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Own Space (4)
“First, we start with the main road and turn it on from sunset to sunrise. Once people get used to it, we might be able to hold a night festival.”
The administrators in the back row wanted to express their opinions, and they simmered with them, but no one dared to interrupt between.
Lily had a serious expression, as if lost in thought. “Using resin candles can save a lot of money.  Management should be done by the residents closest to the streetlight. Installing it is beneficial in many ways, so no one will refuse.”
Hans crinkled his nose. “No matter how much I think about it, we don’t have a budget to do so. We need to keep some items for road maintenance.”
“I’m going to use my personal money.”
“Personal money…  Are you saying you want to pay for it?”
As Lily nodded slowly, Hans’s eyes turned into saucers.
The duchess’ personal money was free for her use whether she wanted to spend it all on dresses, shoes, or jewelry.
She wants to use it?
Lily paused at Hans’s reaction.
Come to think of it… He returned everything that was brought for our wedding.
Her face reddened slightly.
Maybe I don’t have money right now?
She didn’t know yet that Vlad had sent most of her items and money back.
Lily lowered her head slightly. “No. Maybe I’ll think about it… a little more.”
Hans felt relieved and placed a hand on his chest. He was a frugal person. It was clear that he would not be comfortable if he used their madam’s money for the management of the estate.
And if that fact came to light, he didn’t want to imagine how he would be punished by the lord.
Lily mulled it over again. She wanted to finish as much work as possible before Vlad returned.
Her heart was a little nervous.
Hans noticed her pale look and spoke again, “Madam, let’s go eat cake together today. It’s more fun to eat delicious food together, right? It’s like a family’s birthday party.”
Family birthday party…
Lily had never had anything like that.
Grabbing attention and celebrating her birthday in front of a crowd… It was an honor that only her capable eldest brother, Crocus, could enjoy.
It reminded her of her childhood, clapping like a decorative doll at her long banquet table.
She wished she could have such a smile too.
Her forgotten desire made her lift her head. And this time, it wasn’t even presumptuous greed.
A gentle breeze blew softly. A strange peach color appeared on Lily’s pale cheeks.
She licked her lips shyly. “Is that so… ?”
The hallways were buzzing with the cheers of the administrators, who all quickened their pace.
Hans continued to chirp next to her, “Some of the administrators have prepared something to show you! Their workmanship is great. How much did they practise…”
An excited voice echoed softly all the way to the corners of the long hallway.
* * *
“Phew.” With a heavy sigh, Lily, in her pajamas, sat across the bedroom tea table.
Her silver hair was damp because she had just washed up.
She placed her hand on her stomach. “I must have eaten too much…”
“Madam should eat more. One meal used to be Madam’s two days’ worth of meals!” Buttercup answered, placing a small stool  behind Lily’s chair.
Lily looked at her sullenly. “It’s the first time in my life I’ve eaten so much at once.”
“We can increase it little by little in the future, hoho. I’ll wipe your hair dry, Madam.” Buttercup carefully pressed the wet silver hair with a soft cloth.
Lily felt the Buttercup’s touch and looked down at her table. Her eyes, which had been clear even at her dinner table, became even more cloudy.
On a white tablecloth lay her fountain pen and a small piece of paper the size of half the palm of her hand.
It was a telegram to be sent from the communications barracks that Vlad had built at the entrance to Ataka.
The last two and a half months. She hesitated every day.
Is he okay?
The more she learned about Ataka, the more the fear that gripped her ankles swelled up like a mist within her.
Lily shook her head quickly. “You have to calm down….”
That day she broke down with him.
How much ugliness did she show?
[If you get hurt after going… I will not be as confident as I am now. So just come back safe this time.]
How pathetic was it to have said that?
He had even said that the deployment was a scheduled event, as was customary. He had even put off the deployment to accompany her and visit the greenhouse.
Her chest throbbed.
But…
She forgot her duty as the mistress of the estate and acted like a young girl who had not reached puberty. It really was pathetic.
Now all she could do for him was to fulfill her duties as the estate’s mistress.
Lily stared at the blank paper incessantly, wondering if she had lost her mind.
If no one under the sky cares about you but me, I will care for you enough for the entire world. If you can come back safely, I will do anything.
The urge to write those words ran down to her fingertips.
She hesitated for a while, and then she grabbed her fountain pen.
Let’s write that I’m doing fine. It’s true anyway.