Chapter 58

On the way back, they occasionally saw double-decker sightseeing buses. An Ning excitedly asked Qin Weihang: “Have you ridden one before?”

Qin Weihang watched a couple getting on the bus, then said: “This doesn’t go the way back.”

Since he said it like that, An Ning was suddenly a bit embarrassed. They came out to buy things, not to sightsee. Thus, he nodded with feigned understanding.

The double-decker bus was still at the platform. An Ning trudged forward, but then he suddenly heard Qin Weihang say from behind: “We can ride around for a bit.”

He stopped and looked back.

Qin Weihang stood there and looked at the sign. After confirming it, he said, “We can ride for five stops and then transfer to the subway.” Finally, he looked at him while lightly raising his eyebrow, “Wanna go on?”

After getting on the bus, the two went directly to the second floor. Climbing the stairs on the bus made An Ning feel that it was a fresh experience. On a cold day, there was no one on the second floor except for them. They just sat in a seat near the aisle. Two people were separated by the aisle, each sitting on one side. An Ning thought that it was really impossible for two boys to sit together since it was too strange, so they could only be separated like this. But this was fine—he could avoid his heart from pounding even more, and from having wild thoughts.

The bus slowly started, and Qin Weihang put one hand on the backrest of the front seat, lazily looking at the scenery below. His fluffy and wide jacket was unzipped in the cold wind, and there was a black T-shirt inside. When the wind blew, the shirt shook against his chest.

He was both cold and ardent; it was conflicting but also harmonious.

An Ning thought silently in his heart, you are looking at the scenery, while I’m looking at my scenery.

Even if such unrequited love has no results, so what? It is such a beautiful memory, so I don’t regret it at all.

The train ticket was for 10 a.m, so An Ning got up two hours earlier today. In the past, the people in the dorm would be getting up and washing at this time, thus it would be very lively. However, it was quiet from top to bottom right now. Qin Weihang was still sleeping on the bed with his arms under the pillow. He opened his eyes when An Ning came back from washing on the balcony. He was looking down at him sleepily, with drowsiness in his deep voice: “I won’t send you off then.”

An Ning nodded with guilt: “Sleep well.” Then he quickly said, “I will be back in about a week.”

Qin Weihang had already buried his head in the pillow again. His head was turned and he didn’t reply to him. An Ning wasn’t sure if he heard him.

An Ning left a bag of egg yolk pastry on Qin Weihang’s desk, then left with his luggage. The soreness of his hands was much better than yesterday. When he reached the door and was closing it, he looked back inside with a bit of reluctance. He saw Qin Weihang pulling up the quilt and covering his head.

He waited downstairs for class monitor Cao Zheng, who was going to travel with him. It should be a good thing that he will have someone to accompany him on the road home; at least Cao Zheng seemed to be really happy. An Ning on the other hand, couldn’t be happy. He felt that he had left Qin Weihang behind.

When they arrived at the train station, he called his mother while waiting for the train. He told her how long the train ride was and when he was going to arrive home. On the other side of the phone, his mother was a little surprised: “Ah? Weren’t you going to work?”

An Ning was stumped. He had previously told his mother that he would work part-time during winter vacation, but he meant that he might return to school sooner after he gets home. He didn’t mean that he wasn’t going back home.

He didn’t know what to say for a while, then he heard his mother say: “It’s fine. Come back if you want to. When you come back, go to your uncle* to get the key. Your Uncle Li and I are at your Uncle Li’s home. It will take a few days to come back…”

[*TN: The uncle mentioned here is the mom’s brother(his actual uncle) while Uncle Li is his mom’s husband. And the mom is saying that they’re at her husband’s hometown.]

His mother was still talking about something. An Ning saw a girl who was sitting across from him and was also talking to her family. He heard the girl repeatedly saying: “Geez, I don’t need you to come pick me up… I already said that you don’t have to pick me up…”

At that moment, the voices of the people in the waiting area suddenly seemed to increase by numerous decibels. He couldn’t hear what his mother was saying, and the call ended hastily and perfunctorily. The train station was still crowded, and for the first time in his life, he found himself actually feeling out of place in this turbulent crowd. Each time he had to convince himself that he should go back because there was someone expecting his return. This was the first time he suddenly realized that at the end of this trip, there was no one who was particularly expecting him to go back.

In fact, he was also the same. Compared with the home that he couldn’t fit into, he unknowingly had a place that he wanted to go back to; a person that he was more concerned about.

It turned out that the person who was expecting his return was not his mother.

Cao Zheng saw that An Ning suddenly tidied his things and stood up, so he asked wonderingly: “What’s wrong? If you want to go to the restroom, then you can leave your things here and I will help you watch…”

An Ning slung his bag on his back. He was thinking that he could turn back right now, and he didn’t even feel sad about it. He smiled and said to Cao Zheng: “I’m sorry, but I won’t be going back!”

Cao Zheng was shocked: “Ah?”

An Ning hurriedly strode, then came back and stuffed the bag of snacks in Cao Zheng’s hand, then said: “You can eat this while on the road. Have a safe trip!”

After completing the refund procedure, he almost ran out of the train station, joining with the people who had arrived in the city. He was clearly not someone who was coming back to his hometown, moreover, even the scenery in front of him was too unfamiliar, but his joy would not lose to the surrounding people that were going home. He liked this city—liked Qian Fei-jie, liked Yuan Xiaoye, liked Liang Shenghan, liked Xiao Pang, liked Senior Cai Qun, liked Tang Zi, and liked Qin Weihang.

This last ‘like’ was extraordinarily different.

Returning to school with his luggage, the lemon-colored dormitory building was no longer bustling as it did at the beginning of the school year; it was almost empty. When An Ning entered the building, he looked up and saw the manager uncle slowly cleaning the corridor by himself, so he greeted him happily. The manager asked him in surprise: “Why are you back again?”

“Oh,” he scratched his hair embarrassingly, “I won’t leave, I will stay at school for the New Year.”

He went three steps up the stairs, and the corridor was extremely quiet. Perhaps Qin Weihang had also left; he probably won’t stay in an empty dorm room all by himself. An Ning stopped in front of the door of room 606. In one hand, he held the steamed buns and soy milk that he bought at a breakfast shop, and with the other, he took out the key. Before he even opened the door, the door opened from the inside.

Qin Weihang stood behind the door, looked down at him, and asked, “Did you forget something?”

He asked calmly, as if he didn’t seem to be surprised by him showing up. An Ning blinked, “How do you know I was back?”

“I saw you from the balcony.” Qin Weihang said.

When he spoke, he was not very energetic. It was as if he was still drowsy and was not holding any expectations. An Ning held back the inexplicable trace of choking up, saying, “I’m not going back.”

Qin Weihang was obviously stunned. He stared at him and slowly frowned.

An Ning waited for Qin Weihang to ask why, but actually, he hadn’t thought about how to answer. However, Qin Weihang didn’t ask anything in the end. He only loosened his eyebrows and said, “Is that so?”

An Ning felt indescribable remorse in his heart. I left you all alone, but in the end, I came back with such an attitude. I feel like I have let you down, even if you don’t know the reason or care about my compensation.

The two people stood face to face for an unknown period of time before Qin Weihang opened the door and whispered: “Why are you just standing at the door…”

An Ning returned to this small dorm room with his luggage. He heard Qin Weihang closing the door behind him, with only the sound of the door closing echoing in the quiet corridor, locking the both of them together. His heart immediately returned to a steady beat.

Qin Weihang sneezed when he walked in. He seemed to have just got up because he was wearing too little. An Ning put the breakfast on Qin Weihang’s desk and looked up to see the quilt piled up on the bed.

Qin Weihang walked over, pushed on the bed twice, and then sat on the edge of the bed. He began to fold the quilt silently, his long legs hanging down. An Ning secretly thought, could it be that you won’t fold the quilt when I’m away? Such a refine guy, it shouldn’t be…

Qin Weihang sniffed when he lowered his head and folded the quilt. An Ning heard it and thought, you see, even if it’s you, walking around wearing those beach-style pajamas in the cold winter is still not good.

But Qin Weihang, who had a cold and a little red nose, was very cute.

Qin Weihang folded the quilt and got out of the bed. He saw the breakfast on the desk and looked back at An Ning, who had his head lowered and was taking out the luggage. He said, “Didn’t you already leave me with egg yolk pastries?”

An Ning made an “oh” sound, then he turned back and said, “Just eating that will be too dry. I passed by a breakfast shop and saw that it wasn’t closed yet, so I bought it.” His eyes swept across Qin Weihang’s legs; his slender and sturdy legs were exposed to the cold air. “You should hurry and put on a pair of pants. It’s really cold today.”

Qin Weihang faintly said “mm” behind him. An Ning emptied his backpack, and as soon as he turned around, he saw the loosened drawstring of Qin Weihang’s pants. He hurriedly turned back, pretending that he was still tidying his luggage. He stayed like that until the sound of the closet door opening, the sound of it closing, and the sound of him changing clothes stopped. Qin Weihang put on a black hoodie, pulled down his clothes, and walked to the balcony.

An Ning watched Qin Weihang pull a handful of hair back and lowered his head to wash his face with water. He accidentally turned on the faucet too much, so he immediately turned it down. Then he leaned down and covered his face with cold water with his broad palms for a long time.

This kind of familiar feeling was great, An Ning thought. He didn’t have to be sitting in the bumpy train for so long, didn’t have to worry about whether someone will be expecting him, and didn’t have to guess whether they will like the gifts he brought back. Moreover, he didn’t have to think about how to deal with the awkwardness of sitting alone and being neglected in the corner during the reunion dinner.

If it wasn’t for the fact that they were just friends and just roommates, he really wanted to say to this person: Qin Weihang, I will accompany you every New Year and every Spring Festival in the future, okay?