Chapter 74

Under Shizhou Mountain, when the spiritual energy in his mind backlashes for the first time, Yan Zhengming really doesn’t want to live anymore.

For a normal person, he can at least pass out when the bodily pains become too much. For Yan Zhengming, though he may pass out, his primordial spirit is wide awake and is stuck with the rioting sword energy in the inside of his head, which is nearly crushed. He can neither fight against it, nor can he run away. Inside him, not only his spiritual energy is in upheaval, there is also a deadly crack caused by the Dragon Binding Locks. That crack is mitigated only by the sword energy that causes trouble for both him and other people.

He has no other choice but to find joy in his suffering and proudly thinks, “I’m unexpectedly powerful.”

However, just a second later, he has to bear a strike from his very powerful sword.

A sword cultivator’s primordial spirit and sword energy can unite and become one because they have the same origin. The backlash happens inside his own head, so he won’t die even if he is stabbed into a sieve.

The more deadly problem is that inside his chaotic head, there is not only sword energy but also the fluttering black smoke, which is no other than that damned heart demon.

This thing can’t be hurt by anything. From time to time, it’ll emerge from some unexpected corner. If it manages to snare his primordial spirit, it will give him a brutal tongue lashing.

It starts with leading him into a pleasant illusion, in which the possibility to satisfy his deepest desire is displayed. As soon as he is tempted to take up the chance, the illusion immediately changes. It may take the shape of his Master, or Cheng Qian with an icy expression, or even Yan Zhengming himself, but the action and attitude are always the same, which is pointing at his face and shouting, “Shameless beast!”

He has to go through that mental burden while being pierced by his own sword at the same time, which is an unbearable torture for both his mind and his heart. This process keeps repeating without end.

What should Yan Zhengming feel, when he has to be painfully run through by his own sword energy under Cheng Qian’s glare?

In the beginning, Yan Zhengming thinks to himself, “Why the hell should I keep on living? I should just destroy my own mind and get everything over with. In any case, I’m just a shameless beast.”

However, he always remembers right away that with his cultivation, once he destroys his own mind, everyone within a good distance from him will be seriously hurt if they are not killed in the first place. Therefore, he has to endure.

He smiles painfully and says to the shade of Cheng Qian in front of him, “You… if someday you want to kill me, I guess I’ll just lay down and die myself.”

That reaction seems to be not what the effect the demon of the heart expected, so it cleverly transforms into Yan Zhengming himself.

Yan Zhengming immediately pales and hatefully turns away. “If it’s you, forget it. Fuck off over there and drop dead.”

Gradually, he gets used to the torture. The desire to live rebelliously rises in his heart, as he thinks. “If I really die, then what will happen to our sect? What will happen to my junior brothers? Do I want Xiao Qian to have to taste my century-long pains?”

As soon as this last thought emerges, Yan Zhengming can’t resist indulging in some fantasy. If he dies here right away like that, will Cheng Qian remember him for eternity out of grief? Although it is a really painful idea, as soon as he imagines that, in the future whether during cultivation or ascension, Cheng Qian will never get over him, Yan Zhengming feels so happy that he grins toothily.

Nevertheless, he doesn’t get to be happy for long, because the demon of the heart will periodically appear and reminds him that he is a shameless beast.

As more time passes, Yan Zhengming discovers that his primordial spirit can hear the sounds from the outside.

He knows that this isn’t a good sign. The weaker a primordial spirit is, the easier it gets assimilated by the body and accordingly receives part of what the body senses. For him to hear sounds, that means his primordial spirit can’t last for much longer. Nevertheless, when he first hears Cheng Qian’s voice, he is so happy that he is nearly pierced by the sword energy from head to toe.

The problem is, for a long while, Cheng Qian doesn’t say much, despite being always there.

The most talkative one is Puddle. Yan Zhengming discovers for the first time that his little sister has the bad habit of monologuing to anything. Every time she opens her mouth, she starts with “Most senior brother, I know you can’t hear me, but,” then yammers on for a good while.

From her, Yan Zhengming learns that he has been back to Fuyao Estate, and that Cheng Qian took him to the bamboo grove and has been looking after him without rest. Yan Zhengming even learns about the chaotic situation outside thanks to her habit of telling everything without discrimination. Compared to her, Li Yun is more boring, because he only sighs and occasionally complains a little.

Only when Tang Zhen comes over, that Yan Zhengming can hungrily listen to a few lines from the person he yearns for.

Thus, he gets to hear something very important.

Yan Zhengming completely ignores the part where Tang Zhen recommends preparing for his funeral. To him, it is just white noise. Only the line “no matter if it’s to the Heavens or the Underworld” stays with him.

With just this line, the constantly lurking demon of the heart withdraws, as if being scared off by his dumb smile. The black energy that has been covering everywhere suffers a mysterious damage and significantly fades.

“Do I have a chance?” He thinks to himself, as his soul does a somersault.

Unfortunately, the backlashing sword energy isn’t at all affected. His primordial spirit is stabbed and pinned on the spot. As his primordial spirit lies feebly in the disquieting head, Yan Zhengming sighs and thinks, “My feelings for him are worth it. Well, I can rest in peace.”

However, he himself doesn’t notice that the damage caused by the Dragon Binding Lock to his mind slowly heals a little.

Outside the bamboo grove of Fuyao Estate, Puddle hugs an ancient sword in her lap. It is none other than Cheng Qian’s Shuang Ren.

When Cheng Qian was tied up and taken to the Immortal Binding Platform, Shuang Ren was taken from him by Yang Decheng. During the chaos that broke out later, the sword fell into the possession of White Tiger Estate. When the White Tiger Estate sent a messenger to establish a friendly relationship, they also returned this killer sword that brought bad luck to whoever held it.

Switching from human form to bird form then back, Puddle makes countless rounds outside the bamboo grove. She is about to pluck out all of her own tail feathers out of anxiety, but she can’t find a way to open the conversation. The day before, when Tang Zhen left the estate, he sent a message to Li Yun and told him to help Cheng Qian not to get too caught up in the situation.

It is likely that Li Yun has a bad feeling and dares not come himself, so he pushes all the responsibility on her.

If the worst really happens… Puddle jumps down from the top of the tree and stands there motionless for a while, as a great sorrow slowly spreads in her chest.

Her most senior brother is impossible to please, in addition to his habit of lashing out at her. However, she really can’t imagine what it will be like, if he isn’t there anymore. Just thinking vaguely about that is enough to make Puddle feel like the sky is about to collapse.

As she is standing without moving on that spot, the door to the building in the bamboo grove is suddenly opened from the inside. Before she can prepare herself, she already faces Cheng Qian, who is going outside.

“Third… Third Brother,” Puddle stammers, “Second Brother told me to return Shuang Ren to you.”

“Oh, I nearly forget it,” Receiving Shuang Ren, Cheng Qian looks over her. His face softens. “It’s only returning my sword. Why are you crying?”

Puddle wipes her face. It isn’t until then that she realises her face is already wet with tears. All of the fears and hurt in her heart erupt and choke her, making her unable to say anything.

Cheng Qian looks up and sees Li Yun standing on the artificial mountain of the estate, who is looking on worriedly from afar. How can he not get what these two are thinking?

After a pause, Cheng Qian taps lightly on Puddle’s head with his finger and says softly without hesitation. “Don’t cry. I won’t let anything happen to him. You can rest assured about that.”

Puddle widens her eyes and stares at him through the tears.

Cheng Qian gives way to her and says, “Come in. I have to find Tang Zhen for something.”

As he turns to leave, as if with divine intervention, something flashes in Puddle’s simple mind. “Third Brother, please don’t be reckless. You’re already protecting our most senior brother by protecting yourself.”

These extraordinary words pin Cheng Qian on the spot, as a strange feeling rises in his heart. It takes a while for him to quietly hums a reply without looking back.

Wherever there are human emotions, there are unrest and pain. The flavours of life are no other than that.

On the other side Tang Zhen listens carefully to Cheng Qian. He seems startled by what he hears. “What? There is no… Can you be mistaken? He, a sword cultivator who has reached the ‘divine realm’ level, doesn’t have his personal sword?”

No matter how many high-level spells carved on the blade of a sword, no matter how many precious artifacts used to forge that sword, no matter if there is the soul of a great warrior or a powerful demon sealed inside it, that sword is still a nonliving thing made from regular iron. It can be used to kill people, but can also be used as a knife to cut vegetables.

Only the blood of the many souls perished under a sword can give it a killer aura. Only the spiritual power and swordplay techniques of the sword’s wielder gives it its spirit. The sword’s mind arises from the primordial spirit of the one who wields it. Time and time again, the wielder and the sword refine each other. That’s the only way to create a sword that truly connects with its wielder.

It may not matter that much for the practitioners of the other paths, but the personal sword of a sword cultivator is of vital importance. Normally, the characteristics of the sword define the spiritual power and the affinity with the Five Elements of the wielder, among other things. Therefore, as soon as a sword cultivator reaches ‘concentrate the mind’ level, their first task is to find the sword Fate has assigned to them.

A sword cultivator without his personal sword is just like a beast without claws and fangs. What has Yan Zhengming been relying on to reach the ‘divine realm’ of sword cultivation?

After a while, Tang Zhen still can’t recover from his surprise. “Then which sword he has been using?”

“A regular sword,” Cheng Qian says, “He had a room full of swords when he was young. He hung them on the wall as decoration. If the sword he was using broke, he would just replace it with a new one.”

When he newly reached ‘concentrate the mind’ level, Yan Zhengming had to lead everyone of his sect in their hasty escape from Azure Dragon Island. Then he wandered the world with Li Yun and Puddle. He had to make a living for his family while keeping up with his sword cultivation. On top of that, he had to deal with the sect leader seal. It can easily be seen how occupied he was. As he had no trustworthy senior nearby to instruct him, he completely ignored the sword issue.

“I stayed up the whole night to come up with a solution,” Cheng Qian says, “A sword is the only external factor I can come up with for a sword cultivator, which can connect with his mind. It just happens that my senior brother doesn’t have his own sword. Tang-xiong, if I can find that sword for him, will he be able to directly reach the ‘sheathing’ level?”

Tang Zhen hesitates a little before replying. “I really haven’t considered that. Your senior brother is indeed an unprecedented case. In this situation, if a suitable sword can be found for him, it may not help him progress to the next level, but it can still prevent further unrest in his mind. As long as he can wake up and use his spiritual energy to heal himself, both his injuries and heart demon can be gradually dealt with.”

Sweats suddenly seep out from Cheng Qian’s palm. They stick on Shuang Ren’s handle and form a thin layer of ice. He can’t help but asks urgently, “Where can I find this sword? I have no clue for this, so I have no other choice but to consult you. If I can really… really…”

He is unable to continue. It takes a while for him to say slowly. “Tang-xiong, please help me with this. My life will be yours.”

“No, no, no,” Tang Zhen hastily waves his hand. “It’s just common knowledge that anyone who lives long enough can tell you. Don’t be so rash. We definitely have some clue for this case. Otherwise, sword cultivators wouldn’t have time to do anything else besides searching for their swords. Normally, a sword cultivator doesn’t enter the Tao based on nothing. They must be guided by a sword energy from somewhere around him. As far as I know, the personal sword of a sword cultivator is usually the one in their hand when they enter the Tao. Of course, there are exceptions.”

Cheng Qian frowns. “He is that exception. When the disciples of my sect begin to learn swordplay, we all use bladeless sword made from wood.”

Tang Zhen asks, “Then, the place where he entered the Tao is…”

Cheng Qian’s eyes twitch a little as he says, “Fuyao Mountain. We can’t return there.”

Tang Zhen asks, “Who instructed him when he entered the Tao?”

Cheng Qian’s face becomes even heavier. “My Master.”

Tang Zhen knows it himself that Muchun Zhenren’s soul was gone a long time ago.

Cheng Qian says, “Tang-xiong…”

“When a sword cultivator enters the Tao, what guides them is only one in these three factors: the weapon in their hand, a divine artifact, or the sword energy of a powerful cultivator nearby. He was using a wooden sword when he entered the Tao, so it’s obviously not the first type. Therefore, his sword was guided by some divine artifact on Fuyao Mountain, or your esteemed Master himself.”

At this point, even Tang Zhen looks visibly disappointed. The newly found chance and hope quickly turn impossible in a blink of the eye, as if Yan Zhengming’s fate has been decided.

Tang Zhen pauses then shakes his head. “You… Alas, please bear with it.”

Cheng Qian stands helplessly on the spot for a while. Then he picks up Shuang Ren and turns to leave. Tang Zhen hurriedly follows him. “Where are you going?”

“To the Valley of No Sorrow, where my Master’s soul was gone,” Cheng Qian says without looking back. “If that doesn’t work, I’ll go find Wen Ya, or go to White Tiger Estate, or the Azure Dragon Island, or even the Black Tortoise Hall. Anywhere that may have something of my Master’s, I’ll search there.”

Tang Zhen says, “Won’t you just run around like a headless chicken like that? Assuming that your Master left something, what if his sword has no relation to your Master and can only be found on Fuyao Mountain? Furthermore, even if you are lucky enough to find it, in his current state, his body won’t last more than a hundred days. How can you be back in time?”

Cheng Qian turns sharply. For a second, Tang Zhen can’t breathe, as a vague fear swells in his heart. He feels that Cheng Qian himself is a sword, not any different from Shuang Ren.

Standing against the light, Cheng Qian stresses every word. “I know, but… I refuse to cry before he is in the coffin.”

Cheng Qian is the type that puts his money where his mouth is. He goes directly to Li Yun after living the guest quarters and drops a line. “I’m going out for something. Will definitely be back after one hundred days.”

He disappears without bothering to wait for Li Yun’s response.

Li Yun: “…”

It isn’t until then that, for the first time, he understands his most senior brother’s desire to call it quits and go home when they were on Azure Dragon Island back then.

Right at that moment, Puddle charges in, panting, “Second Brother!”

Li Yun unhappily says, “What’s the problem with you again?”

“Our most senior brother, this place on him…” Puddle points at her forehead. There is a long and thin dark red mark on Yan Zhengming’s forehead, which is the sign that he is under siege by the demon of the heart. Puddle incoherently says, as she uses her fingers to illustrate, “Suddenly became shorter!”

Does she think that the heart demon’s mark will become shorter just because she says so, as if it were an uncooked noodle? This girl’s mind is really strange.

Li Yun wants to tell her off, but Puddle already continues, “I thought my eyes deceived me, so I said ‘Most senior brother, why does your heart demon’s mark seem to shorten’. As soon as I said that, the mark indeed became shorter, as if he heard what I said!”

Cheng Qian isn’t aware of what has been going on in the estate. In the early morning of the next day, he already leaves and travels non-stop to the Valley of No Sorrow. The rollercoaster of emotions, as he finds hope then discovers that the hope is far from his reach, really tires him out, such that even with his high cultivation and heart of steel, his legs can’t help shaking when he rides his sword.

When he is in that old place again, he takes a deep breath to calm his disquiet heart, then strides into the valley. There seems to be some barrier ward in this valley, because Shuang Ren buzzes as soon as it is near the place. The blade shakes to the point that it gets out of control, and it absolutely refuses to stop, as if being extremely scared of something. Cheng Qian has no other choice but to land and go on his own feet.

He can’t help but recall the first time he returned from there. Lord Gu sent a group of cultivators to look for him, but for some reason, those powerful warriors dared not set one step into the valley.

As Cheng Qian raises his head, the Valley of No Sorrow is like a giant jewel of nature. From afar, it emanates a layer of mysterious fog, which doesn’t seem to be of the mortal world.

Maybe the body forged from the Spirit Collection Jade of his is too sensitive, but Cheng Qian keeps having the feeling that there is an unusual energy in this valley.