“Sister… I really did think about what you said to me before.”
Maryjun clenched her hands on her knees.
At that, Violette realized that Maryjun sincerely listened to her words. Even if she spit them at her without any explanation and immediately ran away.
“It’s just as you said. As the daughter of this family… I lack too many things. One’s ideas and aims will change according to the situation. But I didn’t understand that at all.”
Maryjun straightened her posture and stared straight at Violette. Violette didn’t like her eyes. She had hurt her feelings many times ever since they first met and when she started everything over. But even if Maryjun’s eyes were wet with tears, she never hated her older sister.
“I still don’t think that I was wrong back then. Even now, I still think that it’s strange to think of people in terms of their status. But… I also realized that’s not necessarily correct either.”
Maryjun’s nature that accepted reality, gave it a consideration, and occasionally stayed unwavering made her keep moving forward, and that was scary for Violette. The more she knew about Maryjun, the more her fear grew.
“Also… I understood that I can’t just continue to think that the nobles are always right. Though, I still don’t know what’s right and wrong…”
Maryjun was a girl who acted like a commoner until just sometime ago. She was peculiar since she was born, but she wasn’t raised as a noble. If a child could immediately adapt when they were forced to bear the special status as a noble, then something must be wrong with them. Especially more since she was at an age when she couldn’t make her own decisions.
Still, Maryjun wouldn’t be forgiven for making a mistake in this place. She couldn’t stay naive forever.
Originally, her father, who was the cause of everything, had the responsibility to teach her little by little.
The reason he didn’t do that was probably because he was too indulgent to his beloved daughter. And because Maryjun had received that love without any question, she remained pure white.
And that was definitely a good choice. At least, Maryjun was raised to be a good person.
She loved and received love. Like a gentle and soft, peaceful and beautiful lady.
(Just why she’s──)
Why was she so pure? Why was she so holy?
To the point that she forgave her older sister who continued to oppress her. To the point that she gave mercy to her, who was once a criminal. Violette didn’t want to recognize her and turned her eyes away from Maryjun. She knew she was venting her anger on her.
But she couldn’t turn her eyes away from the reality that stabbed her heart.
Violette believed that Maryjun could be a good person because she received happiness as she grew up, loved by her parents. No, she wanted to believe so. Otherwise, she couldn’t accept her position, suffering, and crooked nature.
She wanted to think that she would be happy if she had Maryjun’s position. She deserved that happiness, so she wanted to snatch it from Maryjun.
And if she was Maryjun, she wouldn’t be this twisted.
But then, she realized that only a few people who could forgive the ones who hurt them like Maryjun. Even if they were raised with love by their parents. A person who was bright, gentle, and pure was extremely rare.
If Maryjun was in Violette’s position, Violette didn’t know if she could remain to be as innocent as she was now.
But if she was in Maryjun’s position, she wouldn’t be able to be like her.
“…ter… Sister, are you okay?”
“…Ah. I’m sorry, it’s nothing.”
Unable to stand looking at Maryjun’s worried gaze, Violette reflexively looked down at the cup on her hands.
She didn’t drink the remaining half of the tea, only swaying the cup.
“I’m sorry for inviting you over while you were tired. Let’s stop here today! Could I invite you over again?”
“Yes… Some other time.”
Happy with Violette’s nod, Maryjun became frolic. How cute. Maybe not just her appearance, but her aura was also lovely.
A cute little sister. It made Violette want to protect her and not hurt her.
“Then I’ll take my leave.”
“Yes!”
Violette turned her back to Maryjun who sent her off, never turning back even once. She controlled her pace since she just wanted to run as far as she could, the sound of her beating heart echoing in her ears unpleasant.
Gentle and beautiful Maryjun. If she wasn’t Violette’s sister, Violette would extol her existence. She could even worship the sacredness of her heart.
But Maryjun was her sister. A girl born from the same father who received his love.
Violette just couldn’t love her. No matter what.
The moment she loved that girl, it would turn into hate.
I’m sorry, Maryjun.
For now, Violette swallowed all of her hatred. She just couldn’t love her. She couldn’t divide Maryjun from her resentment towards her parents.
She knew that it’s not Maryjun’s fault, but she couldn’t throw these feelings away.
After all, Violette couldn’t be like her.
She couldn’t love or forgive, and she couldn’t even let go off her resentment.
In the end, an indecisive woman like her should devote her life to repent and do services to God. She hadn’t paid for her erased past sins.
Violette just had to wait for the day she would leave everything. That way, she hoped to finally forget her sister.