The demon king army general, the evil god Wolbach.
She was a high-value bounty target who â despite her true powers being sealed â was able to use explosion magic to whittle down the elite forces of the royal capital.
After laying the feared demon king army general and evil god to rest, the impression of us being âflukesâ was swept away, and we were officially recognized as a strong party.
And then, I, who had become famous for leading the elites to defeat the demon king armyâ
âI want to go catch a wild dullahan.â
âWait, I donât get what youâre talking about.â
âWas currently sprawled on the sofa in the large living room of the mansion.
In this relaxed manner, I said that to Megumin, who looked at me with a perplexed expression.
âWhat happened to you Kazuma? Did you finally open your eyes to the Axis cult, and now you want to go hunt the undead? Iâm really happy about that, but thereâs no way youâre gonna find a wild dullahan. For now, just be patient and hunt skeletons or ghosts instead.â
I explained my reason to Aqua, who kept spouting idiotic things.
âThe reason I want to look for a wild dullahan is to learn the âPremonition of Deathâ skill. In order to succeed with a certain plan of mine, that skill is absolutely necessary. Do you think there are any places where I could find one?â
âHahâ!? The lichâs âDrain Touchâ is fine, but why do you always want to learn all these dirty skills!? Hand over your adventurer card! As long you have points remaining, Iâll make you learn as many of my party performance skills as you can!â
âOi stop it, you idiot! Donât decide things on your own! More importantly, hurry up and hand over your healing magic!â
Aqua jumped on top of me to try to steal my adventurer card. Meanwhile Darkness, whose lap was being rested on by Chomusuke, tilted her head in doubt, and looked at me with a gaze of suspicion.
Since weâve returned from our last adventure, this furball had begun to show prejudice against Aqua. Whenever it had the chance, it would go and bite Aquaâs hagoromo. Basically, it had grown to become more cat-like.
âWhy exactly do you want to learn such a dangerous skill? Also, in terms of rank, dullahans are only behind vampires and liches you know? As if you could meet something like that out in the open.â
While I had expected this answer, I still felt a bit disappointed.
In a world where a lich owned a store and a devil worked part-time, it wouldnât be a surprising for a dullahan to be operating a haunted house.
Iâm not sure if Megumin could tell from my reaction, but she questioned me with a discomforted expression.
âWhat exactly are you thinking, Kazuma? If you want to learn such a powerful skill, that means you want to fight some strong opponent right? Is my power not good enough? Is there no place for my explosion magic that has buried countless demon king army generals?*
To dispel the unease of my companion, who had asked me to rely on her, I showed her my best smile.
âNo, itâs not like that. Thanks, Megumin, there is indeed a use for your explosion magic. Well, in the end, I guess I canât ask for too much huh⊠Alright Megumin, letâs go to the neighboring nation! Then, once we get there, weâll fire one shot at the capital of that nation, and send a threatening letter. âIf you donât want to be struck by explosion magic again, then abandon your engagement with Princess Iris. As a representative of the demon king army, I do not recognize your engagement with herâââ
âThe worst⊠Youâre the worst kind of man possible! To use precious skill points to do something so stupid, do you have no shame!?â
Following Darkness, even Megumin began to berate me.
âYouâre saying this to me now, after Iâve already learned the âescapeâ and âcookingâ skills? Recently, in order to determine whether or not the adventurers at the guild were spreading bad rumors about me, I even learned the âlip readingâ skill.â
âY-Youâre really going in a direction thatâs unrelated to adventuring arenât you? Anyway, I wonât allow you to bring Megumin along to enact such a stupid plan.â
Why are people who only put points in explosion magic and defense skills telling me this?
I want to tell them that âBefore complaining about others, please put your own points into useful skillsâ.
âŠBut, unexpectedly, Aqua became the only person who wanted to be involved in my plan.
âCan I join in on your plan? Specifically, I want to know more about the part where you frame everything on the demon king army. After all, one of the daily activities of the Axis cult is to spread bad opinions about them.â
âJust to make sure, the reason the demon king attacks humanity isnât because of the Axis cult right?â
Well, I did have my reasons to plan something like this.
Given my obligations as her brother, there was no way I would refuse her request.
For the sake of fighting against the suspicious person that tricked my cute little sister, I sharpened my katana that Iâve never had to use before, and began to make various other preparations, butâ
âWell, I guess it canât be helped. Let us use a frontal attack. After accepting the bodyguard request, weâll do whatever we can to prevent the worst from happening. Since I have a lot of skill points to spare, Iâll use them to learn some useful skill when the time comes for itâŠâ
I hadnât noticed at this moment.
As I hoisted my chin on my hand, and began to brainstorm ideas on my own, Darkness looked at me with an unscrupulous gaze.
Part 2
The day after that happened.
ââOi. What exactly is this supposed to mean? Explain.â
When I woke up a bit after noon, I found myself tied up on my bed.
âSo youâre awake, Kazuma. Sorry about this, but for the next three days Iâm going to keep you restrained. What? Donât worry about it. Youâll be served the best food during this time, and I will take care of you personally. If thereâs anything you want then Iâll tell my butlers to go buy it.â
Having invaded my room at some point, Darkness showed a proud expression in the broad daylight, all whilst saying stupid things.
The summer was about to end and the fall season was quickly approaching.
So itâs unlikely that the heat got to her head.
âWhatâs up with you all of a sudden? Why did you tie me up? Taking your fetish into consideration, arenât our positions reversed? Could it be that you love me so much that you can no longer resist your urges?â
âAs if I would like a fickle man like you! And donât talk about my fetish, tying you up is completely unrelated to my personal interests.â
Darkness seemed to have lost her cool.
âYouâre just as bothersome as usual. Isnât it too late to say anything when youâve already kissed me on the cheek? Being a dead-dere isnât popular nowadays you know?â
âWhoâs a dead-dere! Also, this is unrelated to that incident a while ago. You and I had that kind of dizzy atmosphere here and there back then, but⊠Well nevermind that, thatâs not what we need to talk about. What we need to discuss is about Iris-sama.â
After telling me off, Darkness cleared her throat andâ
âSorry about this Kazuma. About Iris-samaâs bodyguard request that we received the other day, Iâm going to send a letter to reject it. Iris-sama will be leaving for the neighboring nation in three days, so until Iâve confirmed that sheâs left, Iâm going to keep you tied up. So you need to act mature and persevere for now.â
With a slightly apologetic expression, she said such thingsâŠ
âAre you kidding me!? Thatâs the reason you tied me up! At this rate, my little sister will be married to that suspicious man you know!?â
âAs if you have the right to say that as a commoner whose origins are completely unknown! If you want to convince me that youâre not a suspicious man, then tell me about your past! âŠYes, Iâve actually meant to ask you for a long time. In what nation were you born? Where did you learn all those strange things? Why are you lacking common sense⊠things like thatâŠ!â
Ignoring Darkness who began to say some troublesome things, I began to shout.
âMeguminâ! Aquaâ! Help me! Iâm being imprisoned by a female pervertâ!â
âH-, Hey, stop saying weird things! Also, too bad, those two are currently away. Whatâs left is to call for my retainers, and have you moved along with the bed to my home. If I let you become a bodyguard, then this nation will definitely run into some trouble with foreign relations. This is for the sake of my nation, so just be patient.â
âJust what kind of foreign relation problems will arise if I become a bodyguard! I learned the proper noble etiquette during the time I lived at the castle, so I wonât do anything disrespectful! So let me go!â
âDonât you dare say anything! Youâre the living definition of âdisrespectâ! If you act obediently, Iâll let you eat delicacies that you normally wonât be able to get your hands on. And arenât you a NEET at heart anyway? All you have to do is lie down while I take care of you. Not a bad deal right?â
Darkness bent and looked down as though she were talking to a child, but I realized it was not the time to say that.
â⊠I guess youâre right. Alright, I get it.â
âY-You get itâŠ!? Well, a lot of trouble has happened recently. Occasionally, spending time with you like this isâŠâ
Not too bad.
Darkness showed a bashful smile, and it seemed like she would continue to be that wayâ
âWell then, Iâve had an intense urge to go to the toilet for a while now, so could you do something about this quickly?â
And I, who was tied up on the bed, flatly said this.
ââŠEh?â
âDonât eh me, you said it yourself didnât you? That you would personally take care of me. Naturally, that means taking care of âdown underâ too right?â
ââŠâŠâŠEhââ
Darkness froze in place, dumbfounded.
âAnyway, hurry up and follow my order. Oi Darkness, go and fetch the urine bottle.â
âEeeeehhhh-!?â
âDonât eeeehhh me, hurry up. Geez, this ojou-sama is really useless. Werenât you the one who said that in the first place? Now come on, hurry up and move it already.â
This wasnât sexual harassment.
Since I couldnât move my body, thereâs no other way.
Yes, thereâs no other way.
âN-N-, Noâ! Thatâs not what I meant! Itâs true that I said that I would take care of you, but thatâs not what I meant, so please wait!â
âI canât wait anymore. âGoing to bathroom when I wake upâ is a natural phenomenon. That said, this is something that you have to do everyday alright? After all, Iâm not gonna force this job on your servants who Iâve never seen or met. Now, hurry it up already.â
âUuuumâŠ. b-butâŠâ
Despite her self-assured declaration a moment ago, Darkness was now bewildered.
âAh, this is gonna get ugly, I canât hold on any longer. How long are you gonna stay embarrassed? I helped you go to the bathroom recently as well remember? I even helped you remove your underwear and get toilet paper. Weâve already known each other for such a long time, so donât be ashamed now. Even if itâs just the lower half, hurry up and release the binds.â
As the time of nil approached, Darkness said to me in a soft voice.
ââŠIt canât be released.â
ââŠHuh?â
Darkness lowered her head apologetically.
âI didnât think about the problems down there. W-, What should we do, the rope I used to restrain you is a fairly powerful magic tool. It canât be released halfway. Basically, for the next three days, you will stayâŠâ
âYou idiot! What am I gonna do!? Are you saying that for the next three days Iâm gonna have to piss in my pants!? Oi stop kidding around! If that really happened to me, then Iâll make sure the same happens to you sometime alright!?â
âH-, Happens to meâŠâ
âItâs an emergency situation so stop anticipating it! Ah, Damnit!â
Using the only functioning mind, I reaffirmed the current situation.
I was currently tied in a rubber-like rope all the way to my knees, as if I had been tied by âbindâ magic.
It looks easy to cut at first glance, but since she said that it was a strong magic tool, I shouldnât expect anything.
However, it should be possible to loosen the rope.
âOi Darkness, with your strength it should be possible to make a gap in the rope. Focus on shifting the rope tying up the lower half of my body. That way, I should be at least be able to get some sweet release.
âI-, I got it, leave it to me!â
With her face flushed red, she began to pull on the rope.
While the ropes were tied tightly around my body, she managed to make enough of a gap to pull âitâ out.
âAlright, good work. Now thereâs a urine bottle over there so bring it over.â
â⊠Why do you have something like this? Why exactly would youâŠâ
âThis is something like a NEETâs best friend. After all, there are times during the winter when itâs so cold that you donât want to get out of bed, or itâs too bothersome to go to the toilet in the morning, right? At those important junctures, itâs a treasure.â
âJust how far are you⊠Well nevermind, it saved us this time. Iâll put it here.â
With a perplexed expression, Darkness placed the bottle next to meâŠ
âOi, I canât go like this right? Thereâs no way I canât go if you donât pull down my underwear.â
âEhh-!?â
This girl, what does she want me to do in this situation?
âDonât ehh me. My hands are tied up and I canât move my body you know? In the first place, werenât you the one who caused this situation? Itâs gonna spill at this rate, so hurry up!â
âE-E-E-Even if you say that-! Ah geezâŠâ
Appearing as though she was about to cry, Darkness averted her gaze and stretched her hands towards me.
However, as she was pulling down my pants, she showed a strange expression.
ââŠHm? Oi Kazuma, your pants are being pulled by something and wonât come down. This isâŠâ
âSorry, itâs a physiological phenomenon that happens when waking up.â
Although I didnât specify what it was, I completely forgot about how I happily sexually harassed Darkness just a moment ago, and began to shriek.
âWhat the heck are you thinking!? I almost got a class-change in gender you know!? You better remember this, after I get untied Iâm definitely gonna make you cry!â
âIâve already cried but⊠Hey Kazuma, shouldnât we just give up? I mean, once Aqua comes back, we can just use her âCreate Waterâ and âPurificationâ skills to clean it upâŠâ
âYou want me to leak!? You want me to give up everything and leak!? Is that what youâre saying!? Stop saying stupid things and move it! This wonât work if you turn your eyes away! Since this is all your fault, take responsibility and look! Come on, hurry up!â
Darkness, who looked directly at my lower half this time, once again put her hands on my pants.
âKu-, why did this happenâŠ.! All I wanted to do was to keep you away and protect Iris-samaâŠ. b-but, for me â a lady of a noble family â to be forced to do something so precarious, and to be ordered to look down there⊠This situation isnât too bad, now that I think about itâŠâ
âOi, stop saying stupid things to yourself and move it! Thereâs no time! No, Iâm done for, I canât hold on any longer!â
âW-, Wait Kazuma, Iâll help you right now alright!? Since itâs come to this, we might as well get this over with quickly! Ah geez, if Megumin or Aqua see thisâŠâ
Then, when Darkness said suchâ
I felt a gaze looking this way. Turning around to look, I saw Aqua shuddering in surprise. The look on her face was like a housekeeper who saw everything âunfoldâ.
âAwawawawawawaâŠ. To think that Darkness and Kazuma developed such a relationship⊠Well, Iâm gonna go to the guild and announce it to everyone ok!?â
ââWAIT!ââ
ââFu, you saved me Aqua. I was almost forced to leak by this perverted girl over here.â
After Aqua used her magic to release the binds of the magic tool, I returned to the room with a refreshed feeling. Looking as if she was about to cry, Darkness murmured.
âUu⊠I-, Iâm not a perverted girlâŠâ
âWell I donât really care about the details since this isnât the first time that Darkness has been a pervert, but just what kind of play were you guys doing?â
âA-, Aqua!?â
For some reason, Darkness seemed to be shocked by what Aqua said. Ignoring her, I explained to Aqua.
âRecently, we got a bodyguard request letter from Iris right? And like, for some reason, Darkness is really against me accepting the request, so she decided to tie and lock me up in her own house. After amusing herself with me for a while, she planned to reject the request.â
âDarkness, if youâre gonna do that, then of course you deserve to be called a perverted girl, you know?â
âJust who is gonna amuse themselves with you! âŠBut this time around, itâs actually really bad. The person Iris-sama is engaged to is the first prince of the neighboring nation, Elroad. Furthermore, it seems like this prince is also extremely troublesome to deal with. If you act like you usually do, and do something disrespectful, thereâll surely be some foreign affairs problems.â
A troublesome first prince.
Now that Iâve heard that, thereâs all the more reason to protect Iris.
Hearing that, Aquaâs eyes began to glimmer and shine.
âElroad? Did you just say Elroad? Are we going to the nation of casinos, Elroad?â
I didnât really get why, but it seems that the name of that nation had pulled at Aquaâs heartstrings.
Well, to be fair, the ânation of casinosâ had a nice ring to it.
âAqua, just making sure that you know, but if weâre going, weâll be performing this bodyguard request, and not to play around alright? Thatâs right, if you want to go to the casinos in Elroad that badly, then letâs all go there another time for a vacation! Since everyone has a lot of money, we donât really need to work while weâre there, we can just go there to genuinely play around!â
Although Darkness desperately tried to convince her, just looking at Aquaâs expression was enough for anyone to know that she had already set her mind on it.
I nodded my head in satisfactionâ
âAlright, it seems that Aqua also wants to accept this request! Well then, after Megumin comes back, why donât we take a majority vote? Well, even if I say that, since we havenât done any quests or travelled anywhere recently, I donât think sheâs gonna be against it!â
âUuuuuâŠâ
Seeing Darkness hold her head with her hands, I showed a confident smile.
Part 3
âNo.â
Evening that dayâ
Iâm not sure whether she went to release her daily dose of explosion magic, but Yunyun had carried Megumin home. In an exhausted state she flatly rejected me.
Around the time we returned from slaying Wolbach, she had become rebellious.
Even though she usually forces me to accompany her on her explosion walks, recently, sheâs only gone with Yunyun.
âWhat do you mean by ânoâ? Even though, youâre always the first one to agree, saying that âI want to defeat a powerful enemy Iâve never seen beforeâ, why not this time?â
Megumin, who sunk into the sofa in the living room, slightly turned her head to look at Aqua and Darkness preparing dinner in the kitchen. Then, she glanced at me, and said.
âThereâs no particular reason. Geez, this man. Normally, youâre unwilling to work even if we force you. So why is it you choose to accept the request immediately once Iris gets involved?â
What she said was unusually laudable. In a provoking manner, I replied.
âOh, whatâs with you? Jealous?â
But Megumin didnât get angry like she usually would. Instead, she looked at me straight in the eye and said.
âYes, Iâm jealous. Since all that has happened, shouldnât you pay a little more attention to me?â
âEh⊠Ah, right.â
Without a hint of playfulness in her expression, Megumin replied in a frank manner. Instead, I was the oneâs whose face felt hot with a troubled expression.
What she meant by âall thatâ was probably the night of that day, where we almost crossed the line.
Rather, was she the type of person to say something like this?
She would usually burst out in anger or lose all composure. I felt that she was an unrestrained sort of person.
âKazuma, does Iris really weigh on your mind that much?â
Replying to Megumin, who was staring at meâ
âN-, No well, I just canât help but feel worried about that girl. Rather than someone of the opposite gender, I worry about her because she â due of her position â tends to worry too much about how people think. As a result, sheâs not allowed to do anything selfish, and I canât help but get the feeling that sheâs always lonely. So thatâs why I care so much about my little sister.â
I might be a NEET, but Iâm not a lolicon.
I only see Iris as a cute little sister.
Though, in the future when she grows up; if she tells me that she wants to be onii-chanâs bride, then I wonât hesitate to fulfill her wish.
Towards Meguminâs unexpected words, I began to talk faster, and worried about whether or not my face became red.
âWell but, if you really donât want to then Iâll think of some other way. If weâre gonna go be bodyguards, then I want everyone to go. Itâs a shame that I wonât be able to see Iris, butâŠâ
âLetâs accept.â
Then, Megumin cut me off, and released a short sigh.
âIâm also bothered by that girl. Just now, I was feeling a bit jealous. Thatâs all.â
âO-, Oh.â
What should I say about her frank goodwill?
The edges of my ears felt really hot.
Having fallen into the clutches of a girl younger than myself, I began to consider whether I should use âFreezeâ on my hot face. As I was pondering, Darkness and Aqua brought the food out from the kitchen.
âOh youâre home Megumin. Weâre having a feast tonight! âŠWhat happened Kazuma, your face is flushed you know?â
âN-N-, Nothing happened! Right Megumin!?â
In contrast to me, whose face was flushed red, Megumin bore a composed expression, as she showed a gentle smile to Darkness.
Why did she act so dignified now? Doesnât that make me, who seems so uneasy, look like an idiot?
âYou know, Megumin, if you came home earlier, you would have seen an interesting sight. When I got back, Darkness had Kazuma tied up in a bed, and was about to amuse herself using him.â
âOho?â
Hearing Aquaâs needless statements, Meguminâs expression seemed to twitch.
âWait, Aqua, I didnât plan to amuse myself using him! Itâs true that I tied him up, but like I explained beforeâŠâ
Darkness, who was carrying the plates, took a short glance at Megumin, and hurriedly began to explain, butâ
âNo, if Aqua had come home any later, then Darkness was gonna pull down my pants. She really saved me you know?â
âWhaâ!?â
As I added on, Meguminâs eye began to shine a bright crimson.
ââŠWell, Darkness is in heat all year round, and while what she does to whoever has no relation to me whatsoever, sheâs still the lady of a great family. Thatâs why I canât approve of her forcing herself onto men, reallyâ!â
âN-N-N-N-NoâŠ! Itâs not like that Megumin, there are circumstances! Also, donât say that Iâm in heat all year round!â
While Darkness hurriedly explained herself, the rest of us already had our eyes on the food.
âHm, are you curious about this Kazuma? As expected of someone who goes with me to food festivals, your eye for food is quite good. Yes, our dinner for tonight is blowfish! Not only that, this in particular is known as the king of blowfish, âparadise blowfishâ. Although its poison is a stage stronger, itâs a delicacy thatâs rated by gourmets as âI donât care if I die after eating thisâ! Also, the blowfish is currently in season as well.â
âIâm not sure whether the blowfishâs name is talking about what happens while youâre eating it, or after that. Well, to think that you had a license for blowfish preparation⊠I thought that you were a person with a lot of talents, but this is really something else huh?â
Megumin and I quickly seated ourselves, and looked at the dish with glimmering eyes.
Blowfish sashimi, blowfish hot pot, egg custard.
A side dish that looked like soft roe, as well as an earthenware brazier with blowfish fins.
Faced with these mouth-watering dishes, I couldnât resist any longer, and stretched my hand out toâŠ
âNo way I would have a license. Tell me if your body feels a bit numb ok? Iâll cast detoxification magic.â
âOi.â
Itâs because of things like these that I donât like the roughness of this alternate world.
I quickly returned the egg custard that I took, but then, I heard a clinking sound from beside me.
âTasty tasty.â
âDonât eat it, the poison hasnât been filtered out you know!?â
Megumin, who had also taken the egg custard, ate it with an expression of joy.
Not only that, at some point, Darkness had stabbed a blowfish sashimi with the fork, and fed it into her mouth.
For real? Donât these guys feel any hesitation?
Could it be that the people living in this world all eat blowfish with detoxification magic?
Since this was a world with magic, it does make sense, butâŠ
As if to get revenge for messing with her, Darkness showed a crude smile towards me, and said:
âWhat is it Kazuma? Youâre afraid of poison despite being an adventurer? With Aqua, whose first-rate only when it comes to priest skills, thereâs nothing to be afraid of.â
âHey Darkness, did you just say âonly when it comes to priest skillsâ?â
âNot at all.â
Saying that, Darkness moved on to the next dish.
Next to me, Megumin took the soup from the hot pot, and sipped it with joy.
âŠâŠBlowfish huh?
Now that I think about it, I didnât eat blowfish back when I was in Japan.
âThatâs right. Other things aside, your healing magic is really first-class. Alright!â
âHey Kazuma, did you just say âother things asideâ?â
âNot at all. âŠThis is tasty! What is this, this is super tasty!â
Eating the blowfish hot pot, I couldnât help but vocalize my feelings for its taste.
With my vocabulary, I could only describe this as âsuper tastyâ.
Seeing us, Aqua showed an extremely satisfied smile.
âItâs nice that youâre all happy. Originally, these blowfish were meant to be used by Cecily for attracting new believers. Her amazing strategy involved attracting passersby with the charm of this blowfish. Then, once they eat it, with the condition of detoxification magic, she will force them to convert to the Axis cult. Well, she was taken away by the police for some reason.â
âSo you were planning to do something like that? Didnât I tell you to cut your relations with that girl?â
But well, itâs thanks to her that we get to taste this blowfish delicacy, so she has my appreciation.
By the time I moved on to eat the thinly cut blowfish sashimi, Aqua had already grilled the blowfish fins and made the hirezake. She then began to drink.
Aqua, who drank hirezake with the blowfish roe as an accompaniment, no longer seemed like a goddess or a heroine. Rather, she was the spitting image of a middle aged uncle.
âBy the way, donât the organs of the blowfish have particularly strong poison? Donât get caught up and eat too much okay? Your presence is meaningless if you â the magic user â are paralyzed and canât move when it matters alright?â
âIdiot, what Iâm wearing are divine treasures you know? Itâs an amazing article that can nullify any harmful conditions. Thereâs no way the poison of a blowfish could have any effect you know?â
Now that I think about it, we had this conversation before didnât we?
I was worried that there would be a flaw in this, considering this person, but if itâs like this, thenâŠ!
ââââHow much blowfish have I managed to enjoy?
âFufufu, fhatâs up Kafuma. At may fevel, may resistasnce to roison is quiteâŠâ
âYour tongue is so numb I canât even tell what youâre saying.â
Hearing Darkness, who wasnât able to talk clearly after eating a vast amount of the most poisonous parts, I decided it was about time to cast detox magic.
Suddenly, something leaned heavily against me.
In front of everyone, Megumin, whose face was flushed red, leaned her head on my shoulder with a fawning expression plastered on her faceâŠ
âHm- Oi Aqua! This firl ish⊠Eh, I fanât speak clearlyâŠâ
Turning to look at Aqua, the blood ran from my face.
Aquaâs face was plastered to the table.
What happened to this girlâs divine treasure? Didnât it nullify poison!?
Darkness, who noticed the current state of the situation, hurriedly lifted Aqua off the table andâŠ!â
âSuhahaââ
âYou liffle, donât fet drunk so fuickly! Get up! I shed get upâ!â
Part 4
The next morningâ
âHey Kazuma, do you really want to take Iris-samaâs request? Let me explain. Even if we disregard your disrespectful attitude, I think that with our actual abilities, weâll probably fail the bodyguard request. What other party besides ours would be almost wiped out by blowfish?â
âWhat happened yesterday was not a failure as adventurers, so it doesnât count. Weâre the ones that have defeated the most demon king army generals in this world, and the number one party of Axel. No one can complain about us.â
After almost being wiped out from food poisoning yesterday, we completed our preparations to travel to the capital, and went to the teleport store in Axel.
âAqua went to drop Emperor Zell and Chomusuke off somewhere, but sheâs late isnât she? Did something happen?â
We were currently waiting for Aqua, who went to drop off Emperor Zell and Chomusuke at Wizâs store.
That girl didnât start a fight with Vanir did she?
As I was pondering this, Aqua, who carried her luggage on her back, finally arrived.
âIâve dropped them off. When that depraved masked guy saw Chomusuke, he said âOhoho, Moi looked away for a mere moment, but another interesting development has occurred ho!? FUHAHAHAHAHA!â and started rolling around or something. Well, there shouldnât be any problems either way.â
What did he mean by interesting?
Could that thing actually become that onee-san when it grows up?
Although I was really curious, this wasnât the time for that.
âOi, you guys, let me be the one to talk with the teleport storeâs owner. Iâve wanted to complain about this place since forever.â
âComplain? You, did you have some sort of fight with the store owner?â
Darkness inquired with suspicion. Without replying, I opened the doors to the teleport store.
I recalled what happened a couple months ago.
After having been forcibly separated with my Iris, my little sister, I tried to meet her in secret.
âYo old geezer, Iâm here again! Could you please teleport me to the capital?â
âWelco-⊠Arenât you the wanted man, Satou Kazuma!? Didnât I already tell you that youâre not allowed to teleport to the capital!? Is your memory that bad!?â
Eavesdropping on our conversation, Darkness was speechless.
âY-, You, I look away for a moment and you tried to go meet Iris-sama?â
âYeah. I donât know whether or not itâs the handiwork of that noble named Claire, but Iâm apparently not allowed to teleport to the capital. But not this time. Here old guy, look at this! This is a written invitation from royalty. This is official, so donât get it dirty alright!?â
Saying this, I took out the letter from Iris. The store owner showed an expression of raw detest.
âIs this real? You didnât forge this somewhere right? A while ago, you even threatened me by saying âIf you mess with me, whoâs related to the Dustiness family, something badâs gonna happenâ, remember?â
âOi Kazuma, come here for a moment. I want to have a word with you.â
âI refuse. Oi old geezer, this girl here is the lady of the Dustiness house. Look, if you live in this city, you should have some impression of her right? Then you know I wasnât lying right?â
I asked these questions whilst resisting Darknessâ pull. On the other hand, the store ownerâs face turned paler by the second.
Seeing the store ownerâs reaction, Darkness desperately pulled me to a corner of the store.
âDonât just tell me âI refuseâ! Hey Kazuma, you didnât use my name to do any weird things right? You didnât abuse the authority of my family to do anything, right?â
âI didnât do anything more than mention your name when Aqua was kicked out of a high-class restaurant because of her clothing ok?â
âI didnât do anything more than say that âI would have a word with Darknessâ if the carpenters refused to perform maintenance and reconstruction on the Axis cultâs church.â
âI didnât do anything more than say that âthis is something that Lalatina-ojou-sama will eat, so please give me the tasty parts pleaseâ when I was buying the ingredients for dinner.â
Hearing what we said, Darkness powerlessly fell to the floor.
She covered her face with her hands, as if to hide her embarrassment. She looked like as though she was going to burst into tears.
Seeing Darknessâ guilty and pitiful visage, the store owner said with a caring tone.
âJudging from that reaction, I can see that you are a member of the Dustiness house. Uhm, about your request to teleport to the capital, I wonât charge you, soâŠâ
âOh, excuse me thenââ
âIâll pay! Iâll pay the full price! I canât allow myself to cause anymore trouble for the citizens of this town!â
Interrupting me, who accepted the offer as if it was a given, Darkness jumped to her feet and retrieved her purse.
âOi Kazuma, I have a lot of things to ask you after we finish this request. Mark my words. The same goes for the two of you over there! Donât try to pretend that youâre not involved!â
The three of us surrounded Darkness, who promptly moved to pay the store owner, and pushed her into the magic circle.
âGeez, what a stubborn ojou-sama. As your party members, arenât we basically family? We give and we take, and we help each other in times of need. Regardless of whether youâre a noble or not, our attitudes wonât change. Thatâs what it means to be companions you see. When the time comes, feel free to use my name as the number one adventurer of Axel as well.â
âThat right Darkness. Tell me anytime you want to borrow the authority of the Axis church. Iâll help you out.â
âDarkness, although I was a bit surprised when I found out that you were a noble, to me, Darkness is just the Darkness I know. If youâd like to borrow of the power of the Crimson Magic clan, feel free to talk to me. I can write a letter to everyone in the village.â
Hearing what we said, Darkness showed a genuinely happy expression for a fleeting moment.
âY-, You guysâŠ! âŠHm? No wait, this is strange! No matter how I think about it, there wonât be a time where I need to borrow anyoneâs name or the power of the Axis church or the Crimson Magic clanâŠâ
As Darkness made a senseless fuss, we moved onto the teleport circle, and stood on standby.â
It was thenâ
âHey Kazuma, did you know this? Apparently, when teleporting, thereâs a small chance for a rare accident to happen that causes you fuse with other small animals that get inside the magic circle! According to some rumors, this is how werewolves and lamias are made you see! You see!â
Aqua, as if to scare me, suddenly said things like this, butâŠ
âThen next time, why donât we capture three or so goblins and teleport them with you? If the fusion goes correctly, I think your intelligence might increase.â
âWhat are you saying you stupid NEET. Youâre the one that needs to teleport with ants and raise your body to NEET ratio.â
âAh, uhm⊠An accident will really happen, so please stand still in the circleâŠâ
As the store owner timidly muttered with a troubled expression, I gave him the signal.
âAlright old geezer, send us to the capital!â
Until now, all big requests that Iâve undertaken were all a matter of circumstance.
But not this time.
I have accepted this on my own accord, for the sake of keeping a prince I havenât seen before away from my little sister.
âWha, waitâŠ!â
Ignoring Darkness, who seemed to have some complaint, the store owner chanted the magic at us.