I felt as if my head was being physically swung around, but fortunately, the person I could hurl my questions at, was here right now.
ă⊠Were you the one who wrote this, Oria?ă
Oria tried to stubbornly keep silent and avert his eyes from me, but after heâd been persuaded (threatened?) by Ru Xiang who told him to ăanswer the questionă, Oria hanged his head.
ăY-yes. Thatâs rightâŠă ăThis⊠What on earthâă
I hesitated, unable to form the words I wanted to ask.
ăExplain, Oriaă
ăE-err⊠in short, itâs a novel. I used people in the academy as the modelsâŠă
Itâs obvious that wasnât all. There had to be a reason why it has a pretty obvious resemblance to my memories of the ăactual gameă .
ăOria, do you have memories of a past life?ă
ăâŠeh?ă
ăNo? Then, what on earthâŠă ăI(boku)⊠No, I(watashi), uhm, actually have a slightly unusual magical aptitudeâŠă
ăMagic? Then, donât tell me, you can tell peopleâsăfateă ?ă
ă??ă
When Oria sent me a puzzled expression, I stared back with an expression that mustâve been awfully stiff.
ăFate? No, that kind of magic isâŠă
ăBut, youâre writing the knowledge you acquire through magic here, right?ă
ăY-yes. Thatâs rightă
ăIsnât this in other wordsăfateă?ăThere might be various ways to call it, but isnât this honestly what it should roughly be..?ă
ăN-no, an exaggeration like that isâŠă
ăButâŠă
Hung up on a thought that came to mind, I mustâve lost my composure. Oria had gotten completely pressured by my intensity that seemed to press him hard for answers. Only after Ru Xiang stepped in, sayingăLycoris-sempai, may I bother you for a moment?ă, did I finally realize this.
ăAh⊠Iâm sorryă
ăI donât know why Sempai keeps calling the things written here as ăfateă. But at the very least, the contents havenât materialized right now. I feel it shouldnât be calledăfateăă
With Ru Xiangâs well-organized and gentle spoken words, I was able to calm down a little.
ăErhm, thatâs probably, because Iâ no, uhm, because thereâs someone whoâs going against fateă
ăBut, is fate something that can be gone against? ă
ăâŠâŠâŠâŠIâm sorry. I got confusedă
In fact, after I proceeded to read the notebook, my brain got awfully confused.
ăOriaâs magic is seeing ăpossibilitiesă concerning a personâs lifeă
ăPossibilitiesâŠ?ă
ăYes. Itâs possible to mostly see the past and, at times, the future, but visions of the past and visions of the future are strictly different. The difference lies in seeing a number of varying possibilities. What Lycoris-sempai read was just one story written in the notebook. Please, try reading the next stories as wellă
Under Ru Xiangâs prompting, I opened the notebook once more. Written next after Lily and Wolfâs story was⊠some kind of love story between me and Art. Even though Iâd only skimmed through the story, that had been all I could bear to read of that.
ăEh? What is thisă
A story like this was naturally not in the game. I attempted to go on reading the page after that and, this time, it was a story about my friendship with Lily⊠or, so I thought, the situation was looking ominous. At a scene where Lily was was going to kiss me, I closed the book and held my head.
ă??????ă
What I read was probably no less than a tenth of a page, but it packed quite the punch.
The notebook that has now been placed on my handsâŠ
⊠was clearly at the top ofăstrange thingsă in my life so far. The notebookâs cover was a leather that could be found anywhere, but the part that hinted that the contents would be so confusing that itâd defy description, was nowhere to be found.
ăUmmâŠ.ă , the creator of this chaos raised his voice.
ăIâm sorry. That is⊠I didnât mean any harm! Somehow or the other, I felt bad that these poor unpicked possibilities would end up disappearing without a trace, soâŠ!ă
With his slender arms, Ru Xiang poked the back of the energetically explaining Oria with a thump.
ăIâm sorry, itâs a hobby. Itâs my hobby, I canât get myself stop. The story between Dorm Head Wolfgang and Liliam-san is actually my favorite tragedy⊠And, the story between Arutad-san and Dorm Head Lycoris with a childish boy and an older onee-sama seemed really nice⊠As for the story between Dorm Head Lycoris and Liliam-san, how do they put it â a âmanâs fantasyââŠ?ă
Once Oria was done talking about his excessively broad range of preferences like heâd been in a trance, he spoke with a somewhat faraway look.
ăSince way back, itâs been my hobby to write down the stories that interest me when I see theăpossibilitiesăof the surrounding people. Every time itâs found out, Iâd get kicked out no matter how seriously I did my job and had to make work as a strayâŠă
ăPlease learn from your experiences alreadyă
Oria had tears filling the corner of his eyes at my straight up retort, but he hadnât said âIâll do that, Iâll stop alreadyâ. This was hopeless.
ăTo begin with, isnât this misuse of magic?ă
ăIt might not seem like it, but he did get some kind of coaching from the association regarding his use of magică
Ru Xiang wore a wry a smile as he explained that Oria was allowed to use magic that only related to being Ru Xiangâs guard.
However, in Oriaâs country of birth â which was a small country, different from Ru Xiangâs â there wasnât an organization like the association or an institution like this academy. Because of that, it seems Oria had barely any control of his magic and invoking magic pretty often had nothing to do with his own will.
With his head hanging low like he was apologizing, Oriaâs behavior seemed admirable at first glance, but I couldnât quite gush forth a tolerant attitude when I consider the notebookâs existence which was sort of the ăembodiment of chaosă.
ăâŠat any rate, what Oria sees are nothing but things that wonât happen in tandem, so even if they areăpossibilitiesă, itâs impossible for them to be all just oneăfateă. Rather, if there had been a magical user who could accurately see the past or future, he wouldnât be able to live with this much freedom, donât you agree?ă
âThatâs trueâ, I thought, while feeling as though the string that I nearly had in my hands was gradually slipping away.
Iâm acquainted with possibilities. I guess itâs like knowing the events regarding a parallel world. Like, had Wolf lost his father in the poisoning incident, or had Shade been raised under the care of Uncle Narcissus, maybe Oria wouldâve been able to learn about a world with such an incredibly frightening possibility by now.
I sort of understood his peculiar magic now. But it didnât become the key to solving my question ăregarding the relationship of this world and the gameă like I thought it would.
ăâŠOria, do words likeăYandereă or ăPC gamesă ring a bell?ă
ă? Noă
Since Oria, who shook his head with a care, showed interest, I tried giving a little explanation. The explanation itself regarding computers was difficult, so I put suitable emphasis on what yandere and games were. Explaining ăFlagă,ăbranchesă, orămulti-endăwas difficult, but I used so called stories that branches out with choices as examples. (1)
It seems Oria had a strong imagination and somehow managed to understand, after hearing my explanation, his eyes gradually brightened up.
ăIncredible! That seems pretty fun! The concept ofăbranchesă is good! If thatâs the case, you can weave a lot of possibilities into one and differ from the usual novels! Even the thing you call ăyandereă sounds awesome!ă
Itâs wonderful that he seemed happy, but it doesnât seem like Oria knew about theăactual gameă .
Disappointed as I was, before me, Oria continued chattering on excitedly.
ăI definitely want to be reborn in a world that has thisăgameă!!ăThen with all these possibilities, Iâll incorporate theăyandereă into theăgameăand makeâă
The unrepentant Oria had been speaking while touting the notebook that he seemed to treasure when Ru Xiang nailed a splendid elbow strike at his servantâs solar plexus.
And then I muttered, overcome with surprise.
ăReâŠbornâŠ?ă
ăAah, is it not a too common concept in this country? In our country, we have the concept of reincarnationâŠă
Ru Xiang had kindly given me an explaination, but I knew that even without hearing it. If anything, I was a living testament to that.
Thatâs right. There was reincarnation.
I canât claim that I didnât consider my example when Oria claimed the possibility that heâd be reborn on earth â in Japan.
In this regard, whatâs to say that Oria wonât be reborn in Japan long before I died? I mean, thereâs no guarantee that reincarnation will always follow the time axis. And, will Oria be the one to make the game by relying on his past lifeâs memories? Will I play it?
Was the resemblance of the events between the game and this world patterned from the knowledge he obtained with his own magic â in the style of a vision of the past, after all?
Itâs as if someone whispered âThatâs correctâ, right then. At that exact moment, I recalled the title of the ăactual gameă.
The gameâs title was ăDeja Vuă.
Even though the word floated in my mind numerous times when I was young, I couldnât connect it with the gameâs title until this very moment.
The accepted theory among fans was that the game was named after the game system wherein the player must keep playing numerous times to arrive at the happy end.
In the game, if, say, the first round had a tragedy that couldnât be avoided, in the second round, it could be avoided with a newly appearing choice. It was such a system that seemed as through a simple deja vu was coming to save the heroineâs future.
The specification was unpopular with the users who preferred seeing only the happy endings, but I rather liked it. When you know the tragic, painful episodes, youâll be able to enjoy the happy endings more.
But the truth wasâŠ
ăDeja Vuă was referring to the famed creatorâs deja vu. In other words, his past lifeâs memories, perhaps?
Then, were the people in our world the originals and the game characters modelled after us?
Itâs preposterous. Thereâs no way to verify it. But, thereâs no way to deny it either.
ăâŠwouldnât you forget your past life if youâre reborn?ă
ăThrough will power!ăIâll remember!ă
Itâs absurd.
But, based from my experience, you can recall past memories when you connect this lifeâs knowledge with the pastâs. In my case, that knowledge had been ăWolfă. In Oriaâs case, what if thatâs when I was telling him about ăPC gamesă, ăflagă, or ăYandereă just now?
As I sank into silence, Oria seemed to have misunderstood somehow.
ăUhm, Iâm sorry. I went overboard⊠Err⊠I hope you wonât misunderstand me, but itâs not like I thought, âif reality was like this, it would be greatâ. I do like theăworld of possibilitiesăthat have different facets, but thatâs because I can more vividly understand the value of things I have in real life⊠I canât explain it properly, butâŠă
Oria shrank, looking a little insecure.
I understood a little of what he said. After all, I was happy right now. I had Wolf, Shade, Lily, and Father, and I knew about Momâs smiling face.
I could meet Duke Ranunculas whenever I wanted to. I got letters from Crinum and Aunt saying they were doing well, too.
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It feels vividly clear to me that the value of what I have now was more prevalent when I think of what I didnât get. Itâs like when the gameâs happy ending looked lovelier after seeing the bad endings.
Finally, I could smile at Oria.
I donât know the answer. Just what I thought might be the answer. Thereâs no way to really know for sure.
But there was one thing I can do. And that, was to live to the fullest.