Chapter 7

Maybe their master’s bumpy saucer and rusty coins were really useful and he somehow foresaw this scene, as he looked well prepared.

With eyelids drooping, Muchun Zhenren stepped up to the podium, ignoring the undercurrent among his naughty apprentices. He said sluggishly, “For today’s morning class, I want you to read Scriptures on Clarity and Stillness after me.”

Scriptures on Clarity and Stillness here wasn’t the same thing as Wondrous Scripture of Constant Clarity and Stillness, as Spoken by the Most High Lord Lao. It was only a piece of rambling repetitive talk, which was, in all probability, fabricated by the master himself, as its content was largely unintelligible.

Probably to show clarity and tranquility distinctly, Muchun Zhenren prolonged each character into two as he read. His drawl almost suffocated him, resulting in a striking vibrato in the last syllable of every sentence, which made him sound like an insane laodan [1] with a puckered mouth.

Cheng Qian listened for a moment and his ears began ringing — so loudly that he had his heart in his mouth, he was afraid that his master was meant to murder him.

Eventually, their master finished reading, gasping. He leisurely sipped from the teacup in front of him to soothe his throat. Cheng Qian hastily flapped the goose pimples off his body, and was waiting expectantly for his mater’s brilliant remarks on charms and magic when he hopelessly heard his master’s nauseating drawling voice again. “Okay, let’s read once again.”

Cheng Qian: “…”

Cheng Qian felt an impolite pat on his shoulder. His showy but useless first senior brother accosted him initiatively.

“Hey, kid.” Said first senior brother. “Budge over.”

First senior brother was the most precious treasure of Fuyao Sect. If he asked, Cheng Qian dared not go against him.

Young master Yan lifted his eyelids, and Taoist children around him moved over a bamboo Beauty Chair [2] right away without prodding. He reclined on it and openly closed his eyes in his master’s presence, then started napping in the thundering sound of “stillness”.

After observing for a while, Cheng Qian discovered some strong points of his monster-like first senior brother — he didn’t snore when sleeping, for example.

Perhaps other people had been used to this. When first senior brother was having a brazen doze, second senior brother had mixed with his little junior brother in a short time, and simultaneously, didn’t give up co-opting Cheng Qian, for he kept winking and frowning at him.

Of the four apprentices present, only Cheng Qian was relatively lenient towards their master. His lenience and harshness were always clearly demarcated, but they were both faithful and meticulous. In the chaotic mess, only Cheng Qian sat motionlessly like a mountain and finished the “routine morning reading” with his master, so that the morning class didn’t become his master’s monologue.

Seeing that Cheng Qian didn’t even bother to acknowledge him, Li Yun rolled his eyes and came up with an idea. He shipped a small porcelain bottle out of his sleeve and shook it before Han Yuan. He murmured, “Do you know what this is?”

Directly Han Yuan took it over and opened it, a horrible stink washed over him and made him light-headed. Even Cheng Qian sitting behind him was unluckily involved.

“This is magic water, Golden Toad Liquid. I made it myself.” Li Yun said smugly.

“Isn’t it water that bathed toads’ feet?” Cheng Qian snorted.

Han Yuan covered his nose with his fingers and gave back the alleged “magic water”. Enduring the stink, he asked, “What’s it for?”

Li Yun smirked and scrunched the rice paper on his desk into a ball. Then he dripped a few drops of magic water on it. As the water seeped into the paper speedily, the paper ball turned into a live toad in the blink of an eye.

There were various beasts and birds all over the world, why did he only pick out toads to play with? What a weird and sickening interest!

Cheng Qian was starting to understand why first senior brother looked at second senior brother as if looking at a shit.

Li Yun looked up and met Cheng Qian’s eyes. Grinning, he poked the toad with his pen and said pointing at Cheng Qian, “Go after him.”

The toad croaked and ran towards Cheng Qian. But it was nipped by a skinny hand midway — their master sneaked close to them unnoticed. The toad turned back to a normal paper ball in his hand.

“Heretical tricks.” Muchun Zhenren sighed as if chanting. “You’ve got a real talent, Xiao-Yun.”

Li Yun stuck out his tongue at him.

“If so, now you lead your junior brothers to read.” Said his master.

Li Yun had no option but to force a eunuch’s voice and spent approximately an hour reading the small paragraph of Scriptures on Clarity and Stillness repeatedly for at least a dozen times, until his master eventually showed mercy by calling for a halt and put the endless torment into an end.

“I am gonna pee if he goes on reading.” Han Yuan whispered to Cheng Qian, shivering.

Cheng Qian sat stiffly, pretending not to be acquainted with him.

Having sat in repose for over an hour, their master looked radiant. He said, “Quiet reading should go with active motion. All of you, get out with me — oh, Cheng Qian, wake your first senior brother up.”

Cheng Qian didn’t anticipate such a misfortune would fall upon him. He turned aside and looked at the youth in white. Then he steeled himself to reach out a finger and poked him on the shoulder like touching a flame. He thought with his heart in his boots, “It’s Master that asked me to wake you up, don’t take your anger out on me.”

First senior brother seemed to have a sweet sleep, as he didn’t get angry. He opened his eyes that was blurred with sleep, and stared at Cheng Qian for quite a while, then he took a deep breath and crawled out of the chair. He feebly waved his hand and said, “Got it… you can go first.”

Half-awake young master Yan appeared to have a better temper. His peach-blossom (amorous) eyes were misting and his gaze at Cheng Qian thus softened a lot.

Afterwards, Yan Zhengming asked with a gentle expression, “Oh, one more thing, what’s your name again?”

“… Cheng Qian.”

“Oh.” Yan Zhengming nodded indifferently. Compared with his undisguised disgust for Li Yun and his behavior of covering up his face before Han Yuan, His attitude towards Cheng Qian was reasonably polite.

With that “Oh”, Yan Zhengming paid no more attention to Cheng Qian. He covered his yawn with a hand and sat still in place, waiting for his maid, Yu-er, to comb his hair.

Cheng Qian once suspected that his coquettish first senior brother was in effect a pheasant spirit with a colorful tail. But seeing the scene, he cast off the speculation — at this rate, even a real pheasant would inevitably become a tailless two-feet monster someday.

First senior brother still had a thick hair. This illustrated that he was only possibly some kind of more unthinkable animal.

In the yard, a Taoist child came over and presented a wooden sword to Muchun with both hands.

Cheng Qian and Han Yuan brightened into alert attention at once. They grew up hearing stories where immortals treaded on thin air and traveled on flying swords. Despite the fact that Cheng Qian was the victim of the saints’ books, he was essentially a little boy. There was a yearning for legendary powers to summon wind and call for rain in the cockles of his heart, however he denied that.

The wooden sword had an ancient simplicity, oozing some kind of historical heaviness. In boys’ world, bizarre alchemy, profound scriptures, the feat to learn one’s previous incarnation and prophesy his life beyond through stargazing, and even the ability to make powerful talismans… none of them could bear the comparison with the term “travel on flying swords” in terms of attractiveness.

What was going through the Heavenly Tribulation and ascending to immortality, compared with flying swords?

Even the magnificent feat of mounting the clouds and riding the mist would give its way to legends where the piercing chilliness could sweep across fourteen continents with the arc of a sword.

Muchun Zhenren moved his fragile arms and legs, and walked slowly to the center of the yard. He was as thin as a pole hung with clothes.

Full of expectations, Han Yuan asked what Cheng Qian felt embarrassed to ask. “Master, are you going to teach us how to use swords? When can we wield a sword?”

Muchun: “Don’t worry, I’ve got wooden swords for you.”

With that, under the public expectation, he flapped his arms and made an opening move infirmly. Then he started demonstrating every posture and movement, and at the same time, he muttered, “Fuyao — Wooden Swordplay — build your body — circulate Qi (Vital Energy) — stimulate blood flow — live to — immortality.”

Cheng Qian: “…”

His embryonic dream of controlling natural forces shattered in the “glint and flash of swords”.

Master’s “brilliant” swordplay soon attracted a sparrow to perch on the wooden stake beside him and look.

This was definitely the quietest swordplay in the world. The sword was too forceless to disturb the air a bit. Even a snail could climb up to the top of a tree during the time for the sword to sweep around.

Combined with their master’s enigmatic commentary, the effect was “impressive”.

With a stride, Muchun turned around, bent over and stretched out the sword in a sidelong way. Then he tottered to the sparrow on the stake.

The little sparrow was exceedingly audacious. He gazed at the approaching sword, his black bean-like eyes wide open.

Muchun warned unblushingly, “Little sparrow, mind out of the way or my sword will kill you!”

In actuality, his sword didn’t reach the sparrow’s feet until he finished long-winded sentence. Hearing the “ferocious” warning, the little sparrow lifted a foot in no hurry and stepped forward, exactly over the “sharp sword”, then watched the gentle sword image fade away.

Han Yuan had been rolling in the aisles. Cheng Qian also found it ridiculous — the martial arts that a street performer in his village practiced wasn’t so hilarious as the wooden sword. But he didn’t burst into laughter, for he found senior brothers didn’t — first senior brother was understandable as he was combing hair and it was inconvenient for him to bend double with laughter, while the toad-aholic second senior brother had certain reference value.

Just now Li Yun was like sitting on a bed of nails, but now, his face, which always appeared malicious, betrayed some attentiveness. His eyes were glued to his master, who was like a lama dancing to exorcise demons.

Their master performed the full set of the first form of Fuyao Wooden Sword, and ended with a posture as a roc standing on one foot. He stretched out his arms in line, held the sword and craned his neck as if he was gazing into distance. He stood unsteadily and said, “This is the first form of Fuyao Wooden Sword, the Roc’s Long Flight [3]!”

However, he didn’t look like a roc spreading his wings but was rather like a rooster crowing.

Han Yuan covered up his mouth, his simmered laughter reddened his face.

His master didn’t tolerate him this time. He hit Han Yuan’s head with the wooden sword — his move was yet much neater than just now.

“What did I tell you? Focus your thoughts! Don’t be frivolous!” Muchun Zhenren rapped. “What are you laughing at, huh? Unreasonable! Make five copies of Scriptures on Clarity and Stillness and hand it to me tomorrow.”

As Han Yuan didn’t know how to read, his copying the sect rules had been delayed. Hearing the sharp rebuke, he immediately adopted his last resort and said shamelessly, “Master, I can’t read yet.”

“Make rubbings and imitate the script — Li Yun!”

Second senior brother advanced.

“You take junior brothers to practice the opening move and first form. And I’ll give you guidance on second form later.”

“I’ve heard It’s been over a year since he was initiated, but he is only at the stage of second form. Did he spend the year practicing crowing like a cock?” Cheng Qian thought.

As he was surprised, Li Yun already stood stiffly, straightened his face and took up the wooden sword, then he performed a neat opening move, which surprisingly revealed the vigorous ambition of a young lad. His half-dead middle-aged master wasn’t remotely comparable to this vital youngster. This young man was named after green bamboos, and his posture was also like elegant bamboos. His sword emitted swooshes as it cleaved through the air, and the winds from the sword were fairly aggressive with great force.

That was the spirit of youth. Invincible spirit!

The little sparrow that was imperturbable just now panicked. He flapped his wings and spurted into the sky.

Before Cheng Qian and Han Yuan brought themselves back to earth, their second senior brother shouted loudly with a stern face, “Fuyao Wooden Swordplay! Build your body! Circulate Qi and stimulate blood flow! Live to immortality!”

… the youth swordsman turned into a power pill seller in an instant.

However, Li Yun didn’t feel an ounce of shame. Finishing the words, he even turned around and grimaced at his stunned junior brothers.

Notes:

[1] laodan: old female role in Chinese opera.

[2] Beauty Chair: a kind of Chinese traditional bench with lazy back which wins its name for being sat by beauties and leaned along their waist.

[3] the roc’s long flight: a roc can reach a destination of a myriad miles away at one jump — (said of those who) have bright future.