Chapter 54

With a clang, Yan Zhengming’s sword slips from his hand and falls onto the ground. He, a sword cultivator, isn’t even aware of how his own sword collides with his feet.

In the light of the setting sun, the person in front of him seems to be created by the demon of his heart. Every detail from the drawings made during cold nights comes to life, stealing one’s breath away. With one look, Yan Zhengming forgets everything else around him.

Maybe some other people, even if knowing that person has been lost, still lie to themselves and hold the hope of “reunion in another life”. However, Yan Zhengming isn’t like that. Back then, he buried Cheng Qian himself, in order to destroy any remaining delusion in his heart.

He always feels that he is already weak enough. There is no need to add to that.

Yan Zhengming can’t tell if this is reality or just a dream. He only feels as if he is returning to that day. Looking at the face that has been carved into his heart, together with a Han Yuan shrouded in black energy nearby, he feels as if he has returned to that wild island in the Eastern Sea, to the day he doesn’t want to look back at the most.

Yan Zhengming suddenly reaches out and grasps Cheng Qian’s shoulder. Not heeding the sword in the hand of the other person, he pulls Cheng Qian from the front to behind his back, pushing through all of his long-standing regrets, like he has been practicing that act countless times in his dream.

Of course Cheng Qian didn’t expect that the person who fought him was his sect leader and senior brother. He runs into Yan Zhengming all of a sudden even before he could get cold feet. As he stares dazedly, he awkwardly withdraws the shiny ‘travel expense’ sword, in order to avoid injuring his senior brother just as they meet again. Being grabbed by Yan Zhengming, he stumbles a few steps before regaining his balance.

As the Fuyao Mountain is hidden in the mystic site, the sect’s disciples, who are very close by, are shaken, or at a loss, or struggling, or crying.

Who could expect that, after a hundred years, the Fuyao disciples would reunite like this?

Being stuck between madness and calmness, Yan Zhengming resolutely suppresses all of his jumbled thoughts. Not looking back at Cheng Qian, he tells Han Yuan, who has changed to the point of being nearly unrecognisable, “You’re already here, so stay.”

Then, not sparing a glance at the chipped sword on the ground, he directs his spiritual energy to charge at Han Yuan like a blade. Numerous swords are formed in the air, casting heaven and earth in a white glare.

That demonic cultivator seems to have taken full control of Han Yuan’s body. He opens his mouth and lets out a cloud of dark fog. The dark fog turns into an eagle with a demon’s face. The eagle screeches and opens its wings, covering all of Han Yuan inside.

As the pressure from the sword wind increases, the human and the eagle seem to realise that there is no gain to be had from the day. Using whatever improper technique, they turn into fog and disappear on the spot.

All that is left is a figure made from white paper, the heart of which is pierced by an arrow, lying on the ground.

Han Yuan… That demonic cultivator has escaped, as the situation didn’t look good for him.

Yan Zhengming stands dazedly where he is, seemingly unable to gather enough courage to turn his head and look back. After a long while, he takes several deep breaths, then turns slowly like his body had turned into dust, and stares at Cheng Qian without blinking.

In this life, whether dead or alive, Cheng Qian has never avoided or run away from anything. However, in this moment of reunion after a long separation, his most senior brother’s gaze makes him want to hide.

Li Yun dazedly looks back and forth. It takes a while for him to speak like from a dream. “Xiao… Xiao-Qian? Wh- What is going on?”

Puddle swallows her tears and speaks brokenly. “Third Brother, I saw your sword move in Shuzhong, but when I arrived, you were already gone. I- I guessed, if that was indeed you, you would definitely return… But I wasn’t sure if I got it right, so I dared not tell other senior brothers…”

She hangs her head and uses the arm that is still wrapped in chains to wipe her tears, causing the chains to rattle. Choked by her tears, she is at a loss for words for a while, before speaking like a hurt child, “W- Why didn’t you wait for me?”

Cheng Qian’s heart, which seemed unable to be shaken by anything during the decades in the ice lake, is squeezed tightly. He can’t find the words to reply.

Yan Zhengming slowly raises his hand and lifts Cheng Qian’s chin. He feels cold to the touch, as if his body temperature is lower than that of a normal person’s. The sword Shuang Ren, which Yan Zhengming always carries with him, seems to sense something too. It gives off an anxious buzzing sound and shakes slightly. Yan Zhengming’s heart shakes as if there were an earthquake in it. He wishes to ask where Cheng Qian has been all these years, if the wound on his chest is still there, why he comes here, if he has been suffering hardships… He chokes on thousands, millions of words, his head becomes completely empty.

He doesn’t know how to start, because compared to the feelings in his heart, anything he says would feel shallow.

In the end, all those words tangle together and become a desperate plea. Yan Zhengming thinks, Is it real this time?

Cheng Qian slightly lowers his eyes to avoid Yan Zhengming’s gaze. He calls softly. “Senior Brother.”

“Hmm,” Yan Zhengming mumbles in reply. “You still...”

His voice is so weak, that he can’t continue after just a couple of words. The rest of the line is stuck in his throat; only his lips move. “You still remember me?”

Cheng Qian gently takes Yan Zhengming’s hand off, suddenly feeling hard to breathe.

The corners of Yan Zhengming’s eyes redden. “All these years, why didn’t you look for us?”

Cheng Qian doesn’t say anything.

Yan Zhengming suddenly withdraws his hand from Cheng Qian, and punches him in the stomach without holding back. Cheng Qian doesn’t avoid it. Taking the hit, he lets out a small cry, as the stench of blood swells in his mouth. Before he can swallow it down, the second hit comes. A mouthful of blood stuck in his throat, Cheng Qian falls down on one knee to the ground and coughs his lungs out.

It isn’t until now that Li Yun, who has been gaping, manages to wake up from his daydream. He hastily runs forwards and holds Yan Zhengming back by the waist. “What are you doing?”

That seems to spur Yan Zhengming on even more. He gives Li Yun an elbow. “Let off!”

Li Yun yells into his ear. “Have you gone mad?!”

With a voice hoarse like rusted blades clashing with each other, Yan Zhengming shouts. “Fuck you, I’ve been mad for nearly a hundred years!”

Cheng Qian’s ears are filled with a buzzing sound. There is no way for him to let it out.

He was in seclusion in the ice lake for more than fifty years. Furthermore, his memory was taken away by Tang Zhen. When his disciple brothers and sister wandered in exile, he was idle in his unknowing, his heart filled with an undisturbed calmness. As he thinks this, any spark of temper he has cools off, falls down, and becomes the ash of guilt.

Feeling both guilty and wronged, he has nowhere to grasp onto. His feelings seem to want to pour out along with the blood that seeps through his hand.

Cheng Qian suddenly senses that, he probably won’t be entangled so deeply with anyone else again in his life.

Puddle says loudly, “Have you had enough?!”

She opens her wings and shrugs off the chains on her body. Then she runs to Cheng Qian and carefully supports him. “Third Brother…”

Even the little brat that their family considered to be their mascot back then has grown up like this in the blink of an eye. Except for her wings that still look familiar, she has totally transformed into a girl that Cheng Qian doesn’t know.

As she gets close to him, Cheng Qian can’t help feeling a little awkward. Waving his hand, he moves away from her a little. No word comes forth from him; only his eyes reveal a faint smile full of embarrassment and nostalgia.

Yan Zhengming argues with Li Yun until he is exhausted, and finally manages to calm down. He dazedly stares at Cheng Qian for a long while. Closing his eyes then exhaling, he walks towards Cheng Qian. With just these couple of steps, all of the resentment and refusal to accept that he bears alone throughout the years, which he has no one to share, suddenly disperses like smoke.

It’s as if he finally wakes up from an endless nightmare.

Yan Zhengming pulls down the hand of Cheng Qian that is hiding his mouth, and carefully wipes clean the blood on his lips, asking, “Does it hurt?”

Cheng Qian hesitantly nods.

“You deserve it,” Yan Zhengming leans down and embraces Cheng Qian, putting his chin on his shoulder. He whispers in a low voice. “If you dare to leave home for so long again, I’ll kill you. A hundred years, Cheng Qian, it’s more than a mortal’s life…”

At this point, his hard fought for calmness completely disappears. Embracing Cheng Qian, Yan Zhengming laughs and cries loudly, as if to express the emotions of everyone present. In that situation, the rest of them forget their own feelings about the separation, and watch him worriedly, fearing that, after a sect leader that became a Lord Beiming and a sect leader that was a weasel, they’ll have a sect leader that goes mad.

… That would certainly be a good look for their sect.

The drama continues until midnight. Yan Zhengming finally calms down. As usual, Puddle makes a campfire. In the hot weather, her disciple brothers all avoid her.

Cheng Qian puts Shuang Ren across his knees and uses the cold from the sword to help him meditate and recover. Seeing that, Yan Zhengming quietly watches over him nearby.

Li Yun unhappily pokes at Yan Zhengming from behind and asks, “Sect Leader, have you recovered from your madness yet?”

Yan Zhengming reluctantly grants him a glance. He ruefully smiles with a touch of self-mockery. “Looks like it gets even more serious.”

With a ‘tsk’, Li Yun asks, “Why does it seem that Xiao-Qian is afraid of the heat? He wasn’t like that before.”

“Hmm?” Yan Zhengming’s face seems rather foggy as he asks, “Really?”

Li Yun continues. “I remember we buried him ourselves on that island. His breathing and pulse, everything stopped, but you kept delaying, until his body was completely cold, such that there was no way he could live. What do you think is going on?”

Yan Zhengming distractedly says, “I don’t know.”

Frowning, Li Yun follows the line of his reasoning. “Looking back, there was indeed something strange back then. Zhou Hanzheng was very powerful in the beginning, but as soon as Xiao-Qian appeared, his cultivation level seemed to be suppressed more than half. Do you think that was related to what has been going on? Hey, most senior brother, I have an idea. Can it be that when he was separated from us, Xiao-Qian met someone, or acquired something extraordinary, which saved his life?”

Li Yun’s wild guess more than half hits the mark. Unfortunately, no one appreciates his intellect, because Yan Zhengming doesn’t give any reaction, seemingly not hearing anything.

Li Yun can’t stand it anymore. He presses. “Most senior brother!”

“Can’t you wait until he wakes up to ask about these trivial stuffs?” Yan Zhengming impatiently swats Li Yun away. “How can I know? Cut it out, you’re so noisy. Go away!”

Li Yun: “…”

He finally understands that all of his sect leader and senior brother’s mind is being occupied by his Third Brother. It can’t contain anything else, so Yan Zhengming doesn’t care one bit about the whys and wherefores of what happened.

Yan Zhengming doesn’t pay attention to Li Yun anymore. He takes out a snowy white hair ribbon, which was apparently woven from the threads of the Saibei snow silkworms. It isn’t easy for the snow silkworms to survive. They can live up to three thousand years, but the silk yielded from one during all those years is only enough to weave a tiny piece of fabric. This kind of silk is cool to the touch, and can fetch an unimaginable price in the black market. Even “Money Hunting Young Master” Yan Zhengming can only find one ribbon, so he doesn’t want to use it so far.

He concentrates his spiritual energy on his fingertip into a very fine ray. Delicately like an embroiderer, he carves a puppet charm on the priceless hair ribbon. All of his attention is focused on this task, as if he doesn’t care about anything else. When he is done, he makes the ribbon fly to Cheng Qian with a flick of his fingers.

Li Yun takes a deep breath. “Most senior brother, can’t you calm down a little?”

With just a look, Cheng Qian scared the Golden Thread Cicada such that it dared not open its eyes. That means, he is already at the level of having formed his primordial spirit or even higher. At this level, when the cultivator is in a meditative trance, his awareness will be released, even if unconsciously. As a result, nothing can get close to him easily.

Li Yun can already a big pile of gold being smashed into nothingness in the air. He looks mournfully at Sect Leader Yan, and begins to understand what he meant with ‘even more serious” earlier.

Yan Zhengming says, “Shh, look.”

The hair ribbon flies quietly over Cheng Qian’s body. It gathers his hair, which became loose because of Yan Zhengming’s punches, and nimbly ties itself up without any obstruction.

This means, once Cheng Qian has entered a meditative trance, he won’t pay attention to the surroundings at all.

All kinds of expressions pass by Li Yun’s face. In the end, he sighs softly. “The sea has become land already, but why does it seem that he hasn’t changed at all?”

Yan Zhengming smiles. He closes his eyes sleepily and says in a low voice, “I really want to open the seal on Fuyao Mountain to go home.”

Hearing that, Li Yun says with a serious face. “Sect leader and senior brother, please don’t be impulsive. Does this look like a good occasion to you? They are watching us closely.”

Yan Zhengming’s lips curls slightly into a mocking smile. “Just a bunch of clowns. If they dare to come, I will make them unable to return. I delay opening the mountain not because of that.”

Li Yun has never heard Yan Zhengming talk about that. He even thinks that he has correctly guessed the reason. Hearing this, he can’t help being surprised. “Why then?”

“Because I can’t open it,” Yan Zhengming says casually.

Li Yun springs up. “What?”

“Behave, won’t you? You make a fuss out of everything,” Yan Zhengming annoyedly frowns. He continues. “The mountain seal in the sect leader seal has three layers of locks: ‘heaven’, ‘earth’, and ‘humanity’. The ‘humanity’ lock comes first. Back then, our Master used the spiritual energy of all five of us to make it. When I first saw it, I thought that since Xiao-Qian.... So I didn’t look closely at the ‘heaven’ and ‘earth’ seals.”

Li Yun: “…”

No wonder that, the first time his most senior brother used his primordial spirit to enter the sect leader seal, he emerged with such a terrible face!

Li Yun lowers his voice. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“What’s the point?” Yan Zhengming yawns. “I’ve been looking for a way to open the seal on the mountain. There is an awareness in the sect leader seal too. Although I don’t know the details, I can sense its existence all these years. I’ve been thinking, if one day my cultivation level is high enough to suppress the awareness in the sect leader seal, maybe I can force the mountain seal to open.”

Li Yun terrifiedly asks, “How strong will you have to be then?”

Closing his eyes, Yan Zhengming speaks rather carelessly, “The awareness in the sect leader seal is formed from the awarenesses of all previous leaders of our sect. What do you think?”

Li Yun: “…”

Yan Zhengming says in a low voice, “So there is no point telling you guys. It’s a long way yet…”

His voice keeps getting quieter, and becomes mostly inaudible by the end. Li Yun helplessly says, “To me, this ‘way’ can’t be called long. It’s practically endless!”

Yan Zhengming says nothing. Li Yun tiredly sighs, as he lies and looks up to the sky. He tries to console himself. “Xiao-Qian is finally back. Xiao-Yuan… it’s difficult, but it doesn’t mean that there is no way at all. We still have hope, don’t we?”

No one replies to him. Cheng Qian is quiet in his meditative trance. Puddle has curled up and fallen asleep next to the campfire. Fire is her element, so her hair doesn’t burn as it falls into the fire, the flame dancing on her dark hair like in a wild celebration.

In the mid-summer night, the buzz of cicadas makes the surrounding seem even more peaceful. On the night sky, the Milky Way is like a silky ribbon full of glittering stars that shine through countless turns of seasons.

The summer passes and the winter comes. Prosperity follows a time of hardship. Light follows darkness.

As Li Yun turns his head, he sees that Yan Zhengming has fallen asleep, his head leaning to one side. Yan Zhengming’s inner mind has been hurt by the extreme emotions. The area around his eyebrows reveals an exhaustion that hasn’t been seen for a long time, but the fog has been lifted.

In the end, there is still hope.