Since it really was in quite a sad state of affairs, I hurried out of the classroom to go study in the library instead. Now that itâs May, I pretty much spend all my time like this. I have neither cash nor people to hang out withâno club activities either. The only reason I have no one to hang out with is because I have no use for idiots and losers. But the fact that I donât hang out with smart or good-looking people is a huge dilemma! How did it come to this?!
Basically, the one thing I had going for me was time. I make optimal use of what I have, as one should.
Besides reading and studying, I play with my cell phone from time to time and mess around on mobile games. Since I abide by the principle of never paying a cent on games, when I run out of action points in a game I just study and read until they recharge.
Okay, Iâm good. I really do make excellent use of my time. Studying totally comes in handy in the future, so Iâm not wasting my high school life in the slightest. Iâm good, yep. N-No problem here, folksâŚ
I whipped my gaze towards the window in an attempt to rejuvenate my tired, leaden eyes. It was already evening.
The school building was probably vacated by now. Perfect. Time to do those service club activities Amane-chan shoved down my throat at lunch time. I mean, performing such a conspicuous activity out in the open would spell death in the jungle. The same thing went for the concrete jungle.
I left the library and walked down the hallway. As I climbed up the stairsâfirst floor, then second, then thirdâthe voices from the grounds became ever more distant. The human presence thinned out as well. They say that the air becomes thinner at high places, but isnât that because the air is too thick on the ground?
I came, I read, I ran away. When the air is thick, itâs even more suffocating. It makes me think idiotic things, like that Iâd gone on a different evolutionary path or something. Well, you know what they say about fools and high places. Only idiots get information, it seems.
Still, just who was it who came up with the idea of belittling people who aim high?
Obviously, someone who couldnât reach the sky. They could probably only derive satisfaction from looking down on those who climbed to the high places that they themselves could never attain.
For that reason, I didnât dislike the idea of approaching the sky, one floor at a time. That way, I can stay true to my conviction that detaching oneself from the world is the right thing to do.
Eventually, the sunset-tinted glass staircase ended at the landing in front of the roof. There was a door leading straight to the rooftop, but it was always locked, so students could not freely come and go.
This had to be the place Amane-chan was talking about.
Glancing around, I could see it was indeed a bit grimy. Dust balls had gathered in the corners, and buckets were strewn around the place. Oh, and the door of the cleaning locker featured a massive dent, as if someone had kicked it in.
When I tried to pull the locker open, it wouldnât budge, so I then decided to tackle the problem with force.
And at that momentâ
âAaaaaaaargh!â
A bloodcurdling scream rang out. With a frenzied rattle that seemed to shake the entire roof, the doorknob turned and the door swung open.
A female student sprang out like a jack in the box. I thought we were going to collide, but I somehow got out of the way, at which point the girl darted down the stairs in one leap without so much as a backward glance.
ââŚWhat was that just now?â
I thought crashing into another person leads to a beautiful romance. But that roar just now was a whole new level of strange, unheard of in daily lifeâŚÂ And holy crap, has no one been regulating entry to the rooftop? I wondered as I peered at the roof in trepidation.
The door was still ajar, having been flung wide open. Beyond it lay the slightly grimy mortar ground, perfectly level and secluded. Confronted with an unfamiliar scene, my feet stepped forward on their own accord.
A red, red sky.
The glow of the sunset was eerily beautiful, enough to make my hair stand on end. The cityscape appeared to be ablaze, and the sixty-story high-rise buildings resembled headstones dripping with blood.
Thoroughly shaken, I walked over to the fence. There, standing in a corner that had been just outside my vision until I drew near, was a girl.
Her bright red cheeks were dyed in the sunâs afterglow, and her jet black hair was like a ravenâs feathers, dissolving into the darkness of the night. The girl stood in the precipice between two worlds, receiving the sunlight in front of her and saddling the night behind her.
Chigusa Yuu was gazing at the sunset with misty eyes as a single tear rolled down her pale cheek.
Instinctively, I knew that I was not supposed to talk to her. For one thing, I have no idea what to say to a crying girl. For another, I have no idea what to say to a girl full stop.
More than anything, I could not bear to interrupt this utterly magnificent scene of a beautiful girl crying in the sunset.
As I drew back quietly in an attempt to leave the rooftop, Chigusa swung around like a flash and noticed me.
Silence.
Chigusa gazed at me with a blank and mystified expression, as if she had just discovered a masked palm civet in the middle of town (1). Meanwhile, tears continued to trickle down the corner of her eyes.
âH-HeyâŚâ
Making eye contact with someone and not saying anything is generally a bad idea. Having said that, spouting polite formalities at a younger person is even worse. However, talking like a Frenchman (âWhat ails you, mademoiselle? A weeping heart spoils this wonderful sunset.â) is equally stupid. Wait, that might be how an Italian speaks. In the end, the only thing that came out of my mouth was a grunt so devoid of meaning it made me want to crawl into a hole and die.
Chigusaâs expression didnât flicker. No reaction at all. She continued to look at me as if I were some kind of exotic beast.
A silence hung in the air between us.
âŚI recognise this. I recognise this vibe! Itâs like when Amane-chan cries at home!
Whenever you talk to a blubbering girl, they tell you, âIâm fine, so leave me alone.â However, if you leave them alone, they say, âWhy arenât you asking anything?â And if you actually do ask them whatâs bothering them, what they tell you is complete crap no one cares about.
They start off blubbering and end up jabberingâdonât be swayed by a girlâs tears.
In an attempt to leave before things got messy, I gave her my best meek-mannered smile, bowed politely in her direction and swung around.
Just then, I felt someone grab my blazer sleeve.
When I cast a glance sideways, Chigusa was clinging to my sleeve with her tiny hand.
ââŚâ
Her fingers possessed a silent yet steely resolve, holding fast to my sleeve unflinchingly.
âUmâŚâ I said as I peeled Chigusaâs fingers off me slowly. I was stunned at how long, pretty and slender her fingers were, but I forced down the jolt that went through me.
At times like these, one shouldnât respond too much.
I mean, women are delicate creatures. They should be handled with extreme careâtheyâre literally made of glass. Even if they do something wrong, one shouldnât treat them like a tumour. Women are sensitive about the way theyâre treated, so they burst into unnecessary hystericsâtheyâre literally marbles.
Yet Chigusa, undeterred, summoned the strength in her fingers once again and gripped me even harder. The way she looked up at me with those teary eyes almost stopped my breath.
Her thin shoulders trembled with anxiety, and a barely discernible sigh slipped past her alluring lips. Chigusa and I were so close that she wouldnât even have to take a step forward to fall into my arms.
âŚI wasnât about to fall for that trick, though. I had been schooled for seventeen years in my sisterâs âReal-life Horror Story: A Girlâs True Natureâ course. Not that it was worth any credits.
âUm⌠you can let go,â I said as calmly as I possibly could, all the while preparing to flee from this place.
But then a tear streaked down Chigusaâs face once again. âEr, umâŚâ she uttered. âY-You see⌠my friend hasnât answered my calls in ages⌠I donât know what to doâŚâ
âUm, thatâs notâŚâ
What the hell was she spouting? Was she really okay with saying all that? Regardless, Chigusa went on as if my voice had failed to reach her.
âItâs been three days and she hasnât answered my callsâŚâ
Wow, thatâs short. Hey now, itâs been over a month since I last made contact with my classmates. And weâre in the same classroom, damn itâŚ
âMaybe she has a cold, or the flu, or maybe family issuesâŚâ
âIf that were the case, she still would have answered my calls⌠She has always done that until now⌠so why nowâŚ?â Chigusa seemed to be holding herself back, but she still let slip a muffled sob.
âI see. I see how it is. Yep. That sure would weigh on your mind.â
From the way Chigusa was talking about it, it didnât seem like her situation would work out, so I remembered my sisterâs teachings and decided to hear Chigusa out for the time being. If Amane-chanâs case was anything to go by, a girl would be halfway done with her spiel at this point. The other half of the conversation was guaranteed to be bitching behind her friendâs back, yep! Damn, girls are scary!
Thatâs how it seems to be when it comes to friends and besties, though. When you fall out of contact with them, it weighs on your mind and you end up arguing with themâŚ
To be quite honest, I find it difficult to understand.
Keeping close contact with a friend and then starting a fight out of insecurity, or otherwise crying buckets over itâsuch actions have a way of taking over a personâs life, making âbest friendsâ little more than a formality. Iâm inclined to think of those actions as highly calculatedâritualistic, even.
Frankly, I think itâs ugly.
And yetâ
Those tears were beautiful.
Regardless of her intent, the sight of those tears melting into the sunset was captivatingly beautiful.
âWell, thereâs something.â
That was what I managed to come up with after fumbling my words. It prompted Chigusa to tilt her head and peer at me.
âWhatâs something?â
Whatâs something indeed? Donât ask something like that with such a cute face, damn it. This wasnât a modern literature question where you had to point to the correct answer, you knowâŚ
Still, I had a whole wealth of experience for times like these.
âGive it for one more day, and if she still hasnât called you, come talk to me again.â
Awwright, this was the âHuh? You want to exchange phone numbers? âŚOhh, uh, my cell phone batteries are dead right now, so Iâll text it to you later, okay?â strategy I learned from the first day of class. Just how did that girl plan to text me when she didnât know my numberâŚ?
Yet even those evasive words did not seem to deter Chigusa. Her eyes lit up. âWow⌠I-Is that okay?â
âYeah. See you later.â I smiled brightly and waved, prompting her to bob her head eagerly. Ahh, what a nice girl.
If I could speak, you would understand. Such fine words. The Prime Minister who said that was summarily murdered, for dialogue is useless. Maybe the guy who killed him was part of the cat faction. He really wouldnât get along with poor Inukai-san (2).
As the girl in front of me bowed her head, I quickly took my leave.
We would never meet again anyway. A pure and sweet young beauty like Chigusa Yuu had nothing in common with a lone wolf like Kusaoka Haruma.
I entered the school building, closing the door to the roof softly behind me.
TRANSLATORâS NOTES
(1) Masked palm civets are cat-sized mammals mostly found in rural Japan, although more and more of them have been discovered in urban areas in recent years. A number of recent high-profile confrontations between masked palm civets and humans in Tokyo have turned the animals into something of an internet meme. See for example:Â http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/11/16/police-called-in-for-civet-disturbance-in-tokyo/
(2) There are two parts to this joke. The first part is a reference to the May 15 Incident of 1932, when eleven young Imperial Japanese Navy officers shot the Prime Minister Inukai Tsuyoshi. Inukaiâs last words were roughly If I could speak, you would understand, to which his killers replied Dialogue is useless. This event helped spur Japanâs militarism, which led to the eventual Second Sino-Japanese War. The second part of the joke is that the âinuâ in âInukaiâ means dog. In Japan, lovers of dogs or cats identify as part of the âdog factionâ or âcat factionâ respectively, and these two factions are supposedly at war with each other.