During class I felt nauseous and hastily covered my mouth. Because Iāve been throwing up all the time recently, goshujin-sama has been muttering things like āpuke girlā all the time. I donāt want to be called something so disgraceful.
ćSophia, is it happening again?ć
While Iām desperately trying to hold back my vomit, the prince-like Waldoās face shows up right in front of me. Thatās when I reached my limit.
Iām now lying down on the bed in the school infirmary. Since I was scolded by Merazofis, Iāve frequently been in the care of the school infirmary. Itās not that my physical condition is poor, itās completely a mental problem.
Starting with Waldo, itās painful to even face the boys I had used Charm on. I donāt even know how I could dare to interact with them in the first place, as until recently I could only see them as my natural food, but I canāt do that anymore now that I regained my awareness as a human. Including my previous life, I have not had proper contact with others after all. Much less with boys.
Iāve already crossed the line so even I am wondering what Iām saying myself, but this is something I cannot avoid. The me at that time could only see them as things. I had no awareness of them being people. I used Charm on them as brainwashing and I treated them like things. Even if I do say so myself Iām the worst.
Because Iāve realised that, Iāve been completely avoiding them. The Charm skill in the set of Vampire skills, unlike the stand-alone Charm skill, is not actually that powerful. The reason why I was able to completely control them, was because there was just such a big difference in status values. However, now that Iāve stopped Charm and am keeping my distance, even they should be regaining their consciousness. Several of them have been able to separate from me already.
Yes, several of them. The problem lies with the ones who are still trying to get involved with me despite being cut off from Charm. Waldo is one of those. I donāt know what his aim is, but just by getting close to me I get anxious, so I wish heād stop.
Just when things were starting to settle down, when I no longer seemed likely to be vomiting, goshujin-sama dropped a bomb on me. What the heck? The destruction of the world? And how to stop that? Even if you suddenly tell me about all that, what are you asking me to do? I really donāt have time for all that, so if you suddenly disclose a big problem to me on top of that, thereās nothing I can do about it.
The Divine Word Religion is certainly something Iāve thought about. If not for the war with the Divine Word Religion, my parents would never have died.
However, if you asked me if they would have been happy otherwise, I cannot give an immediate answer. I recall Merazofisās words. Then, I wonder to myself, āWould my parents be proud of me as I am now?ā The answer is, no. To them who were human, my way of life as a vampire is definitely not something that they could accept.
Then, if that war had never happened and I had been living with my parents still, what would have happened to me? Would I have been able to hide being a vampire and been able to live like a human? I donāt know. This is just a hypothetical argument after all, and with my meagre imagination not a single idea of such a scene comes to mind. No matter what I imagine, all I can come up with is my guise as a vampire.
At the end of the day, the truth of me being a vampire wonāt be overturned. That it wonāt overturned, is undeniable. There is no other way for the current me other than to be a vampire, something that Iāve accepted deep down. To put it bluntly, if I was asked whether I can still return to being human, I could never assent to that.
If the System goes away, my skills should also be lost. At such a time, my vampire skill would also be lost. Then, I would no longer be a vampire? I would become a mere human?
No thanks! That would no longer be me. Iām a vampire, so if Iām not a vampire then Iām not me.
However, if the System is not destroyed then the world will end anyway. If the world ends then Iād be dead too. Either I die, or I stop being a vampire.
Thatās, not really a choice. What can I do then.
Due to lack of sleep my consciousness has become dim. Even though I have Faint Resistance, thereās still limits. Thanks to Sense of Pain Nullity I can ignore my bad physical condition somewhat, but since blood is mixed in every time I vomit itās certain that I have a perforated stomach. Even if I say so for myself, my brain has totally gone to mush.
Ahh, I want to drink blood. Since then I havenāt drank a single drop of blood. Iām a True Ancestor, so even if I donāt drink blood I wonāt die anyway, and my status values wonāt drop either. However, itās a matter of my feelings. If I donāt drink blood, then itās like a human who subsists only on raw nutrients. Though you can live that way, thereās no joy. Even if thereās no influence on my status values, if I donāt drink then I get irritated and canāt settle down.
ćFeeling any better?ć
It was only when I was spoken to that I noticed that there was a person next to the bed. Even if I feel bad thatās so careless of me.
I reply while pretending to be calm. When I look up, as I expected, I see Waldo.
ćThatās a lie. Nobody would accept that when you have such a pale face.ć
Waldo leans forwards and looks into my eyes. Not only that, but he puts his hand on the bed, as if to block me from trying to escape.
ćWhat do you think youāre doing?ć
ćDonāt you want to drink blood?ć
I couldnāt avoid twitching in response. Iād was actually thinking that just now after all. That after Waldo has been cut off from my Charm, it seems that heās noticed my real identity.
My throat gulps. The boy in front of me seems like heās a sweet and delicious fruit. Due to my enhanced five senses, the scent of Waldoās sweat, his slightly raised body temperature, and even the sound of his racing heart can be heard. Even though heās cut off from Charm, it seems that Waldo is still weak to me.
ćIf itās you, I donāt mind giving you everything.ć
At those words my rationality burnt away.
ćNow Iāve really done it.ć
Rather than returning to the dormitories, weāve snuck out from the campus and come to the mansion where goshujin-sama stays.
ćIām feeling really refreshed.ć
Waldo smiles widely while saying that. Out of his mouth, long canines are peeking out. Yeah, Iāve really done it. In my overenthusiasm I sucked too much blood.
If your blood is sucked by a vampire then you become a vampire. That being said, just being sucked is not enough to turn you into a vampire. To become a vampire, then either the vampire who is sucking the blood has to think about wanting a retainer while doing the bloodsucking or you must expire after a lethal dose of blood is sucked. Either of those requirements must be satisfied. In this case, because I hadnāt done any bloodsucking for so long, I accidentally sucked too much blood. Thanks to that, Waldo is now a proper vampire.
ćYouāre the son of a noble family arenāt you!? If you become a vampire, thatās obviously going to be a problem!ć
What the heck am I doing by piling on new problems when Iām already inundated with problems!? Argh, really!? What should I do!?
While Iām writing in agony, I was kicked by goshujin-sama. I want to cry.