt.
As monsters of the upper floors are slaughtered and turned into magic stones before I get to see them, I pick the stones off the ground.
Armored Pres-san seems to be in a good mood, happily butchering monsters. I recognize this pattern. It’s 『I’m not getting anything to do』scenario. A very common one. Going on dungeon exploration and just walking all the way to the lowest floor without doing anything should be a pretty unique experience, yet it’s a very common one. Seriously.
「Hm? Another hidden room. Isn’t this the 5th floor? Is it a dungeon with extra hidden rooms? Maybe it’s a bookstore dungeon! Okay, let’s remodel the place and settle here.」
「You are saying this after finding just one book?」
「So he didn’t give up on remodeling yet.」
「Mmm~nm? But~ the location is pretty dubious~, far away from both the town~ and any villages~?」
I see, yeah, it’s not the time to be rash.
「You are right, I have to calmly go one by one through each and every property and compare them.」
「「「Dungeons are not properties and they aren’t for sale!!」」」
For some reason, they seem to be very opposed to the renovation idea. Looks like they prefer brand new places.
「Eeeh? But building from scratch is going to be a huge pain? Without digging I won’t be able to understand the foundation and soil, so it will become full of holes? This world I mean?」
Yeah, as expected, Flat Gaze in a dungeon feels completely different. On top of that, aside from me, all other members of the three merged parties are girls. The thickness of this Flat Gaze is completely different. But I’m visiting the adventurers’ guild every morning, getting Flat Gaze from the Receptionist President? Without fail? It seems I did the same today as well, even though I have no recollection of that? I entered the guild like I was sleepwalking, complained about the quests as if sleep-talking, and getting my fill of Flat Gaze, apparently left? Really?
「Here? Eehm,『Let’s Go Magic Tools!』, why did you have to hide them separately on different floors!? What a pain! Or rather, aren’t there any other books? Also, are you still going to drag on that naming theme?」
A third issue. This one seems to be an advanced-level edition, with everything having a much greater difficulty level. Many required materials seem hard to obtain as well? What is this?
「Oh, it has clothes,『Multicolor Dress, a dress which color can be changed through magic power』. Whoooa, making this one would be such a pain? It requires no special materials, but processing magic stones for this formula will be very tiresome?」
「「「Make it! Blouses and skirts as well! The book is yours, just make it!」」」
Making a dress, a blouse, and a skirt version of this? For 21 people? So 63 items? Who is going to make those? When is that person going to sleep? Even this morning, I was extremely sleepy from going to sleep so late with all those custom orders yesterday? But I was awake when taking measurements? Wide awake, especially with Vice President A-san’s straight skirt, and Vice President B-san’s apron dress, not only did they wake me up, but I burned what I saw into my Rajingan. The measurement tape went BOING! Like, Pyon! And as a result, I was lectured until deep into the night, getting only a bit of sleep? And for the shrimp, I went with a western jacket with a fringe, which got Dazzle Effect attached. Here I thought that I’d be able to take things easy after making a one-piece for the president tonight, but I got even more troublesome orders? At this rate, I might get 『Insomnia』Skill? Before long I might even start singing Nessun Dorma? Talk about public annoyance.[1] [TL Notes:
[1] “Nessun dorma” (Italian: “Let no one sleep”) is an aria from the final act of Giacomo Puccini’s opera Turandot and one of the best-known tenor arias in all opera. It is sung by Calaf, il principe ignoto (the unknown prince), who falls in love at first sight with the beautiful but cold Princess Turandot. Any man who wishes to wed Turandot must first answer her three riddles; if he fails, he will be beheaded. In the aria, Calaf expresses his triumphant assurance that he will win the princess.