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Chapter 56: The Cost of Choice.
Beyond the view of the game, through the monitor, I saw a familiar face.
Ah, I remember this feeling. Same as when I had that dream about Sara in spring. That’s me, well not me, but the game me, “Shiori”.
Beyond the thin screen, I saw perhaps how I used to be, that bored uninterested face.
“Shiori Sugimura” the girl who was not apathetic to people, but was also not interested in them either.
Socializing was annoying, and she just wanted to spend her time relaxing at home.
That doesn’t mean she is going to devote herself to anything, and she isn’t going to pretend to be a lone wolf. She learned how to do half-hearted clever ways of dealing with people, keeping them at a proper distance, and having many but shallow relationships. Never going too deep into them.
Moreover, it’s best not to take things seriously. Except for class and homework, just study a little and review before the exam. Able to keep decent grades while never standing out, along with being blessed with good looks.
Most things can be done with little to no effort, resulting in a barely noticeable 15 year old.
(I’m embarrassed to see myself like this. . .)
This was undoubtedly how I acted before spring holiday. Before I regained my memory, I was conceited, living carefree, taking whatever was an easy victory, no other way I told myself.
If possible, I’d like to slap myself from behind the monitor and say “Wake up!”
However a turning point would have came to “Shiori”
It was her junior “Aoi Shimamoto” who just joined the art club.
She was a curious freshman that always would happily smile. Never denying someone and never treating anyone specially. Those she just met in the art club she’d treat them equal like they were her childhood friend Koharu. “Aoi” ‘s indiscriminate smile quickly made her become popular and naturally the center of attention, but it seemed unnatural to “Shiori”.
She’s seen many popular people, but something was different about “Aoi Shimamoto” . It was as if she forced herself to be close.
A character loved by everyone, but it seems like nobody is seriously dealing with her because she says whatever they want to hear? Moreover, she herself may not even be aware of that weird kink.
“Shiori” thought that and it was unusual for her to be interested in another person, so she started to tease her a little bit frequently.
“Hey, did you drink that juice? It was delicious- – fufu, like an indirect kiss.”
“Oh, do you like my style? Well thank you, would you like me to be your nude model?”
“Geeze, saying that. . .are you inviting me?”
It didn’t bother me in the game, but when I see it from a third person’s perspective as a real person, I’m completely a molester. She has the same face and voice as me, don’t make me say that! It’s like the sexual harrastment that Yoko would say! I wanted to cover my eyes, but I couldn’t.
It was good I was able to have the memories of a previous life. It’s really good! That could have been me.
At the beginning she was bashful and cute if not perhaps wanting to run away, In response to sexual harassment from one of her Senpai, seeming like she wanted say “Do you really want that?”. However she gradually got used to it, and at times she’d occasionally fire back.
Finally, “Shiori” felt a peace of mind as she seemed to see the original “Aoi”.
However the other person is “Aoi”. Her true self may just be what “Shiori” wanted.
She’d begun saying words she wouldn’t before, become shy, angry, and sometimes downhearted.
“Shiroi” became impatient when she realized that she was attracted to her.
After all, she had little interest in others. But to just jump into love, and realizing she’s in love with the same sex, she didn’t know what to do.
Their distance was shortened and they started to go out together, and began to share those childish features she never showed at school. There were times that the feeling of being more than a junior could be seen behind”Aoi”’s smile, but she was “Aoi”.
She just couldn’t be confident, and the pride of being a senior became an obstacle.
She really wanted to go to the school festival together with “Aoi”, but she didn’t because of those eyes around her. She was jealous of her childhood friend Koharu that shared her class.
At the after night festival “Shiori” looked down from the art club window, to the school playground, looking for “Aoi”. When suddenly, an out of breath “Aoi” ran to the room, and confessed. Those two were happily tied together after that.
. . . . .Huh. Unlike that dream with Sara, I was actually in love with “Aoi”. Well “Shiori” was unexpectedly a loser, and “Aoi” was more scheming than I expected. I mean, is our Aoi like that?
Sure she smiles equally to everyone, and it might be the case she is simply responding in the best way to make them happy. But I am sure those are the secrets hidden underneath that smile?
The love drama is deeper than seeing it as on a monitor, it was now a distorted story with similar characters attracted to each other.
It’s not as earth shattering as the “Sara” dream, but I can’t just ignore it.
However the show didn’t end there. Time began to fly, although in reverse. It was rewinding. At the center was no longer “Shiori” or “Aoi” but another heroine.
“Eh, Koharu?!?”
After that movie was over, another began to suddenly play.
“Aoi” was surrounded by everyone, along with “Shiori” , the flirting one besides her. And, as those two’s distance gradually narrowed, one’s feelings of impatience grew. “Koharu”’s.
At first it was “Aoi” that was shaken by “Shiori” approaches. She was just a senpai that took her under her wing and would often tease her, but as she knew her more, she became just a pretty girl.
For that love “Aoi” first consulted with “Koharu” asking for her support. It wasn’t just that, but more and more she would refuse invitations to hang out, so she could make more time with “Shiori”, and less time was spent with her.
“This sounds very familiar. . .”
Naturally “Koharu” resented “Shiori” who had robbed her of “Aoi”. “Aoi” didn’t know that it disturbed her though. She didn’t know about “Koharu” feelings. And “Aoi” would happily mention the name of her love rival all the time.
“Speaking of Shiori-senpai, she would tease you right away.”
“This time, I’m going to the art supply store with Shiori-senpai.”
“Sometimes, I think Shiori-senpai also likes me, but what do you think, Koharu?”
At first she had a grudge against “Shiori” and would be proactive in being an obstacle between the two. However, everytime she talks about her love for “Shiori”, her feelings begun to fracture. Gradually, she lost the energy to get in their way, and had no hopes in making an unexpected confession. So she gave up almost like she was forced to.
And on the day of the school festival that was when she took a finishing blow. At the after school party, sitting side by side at the campfire, “Aoi” declared that she would confess to “Shiori”, and asked her if she could help find her.
She couldn’t say she didn’t want to, but walked around the school as she was told. It was then as she wandered around, she ended up near the art room. There she saw two new lovers kiss after a confession. “Aoi” found “Shiori” before she did.
That was the time “Koharu”’s heart completely broke. No matter what she did, it was apparent now that she couldn’t get “Aoi”.
After that “Koharu” began to distance herself from “Aoi”, though none of those scenes were in the game.
I suddenly popped out from the screen before me. I opened my eyes to see the dim ceiling of my room.
I had to think about it again. Just like when I had that dream about “Sara”. I woke up as if I was kicked out of the theater, as if they were saying “Shows over go home.”
What the hell was that dream? It was definitely not just a dream. Dreams are usually fading memories, blurring and hard to see. However this is like a vision, it’s so clear.
And there were various things that I learned from seeing it until the end.
“Well, both the “Shiori” route and the “Sara” route are bad endings for “Koharu”. . .”
Koharu has been thinking about “Aoi” from the beginning. The routes with the other heroines are the broken heart routes. The game didn’t portray “Koharu”’s feelings, so I thought because they were friends since childhood, and she didn’t seem to be selfish, things would be okay for her and Aoi. However that was not the case. “Koharu”’s feelings couldn’t be that shallow.
“I thought that the way “Aoi” was treating “Koharu” was terrible, but it’s different. . . this is just like the game.”
In order to capture “Shiori” or “Sara” in the game, it is necessary to lower the favorability of “Koharu”. That was an essential game strategy.
It was just choosing an option to prioritize your capture target, but that wasn’t the only purpose. It wasn’t lowering “Koharu” liking, but rather breaking her heart and getting her to give up.
“Break her heart so she doesn’t get in the way. By doing that, you can capture them smoothly. . .”
Behind those cute illustrations, a terrible thing was happening to her. Every time the player happily pressed the enter key, they were destroying a girl’s heart.
This is exactly what is happening to Koharu now. She has been broken so many times, and even told me, her love rival, she has given up. To be honest, I feel more sympathetic to her rather than fear of blades.
That being said, I’m not the kind of person to go through the trouble of cheering up Koharu, and cooperating in advancing her relationship with Aoi. I don’t have the surplus to take care of somebody that much.
“But as far as I saw earlier, there was a time when I represented “Shiori” and took over Koharu’s grudge. Knowing that I’m glad I didn’t get stabbed. . .”
Although I didn’t see it in the “Sara” route, it’s probably the same broken heart.
However, why did she keep her distance on the “Shiori” route, but acted rashly on the “Sara” route?
Wasn’t her heart broken? What is the difference between seeing and not seeing the confession scene?
In any case, I can’t let my guard fully down unless I know the reason.
Because right now, I’m definitely the number one target for Koharu’s blade.