Chapter 36

Yan Zhengming feels as if all of his bones have turned to dust. In a moment, through all of his senses and instincts, he only feels the condescending gaze of Zhou Hanzheng, as if he were only an ant on the ground that isn’t worth talking about.

A few people run to him, who are most probably his disciples and servants. They hasten to help him stand up, but there is no strength in his legs, so their effort is in vain.

Yan Zhengming doesn’t know if he has passed out. He feels like he is in a dream, in which he hears the voice of his master. “Zhengming, you come from a rich family and have no experience of hardship or challenge. For a cultivator, that isn’t a good thing, so today I’ll give you ‘reflect’ as the precept.”

It is eight, no, nine years ago. Back then he newly joined Fuyao Sect and received his master’s teaching for the first time at the Hall of Ignorance.

Yan Zhengming had been lazy from a young age. He didn’t understand and asked back. “What do you mean, Master? What do you want me to reflect about?”

Muchun Zhenren said, “Gemstones or marble start out just like sand or rocks by the wayside. They undergo strong fire or extreme pressure to attain their qualities. Even then, they hide underwater or on the mountains. They have to be sought out from there and their rough outer layer removed to become something useful. Zhengming, you are the very first disciple of our Fuyao Sect. In the future when you encounter hardship, you should think of your heart as the jewel that the tribulations refine.”

Indeed, back then he even asked what “very first disciple” was.

His master replied. “The first disciple is the start of a lineage of inheritance. You’re someone who has no precedence. Nor will there be someone like you in the future in our sect.”

The stench of blood goes up his nose to his forehead, Yan Zhengming pushes away the arm of someone in front of him and pukes out some blood. He has no wish to know how miserable he looks. His face throbs, and when he touches it, he can feel dirt and gravel mixed with blood on his cheek and temples. His white robe has become the colour of dirt, the belt coming off and soaked with muddy water.

Yan Zhengming hears the voice of Zhou Hanzheng flying from afar. “You wish to make your start at our Azure Dragon Island. In the future you can become a sect and have your own disciples. Therefore I have to give you some advice. You have to work hard now. Don’t think that you can reach the sky with just a good name.”

The arm Yan Zhengming uses to support himself shakes. Anger and humiliation mix with each other like water and dirt, forming a swamp in which Yan Zhengming sinks. His self-hatred is even deeper than his resentment.

“Most senior brother, what’s wrong? Say something!” Li Yun shakes his shoulders.

Yan Zhengming’s eyes begin to focus again. He lifelessly looks at Li Yun, then Cheng Qian, then Han Yuan, thinking, “Master was wrong. Me, a jewel? I’m not even a rock. Just a puddle of mud that can’t even be used to build a house.”

Their master must have been senile. Why else would he have given the sect leader seal to Yan Zhengming?

Yan Zhengming feels the name “Fuyao” is like a range of mountains that he has to carry. Yet he is too tired to bear it.

“I…” He opens his mouth to speak, but he can’t say a full sentence, as if his mouth were blocked by bile.

At this moment, Cheng Qian raises his voice. He asks, “When are we leaving?”

The whole group are stunned to hear these words.

Yan Zhengming may run away as soon as the battle begins. Han Yuan and Li Yun may not be really determined. Any of them can say this line, but it shouldn’t come from Cheng Qian.

This third brother is an eccentric among the group from Fuyao Mountain. Everyone who has eyes can see that he focuses on cultivation to the point of caring about nothing else. Whoever opens the library for him can ask him to do anything. Why would he suggest leaving himself?

Han Yuan asks with a low voice, “Young senior brother, what did you say? Leave for where?”

“Fuyao Mountain,” Cheng Qian says coldly, “Let’s take our most senior brother back first. Except for the books from our library, I don’t want to bring anything back. I will go and hire a boat; give me some coins.”

As he says it, Cheng Qian walks to the other side of Yan Zhengming and carries him together with Li Yun. They lead the group to get out of the crowd.

“Wait, Xiao-Qian, listen to me!” Li Yun says with a low voice, “He is giving his lecture. There’ll be lots of pointers on cultivation. Don’t you want to stay and listen?”

“No. Stay if you want,” Cheng Qian’s face is expressionless, “I’m leaving. I don’t care.”

Han Yuan and Li Yun of course can’t stay by themselves. The lecture has started for less than ten minutes. They attract a lot of attention as they leave. Even Zhou Hanzheng’s eyes are focused on them. Unable to do anything, Li Yun has to turn and says to Zhou Hanzheng on the platform. “Left Guardian, please excuse us, our Sect Leader isn’t feeling well.”

Zhou Hanzheng waves his fan theatrically and says to Li Yun with a mocking tone. “Ah I see. Then tell your Sect Leader to take care of himself better.”

Then Zhou Hanzheng’s glance moves to Cheng Qian, who is turning his back to him, and drawls condescendingly, “That boy, ah, that boy who dared to hurt a person’s face, you’re nothing special, but your swordplay looked somewhat interesting. If you want to progress, you should come visit my subordinate and get tested. Maybe you can find some proper training for sword fighting.”

Cheng Qian keeps on walking as if he heard nothing. He carries Yan Zhengming without even turning back.

Han Yuan awkwardly looks at the dark expression on Cheng Qian’s face, uncertain if the younger boy really didn’t hear the offer. He lowers his voice and tries to intervene. “Little senior brother, that guy…”

Cheng Qian grits out the first swear word in his life, “Fuck him.”

Having no other choice, Han Yuan has to shut up and follows his disciple brothers.

Half the crowd in the clearing are watching them with mockery or amusement at their hang dog expressions.

A youth is afraid of nothing except being looked down on. This applies not just for Cheng Qian, but also Yan Zhengming, Li Yun, or even Han Yuan.

Li Yun turns away, crudely swiping the tears in his eyes.

When they’re about the leave the clearing on the mountain side that is used as the Lecture Hall, someone shouts loudly from behind them, “Stop!”

That person immediately rushes forward and blocks the boys’ path. She is no other than the charmless cultivator Tang Wanqiu.

Her desperate fight against the demon Jiang Peng helped Cheng Qian a lot. He once even thought that he should try to visit this self-willed cultivator named Tang if the sect stayed on the island for a long time. He didn’t expect that their stay would be so unpleasant.

At this point, his heart is filled with an anger that can’t wait to lash out; he has no good will even for Tang Wanqiu. When he sees that she is blocking their way, Cheng Qian takes off the sword on Yan Zhengming’s waist and raises it in front of him. He speaks with a pretty rude tone, “Tang Zhenren, what guidance do you have for us?”

Tang Wanqiu says harshly, “Are you considering the Lecture Hall a market where anyone can come and go as they wish?”

On the other side, Li Yun tries to suppress his temper. He has to squeeze his free hand and grit his teeth for a moment, before he can talk with a calm tone. “We have notified Left Guardian Zhou that we are taking our sect leader and most senior brother back to our place.”

Tang Wanqiu interrupts him. “Can that little fall make him disabled and thus need all of you to carry him? Do you need me to call a great palanquin with eight carriers for you?”

Li Yun falters, “We…”

Cheng Qian steps forward. Under the terrified eyes of Li Yun, he recklessly says to Tang Wanqin. “Step aside!”

Tang Wanqiu glances from Yan Zhengming and stops at Cheng Qian. She smirks. “Shame turning to anger. I get it, you are planning to run away from here? What a bunch of trash.”

Cheng Qian’s slowly unsheathes the sword a little.

As if not knowing what being reasonable is, Tang Wanqiu still doesn’t let them off. “What? Am I wrong? Aren’t you so ashamed that you want to give up?”

Cheng Qian aggressively draws Yan Zhengming’s sword, throwing aside the priceless scabbard without a care, and recklessly charges forward heedless of his disciple brothers’ shouts behind.

In the past half-year, Cheng Qiang practiced his swordplay ten hours a day. Even if he doesn’t make extraordinary progress, he can at least imbue his qi in the technique. Normally, he only uses a wooden sword so the power is limited. That day he uses a real sword for the first time, in addition to the move “The youth travels” in “The roc crosses ten thousand miles”, thus creating a killing intent without holding back.

Tang Wanqiu shouts, “Good attack!”

She doesn’t even draw her sword, using only the scabbard to meet the attack. Before the point of the sword even arrives, the difference between the two sets of sword energy can be clearly seen. Cheng Qian’s wrists immediately lose all feelings; a tear appears on his mouth’s corner. However, he doesn’t drop the sword; on the contrary, he changes the move to counterattack.

It’s a move from Seek and Pursue, “Return to the origin”.

The sound of metal clashing against stone is heard again. Tang Wanqiu flips her wrist, directing the scabbard to suppress the reckless move of Cheng Qian. The Right Guardian of Lecture Hall forces Cheng Qian to be down on one knee.

Li Yun cries, “Stop, Xiao-Qian! Most senior brother, quickly, tell Xiao-Qian to stop!”

There is no blood left in Yan Zhengming’s lips. His mind is a live wire, a voice angrily screaming in his heart. “You let a kid fight for you! What is the use of you keeping the sect leader seal?! What is the use of you living?”

However, his body can’t move as if frozen.

Wealth is this world is transient, the turns of events are unpredictable. Yan Zhengming feels as if his body has been cut open mercilessly with a knife, and all of his weakness and uselessness is pulled out for all the world to see, like rotten wood after the shiny gilt has been stripped off.

Tang Wanqiu doesn’t seem to mind. She laughs. “What? You still want to fight with me? Don’t the adults in your family teach you what “know your ability” looks like?”

Sweats drench Cheng Qian’s hair on the temples. He suddenly growls and uses all of his strength to turn the sword, the not-yet-fully-developed teenage bones making a cracking sound. As if not feeling the pain, he points the sword upward at the direction of Tang Wanqiu.

This is the move “All or nothing” in the third set of Fuyao wooden sword style, Not according to wish.

Tang Wanqiu’s bushy eyebrows drew together. The sword flies from the scabbard with a screech, flashing a light white as snow. That quick movement blows Cheng Qian a good distance away.

She puts the sword in the scabbard with a cold hmph. “No matter how hard-working you are, you’ll have to practice for a hundred more years to be able to fight me. But I don’t think someone who is scared before reaching the road like you will see that day.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Tang Wanqiu,” Cheng Qian says with a hoarse voice. He plants the point of the sword in the ground, recklessly stands up again, and wipes away the blood on his mouth corner.

When he thinks that he is all alone, he feels very free wherever he goes.

A human, whether climbing to the peak or falling into the abyss, is still a human. Whether his head falls off his neck, it’s just a tiny wound. Why does he have to be afraid?

However, he subconsciously feels that his body is full of pain. A touch is enough to hurt him to the point of wishing to die, which forces him to instinctively withdraw against his wish.

Cheng Qian looks at the person who is blocking his way with fury in his eyes. He grits his teeth, “I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of anyone.”

He tries to stand up several times, but falls down just as many times. His teenage growing body that seems a little thin in the big robe shakes, but there is no fear in him.

The way he shakes makes Yan Zhengming’s eyes blur for a moment.

Out of a sudden, Yan Zhengming shouts and extricates himself from Li Yun. He steps forward and carries Cheng Qian in his arms.

Are you indeed the useless mud? The questions of Yan Zhengming to himself repeatedly stab like a merciless knife in his chest. Do you want your sect to be a ‘useless’ sect that does nothing but hides on the mountain? Do you want your ancestral masters in the afterlife to be ashamed? Do you want the lineage that your master, who accepts lingering on in the body of an animal, defies everything to pass on to be ended for real?

He? The very first disciple of the lineage who has neither precedence or repetition?

Yan Zhengming breathes heavily for a while, his eyes seeing nothing but blood. Then he turns to Tang Wanqiu without any hesitation and stresses every word, “We don’t want to leave yet. Even if we leave, it’s not now.”

Tang Wanqiu just stands there unmoved like a rock.

Yan Zhengming carries Cheng Qian with some trouble and then walks past Tang Wanqiu.

Li Yun and Han Yuan hastily run after them. This time Tang Wanqiu doesn’t stop the group. She stands unmoving in her place like a pole. It isn’t until they have been far off that she expressionlessly redoes her messy hair, casting a lonely shadow.

A servant of the Lecture Hall who is on patrol sees her and hastily runs to her with a smile full of flattery, “Good day to you, Tang-Zhenren. Why don’t you join us? Zhou-Zhenren is giving the opening lecture.”

Tang Wanqiu doesn’t give him any regard. She doesn’t even look up. “One of the great shames of my life is to be on the same path as that guy.”

Having said that, she arrogantly walks off.

The way from the clearing on the mountainside that is used for the Lecture Hall to their accommodation seems to be endless. Tang Wanqiu actually held back in her attacks. Except for the arm he hurts himself in his stubbornness, Cheng Qian doesn’t have any injury. He only needs a good rest. However, he is quiet the entire time on the road.

In the end, as they reach the door to their building, Li Yun can’t stand it any longer and asks, “Most senior brother, what are we going go do?”

Yan Zhengming has absolutely no clue. He feels as if the road ahead has no end, but he doesn’t want his junior disciple brothers to see his helplessness. He tries to force himself to act as usual and say with a shrug. “Who knows. We will think as we make each step forward.”

Han Yuan doesn’t bother to be roundabout. He asks directly. “Most senior brother, when will we stop being pushed around?”

Yan Zhengming has no answer for this. He silently pats Han Yuan’s head and walks inside with a heavy heart.

Some people are probably born with the ability to bear the weight of many things in their minds, who can keep thinking about the smallest issue for several days. Unfortunately for Yan Zhengming, he is of a carefree nature. He lets the servants and maids leave and tries to make peace with his seldom heavy heart.

However, even as the sun has set, he is still losing the battle.

He knows well that he should practice his swordplay behind the building, or take up the burin, or finally meditate to build up his energy reserve, but he can’t find the calmness to do any of those.

Yan Zhengming is lost in the thousands of troubles in his heart, not knowing where to start. He sighs and looks up at the ceiling, trying to think of a way out for his sect. Unfortunately, in his short life, he has never paid attention to anything besides his appearance. No matter how hard he searches in his head, he can’t find anything.

His anger builds up and he is annoyed that he is unable to yell or destroy something to let it out.

At this moment, the door opens with a creak.

Yan Zhengming takes a deep breath and impatiently says, “Zhe Shi, didn’t I tell you that I want to go to sleep?”

“It’s me.”

Yan Zhengming is surprised into sitting up. “Copper Coin, what are you doing here?”

Cheng Qian is holding a small jar of ointment, which is probably used to heal the injuries from falling. Ever since he increased his sword practice by two hours, his body regularly smells of this mystery balm.

“I want to check your injuries,” Cheng Qian says simply.

Yan Zhengming falls into silence and lets him clumsily abuse the bruises on his body.

After Cheng Qian has tidied up everything and is about to walk off with the towel in hand, Yan Zhengming suddenly remembers and calls him back, “Xiao-Qian, don’t you have anything to ask me?”

Cheng Qian hesitates for a moment then says, “Today, when you fell from the platform, you called ‘Master’”

Having said that, as if uncertain how to offer his consolation, he awkwardly stands where he is, then tries to pat Yan Zhengming’s shoulders.

Cheng Qian realises that, as usual, he runs out of ideas as soon as he says anything. He sighs quietly in defeat.

Yan Zhengming says. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

Cheng Qian doubtfully looks at him. “So what then?”

Why don’t you ask, for example, which path our sect should take? Or when will the sect leader and most senior brother finally do something?

At this moment, Yan Zhengming realises just how Cheng Qian is different from the others. He has never cared what plan the current sect leader has, or hopes to rely on someone powerful to avoid troubles on Azure Dragon Island. If he is bullied, he increases the amount of time for sword practice. Whether the sky would fall or the ground would split apart, he only sees that path like a shining line in his heart.

“Our Master showed you the entire set of Fuyao Wooden Sword, didn’t he?” Yan Zhengming suddenly changes the topic.

Cheng Qian nods. “But I don’t understand the latter three forms yet.”

“It’s fine as long as you remember them,” Yan Zhengming puts on his outer robe and picks up the sword that has brought him countless humiliation. “Let’s go to the backyard. Help me record the full set of Fuyao Wooden Sword.”