chapter 6

Epilogue

As I gazed at the capital of Elroad, which trailed further and further away—

“Hey, in the end, we really didn’t do any real sightseeing or fun things did we?”

Murmured Aqua. She sat in the backseat of the carriage, whilst hugging her knees.

“The heck are you saying? Out of all of us, you have the highest likelihood of causing a mess wherever we go, so what the heck are you saying?”

“Hey wait a moment you bed-creeper NEET. If I had some more allowance this trip, I would’ve been able to enjoy myself much more. After we get back to Axel, increase my allowance! If you do that then I’ll take cooking duty for one day ok?”

This girl…!

“What did you say just now!? Did you just call me a bed-creeper NEET!? I have zero interest in you. How long do you think we’ve slept together in the stables? I didn’t do a single thing to you back then!”

“Weren’t you making those all those rustling sounds!? I mean, you slept next to a beautiful young woman like myself right? There’s no way you didn’t have any sexual fantasies, you lying NEET!”

This bitch!

Having reached my boiling point for the first time in a while, I – without a care for the moving carriage – walked from my seat next to the driver, to where Aqua was.

Now, how should I make her cry?

Seemingly detecting the incoming danger, Aqua raised her hands to surrender.

It’s too late for that.

As I was about to chastise her—

“Ahahahaha-!”

Iris, who sat beside Megumin, suddenly began to laugh in a strange manner.

“Ahahahahaha-! Ahahahahahaha-!”

Dumbfounded by Iris’ laughing, I reluctantly sat down beside Aqua.

“If you want me to forgive you, then take cooking duty for this week alright?”

“Sure, but be prepared to eat nattō three meals a day okay?”

Iris looked at Aqua, who didn’t seem to have reflected at all.

“Every day is really fun when you’re around, onii-sama. Thank you for accepting this bodyguard request.”

And showed an innocent smile.

“No, it’s fine, I had a lot of fun of as well. The things that shocked me the most is that other than Iris, who has been with me for the shortest time, everyone else failed to see through my imposter. What the heck is wrong with you guys? How long have I been with each of you?”

Then, suddenly, a voice of protest came from the direction of the driver’s seat.

“Wait Kazuma, I had-, only I saw through you! I was tricked at first, but I confirmed that it wasn’t you immediately after that you know!?”

“You’re really not any better. Remember what you tried to get that imposter to do? That guy was actually slightly taken aback by what you did wasn’t he!?”

Megumin and Aqua abruptly turned their eyes away.

“I said this to prince Revi before, but I have confidence in my ability to judge people you see?”

Iris showed a confident smile.

“Hey Iris, whenever you admire Kazuma by calling him ‘onii-sama’, your eyes are always clouded you know?”

“Oh, says you, the self-proclaimed ‘cloudless’ Aqua-san. You couldn’t even see through the disguise of a monster, so what should you be called now? Huh?”

As Aqua covered her ears, and pretended that she didn’t hear anything, I remembered something, and took it out of my pocket.

“Right. Iris, you were working the entire time so you didn’t get the chance to visit the town. It’s cheap, but I bought you a gift.”

I took out the small ring for children that I bought in town.

It’s just a cheap, 400 eris item. It’s a shame, but I forgot to go look for something a bit more expensive during our time there.

I thought that my cheap gift might be rejected, but Iris opened her eyes wide at the sight.

“Really? May I really have this?”

“Yeah, I mean, the ring that you always wore is gone now, isn’t it? The white mark there is really noticeable, so I wanted to buy you something to replace it.”

She, with utmost care and importance, received the cheap ring with both of her hands.

“Kazuma Kazuma, do you not have something like that for me as well? I’m a girl of marriageable age, so if you give me something like that, I wouldn’t be dissatisfied either.”

I took out what I arranged for Megumin, who hurriedly rushed between Iris and I.

“Here, this is an Elroad rice cracker. Actually, this is was more expensive than Iris’ ring you know?”

“…………..”

Megumin received the rice cracker bag with both hands.

Ignoring Megumin, who started eating the bags contents with a mixed expression—

“Kazuma-san Kazuma-san, what about me? Do you have some gift for me?”

“As for you, I have this rock that looks like it’s blended with gold. I discovered it during our Dragon subjugation in the gold mines.””

I handed the rock that looked like gold ore to Aqua. She accepted it without any complaints, and wordlessly stared at it. Was she pleased?

Darkness, who was in the driver’s seat, occasionally stole glances towards me.

Since you’re driving, yours comes later.

Rather, now that I think about it, you guys are different from Iris. You all had the chance to go out to town to play around however you like, so wasn’t there ever a need to buy gifts for you guys?

As I was thinking about this….

“Heh-, Ehehehehe…”

Iris, who stared at the ring like some important treasure, suddenly began to giggle.

“Onii-sama! Ah, no… Erm, uhm…”

Iris, who attempted to say something, suddenly took a deep, resolved, breath.

“Thank you, onii-chan!”

Saying that, she showed a wide smile—

Author’s Afterword

First, allow me to thank you for buying the tenth volume. I am Akatsuki Natsume, who – in the more-than-one year since I’ve moved to Saitama – has basically been a shut-in.

Even though I’m finally living thirty minutes from Akihabara, I really haven’t fully enjoyed the city.

I’m not really especially busy you see? I just waste a lot of time at home playing games.

However, for some reason, I’m living more like a sage than when I was still living in the mountains.

I think that this kind of author’s-situation-update is pretty pointless, so let’s talk about something else.

Right now, ‘Continued, Gifting this Wonderful World with Explosions’ is being serialized on the Sneaker Bunko’s home page, Sneaker WEB.

A while back, there was a popularity poll that was held with the anime-adaptation, and I began to plan a side story based on the character that won first place.

At first, I was only thinking about writing a bonus short story, but I never thought that there would be this many votes. I thought that ‘If it’s just a couple pages, then people’ll get angry wouldn’t they’, and began to quickly work on the web serialization.

As a result, Megumin, who won first place, got her second spin-off. For those interested, by all means, go ahead.

Also, right now, there are also a lot of mangas – The main story and anthology in Monthly Magazine Dragon-Age, The explosion series in Monthly Magazine Comic-Alive, and the 4-koma in Web Comic Clear – currently serialized. If you’d like, please read those as well.

This volume was about the little sister that we haven’t met in a long time, but the problem children group is set to make a reappearance next volume, so please look forward to it!

That said, this volume was able to be released without any troubles thanks to the help of the illustrator Mishima Kurone-sensei, the man-in-charge S-san, designer-san, proofreader-san, marketing-san, and a large number of other parties that were involved.

Each and every single one of them has my appreciation for their contribution in the creation of this book.

Above all, I’d like to gift all the readers who have this book in hand, with my sincere gratitude!

Akatsuki Natsume

From the Digital Special Edition:

Side Story: The Goddess, Working Hard.

Eleven in the morning.

Aqua teeter-tottered down the stairs, still dressed in her pajamas. Perhaps she was still sleepy.

Then, Aqua laid down on the sofa and watched Megumin, who was on cooking duty today, prepare our lunch, which doubled as her breakfast.

Despite her apparent sleepiness, she gobbled twice the amount of food than everyone else, and returned to her position on the sofa.

She placed Emperor Zell on her stomach, and began her afternoon nap.

One past noon.

After completing her afternoon nap, Aqua returned to her room and changed into her usual outfit.

In any case, it seems that she was planning to go out on a walk, since she had free time.

She begged Darkness, who was drinking black tea and reading a book, for extra change.

In exchange for dish-washing duty tomorrow, Darkness, whose reading was disturbed, gave Aqua some spare change.

Two past noon.

For some reason, an elderly man that lived nearby paid their respects to Aqua.

It was the gramps that was famous for loitering during the night. This might be dangerous, I suppose.

Aqua, who was happy after being worshipped, casted ‘Heal’ on the gramps and went on her way.

Noticing a cat that was curled up and sleeping, she stared at it, and stood still.

Although it seems like she wanted to pet the cat, she seemed to have abstained from doing it due to Chomusuke’s usual rejection.

‘It would be pitiful if I woke you up, so I will let you go this time’ she boldly announced to herself. Then, nodding her head in satisfaction, she left the area.

By the way, the cat had been woken up by her loud voice.

Three past noon.

As the bell which indicated the passing of the hour rang, Aqua continued to walk around doing nothing in particular.

Spotting a crepe stall, she immediately used the money Darkness gave her a while back to buy a crepe.

Despite eating so much not so long ago, it seems like she’s still planning to eat more.

It was possible that she treated ‘a mid-afternoon snack at three’ as a mission of sorts.

Then, she arrogantly announced that ‘Today’s crepes are not bad’. It seems that she was a regular at this crepe store.

Also, it seems that the she was given some of the leftover uncooked batter from when the crepes had been cut.

Happily biting into her crepe, she continued on her way.

Three-thirty past noon.

Aqua barged in on a group of children that were making sand castles in the park.

Using ‘Create Water’ to wet the sand, she crafted a one-to-one scale sculpture of a goblin.

With a childish and triumphant expression on her face, she received praise from the children for her goblin creation.

I couldn’t really tell who the child was, but – seemingly satisfied from the praise – Aqua told the children that ‘Modify it, destroy it, do whatever you like with it’ and left.

By the way, the goblin was immediately destroyed by the dropkick of a mischievous child.

Four past noon.

Splashing her way into the town’s fountain, she picked up a coin as though it was the natural thing to do.

Although the passing policeman, who warned her about her activity, should be the ones to be angry, she was the one who got angry instead. Saying that ‘the money that’s thrown in the fountain is an offering to me, the one who controls water’, she started a fight.

Seemingly understanding that Aqua was an Axis cultist by her words and actions, the policeman said ‘alright alright I get it’ with a displeased expression on his face, and quickly fled the scene.

It seems that he wanted to keep clear of trouble.

Four-thirty past noon.

Within a few minutes of entering Wiz’s Magic Tool Store, Aqua left.

Following shortly after her, Vanir threw salt towards her. It seems that she was guilty of something and was driven out.

Pointing directly at Aqua’s face, Vanir said something, and returned to the store. Then, the person who had been told something casted magic on the door.

The door began to shine with white-light. It would appear that she casted some sort of barrier on the door in order to vent her anger.

Vanir, who was in the store, began to shout something, but Aqua covered her ears, pretended to not hear anything, and ran away.

Judging from the refined process, it seems that this was nothing new.

Five past noon.

Continuing to wander the streets, Aqua was thanked by a fish store owner for using ‘Create Water’ to make pretty-looking water for the fish, and then, she angered the alcohol store owner by peering into the one of the alcohol barrels.

It seems that she was quite familiar with the shopping street. She would greet the store owners, and be complimented for filling the water bottles with pretty-looking water. In any case, she seemed to be in a good mood.

She chewed on the dried squid that was given to her as thanks, and finally arrived at the Eris’ cult’s church.

Continuing to chew the dried squid, she joined the line for the distribution of rations to the poor. It seems that she was a regular here as well, and the Eris cult’s priest sighed as she gave a piece of bread to her.

Then, she reentered the line again and again, and took bread again and again.

Finally, after being scolded and told to stop, she went off on her way, now, with a large amount of bread.

Six past noon.

Arriving at the Axis cult’s church, Aqua began distributing bread to passersby alongside Cecily.

‘The Eris cult is not the only ones who distribute rations to those who are less fortunate. The Axis cult does so as well.’ Axis cult this, Axis cult that. She cried out such things.

…Having confirmed this much, I thought that I didn’t need to do anything more, and returned home.

“—Hey Kazuma, listen to me. Today I did a lot of good deeds that are befitting of someone with a holy job, you know? I was worshipped by a grandpa after casting heal on him, I was praised by children, I sealed the store where a devil is living in, I was thanked by the people in the shopping street, and I performed welfare activities with the church. For my commendable, hard work, could I have some change…”

“To answer the question ‘what the heck do you do on a daily basis’, I observed you since this morning using my ‘Hide’ skill you know!? There’s no way in hell you’re a goddess, right!?”

From Gamers’ First-Print Limited Edition

Side Story: The Princess, an Adolescent.

The great nation of Casinos, Elroad.

For one reason or another, despite being Iris’ bodyguards, we were currently staying at a rather classy hotel.

And at a corner of the hotel, in Iris’ room—

“—So Lalatina and I are acquaintances from when I was still a child. I admired Lalatina like a sister, and I often walked behind her.”

Sitting on a nearby chair, I joined Iris and Darkness as they talked about the past. They were in their pajamas and sitting on the bed.

“When I was still living in the castle, right? How nostalgic… When Iris-sama was still unable to speak well, I remember playing horsey horsey with her to get her to stop crying somehow…”

Saying that, Darkness showed a nostalgic, warm smile.

“Just curious, but ‘horsey horsey’ has nothing to do with your special interests right?”

“Don’t defile Iris-sama and I in your mind! Even I had a time when I was pure and innocent, ok!?”

Darkness glanced in my direction with a vexed direction.

“…A-, Are you saying that you’re no longer pure or innocent…?”

Towards my abridged reply, Darkness grabbed ahold of me.

“I’m saying that I’m no longer pure or innocent because of the various things that you’ve done to me! I’ve been seen naked by you. I’ve washed your back. I’ve been tied up by you, and now that I think about it, you’ve even taken off my underwear…!”

“EEEEHHHHH!?”

As Darkness angrily rattled on, Iris reflexively cried out.

“Geez you, what are you blurting out in front of Iris all of a sudden. Geez, as usual, your mere existence is a detriment to child education.”

“Y-Y-Y-Y-, You’re mistaken! Iris-sama, that was just a figure of speech of sorts, so…!”

Darkness, who was now exposed, began to panic.

“N-, Now that I think about it, onii-sama told me about this before, that there was a time where Lalatina washed his back…”

“What have you been teaching Iris-sama!? Oi, how much did you tell her!”

Hearing what Iris said, Darkness continued to dig her own grave.

‘How much did you tell her?’ she says. That’s basically the same as confirming everything that I’ve said.

“Ah… Lalatina, the Lalatina which I once admired as an onee-sama, has become an adult before I realized it. She’s going to a faraway place now, isn’t she…”

The eyes which once looked at her as a sister, were now looking at her as an adult woman. Darkness could not hide her bewilderment.

“You’re mistaken, Iris-sama! Despite what this man has told you, I’m sure that most of it was just accidents and…!”

“What do you mean by ‘accidents’? Just a little while back, you told me that you couldn’t take off your panties, and in the private space of the bathroom, you even told me to take off your underwear.”

“Kazuma, I’m begging you, just don’t say anymore!”

Witnessing our conversation, Iris began to giggle.

“I-, Iris-sama?”

To Darkness, who was perplexed by the turn of events, Iris happily laughed.

Seeing onii-sama, who I think of as a brother, and Lalatina, who I think of as a sister, fighting like this, it feels like a sibling scuffle.

Dumbfounded, Darkness and I reflexively turned to meet each other’s gaze.

Since Iris wasn’t able to see her brother often, and doesn’t have any other siblings, she probably didn’t get the chance to have a sibling scuffle.

Darkness, seeing Iris’ warm smile—

“Iris-sama, this may be lacking in respect, but for the first time in a long while, shall we sleep together like sisters? Fortunately, the room is the highest-class that they have at this hotel, and as you can see, the bed is rather wide…”

“Yes! It would be just like when we were children… …Uhm, onii-sama? Is there a problem?”

Smiling gleefully together with Iris, I excitedly bounced off my chair. In response, Iris turned and looked at me with puzzlement.

“No, if we’re going to sleep with the three of us as siblings, then I was going to change into my pajamas.”

“Go die!”

As I was bathed in Darkness’ irrational shouting, Iris bewilderedly said.

“Onii-sama wants to sleep with me as well? Uhm, if Lalatina is fine with that, I don’t really mind…”

“Iris-sama, do you understand what you’re saying!? I fully realize that it may be rude for me to voice this, but what you said just now was absolutely outrageous and idiotic!”

Whilst Darkness – expectedly – objected without any consideration for the time, I, who was given permission by Iris, hurriedly turned to head to my room to retrieve my pajamas and pillow…

“Lalatina, onii-sama is not the kind of person who would do anything when he’s sleeping with someone else. Without the agreement of the other party, he will absolutely not cross the line.”

“I-, Is that right…”

Oi.

“See Darkness? Despite you knowing me for a much longer time, even Iris understands me better. To start with, if the three of us are sleeping together, aren’t you the one who’s most likely to ‘amuse yourself’ in the situation? Listen Iris, this onee-san which you admire as a sister, entered the bath on her own accord despite me being inside it, lured me by saying ‘let’s become adults together’, and suddenly kissed me as well, alright?”

“Lala-!?”

“It’s a misun-…! Iris-sama, you’re mistaken! N-, No, It’s… P-, Please don’t look at me like that Iris-samaaaaa!”

From Toranoana’s First-Print Limited Edition

Side Story: ‘Axel’s Number One…’

Having slept well past noon, I sleepily walked down the stairs while sluggishly turning my head back and forth. It was then—

“Oh depraved shNEET! Eat my crimson fist, and walk a righteous path in your next life!”

Megumin, who hid her right eye with one hand and took a very chuunibyou-like pose, snapped her fingers with her other hand and pointed at me.

“… I don’t know why you’re looking for a fight, but since you did it, I might as well take you on.”

“Owowowowowowow! Please stop, I apologize, so please stop!”

As I twisted the finger that was pointed at me, Megumin pleaded for mercy.

“So, what was that supposed to mean? If you cursed at me without any particular reason, I’ll use drain touch to absorb your magic power so you can’t do your ‘one day, one explosion’, alright?”

“P-P-P-P-, Please stop! Y-, Your thoughts are truly fearsome to behold. I think you’re even more devilish than Vanir!”

I don’t really understand what the big deal was with ‘being unable to use magic for one day’, but in any case, it had a great effect on Megumin.

As I released my hold on her finger, Megumin cautiously took several steps back.

“Actually, the Crimson Magic clansmen that live near Axel will occasionally gather together to talk about a variety of things.”

“…But I can’t think of any Crimson Magic clansmen that have left the village other than you and Yunyun. A bothersome clan like yours should be kept in the isolation facility called the ‘Village of Crimson Magic’ as much as possible.”

“Whose clan are you calling bothersome!? If we go for an interview with a mercenary or knight group, we’ll immediately be hired! We are Crimson Magic clansmen, who are in great demand no matter what adventurer guild we go to!”

Well, in any case, the Crimson Magic clansmen were the strongest magician organization in this world, but looking at this girl, I can’t help but suspect the truth behind that statement.

“So, what does being a part of this so-called ‘Crimson Magic clan’ have to do with cursing me?”

“Actually, in our next gathering, the Crimson Magic clansmen living nearby will have a showdown to decide who has the coolest signature phrase.”

…Were the Crimson Magic clansmen really the strongest magician group in the world?

As I showed a gaze of amazement, Megumin, who noticed that—

“What’s that look supposed to mean!? For Crimson Magic clansmen, choosing a signature phrase is an important duty. In some sense, it is like one’s dying last words, or a quote of a lifetime. Something like that.”

“So was it your plan for ‘oh depraved shNEET’ or something along those lines to be your quote of a lifetime?”

“It’s a misunderstanding. That was just me merely stating my thoughts when I saw your depraved and pathetic appearance after waking up.”

Hearing what Megumin said, I held her with an iron grip, and activated ‘Drain Touch’.

“W-W-W-W-WAIT! I apologize for what I said, so take anything but my magic power!”

–One week later.

“…Hey, why do I have to accompany you?”

For some reason, I was dragged along to the signature phrase showdown between Crimson Magic clansmen.

“Why not? You have free time anyways. Didn’t you waste the entirety of yesterday pulling out the thorns of Aqua’s cactus one by one using tweezers? Today, I’ll allow you to witness my cool side. I will make sure that the household name of ‘Axel’s number one phrase-user’ falls into my hands.”

“There was a meaning behind that you know? Not only did I kill a lot of time, I even got to see Aqua, who had sneakily drank the high-class neroid that I treated with utmost care, bawling.”

“After that, Aqua kept spamming ‘Heal’ on the cactus. When I saw it this morning, it had multiplied several times in size. A grown cactus is really clever, so if you get close to it from now on, it’ll probably send thorns flying at you.”

For real?

–Although it’s already unreasonable that plants in this world are sentient, it seemed that they were able to feel anger as well.

“Hm? Kazuma-san? H-, Hey Megumin, why did you bring Kazuma-san with you!?”

The girl who was bothered by my presence, was none other than the girl who carried common sense despite being in this town.

Was this was the supposed meeting place?

From the park that had been taken over by Crimson Magic clansmen, Yunyun, who noticed my presence, called out to us.

“Well met. It appeared to me that this man was quite lacking in understanding of the importance of signature phrases for us Crimson Magic clansmen, so I forcibly brought him along.”

“Stop! It’s embarrassing! I don’t really understand the importance of it either, so don’t drag an ordinary person like Kazuma-san into this!”

Noticing the commotion, and seeing me, who they haven’t met before, the other Crimson Magic clansmen seemed to be itching to introduce themselves.

From them, I could hear murmurs of ‘Dragged along? Joining at the last minute?’ and other such things.

“Geez, you’re too loud Yunyun. I never said that Kazuma was going to join, did I?”

“AHHH I’m so sorry! Kazuma-san, I’m so sorry, it’s my fault!”

Behind Yunyun, who apologized on the verge of tears, the Crimson Magic clansmen trembled in excitement as they looked at me. The seed of ‘wanting to respond to their expectations’ was borne inside me.

Signature phrase………… A cool signature phrase, huh.

“—Well then, it’s unanimously decided that Satou Kazuma, who joined at the last minute, has the coolest signature phrase!”

“Why is Kazuma number one here!? Isn’t this weird? Hey isn’t this weird!? There’s no way he could dish out such cool signature phrases like that in such a ‘bang bang bang bang’ manner!”

“The sickness that spreads through you guys in incomparable to the one that spreads in my nation. There’s no way that the chuunibyou-stained phrases left by my ancestors would ever lose.”

“One more time! Please say those things that you said just now one more time please!”

I became Axel’s number one household name.

Extra Note(s) :

– (Epilogue) In Volume 6, it is mentioned that the ring is a gift for their partner in marriage, and technically, Kazuma and Iris exchanged rings. So… Iris ship sets sail~!

– (SS3) For those that might not know, household name stands for ‘a person or thing that is well known by the public.’

– (SS3) A minor play on words: When Kazuma says ‘sickness that spreads through you guys…’, the word for ‘sickness’ (病) is the ‘byou’ (病), in ‘chuunibyou’ 中二病, which stands for eighth-grade syndrome.

– (SS3) For the punchline, remember that they did all that in the public park. Kazuma shouted all those signature phrases in public… which is why he became a ‘household name’.