At night, after I finished my chores, I just waited for Nidel-dono. Sitting on the chair next to the bed, I looked at the open window. It couldn’t be compared to the chill of the Northern Fortress, but still, the night wind that blew in was considerably colder than before the expedition.
I wonder how long I remained like that before I faintly heard the rustling of wings, and a small bird entered through the window. The moment I saw that figure, my heartbeat sped up and I felt elated.
「Did I make you wait?」
The bird changed into a man clad in black robes, and landed on the floor gently. My heart was making a racket now that Nidel-dono was once again visiting my room and it couldn’t be helped.
I’d truly lost my heart to Nidel-dono.
I unconsciously stood up, closed the window and locked it. Watching my movements in wonder, Nidel-dono uttered 「Ahh」in understanding.
「Sorry, was it cold? My bad, I made you keep the window open.」
「…No.」
That’s not it. I did not want Nidel-dono to escape. I did this, because I thought even if he decided to go home suddenly, it’d still take time to open the window and I could buy some time in the meanwhile. The incident the day before I left for the expedition had stayed in my mind, and I closed the window as if chased by a feeling of impatience.
「Legato, I’d told you before the expedition. Don’t be rash. Yet, what did you wish to do, going all the way to the tower…well, nevermind.」
Nidel-dono complained, but let out a sigh midway. And then, he stretched out his arm to catch my hand, but he seemed to come to himself, and his arm returned to where it was. I, who saw it, held out my hand towards Nidel-dono. Nidel-dono gave a small wry smile and once again stretched out his arm to take my hand.
When the slightly cold and beautiful fingers of Nidel-dono touched my hand, my body went numb, as if an electric current had traveled through it.
「Injuries…there’s none, but it’s rougher than before.」
Nidel-dono lightly stroked my hand while checking it. At that feeling, I felt like grabbing and pulling that hand closer.
「The north is cold and there was a lot of outside work too.」
Also, I didn’t embrace Nidel-dono, and so I didn’t get a chance to touch the lube. Ever since I’d started embracing Nidel-dono, my hands had received benefits of the oil, and its roughness had reduced.
「I see. It must have been difficult.」
I wonder if Nidel-dono used healing magic even on my rough hand, as the place where his fingers touched became warm. I thought of wicked things like I want him to lick like that time he was a cat.’ Nidel-dono must have never thought that I was such a vulgar person.
「Nidel-dono has become a little thinner.」
It had bothered me ever since I’d seen him in the tower. I caught Nidel-dono’s wrist. His wrist easily fitted in my hand. Nidel-dono was thin. Moreover, when work became busy, he’d immediately lose weight. It was an unbearable worry for me.
「Ahh, I got a little engrossed in the research of a new magical device…I’ll take care.」
Nidel-dono gave a wry smile, and took back his hand unaffectedly.
「Are there any other injuries?」
Nidel-dono looked up at me with gentle eyes and asked in a gentle tone.
Seeing that figure in front of me, my chest suddenly tightened in pain.
Why are you so kind? Why do you always repeatedly treat me gently? To such an immature man!?
I couldn’t help but stretch out my hand. I caught Nidel-dono’s arm and pulled it towards me. His thin body fell into my arms. Putting my hands around his body, I hugged him tightly.
The feeling of having Nidel-dono in my arms gave so much satisfaction it hurt. I thought honestly, I want to be like this forever.
I’ve never needed a person so desperately before.
「…What’s wrong?」
Nidel-dono, who’d been caught off guard by my actions cowered, but seeing me still cling onto him, he worried in a perplexed voice. Nidel-dono’s voice was a little unique and felt somewhat gentle. My heart throbbed listening to that voice. Why, perhaps everything about a person seems special when you love them.
「Legato?」
Nidel-dono tugged at my clothes near my waist hesitantly.
I finally raised my head a little and nestled my cheek against Nidel-dono’s and took up those lips. Nidel-don’t stiffened up in surprise, but he couldn’t separate from the lips I’d touched together. Sucking on Nidel-dono’s confused lips, licking, I brought our lips together many times. Devouring them as if to taste them, I covered up everything, even robbing him of his breath.
Till now, I’d only given light playful kisses— because I’d never given such a serious kiss, Nidel-dono must be shocked.
「…Throughout the expedition, I only thought of you.」
Separating the lips that had met deeply— yet at a distance where our lips could brush against each other— I whispered. And then once again I brought our lips together. Nidel-dono who froze, not moving an inch, finally stirred at my words
「…Because Nidel-dono told me to think.」
Whispering as if blaming him, I once again brought our lips together.
「I thought too much…and fell in love with you.」
When I whispered that, Nidel-dono blinked.
「Isn’t that self-suggestion?」
A calm analysis came. I thought, I love Nidel-dono who can even remain calm at such a time. Nidel-dono, unlike me, isn’t someone who gets carried away easily. I respect that nature of his regardless of my love for him.
「That might be the case. But, I can’t think of anything but you anymore.」
I met his lips again, as if to block Nidel-dono’s argument. Nipping Nidel-dono’s lower lip with my lips, I fondled them. When my tongue invaded the slightly open mouth, Nidel-dono ‘s body lightly trembled. His unaccustomed reaction betrayed Nidel-dono’s lack of experience, and my mood improved. I was already acting like a lover, I now even wanted to rule his past.
I found Nidel-dono’s confused tongue and sucked it. Nidel-dono stiffened within my arms and let me do as I pleased. Entangling our tongues, I licked every spot my tongue could reach. I wonder if Nidel-dono wasn’t accustomed to a deep kiss, but he painfully placed a hand on my chest and tried to separate us, but I put in more strength to make sure our lips didn’t move apart. When I even drank the saliva that dribbled from the corners of his mouth, Nidel-dono panted as if short of breath.
「…Nn, Lega-to…Wait-」
I guess his legs gave away, for Nidel-dono, despite attempting to stop me, sunk down and I supported him. I embraced him and moved a little, pushing him down on the bed.
I leaned on top of him and looked down on him, placing my hands on both sides of his face, Nidel dono was still giving chaotic breathes, and looked at me as if troubled with his reddened eyes.
「Nidel-dono.」
I caught his hands that had been casually tossed about and brought them close to my lips, planting a kiss on the back of his hand.
「…I want to devote my heart ——my love to you. Am I too late?」
While dropping a kiss on the smooth back of his hand, I looked into his black eyes, and I, from the bottom of my heart, professed my love for him.
Actually, even if I hadn’t loved Nidel-dono, I would have done the same thing. All through the expedition, I thought of his and my relationship. I thought of Captain Ballam’s words. I even thought of the environment, and I reached this conclusion.
I genuinely liked Nidel-dono as a person, and when I thought about it, I’d decided to sacrifice my body for the nation when I’d become a knight. It wasn’t as if I absolutely needed to leave descendants, and the prosperity of the kingdom was the proof of my life. The people of my house wouldn’t be happy, but I wasn’t the heir. I have the backing of the Royal Palace too, and if I seriously ask, my family would perhaps agree. They were flexible enough.
Everyone around too is expecting us to live together till death does us part. Viewing it objectively, and thinking of it as a whole, I reached the conclusion to stay together with Nidel-dono. The moment I decided that, I felt my body immediately lighten. The knots in my heart came undone and I felt refreshed.
I decided to receive his affection from here on and return as much affection to him as possible.
But now, it was different. I was in a position of professing love to him.
「Nidel-dono, is it impossible?」
When I slyly begged him, he made a troubled face towards me, eyes darting everywhere nervously, and then he gave out a sigh.
「I didn’t say it’s not possible …」
Nidel-dono knitted his eyebrows while making a troubled face, and his expression turned clouded and he lowered his face. I expectantly waited for Nidel-dono’s words. Nidel-dono, with his eyes lowered, maintained a long silence and then muttered under his breath.
「…I also thought only of you during the whole month.」
It was a self-deprecating way of talking.
「…I thought I wouldn’t get to speak with you, touch you anymore. When I thought of it…」
Nidel-dono uttered such words. I silently waited for the continuation of those words, but Nidel-dono gave a small sigh and stopped talking. And then, with his eyebrows still knitted, he turned to face me and muttered as if to admonish me,
「…You’re going to have a lot of trouble.」
When I thought how he was still worried about my future, I felt ticklish enough that my chest hurt.
「Nidel-dono, the effort you put in grabbing the things you wish for with your own hand isn’t trouble.」
When I spoke, Nidel-dono opened his eyes wide.
「Those are words I’d never even thought of. It’s quite like you.」
The creases between Nidel-dono’s eyebrows eased. At the same time, his black eyes turned moist.
Moreover, if that is trouble, I’d happily take all of it by my own volition. For the most part, I probably love suffering.
「…I’ll always tease you.」
「I’ll become great enough that you won’t tease me.」
「…Reliable, aren’t you?」
Nidel-dono laughed at last. The eyes that looked at me turned gentle, and his voice too turned gentle. And then he scrunched up his face and made a face as if he was about to cry. I dropped him kisses while patting his hair to pacify him. Nidel-dono closed his eyes this time and showed an attitude of accepting kisses by his own accord. Nidel-dono, who was refusing to admit defeat, muttered 「…But you, not matter how great you become I’ll still tease you.」 I made the kiss deeper as if to soak up the hoarse voice of Nidel-dono.
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