308 ā What was accomplished
ćSensei! Please hang in there, sensei!ć
The first to move, was Yamada-kun. He immediately rushed over to where sensei had collapsed from her chair, and then checked her condition. Sensei was shedding tears with her eyes open wide, and while breathing irregularly and raggedly her body was also spasming irregularly. She kept trying to breathe desperately, but since sheās suffering despite that maybe the problem is that sheās hyperventilating? Sensei had collapsed on the ground and Yamada-kun lifted up the top half of her body in his arms, and then performed Treatment Magic. However, as the Treatment Magic in this world could do nothing more than restore wounded tissue, it could not cure sicknesses. While I donāt know whether itās appropriate to call hyperventilating a sickness, I do know that Treatment Magic canāt cure it.
As Yamada-kun could do nothing except to try casting Treatment Magic, I pushed him aside and looked into senseiās eyes. Then, I activated my Evil Eyes. I make them perform the opposite to their normal effect. My Evil Eyes have the effect of causing fear in those that see them. Meaning that they affect the mind of the opponent. Iāve not done it before, but if itās possible to cause fear, then conversely it should be theoretically possible to grant serenity as well.
As I peered into senseiās eyes with my Evil Eyes, her body performed one big spasm. However, after that the large spasms stopped. That being said, her breathing was still disarrayed and the small spasms hadnāt abated.
ćSensei, please calm down and take a deep breath.ć
So as to not provoke senseiās mind as much as possible, I spoke to her slowly and calmly. Sensei followed my words and breathed in.
ćLike that, without rushing, slowly, breathe out please.ć
Making it easy to understand, as if instructing someone, yet still calmly, I carefully formed the words.
ćBreathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out.ć
By having her slowly take deep breaths like this, little by little senseiās condition improved. During that time I grasped senseiās hand tightly. Although her breathing has become stable, the tears spilling down her face have not stopped. Also, perhaps because she was crying intensely, the occasional hiccup-like spasms continue. Her face is covered with tears and snot. I mop that up with the sleeve of my clothes. But, as soon as I mop it up they start spilling over again.
For a while, sensei continued to cry. As sensei is an elf her body matures slowly, so compared to the other reincarnators she seems very young in appearance. Simply going by her appearance, it doesnāt feel out of place to see her crying so badly like this. However, seeing her like this should be shocking for the reincarnators. Unlike the other reincarnators, sensei was the only adult. Contrary to her appearance, she has been alive for the longest amongst the reincarnators when combining her previous life and this life. For such an adult to show that she has gone to pieces so blatantly, is surely something they could have never imagined. Even I hadnāt imagined it.
ćIt is alright. It is alright now.ć
While running my hand over senseiās small back, I gently caressed her.
ćYou have not made a mistake.ć
ćTo risk your own life and fight for the sake of your students surely cannot be a mistake.ć
I could tell that at my words Kudou-san had averted her face feeling awkward. I might be looking at sensei, but since I habitually use my Fluoroscopy ability to understand everything around me, I could tell that much even though I hadnāt focused on her. I could tell that based on her attitude until now that Kudou-san had harboured suspicions about sensei. However, Kudou-san hadnāt been aware of just how desperate sensei had actually been, and just how hard she had struggled to save the students. And also, just how serious she was given how she had collapsed like this when she found out that Potimas had been gathering the reincarnators in order to use them. I had also misjudged her about the latter. I had never even considered that sensei could actually collapse. I had been convinced that sensei of all people could deal with knowing the truth.
ćIt is certainly the case that Potimas was unscrupulous. But sensei, you had honestly did your best for everyoneās sake, right? There is absolutely no mistake in that. Besides, everyone has been able to survive and meet together like this, right?ć
I gently spoke to sensei who hadnāt stopped sobbing. In practice, while it might be true that sensei was used by Potimas, it is still the case that many students have been saved by sensei. Unlike Earth, this world is a harsh place. I have no idea how many times I almost died, and Iām sure that vampire girl and oni-kun had the same experience. So despite all that, we were simply lucky. It wouldnāt have been strange at all for us to have died. The other reincarnators would surely also have faced living each day with death always at their side, unless they had been born to some privileged class like Yamada-kun and the like. If by some chance they hadnāt been sheltered by sensei, there might have been only half the number of survivors here instead. And so, itās precisely because she had assembled the reincarnators here in the elf village that it became possible to safely defeat Potimas. It turned out alright in the end, so sensei doesnāt have to worry about all that.
ćItāsā¦ notā¦ everyone!ć
Sensei shouts that while crying.
ćIā¦ couldnātā¦ saveā¦ them! Iā¦ couldnātā¦ saveā¦ themā¦ all!ć
Her way of shouting made me think that this is probably whatās called āwailingā. While crying, her broken voice never became loud. Yet despite that, why does her voice resound so much?
Certainly, there are some who are not here. Sakurazaki Issei. Kogure Naofumi. Hayashi Kouta. And finally, Natsume Kengo. Apart from Hasebe-san who is sleeping, those are the reincarnators who are unable to be here. The reincarnators that we can never meet again.
It seems that sensei feels responsible for their deaths. Thereās nothing that I can say about that though. However, I do think that to take responsibility for that, is basically barking up the wrong tree. Their lives are their own. And so, their deaths are also their own. I donāt think that sensei needs to take the blame for their deaths. Perhaps sensei thinks that she could have saved them, but there are things that humans can do and things that they cannot do. To assume that they could all have been saved is an arrogant notion. Unless you are all-knowing and all-powerful, you would never be able to save them all. Even I couldnāt have done it.
Afterwards, sensei continued to sob like a child. āWhyā, āI couldnāt save themā, ājust what forā ā sensei murmured such things as if talking in a delirium. In the end, I donāt know how much time passed, but sensei finally stopped crying. However, her eyes were somehow hollow and felt lifeless.
Kushitani-san spoke to me, after having silently watched over the course of events.
ćIt seems that sensei is tired, so Iāll put her to bed. We shouldnāt burden you any further at least. Iāll watch her, so continue the discussion.ć
That proposal, was something I both wanted to hear and didnāt want to hear. Right now, it would be bad to leave sensei alone. I would prefer to watch her myself, but Iām not sure if it would be for the best for me to leave here to nurse sensei. Kudou-san and the others have all sorts of thoughts with regards to sensei Iām sure, so I cannot leave her to someone with such mixed emotions. On that point, since Kushitani-san came to the elf village recently, she should be able to watch over sensei without getting caught up in her emotions. Sheās also one of the few reincarnators who are able to fight, so there is nobody better to entrust this to than her. Vampire girl is out of the question for a start, and oni-kun is basically a man so Iām sure he be unsuited for nursing sensei.
ćCan you take care of her?ć
Kushitani-san carries sensei in her arms. After gazing at Tagawa-kun, Kushitani-san went up the stairs like that. Kushitani-san is dependable, so Iām sure itāll be fine to leave things to her. Even in the worst case that sensei tries to kill herself, Kushitani-san should be able to stop her.
After sensei and Kushitani-san left the scene, the room was filled with an uneasy atmosphere. From having seen senseiās state just now, they surely understand just how serious sensei was about wanting to shelter the reincarnators. Starting with Kudou-san, the reincarnators who had been sheltered, had condemned sensei instead. Having seen sensei become like that, perhaps they have a guilty conscience.