Isekai Shoukan Makikomu Ijousha Chapter 1




Chapter 1: Damn Goddess
When I came toĀ I was standingĀ inĀ a weird place with black walls and floor.
And……
ā€œAļ½ž, annoying…… This is so troublesome, how did this role get forced onto me anyways………Just because you’re my superior doesn’t give you the right to…… ah! I think I’ve just gotten a good idea. To the guy I’m supposed to deal with, I can just give him a terrible power that will destroy the worldĀ then I’ll never receive any troublesome work ever! Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Ā  Yaha, I must be a genius! Now thenā€¦ā€
In front of me was a gaudy woman who was applying something that looked like cosmetics on herĀ face and hair whileĀ holding a hand mirror in her hand and complaining aboutĀ something dangerous. ā€œIs she a gal from somewhere? Puuuuuh, wow, she looks good, but isnĀ“t she really popularā€ Although I nearlyĀ said so, I thoughtĀ that those words are impolite for a first meeting, so I held them back.
ā€œAļ½ž, you…eh….. the plain virgin. Because I’d like to give you a skill, sendĀ you off to aĀ different world at once….well…… now, tell me your name! When I don’t know your name, I can’t give youĀ a skill. You’re like a very dull NPC, my one second is incomparably precious compared to your one second as an insignificant humanĀ sinceĀ I’m a pretty pretty goddess,Ā so let’s do it quickly!ā€
With eyes that were looking at me as if I were a trashy bug, she commanded.
This gaudy woman is saying some very inexcusable things. I mean it’s not like she’s certain I’m a virgin!! ……Although I am one!
I“m getting transferred to a different world?  She, a goddess? What absurd things to talk about.
HowĀ doĀ parents educate kidsĀ these days……I want to see her parents’ faces! Really.
IfĀ I knew that I was going toĀ be transferred to a different world, I should haveĀ taken a cup of instant noodles…… Aļ½ž, I’d like to eat ramen with lots of pepper on it.
ā€œDon’t stayĀ silent, tell me your name quickly!! I have no time to spend on a guy like you after all! Now that you know, tell me your name!ā€
The self-proclaimed goddess scratches her head with her right hand with all her might, her frustration obvious, andĀ raises her voice in anger.
Does that self-proclaimedĀ goddess not know the word graceful? She should try asking againĀ after she acts likeĀ a more graceful woman.
No matter how many times you look at it, the vicinity here is black, black, more black. There isĀ nothing other than black. Ah, right, there was that one gaudy woman.
I don“t want look at that eyesore, so I will keep her out of my sight.
Since a little while ago she’s been noisily chattering, but I’m not particularly botheredĀ about it. Therefore, will I let her chatter until she’sĀ satisfied. Ah, aren’t I a gentleman.
ā€œAļ½žļ½žļ½žļ½žļ½žļ½ž! IĀ“m irritated!!! Make it quick!!!! I want sleep already! IfĀ you aren’t transferred to the otherĀ world, I can’t getĀ out of this room!! Therefore tell me your name!! ………A, I might just transfer you without an ability if you waste any more of my time, you know. It’s not like I have to give you an ability. Yeah! I can wait till next time to destroy the world. Then, ifĀ you ignore me any more, I’ll just transfer you straightā€
The self-styled goddess continued giving an angry wordsĀ in frustration, she seemed to have thought of something suddenly and floatedĀ a nihilistic smile.
Aļ½ž, she started again. So noisy.
Eh? Isn’t this rather ugly for… rather does she want to sleep so badly…. Should I at least give her an answer? It isn’t good toĀ ignore her muchĀ longer. Like my dead grandma also said, reply toĀ the words of a person properly. Uh, I’ll do that.
It’s not because I never want to be incompetent. Really.
ā€œā€¦ā€¦Saginomiya Ioriā€
ā€œEeh!? Wait! Ā Your voice is too small, I can’tĀ hear it! Taking off that mask and speaking clearly is common courtesy right!? Right!?ā€
………………………… ShouldĀ I beat up this fellow?
………… Well, I’ll just endure until I getĀ my ability. Afterwards, I’ll beat her up.
As I curled oneĀ hand up into a fist, I took off the mask as asked.
ā€œā€¦ā€¦Well, excuse me. Once more, IĀ“m Saginomiya Iori. There’s something I want to ask about……have my other classmates been transferred by you?ā€
ā€œWell, Saginomiya Iori is it? It’s a wonderfully plain name……. It’s soĀ plain that I might instead remember it! Oh? Aļ½ž, that. I’m only in charge of you. Your classmates probably went to the other godessesĀ Fake BoobsĀ and Drag QueenĀ and also goddess Bitch. Anyway, now that I know your name, I’ll give you a skill.ā€
The self-proclaimed goddess turns her gaze away to the ceiling and as if thinking of something mumbles: ā€œUh… that and thatā€¦ā€
WitnessingĀ that from the side, I concluded she’s a weirdo.
Well, this, this and……. if only you had this you can destroy the world… Aļ½ž, this too. I must beĀ the most generous and caring virtuous goddess forĀ sparing my precious time to teach asĀ ugly a man as you. Other than those skills you’ve already had from the time you’ve been on Earth, the skillsĀ I’m giving you now can immediately be used. The skills that we give are called inherent skills. The skills you gain afterĀ being transferred to the different world be used are acquired skills. Well, because the acquired skills are only skills which are leftover trash, you need to thank me who gave you skills forever! Since it’ll be a problem to me as well if the skill wasn’t granted to you successfully, check them now.ā€
During the conversation, the self-proclaimed goddess expression kept on alternating between angry and triumphant. The special skill of this self-proclaimedĀ goddess is the hundred faces!! Possibly……
The gaudy goddess seems to have given me quite splendidĀ skill. For the total collapse of the world.
Since it’s come to this, I’ll check them out. Or thought so, realising I had no idea how to do so. Explain it properly, you useless goddess.
And I noticed from our conversation earlier, does this goddess have a grudge against other goddesses? She called them considerably terrible names. Well,Ā not that I can do anything in the first place.
Right, right, I was going to beat her up after I received the skills but there’s a change of plans. Isn’t that wonderful, miss self-proclaimed goddess?Ā I’ve decided to beat youĀ up right before I’m transferred. Ah, since the skill mightĀ disappear when I anger the goddess,Ā shouldĀ I beat her up to the limit?
ā€œEmmー, Goddess? How do I confirm my skills…?ā€
I asked her awkwardlyĀ after repressing my anger towards this self-proclaimed goddess with effort.
ā€œYou don’t even know that? This is why you are still a virgin…… you should thinkĀ up your status in your head. Aļ½ž, will I neverĀ encounter the gentle good-looking man of my dreams……… haaā€¦ā€
When I talk with this gaudy woman, do I have to hear the unnecessary thingsĀ which haveĀ no relation to the conversation at all? Or rather, a woman like you will never have an encounter like that.Ā Ever.
Well, it doesn’t concern me.Ā Now status……
Status
Saginomiya Iori 17 years old
Level 1
Race: Human
MP: 500/500
Defense: 100
Magic: 100
Luck: 10
Skills:Ā  Sword arts, Spirit possession, Body strengthening, Alchemy, Space magic, Ice magic, Vampirezation, Cooking, All language comprehension, Appraisal, Disguise
Title: Person summoned to aĀ different world
Wow, aĀ status is really floating before my eyes.
Oho………huh? Looks like there’s a skillĀ called vampireization here……….wait, normally people are transferred to a different world to subjugate the demon king… right? Won’t I die? …….Ā not that worrying would help.
ā€œHey, Goddess-san, I’ve confirmed them but as aĀ trial… can IĀ try outĀ the ice magic? To use it I probably have to imagine it right?ā€
ā€œYou seem to have gotten themĀ properly, yes, yes. IĀ never fail. However just to confirm, spirit possession? All except for the sword art skill are skills which I gave you! Thank me. Well, ice magic is good. Now get that over with and leave for the other world.ā€
If you already know what skills I have why bother having me check them again? Ah, not good. Endure the anger just a little longer, me.
ā€œYes, yes, I understand. Hmm, here I go.ā€
(Idiot, I’ve waited for this moment!! Since whenĀ I attack, I may have my skills taken awayĀ by this goddamn goddess. So I’ll eitherĀ have to disguise it as a magical accident or do it right before the transfer. SinceĀ I canĀ“t takeĀ this anymore, I’m choosing the former. That’s whyĀ ice magic. Looking howĀ that goddamn goddess seems soĀ particular about her appearance, I’ll lower the temperature of this room with ice magicĀ untilĀ it snows and we get frostbite or herĀ skin becomes a little rough.Ā This is theĀ biggest revenge can be done now. ……It’s rather pathetic if I say so myself, but it is better than nothing. Is it my luck that herĀ clothes exposes a lot of her skin? Skin, become rough!! Roughen uup!!)
ā€œTemperature, fall!! Snow, fall!ā€
As soon as those words were mentioned while imagining a heavy snowstorm, the temperature fell suddenly and snow fluttered down inĀ large quantities. At the same time, I felt something exiting my body.Ā That might be the feelingĀ of consuming magic. It feels a bit like self-destruction when I felt the biting cold but it’s a success isn’t it?
Huh? Doesn’t she feel cold at all? Eh??
ā€œA, ehm. Goddess-saan, isn’t it cold?ā€
I ask the self-proclaimed goddess in aĀ timid tone.
ā€œHeeļ½ž, don’t you have talent for magic? Well, I, who gave you such a talent isĀ even greater! Hmm? I am a goddess, Ā it’s impossible for me to feel cold. Are you worried about me? By any chance, have you fallen in love with me? I’ll have to refuse, sadly. I only accept ikemens. When you becomeĀ good-looking come try again. ā˜†ā€
……………Annoying.
Damn annoying goddess, shall I beat you up seriously? Let’s beat her up right now.
Before beating her up, because of the falling snow, my glasses fogged upĀ and I can’t see.Ā Should I take off my glasses then beat her up?
ā€œAaaļ½ž ice magic can’t be used in these kinds of situations. Okay, let’s beat her up already. Growl, my right handā€
His forelock wasĀ lifted with his left hand a little, glasses taken off, and his bangsĀ shaken to the sides.Ā after arranging his hair, Iori’s complete appearance was reflected in goddess’s eyes.
ā€œYou, a virgin, wants to beat me up? A goddess and aĀ symbol of beauty……for……oh?ā€
After taking off the mask, was my rarely seen face.
The momentĀ theĀ goddess who had called me a virgin, dull and other awful things saw my face, she became terribly confused shouting ā€œEh?! Eeh?! Who are you?!ā€ with a surprised face. Her cheeks are flushing pink… must be the snow.
Wait, wait, wait, didn’t I just tell you my name?
And haven’t you been calling me virgin? My soul had been painfully shaven off for it’s plainness so shall I shut you up now?
As I approach the goddess to beat her up, the goddess was mumbling something incoherent with bright red cheeks and slobber on her face, ā€œEh? You’re comingĀ towards me……. is it a kiss? A love confession? Wa-wait…it is still too early… we should take it step by step…right? Right?…Guheheheheheā€¦ā€
My appearance used to be praised quite a lot a long time ago, but for it to be useful here……… I should make good use this situation. Uh-huh, I’ll do that. Now that that’s decided, it’s time for my revenge againstĀ this damn goddess.
With a sinister smile on my face, I walked right below the goddess.
Well, it is time for punishment. If I lose, I try again. Hmm……… how bad should my payback be?
ā€œā€¦Hey, you damn goddess with the abusive mouth, what’s wrong? Aren’t you acting all suspicious and all? Where has all your foul vocab gone? Hey? Hey?ā€
She’s not saying anything? Not that I mind and f.y.i. I’m no masochist.
Huhahaha, probably this goddess has hardly talked with anyĀ men. Since I know, I will attack her weak point thoroughly. You suck? Ā Trash? Virgin? Say something. Only when I get to prick her sore spots will it be worth it ……Wait a minute, virginity has nothing to do with this.
ā€œYo…you…… let me rephrase that, when you arrived you wore strange glasses and I……am so! I must have beenĀ mad! It’s all your glasses’s fault! Ah… but I have said terrible things to you……what should I do so that you’llĀ forgive me? ……Ah, I have a good idea. I devote myself to you for the rest of my life!! I will give you all of me!! Okay? That’s why… please forgive me?ā€
…………What is this sudden change of tactics?
She must be scheming something. Just a while ago sheĀ was spitting abuse and looking at me as if I were trash, staying far away from me. But now she’s forcingĀ her chest onto my body……this useless goddess must have gone crazy.
And also, what good idea?Ā Who the heck would want a gaudy woman like her as a servant.
That’s fine though, let’s resume with the avenging. Since I’m a man who pays someone back twice as bad.
ā€œHey, Goddess-sanā€
ā€œY-yes??ā€
The damn goddess was nervously fidgeting around, her face facing the floor. The moment her attention was directed to me, I use the body strengthening skill and move behind the goddess in an instant.
For myself who had once a bout of chuuni-syndrome, there exists no walls in my imagination!! It’s not impossible to useĀ the skills if you know what it needs.
ā€œHuh!?ā€
Seeing thatĀ I had disappeared from her sight, the goddess raised a stupid cry. I ignored that and hugged the body of the slender goddess gently from behind.
ā€œHey, first,Ā won’tĀ you tell me your name? Although calling you Goddess isn’t bad, there’s still some distance between us? I’m sadā€¦ā€¦ā€
I whispered in her ear. Just like how a lover would whisper sweet nothings to his beloved. In addition I changed my tone to sound like the sweet timbre an actor.
By the way, this flirtation line was taken from a mid-day drama we watchedĀ when Kaede came to my house for some reason last Saturday, where the male part was in a scene of a liaison. Can you try saying these words to Kaede? If you don’t I’ll share with the whole class Iori’sĀ #*?! and @#$& as well as other stuff like that. So she threatened,Ā so I ended up in this plight where I had to repeat it endlessly till I can perfectly copy it.
ā€œļ½žļ½žļ½ž!?Eh… emm …I-I-I’m Rifia! My friends call me Rifi… and …I want you to call me thatā€¦ā€¦ā€
The damn goddess/Rifia became really red in her face and looked down. This is super cutee…….oops, pleasant, pleasant. There is such a revenge too. Am I an S because of this? Surely not. Or is it an M?
That…… damn goddess, her character changes way too drastically. Is this the rumored Choroin? ( Tl note: Choroin is a easy peasy heroine who falls in love with the mc immediately after their encounter like Stella from Rakudai Kishi no Eiyuutan)
ā€œSo… Rifia is your name, a lovely name. Rifi is too cute…….you’re so cute I want to just eat you upā€¦ā€
I whispered in her ear and blow on her ear softlyĀ as the finale.
That was quite the performance. If I was older by aboutĀ 10 years old, I might have been chosen to star in that actor’s role!
Well, do I leave her soon? Still, this goddess has a uselessly big chest… Oops, banish those evil thoughts.Ā Nothing else was weirdĀ except for theĀ surrealism ofĀ a small man embracing a huge woman from behind.
I slowly separated my arms from Rifia after a few seconds of hugging. But when I did,
ā€œā€¦ā€¦Nnā€
suddenly my lips were stolen. Rifia’s armsĀ wereĀ twining around my neck.
The momentĀ I separated my hands which had embraced her closely, the goddess turned around,Ā brought her lips close to my face and kissed me.
Hmmm?? That’s odd? Where did I make a mistake? Did I say the lines differently? No no, I should have completely copied it, getting it wrong is impossible.
…. After that it should’ve ended but I got kissed instead………huh!?
ā€œNnn……puhaa, haa, haa. It makesĀ me happy that you have feelings for me, but to tell you the truth I’m not too fond of gaudy women like you…. FranklyĀ I like neat and clean cute girls better. So…? huh? Nnnn!!ā€
Since I was out of breath, I ended up grasping the shoulders trying to put distance between myself and the cause of my lack of oxygen, the goddess’s lips. But once again, her lips met my lips.
……Dangerous, dangerous. When I tried dissing her to lower my image and feelings of like for me, it seems it had backfired on me instead.
Is it just my imagination or are those cheeks drooping in pleasure? Please let it be my imagination!!
……Haa! Right, wouldn’t the lines of a male lead in the middle of a liaison be very useful now?Ā Remember.
…………………Ah, that reminds me, that cheating bastard divorced his wife to stick to his lover……
Daaammmnn, didn’t I just made the perfect mistake……what to do now…….
ā€œNnn, puhaa……Iori-kuun, am I not to your liking? Let me become your perfect woman.Ā Okay? Okay? I can become exactly how you like your women to be.ā€
Wanting to talk to me, the goddess finally separatedĀ her lips. Hey hey, when did myĀ favorability increaseĀ so much? Even a Choroinn in an gal game would take a little more time.
……………Looks like it’s too late but, oh well. I will escape from reality, now send me off to the other world. Yup.
ā€œFirst, canĀ you sendĀ me to the different world soon? …W-well, for your sake!!ā€
Saying such anĀ unreasonable thing. It’s totally for my own sake.
ā€œUmm, although I want to be here forever with Iori, but I’ll listen to Iori since you said so. Please wait a moment, because I will also go to the otherĀ world too! Ah, because I don’t want Iori to die, I’ve given you an additional skill! See you and have a safe trip!ā€
Rifia has given me an additional skill with a wholly smiling face……Is there a way to make someone hate you?
ā€œā€¦ā€¦Aaā€
After all that I finally leave for the other world. After Rifia-san’s ā€œHave a safe tripā€ sheĀ added softlyĀ ā€œmy dear husbandā€ or was it my imagination?
… how did things turn out this way? I muttered looking at the black ceilings, my body wrapped in light the moment Rifia finished her words.\n