That’s what I feel like shouting at any moment, as every inch of my being is in high spirits.
I’m currently on the rooftop of my school, blearily watching as the city is enveloped in orange feathers.
I could see the beautiful scenery, which was a little different than usual. As I looked at it, I felt a nice warmth in my heart, and I glanced at the old notepad in my hand.
“The 9999th time. Failure.”
Seeing it written in such a messy manner, I felt the passion of my feelings again.
I still like you, Karen.
Even if I’ve been rejected 9999 times, I still can’t give up.
Karen is my childhood friend, but also the most popular and beautiful girl in this school. I’m just a plain, ordinary guy in the going-home club, with no outstanding traits. Personally, I feel that my perseverance and initiative is my selling point. To be honest, though, I can’t deny who I am.
I know that Karen is way out of my league, but I still can’t give up on her.
That’s because I’ve been in love with Karen for a long time.
I was about to confess for the 10000th time. Normally, one wouldn’t confess more than once, but to hell with generalizations, I guess.
Anyways, I decided to make this 10000th time my last chance to confess.
I’m confident that I love Karen the most out of anyone in the world. But if I don’t succeed when confessing my love to her for the 10000th time, I don’t think I’ll ever succeed in the future. If that’s the case, I think I’ll make a fresh start towards a new love.
“…What am I getting all weak about? Don’t think about what will happen if I get rejected!”
I sandwich my cheeks between my hands, encouraging myself.
It’s fine. I believe in myself.
Karen will be here shortly.
It was natural to be nervous. I’ve always given my all during each confession. But now, on this 10000th attempt, there was more on the line.
The rusty door on the roof opens with a bang.
“There you are. I’ve come.”
“Ah, I’m sorry to call you again.”
“If you feel bad, then don’t call me! It’s not going to change… anything at all.”
While having this conversation with Karen, she arranged herself to be in front of me.
Yeah, it’s about time.
My 10000th confession, with everything I’ve got.
“For the 10000th time, something might change.”
This is a phrase from one of my favorite songs. I’ve always believed it.
I don’t want to write “failure” on that notepad ever again.
I want to write, “The 10000th time. Success. Woo-hoo!” on my notepad!
No, I will write it down and be able to show it!
I’ll tell you about this love that I’ve accumulated over 10000 confessions.
It doesn’t have to be long. I’ve confessed with a grandiose speech before, but in times like these, a short confession is fine.
“Fuu…”
Breathe in through your nose, then out through your mouth.
My heart beats faster and faster, trying to tell me to go further. But I ignore it and pull myself back to the present.
Okay, we’re all set.
“You know, Karen…”
“W-what?”
“I…”
As soon as I said this, the confessions I had made so far rushed back to me like my life was flashing before my eyes.
It was the summer of my first year of elementary school when I first confessed my love for Karen. It had been two minutes since I met her.
I fell in love with her at first sight.
From that point on, I had confessed many times, and I had kept track of each one in this notepad.
Now, I clench my fist around the notepad that is filled with these thoughts.