Winter break is the only thing left after the test is over.
Today, I was borrowing a book at Saitoās house, when something caught my attention and I asked her about it.
[Thanks for the bookā¦ By the way, do you have any plans for winter break?]
[No, not really. I donāt have anything planned in particular and Iām just going to read books at home]
I had a feeling itāll be like that, and I was right.
Being just as expected, I wryly smiled at the way she spends her time.
[I donāt have many friends to play with, and I refuse invitations from boys, so I canāt help it]
She is very cold and wary, so it was easy to imagine that the boys who had invited her with faint hope were cut down quickly.
I donāt know how I can ask her out. I donāt think Iāll be able to recover if I were to be cut down like that.
[ā¦Do they really want to spend time with me?]
[Well, I guess theyāre trying to close the distance between you and them]
[Iām not interested in datingā¦]
I felt bad for the people who tried asking her out. If they heard that, theyād be in tears.
[I had a feeling that might be the case, but you donāt have any interest at all?]
[No, I donāt. I canāt imagine dating with people who have ulterior motives]
There are only a few people who can continuely ask her out with her cold attitude.
If they really liked her, they would have second thoughts about her if they heard her response.
As a result of being categorized, maybe the ones who talk to her are considered as bad guys in her eyes.
[ā¦Well, there are people who recognize you properly and invite you out, so donāt be too dismissive. You know who doesnāt have ulterior motives, right?]
[Yeah, I know what you mean. Youāre different, right? You didnāt seem to be interested in me from the start]
[Wellā¦]
Iāve had an urge to pat her head a few times, but itās more of an urge to pet a small and cute animal. I have no desire to do anything else to her.
If I had any ulterior motives, she wouldāve noticed right away, and ignored me.
She marked me as a safe person, so she stayed with me. If I show any form of ill intent, sheāll be gone in no time.
I wasnāt particularly interested in having a girlfriend, and itās a matter of life and death if I wasnāt allowed to borrow more books. So I donāt want to change our current relationship.
[Thatās why I trust you]
[Well, thanks]
Iām not unhappy with her perception that I am a harmless man, but Iām not sure how I should feel as a man.
[ā¦So, Iāve been wondering, do you have any plans?]
[No, not at all. Iāll just stay at home like you]
[Then why did you ask?]
[No, I was wondering how weāre going to be borrowing and lending books. Since we arenāt going to meet up at school, is there a temporary solution for the time being?]
Iāve always been an indoor person and donāt bother to go out if I donāt have to.
Iād love to read the series, but itās too much trouble going out to get it.
[I see, thatās rightā¦]
At my question, she blinked her eyes and I think she lowered her eyebrows just slightly.
[ā¦. Thatās fine, butā¦ would you like to spend some time with me at my place?]
[Haa?]
She was thinking of something, and said something outrageous.
I look at her, but she looks indifferent and unconcerned.
[I said, would you like to spend some time with me at my place]
[No, I heard what you said butā¦]
As expected, my ears didnāt hear wrong, Iām still a healthy high school student. Rather, I want to know how she got that crazy idea.
[You can read all the books at my house, and you donāt have to bring them back]
Well, thatās true.
If itās her house, thereās a lot of books, and if Iām there, I can read a lot of them. It would be worth going out, butā¦
[No, but, you knowā¦]
Yes, sheās a girl. If we had been the same gender, I would accept no hesitation, but this is the opposite gender.
I know she suggested this because she trusts me.
Iām not exactly conscious of it, and Iām not planning on doing anything weird, but the idea of a boy and a girl spending time in the same room is kind of awkward.
[Are you sure? You can read all you wantā¦]
She said something attractive, as if sheās teasing me about it.
If she says that to me, itāll make it harder to decide.
[ā¦Iād like to talk some more about my impressions]
We had exchanged our impressions of books in the past, but since we were outside, we couldnāt talk for very long. I guess weāre both book lovers and wanted to talk more about them.
When she lowered her eyebrows and expressed her desire in a small voice, there was no way I could refuse. I had a lot on my mind, but when she said that, I had no choice but to nod.
[ā¦ Okay. Iāll do it]
[Yes, I understand]
Her mouth relaxed at my reply, and her eyes lit up.
She smiled and turned away casually, and it was kind of hard to look at her directly.