Ch. 2 - Episode 2 p8 - The Relationship Karen Desires

<b>The Relationship Karen Desires</b>

Today, Kakeru, though casually, asked a serious question pertaining to my feelings about Karen.

Now, he’s directly going to the heart of the matter.

Once again, I reconfirmed everything. I could see through what my mental barrier tried to hide from me, dug up what had been consciously buried, brought what I saw and found to attention.

I didn’t even have to think about the answer to that question. It was already inside me, a part of me.

Firmly, I carefully crafted the sentences that I would speak.

“Indeed. Keru is completely right.”

“I knew it…”

Keru sighs.

Yare yare daze. is what a protagonist would say now.

(TL: If you don’t know the reference, I am thoroughly disappointed by you.)

But it doesn’t end there. There is still more to the story.

“However, it is true that… I’ve given up on her.”

Kakeru falls silent at my words.

That is what I meant. Exactly what it is like. What I said to Keru, Otoha, and Karen was not a lie.

It is true that I was stuck in a situation where I would be forced to tell them.

Yet, it wasn’t exactly…  a bitter decision. I wanted, of my own will, to give up on her.

“Certainly I’ve been enjoying Karen’s nicer attitude toward me lately; it almost felt like before. Of course, it is fun to converse with Karen’s tsun side. Despite this, once I put my mind to it, I pulled the trigger. All-or-none response. I thought it would be fun to be childhood friends again, instead becoming this new thing called lovers.”

“…”

“Besides, there is no need for Karen to continue refusing my confessions. I thought this would be better for defining the relationship between us. When I thought over the big picture, and the nuances, I realized that I’ve done some pretty nasty things. No matter what we promised as children.”

Even if it’s a childhood friend whom I’ve known for a long time, I now regret being an annoying nuisance.

I can’t say anything back to her if it’s too late to be sorry.

That’s why I think we have the best possible relationship right now, or… at least the relationship that Karen desires.

Recently, Karen has changed.

The clear trigger for this was our reconciliation and becoming childhood friends again.

And she herself said that she wanted to go back to our childhood relationship.

In other words, she desires this kind of relationship.

If that’s the case, I want to be fitting for that relationship she desires. That’s what I desire.

“Hence, of course I haven’t fully given up on my feelings yet. But I desire to be in the relationship that Karen desires. That’s why I gave up.”

I enunciate my words, my feelings, my emotions clearly.

I have never told a soul, much less Kakeru, about my true feelings. I probably would not tell him if he wasn’t so persistent.

But I’m glad I said it. My resolve has been solidified further.

“I see… is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“…That’s not like Ritsu, but at the same time… it’s exactly something Ritsu would say…”

“What do you mean by that?

“That’s what I meant.”

We both burst into laughter.

“I see. That’s really all I can say.”

“Why did you ask me? Was it surprising?

“Well… even though I did ask you, I thought it would be much tougher in getting you to speak.”

Keru chuckles lightly.

But now, the atmosphere pressures us to remain silent.

He really does look like he knows everything.

God, huh? I thought God loved me too much, but isn’t he just a descendant of God?

“Well, even if I don’t fall in love in high school, I just want to enjoy my youth and have fun. That’s what I really want.”

“You’re probably thinking, ‘I really want a girlfriend”, instead.”

“W-Well, I can’t exactly deny that…”

“Then why don’t you go for Shirahata-san or your kouhai? If you’re only looking at their attractiveness, they don’t lose to Karen.”

The only thing I can think about is how Kakeru has been trying to make me fall in love with him for a while now.

It’s like he wants to present himself as a girl right now. It’s about time.

Well, if you do try that, I’ll go to Otoha and ask, “I heard you have a handsome girlfriend, but is it fine if I take her?” with a wry grin on my face.

“Those two are basically my closest friends. But to be honest, I don’t really know much about Lala or Shirahata-san… do I? I really have no understanding of them.”

“You know… just don’t be insensitive to them. Take care of your girl. That’s super important.”

“…That isn’t what a handsome guy with a girlfriend would say—”

“Complimenting me isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“Isn’t it just a ruse?”

“Oh, man.”

He chuckled again.

A good trait of a high school boy is that when they are having a serious conversation, they can immediately turn friendly. The worst trait: stupidity. But that stupidity saves me.

I’m glad I was born a high school boy (I’m exaggerating).

“Well, I know what you feel now. I know you’re going into summer vacation with that feeling.”

Kakeru stood up.

“Whatever the case, I have one thing to say to you.”

“Hm?”

“Make sure you have no regrets in high school.”

…What the heck… that was so cool.

That was a lie. It’s just how he normally is.

But then again, I couldn’t help but feel that there was a deeper meaning behind Keru’s words.

He didn’t seem to want to interfere too much. It was just like he was giving me his thoughts as a third party.

It’s like a teacher giving you a hint in some roundabout way.

Keru abruptly reaches his hand out to me.

“Haah… the show must go on, you know? Let’s get this summer vacation started!”

I laughed and took his hand.