This is chapter is unedited.
Someone is stroking my hair,
Gently, just so gently, he just keeps going.
Sometimes, kisses as light as feathers can be felt.
To my hair, forehead and temple.
But that voice still sounds Ā very gentle. It sounds so dear, so precious, as he repeatedly whispers that name.
Somehow, Iām getting sad.
With that personās overflowing gentleness, my heart feels full.
The bottom of my chin is being tickled with his fingertips.
Iām scared of breaking such a gentle moment.
But, if I donāt wake up. Wake up.
When I opened my eyes a little, the transcendental beauty was looking into me.
When that person saw me, he smiled as if heās so happy from the bottom of his heart. itās a smile that could melt.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦Itās Ferdinand, huh. Yup.
Uhm, uhm, what has happened for me to end up like this?
Thatās right, I got sold out by grandma.
And then Ferdinand did something naughty to meā¦.
I raised my slumped body up.
Huh? But Iām still wearing my pajamas. So is Ferdinand.
I immediately sweeped my arms across my body.
[ā¦.Please donāt run away. I beg you.]
[I will Ā not do anything that you will hate. I promise. Please believe me.]
Suddenly, my heart started beating wildly.
Iām being trapped in a situation I shouldnāt be in!
Uh, uhmm, what was I supposed to do again?
[Do you hate being touched by me?]
Ferdinandās eyebrows frowned.
Ferdinandās voice was shaking when he asked. I was shocked.
Ferdinand is seriously scared. About being hated by me.
I asked myself of whether I hate Ferdinand or not.
thatās what I thought. But it might be different. Thatās not the case.
I might have simple been afraid.
When I hesitantly shook my head a little, Ferdinand breathed out deeply and placed a little effort into the hand which turned my body around.
Ferdinand stayed still for a while. Then, he lightly kissed my hair.
[I want you to give me permission to touch your body. I want to be connected to you through this bodyā¦ Please.]
[You donāt have to do anything. Just stay still.]
He covered my palm with his from above. And just like that, heās ma.s.saging the tip of my thumb.
The hand that came slowly into the cuffs of the pajamas strokes my arm.
Ferdinand exhaled warm breaths on my ears.
As he slowly strengthens his hold, my back starts to feel tight.
Ferdinand kisses my neck.
When I let out a weird voice, Ferdinand laughed a little.
Then he repeatedly plants kisses on different spots.
At the back of my ears, on my hair, my neck, shoulders.
A hand that enters my clothes slowly strokes my belly.
Even though itās not my name. Even though itās different.
Just why is it that my chest hurts?
My heart beats so fast itās hammering my chest.
[Please close your eyes. Donāt think about anything and just please feel it.]
The voice whispering in my ears sound so hypnotic.
My body canāt move and I canāt resist, I wonder why.
My legs are being caressed on top of my pajama. A hand gently crept under my outer wear and brushed my skin.
It does not feel good, it shouldnāt be.
Iāve especially become familiar with these gentle hands.
I wonder why, Iām being strange.
My body became hot by itself and my breath was getting rough.
Ferdinandās hand slipped inside my pants.
Nonono, itās not alright. Itās definitely, absolutely not alright!
Wai, hold on, where are you, with those fingersā¦!
Even though I was touched at the bathroom before! But not in this kind of straightforward way! Such a, good, ah, feeling, is, ah, bad.
His waist is pressed tightly on me. Hard. Somethingās. .h.i.tting me.
Why, I canāt anymore. Iām at my limiā¦
I heard a sound so loud that it forcibly brought back my slowly fading consciousness.
When I turned around with surprise, I saw Alex with an angry look standing on the kicked door.
After calling his name with watery eyes, Alexās frown became deeper.
I hurriedly rolled out of the bed. As I walked a bit, I got dizzy that I tripped and almost fell. Alex rushes over and holds me to supports me.
[Youā¦ are Chibi arenāt you?]
Alex looks into my face as if looking for something.
I nodded my head repeatedly.
I tightly clung on to that chest.