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chapter 5




After the sun had set, I came to a certain party in the shopping district.
“You are too late, Kazuma. We have already started! Hey, come here!”
—Call it a night festival, but it was not quite it.
This was a celebration held on the last day of the festival.
The organizers of this festival booked the entire shopping street for use as the location for a banquet.
There were the shopping street’s chairman and members, as well as Eris Cultists and Axis Cultists.
I sat next to Aqua, who arrived first.
“Hey. Letting those people stay in the same place. Isn’t it like locking a goddess and a demon in the same room?”
Hearing my analogy, Aqua looked unhappy.
“You shut-in schemer. It’s too much to describe Eris Cultists as demons. And this is to celebrate the end of the festival, right? My kids won’t make a scene during the banquet.”
Actually, I was describing the Axis Cultists as demons.
But never mind.
As Aqua said, the Axis Cultists present neither argued nor picked a fight with the Eris Cultists. Instead, they were taking the initiative to pour wine and enjoying themselves.
“Could it be that if you people have a banquet for 24 hours, you all will become amiable?”
“It felt like we were being looked down upon, but it’s not wrong. By the way, I’m like that too. If you want me to be amiable, bring me some good wine every day.”
“You are admitting that you are one of the main culprits for causing trouble.”
There were familiar people everywhere.
The priestess Cecily was rubbing her drunken face against the cheeks of a girl from Eris Cult.
For some reason, Vanir was eating together with Yunyun and Wiz. He was probably here as a member of the shopping street.
TL Note: Insert image –https://i.imgur.com/WYiYRMI.jpg
And then…
“Darkness, come. Drink! Megumin too!”
“Why are you so excited during the banquet? Hey, hey. Fine, I’ll drink. Don’t drag Megumin into this! I will drink Megumin’s share too!”
“Darkness, I’m not a kid anymore. At this time, let me drink! I’m of marriageable age! Ah, Kazuma, you came late. You help me explain this! I’m merely two years younger than Kazuma. So I’m not that young!”
Chris’ face was red as she hugged Darkness and Megumin.
Did all the goddesses love banquets?
“You are too young to drink wine. Also, Megumin and I are three years apart now. Because today is my birthday!”
That’s right. Today is my first birthday since coming to this world.
Announcing my own birthday was a bit shameless, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity. I wished to be congratulated by everyone.
“Oh. Happy birthday? Then, Kazuma. Give me a present.”
I immediately received such congratulations…
“… Present? Ah. What are you saying? Why must I give you a present?”
Hearing this, Aqua shook her head helplessly and replied.
“Kazuma is really an idiot who doesn’t know this country’s customs. Fine, I’ll tell you. In this country, the birthday person give presents to those who took care of him in the past year out of gratitude. Something like ‘Thanks to everyone, I made it through the year safely.’”
Was that for real? This world was so evil.
But because there were monsters in this world, the average life expectancy was rather low, so this custom was…
“There was no such custom. Kazuma, happy birthday. I will give you a present later.”
Hearing Megumin’s words, I immediately seized Aqua.
“You are so good at telling such indiscernible lies, you old maid of an indeterminate age! Tell us your birthday and age, hey!”
“Wah! Kazuma said something he should never have said! I must inflict divine retribution on you!”
As Aqua and I throttled each other, Darkness said while holding her wine glass in a handkerchief.
“Kazuma, happy birthday. When we get home, I will give you a present too. Sorry. I would have prepared one, if I knew earlier.”
“Ah. Thanks. I should have mentioned it earlier. Megumin’s birthday passed by without notice. We’ll celebrate it the next time. By the way, when is Darkness’ birthday? Since you are a noble, it must be a grand party, right?”
“Eh. M-My birthday? …Uh. T-That…”
Seeing Darkness’ gaze wandering away, Chris said simply.
“Darkness’ birthday was over a long time ago. There was a huge party in spring, right? By the way, why didn’t Assistant-kun and the rest come then?”
Hearing this, Darkness shivered. I suddenly understood.
“You. You thought that nothing good would happen if we came, so you intentionally did not invite us, right? —You thought that we would do stupid things to other nobles!”
“Is that so!? That’s too much! Oh, right. When we received the commendation of that kid Iris, she suggested we decline!”
“Punish her! Today, let’s punish this rich girl who thinks too much!”
I watched Aqua and Megumin pester Darkness, who was about to cry. At this time, Chris, who was smiling bitterly along with me, pulled on my sleeve to suggest we leave for elsewhere.
“—It was really a mess… I heard from Darkness that you are the schemer behind this entire incident?”
After we left, we were wandering nearby. The cold night wind blew on my face, which was hot from the wine. Chris said suddenly with an expression of being at odds.
After letting Eris herself appear in her beauty contest.
The manifestation of a goddess became a major news, spreading quickly to the nearby cities and even the imperial capital via magic, carrier pigeons, and even fast horses.
According to the shopping street chairman, Axel would become the city where the goddess descended, a holy place for the Eris Cultists.
“A-About this, I’m really sorry. I will help you search for the divine relics, so please let me go… But the shopping street committee said— ‘After this event, the Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival must definitely go on.’”
Hearing this, Chris became awkward and embarrassed.
“Is it? … Then, since you and Aigis helped me on the stage, I will forgive you this time!”
“I’m truly grateful, my Lady Goddess. Thank you very much!”
We bantered with each other as we wandered around the city which still had liveliness left over from the festival.
After escaping safely from the beauty pageant, it was said that Aigis was completely obedient to Chris.
I heard that she will find a good master for Aigis soon, giving Aigis away as a trump card against the demon king’s army.
In this way, the search for the divine relic and the competition between the Eris Cult and the Axis Cult ended on a good note.
But thinking about it carefully, the influence of an actual goddess is really powerful.
After all, just walking along the street like this…
“Sigh… Could Eris-sama still be somewhere in this city? Since the first time I saw her portrait, I have been longing for her…”
“Even if she is still around, she won’t appear before you with your evil thoughts. Only a sincere Eris Cultist like me can meet her one day.”
“You are the one who is evil. You spent the savings for your marriage on the teleport service just to arrive in this city quickly.”
“Fool. I’m here to get Eris-sama’s blessing on my marriage. My girlfriend agreed to this.”
We encountered two men who were enthusiastically discussing about Eris.
I rubbed shoulders with them as I walked pass.
“… Hear that? Eris-sama, aren’t you going to bless him?”
“I’m not Eris-sama. I’m Chris-sama, Assistant-kun. The only thing I can do now is to steal treasure from your house to compensate that guy for his wedding savings.”
We laughed simultaneously.
Perhaps because we suddenly stopped and laughed, someone bumped into Chris’ back.
It was a pair of young sisters. They were holding some pretty flowers.
“I-I apologize!”
“Very sorry!”
The two sisters hurriedly apologized to Chris.
“I’m the one who is sorry for stopping suddenly. Any problem? Not hurt?”
Saying, Chris lowered her head.
The younger sister dropped her flower on the ground.
Chris quickly picked up the flower.
“S-Sorry! Letting such a pretty chris drop on the ground.”
She handed the violet flower over to the girl.
“Chris? … Is that the flower’s name?”
I looked at the flower in the girl’s hands and asked softly.
“That’s right. This flower’s name is chris. In the language of flowers, it means ‘a heart that never gives up’.”
Hearing Chris’ explanation, the older sister said in admiration.
“Eh. That. Why do you have a scar on your face? Are you an adventurer? Dad says that adventurers are unruly. But why would an unruly person be so familiar with flowers?”
The rapid string of questions common to children was causing some difficulty for Chris.
She scratched her scar on her cheek and said.
“Uh… This scar was gained during the fight with the bad guys in the demon king’s army. I’m indeed an adventurer. And not all adventurers are unruly, like this big brother here.”
She smiled happily as she looked at me.
“And I’m only familiar with this flower. Look. This flower has the same color as my eyes, right? I like this chris flower very much.”
Chris bended her waist and met the eyes of both girls, bringing her face close to the flower to catch its scent.
“So that’s how it is. This flower is an offering to Eris-sama. My sister and I pooled our savings to buy this.”
“Yes. Because Eris-sama also loves this flower!”
“Eh… So impressive. To even know what Eris-sama loves! But if Eris-sama finds out that kids like you are spending your savings on flower offerings, she would be happy but also sad at the same time. So limit it to this one time. This way, Eris-sama would be pleased.”
Chris said in embarrassment and gently ruffled their heads.
“Is it? … But we wanted to thank Eris-sama.”
“… Thank?”
She said to the puzzled Chris.
“Yes. Thank. Mom said that everyone could live peacefully because Eris-sama grants people all kinds of power to resist the evil demon king.”
“And that Eris-sama secretly did a lot of good deeds, so we want to thank Eris-sama and cheer her on.”
“I-Is that so? … Then, even if you don’t make any offering hereafter, Eris-sama would be very happy to know your hearts. She will definitely be grateful for your support.”
Saying, she looked troubled as she scratched her cheek.
Her face showed an expression as if she just received redemption.
The younger sister looked at her and said.
“… By the way, your eyes and hair are of the same color as Eris-sama.”
Kids were really incredibly sensitive.
The older sister was also staring at her hair as Chris started to panic.
The girl thought for a while and offered her flower to Chris.
“My sister already has the offering, so this flower is for you. Adventurer, thank you for protecting us from monsters!”
“Thanks!”
Saying, the sisters smiled and pushed the flower to Chris.
This was probably just a childish whim.
“Ah. Haha. Fine, fine. I lost to you both. I-I want to thank you both…!”
Chris blushed after receiving an unexpected present from the girl.
Her eyes were on the verge of tears. She smiled shyly and stuttered.
The two girls smiled and ran off.
“Then, farewell, big brother! Bye bye!”
“Bye bye!”
“Eh!? Wait! I’m not a big brother. I’m a big sister!”
After being ambushed at the time of parting, Chris was on the verge of tears for a different reason.
“I say. Does the name Chris come from…”
Chris brought her face close to the flower in her hand, closed her eyes, and sniffed at its fragrance.
“Yes. It comes from this flower.”
She watched the two girls leave with a face full of blessings.
“… I thought you just randomly changed one or two letters from ‘Eris’.”
“What kind of person did you think I am?”
She stared at me with the flower close to her nose.
“You are of course… a person who silently and continuously worked hard alone, the only person I respect.”
“… I-Is it? Like this huh. Never mind. Yes. This is fine.”
“Oh. Embarrassed? Are you embarrassed, Big Boss?”
“You are long-winded and annoying, Assistant-kun. Shut up.”
“Even with your back turned towards me, I know. You are blushing so hard that even your ears are red. Eris-sama is really cute. Marry me?”
“Annoying. Mr. Kazuma, you are irritating. If you tease a goddess, you will suffer divine retribution. And don’t say such things casually. I will tell Darkness and Megumin that Mr. Kazuma proposed marriage to me.”
Chris walked on more hastily without looking back.
She maintained her pose with her back towards me, blushed, and said unwillingly.
“I say, Assistant-kun.”
“What?”
She walked on in big strides, holding the flower in her hands tightly like it was a precious treasure.
“… Thank you for helping me so much.”
Because of the words of her young worshippers, the Lady Goddess felt that her secret efforts were being rewarded. She said softly words that contained various meanings.
When I caught up to this cute and easily bullied friend—
Because this troublesome yet lively festival was over, there was a slight sense of loneliness.
TL Note: Insert image –https://i.imgur.com/Gj0GG8q.jpg
Epilogue 2: After the End of the Festival
After the festival ended, on a certain day when the city returned to its usual peacefulness.
Aqua lay on the sofa and played with the yellow fur ball on the empty shell, which still maintained a sense of presence. She said happily.
“Kazuma. Cecily sent a letter to thank you. ‘Thanks to you, the Axis Cult’s Axel branch has successfully completed our work. As arranged by the Eris Cult, next year’s festival will be co-hosted by both cults. This is all the credit of Kazuma-san who donated a lot of cash. We therefore consider you an honorary Axis Cultist.’”
“Damn it!”
“Wah!”
Without explanation, I tore up the letter Aqua was reading.
“Too much! You Sukapon NEET! What are you dissatisfied with the thank-you letter my cultist wrote with so much effort!?”
TL Note: Sukapon is the main robot in the fighting Nintendo game, Joy Mech Fight. Seehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joy_Mech_Fight
“I’m dissatisfied with everything! Why must I become your worshipper!? This is a punishment game!”
In the end, I gave all the money I made as an advisor to Aqua.
My sense of guilt was overflowing after learning Aqua used her reward for the Kowloon Hydra hunt, along with her usual savings, for the festival.
I helped to rebuild the dilapidated church. This should cancel out my role of scheming behind the scene… I thought.
“Hehe. Kazuma is being coy. This is a form of coyness, right? Cecily said that Kazuma-san is very coy, so when he says ‘hate’, one should take it to mean the opposite.”
“I hate that woman and you.”
“… Why don’t I have an adoring feeling when you are being coy with me?”
Aqua sat down before me and suddenly tilted her head to ask.
“Oh, right. Kazuma. There’s something I want to ask you. I heard Eris appeared in the beauty contest. Do you know where she went? She’s too much. If she came down here, she should have come to greet me. She’s so heartless towards her sempai.”
She caused so much trouble for Eris and still prided herself as a sempai. That was really impressive from a certain point of view.
I felt impressed as I stood up from the sofa and picked up Emperor Zell, who was sticking to Vanir’s empty shell.
I thought everything was resolved, but I still hadn’t decide on what to do with this fellow.
Wasn’t that a way to make use of this chick with great magic power?
“If you treat Emperor Zell so roughly, you will suffer in the future. When Emperor Zell grows up, I can’t stop it if it attacks you.”
“Then I’ll finish it off while it is still small.”
“… Don’t worry. Emperor Zell is kind and magnanimous. Don’t be afraid… Come, Emperor Zell, come to me. This guy is as scary as the meat store uncle on the third street. Be careful.”
Who was the meat store uncle?
Emperor Zell returned to the empty shell and lay down idly.
“Sigh… The work was finally done… The manifestation of Eris-sama was great, but the sudden influx of tourists is overwhelming…”
Darkness, who was busy with the lordship duties, rubbed the sides of her head.
“Good work. The lordship duties must be difficult. The manifestation of Eris-sama caused a lot of tourists coming from various cities, but the economy has improved as a result as well. Isn’t it good?”
“It’s good that there are many people… Sigh. My father has started recovering during the festival. The troublesome lordship duties will be over today. From now on, I can do quests without reservations.”
“Ah? What are you saying? I’m really not doing it anymore. There is no reason for doing quests. For livelihood, I can use my Cooking skill to open a restaurant with cute waitresses, catering to both my interest and profits. I won’t take on quests anymore. Right, Aqua?”
“Right. For now, I want to educate Emperor Zell, so forget about quests. I used all the money from Kazuma on rebuilding the church, funding next year’s festival, and the banquet. Hereafter, I’ll live leisurely on Kazuma’s money, so I won’t take on dangerous quests. Yes. I want to live idly in this mansion every day and be worshipped during the annual festival.”
After hearing my words, Aqua expressed her agreement.
“… Hey, wait. Why must I spend money on you? I don’t mind covering for the food expenses, but earn your own money for your other personal expenditures… And you already used up all the money I gave you?”
“Yes. Don’t worry about my personal expenditures. I have two or three new money-making schemes.”
……
“You people. You were so enthusiastic during the festival… By the way, Aqua, what are those money-making schemes? Tell me before you do anything.”
“Don’t want to.”
…… Aqua covered her ears and pretended not hear the inevitable lecture from Darkness.
I caressed Emperor Zell in my palm as I looked at them.
Megumin came down from the second floor in a one-piece dress.
Seeing the usual quarrelsome scene, she smiled happily and sat down beside me.
“It’s too bad we couldn’t properly enjoy the festival. While we were busy, the festival ended— But this is rather like our style.”
“That’s true. A festival should be more frolic, noisy, joyful, and sentimental. Why must we despondently fight monsters during the fireworks display? I wish we could make the festival longer. At least have a proper fireworks display.”
I complained in dissatisfaction. Thinking back on the fireworks display, we nearly created a good mood.
Looking at me like this, Megumin laughed happily.
“… Right. It’s Kazuma’s birthday. I must give you a birthday present.”
“Anything is fine. But I’m somewhat concerned about what you will give me. Don’t be like Aqua and give me some strangely shaped rock, okay?”
Hearing this, Megumin suddenly came close and whispered into my ear.
“Could you come to my room tonight? I have something important to say to you.”
TL Note: Insert image –https://i.imgur.com/zw2x3T5.jpg
Special: To Realize A Man’s Romance
The residential floor of Wiz’s Magic Tool Shop.
“Uh, Lady Aqua… It’s difficult for me to work if you keep hugging me…”
Aqua was tightly hugging Wiz from behind as Wiz worked at a small table.
“You are cooling and comfortable to hug. There are no customers anyway, so it doesn’t matter if you are not in the shop, right? Stay in my room for this summer then.”
“E-Even if you say so…”
Although it wasn’t swelteringly hot, the heat wave at this time was still unbearable.
She had no intention of leaving Wiz’s cool lich body during this period.
“Won’t Wiz be purified if you keep touching her? Don’t hinder her work. Let her go.”
“Don’t worry. I’m suppressing my divine aura. As long as I keep thinking about despicable things, the purification power will naturally be weak.”
“… What are you thinking about in the middle of the day? Slut.”
“… I’m merely thinking about the things Kazuma usually does.”
As Aqua and I traded insults, Wiz raised her head while being hard at work.
“It’s completed!”
She showed us the thing in her hands.
“I have been wondering for a while. What are you making?”
Hearing my question, Wiz looked happy as if saying “Good question”.
“This is my latest magic item! It’s a bit embarrassing to say it myself, but this is a flawless and convenient item! Although it has limited charges, it allows anyone to easily use healing magic…”
Aqua, who had been sticking herself on Wiz’s back, interrupted her and smashed the magic item with her fist.
“Ah!? What are you doing, Lady Aqua? I spent so much effort to make this!”
Wiz cried out. Aqua hugged her back again, continuing a silent protest.
It seemed she didn’t like everyone being able to use healing magic.
I said to Wiz as she cried over the ruined magic item in her hands.
“I’m sorry, Wiz. I will pay for the cost of making this item… Hey, don’t suddenly pretend to sleep!”
Hearing something about paying, Aqua quickly closed her eyes and tightly buried her face in Wiz’s back.
“I-It seems I won’t make a loss then. I can probably make it through the month…”
Wiz looked relieved. I looked at the ruined magic item and said.
“But Wiz is a famous wizard, right? Can’t you create something that is easy to sell? Normal wizards can’t easily make something like this, right?”
“Yes. Creating magic items require a lot of mana. For a magic item like this, I think only the magic artisans of Crimson Magic Clan can create it.”
True to the rumors, Wiz was really excellent.
I suddenly thought of something and asked experimentally.
“Hypothetically, can you make a doll operated by using mana? Not the suspicious things used by Vanir for attacking, but a doll shaped like a pretty girl.”
“It’s possible. I can create something that can do simple housework and it looks like a normal human.”
……
“Sell that!!”
“Eh!? Ah. No, it’s possible to make, but it will be very expensive.”
“That is not a problem! It will sell! It definitely will sell! And the people with strange names like mine would definitely buy it!”
To think that she could make an android. I couldn’t suppress my excitement.
“It will sell? Uh. I think it would be cheaper to make a golem or hire maids…”
Leaving maids aside, a pretty girl type of robot was every man’s romantic dream.
There must be many Japanese who thought the same way.
“It would be perfect if it can speak. But a pretty girl doll that can do housework is enough. It will sell. This is definitely profitable!”
“Speaking simple words is possible, but…”
“Perfect!”
I shouted uncontrollably.
Shocked by my shout, Wiz said apologetically.
“No. They are really simple responses…! At most, something like ‘Yes, master’ or ‘Welcome back, master’…”
“I will buy without hesitation. I hope you can work on this immediately. Listen, Wiz. Believe me, this will change the times.”
“Y-Yes! I will work hard. I’m somewhat excited now too!”
“That’s the way! I will also help you with whatever I can!”
On the verge of tears, Wiz looked at me warmly—
“Then, I have something I would like Kazuma-san to help right now…”
—And said something deeply meaningful.
… By the way, was Wiz’s back glowing?
“For some time now, my back was feeling very hot. If this goes on, I will be incinerated… Please think of a way to let Aqua-sama… It hurts! Aqua-sama, it’s hot! Get up quickly, Aqua-sama!”
“Hey, Aqua, get up! You fool, why are you glowing!? Wiz is going to do something incredible. Stop sleeping!!”
—By the way, the pretty girl doll that I anticipated was a useless thing that must use Explosion magic after moving about for half a day.