I couldnât do anything but make that random, buffoonish sound.
â⊠Yeahâ
Futaba-san nods while shedding large drops of tears.
Youâre strong, enduring all thatâ are not the thoughtless words of praise I felt like giving her.
âUh-huh, I see⊠haha, so even that class rep has the heart to throw people asideâŠâ
I surprised myself with how low, how dark the emotions residing in that mumble were.
Yeah, I knew it wouldnât be a fun story. And certainly, I understand what those girls decided was somewhat reasonable. Limited recovery items, combat ability, threshold on survivors. Futaba Meiko who wasnât committing a thing. There couldnât be a better candidate to cast aside at that first juncture.
I was neither hot-blooded compatriot of justice, nor was I a charitable man of the cloth. So in a similar situation, Iâd make the same decision. I could end up, unlike the class rep and Natsukawa-san who hesitated till the very end, spewing uglier, more egotistic than even Satou Aya. Those girls, did nothing wrong.
âLike hell they didnâtâŠâ
Yet, from deep inside my heart, rises a tremendous hatred. Come face to face with a victim of this abdication, an unrelenting contempt, a painful rage sweeps over me.
Because the Futaba-san in front of is that pitiableâ is not the reason. Itâs because, sheâs just like me. Hopelessly incompetent, a useless good-for-nothing.
Â
âIf you werenât some shitty Shaman, but something like a Healer, Iâdâve already left this useless lard and made you a pal.â
Â
Memories of humiliation resurface.\nÂ
âHey, arenât you glad Saitou, your good pal got a shitty vocation. Thanks to Kotarou-kun being a Shaman, I wasnât discarded by Higuchi-samaa, arenât you thinking that while hittinâ away. Man, you really got a great friend there. Might be jealous.â
Â
The filthy sensation of spit on my cheek is dredged up.
Yes, itâs because Iâm powerless that I lost to Higuchi. Itâs because Futaba-san is powerless that she wasnât recognized as in ally. Both were the same, a natural result of our own inability.
But no way was I such an upright person, or some kind of defeatist so as to submissively accept that result.
No way in hell. I donât know about others, but if itâs me, no way I wouldnât rage, wouldnât loathe, wouldnât curseâ
âFutaba-san, letâs team upâ
I gave it to her straight, no roundabout, tempting narration, not a hint of trying to lead her into wanting it like some scam. I wasnât in the mood for hogwash opening remarks, no, I basically just felt like saying it.
ââŠEh?â
Blinking her round overflowing eyes, Futaba-san stares at me. Normally, Iâd be lacking the handsome-points to meet a girlâs eyes, but with the influx of malevolent emotions right now, I could look straight back at those circular irides.
âFutaba-san, I donât think you want to die yet?â
âUh, yeaâŠâ
âAnd of course you arenât thinking itâs so miserable being betrayed and want to commit suicide?â
âN-never!?â[1]
Thatâs good, she still has the energy to instantly deny suicide. If she was chronically depressed or something, Iâd have another boat-load of trouble doing, cheerup and counselling.\nIf she has the will to live, Iâd more than welcome her aboard. Well, not like I have the luxury to pick and choose my allies.
âThen, team up with me. This dungeonâs quite too much for me to capture soloâ
âA-uh, but⊠I⊠canât, do anything⊠So scared, I canât fight⊠Iâll definitely be a pain for you, Momokawa-kun!â
âThatâs fine, I canât fight either. Iâd even bet, my vocation is the weakest in the whole classâ
Itâs really quite pathetic, but here I shall boldly proclaim. For I doth be the true weakest.
â⊠Momokawa-kunâs, vocation?â
âItâs Shaman. Forget offensives, I donât have any defence or evasion either. Top it off, not a thing for getaways eitherâ
Yeah, youâre damn right Higuchi, a Shaman can literally do fuck all, a real shit vocation, for now. I beat the Armor Bear, but that was basically me using up a lifetimeâs worth of luck.
âBut, Momokawa-kun, you saved me!â
âThe herbs were just that good. If you know the recipe, anyone can make itâ
Thereâs no such thing as being extra effective when hand-made by a Shaman. If it was a game, maybe you couldnât make concoctions without that vocation, or alternatively, you could have corrections that, with it, the effects would be many degrees higher but⊠Sorry, none of that here.
My Shaman powers basically amount to âIntuition Pharmacyâ. If the knowledge of effects and recipes got out, theyâd stop being only mine.
On the other hand, a âHealerâ would use their skill itself for recovery effects, a power uniquely available through them. Worst case scenario, theyâd get me to cough up all I knew about herbs, and just off me.
Ah, then I guess, itâs actually better I not tell anyone the types of herbs, and how to make meds from them. Even it Iâm teaming up with Futaba-san. The confidentiality of herb knowledge, is pretty much one of the only factors of my worth.
Wow, Iâm pretty much trash for thinking these things literally in the middle of inviting her. Well, self-reproach aside. Right now, I need to concentrate fully on capturing Futaba-san.
âI really am the weakest, and in this dungeon, the most useless out of anyone. âCause of that, I almost got killed onceâ
\nâYeah, so to not die, weâll do anything. So we can survive, we should use any means we can. So please, Futaba-san. Join me, and letâs challenge this dungeon together.â
âR-really⊠youâre really ok with me?â
âI wouldnât take anyone but Futaba-sanâ
âI, canât do a thing, I really am useless⊠you know?â
âOthers are just overpowered. Every one of them started off so strong itâs unfair⊠but us, weâll keep at it, and definitely become strongerâ
âBut, but IâŠâ
âI wonât betray you. Futaba-san, Iâd never abandon you. Iâm not asking you to believe me right now. Trust, is something you build together after allâ
Was that a bit too pretentious? Certainly, I donât believe I made any blatant lies. I truly believe that I, and only I, wonât abandon the good-for-nothing Futaba-san. Casting her away because sheâs useless wouldnât make me any different from them.
Nevertheless, that the possibility of me leaving her to run away by myself is one I canât let go of, is again, true. No, depending on the situation, itâs pretty much a yes.
Thatâs why, in truth, thereâs no conviction or meaning behind my words. People like Souma-kun or Tendou-kun could surely make these gutsy words their reality⊠but for a normal person like me they were baseless.