Kanda-senpaiâs transfer⌠The strange conversation in the canteen with Mishima⌠This mentally draining week came to an end.
So, I completely surrendered to the power of laziness. On weekdays, Sayu always wakes me up. But on weekends, she doesnât do that.
Thatâs why I went to bed for the second time and then for the third time, accumulating all the energy to finally wake up until I noticed that it was already past 3 PM. Since I went to bed after midnight, it means that I slept for almost the whole 15 hours. After that, my sleepiness disappeared. I shook my still-sluggish head, and my consciousness cleared up.
Looking sideways, I saw Sayu curled up on the carpet like a caterpillar.
âGood morning, SayuâŚâ
âGood morning.â
She said, looking at me. Her voice felt somewhat empty.
âWhen did you wake up?â
âHuh?â
âDid you sleep at all?â
âUmâŚâ
I asked a few questions and realized that something was wrong with her. Itâs as if she was lost in her own thoughts.
Sighing, I called her louder.
âSayu!â
âWhoa!â
She flinched and turned to me.
âGood morningâŚâ
âG-Good morning.â
âDid you sleep?â
âN-No, Iâm sorry⌠Did I wake you up? Itâs just that⌠I had my head in the clouds.â
Sayu flashed a strange smile. She looked kind of lost.
âAre you worried about something?â
I asked, getting up from the bed. Sayu also got up. There was an unreadable expression on her face accompanied by a sad smile.
âNope⌠nothing.â
ââŚOkay then.â
Thereâs definitely something wrong. But she still insisted that everything was all right. So I decided not to pry further.
Instead, I thought of changing the subject. But nothing came to my mind, so I just sat down, in Indian-style, on the bed and leaned against the wall. Sayu stood up and just stared at the floor. I looked at her since she was lying on one side, her hair stuck to her cheek. At first, I decided to remove them with a finger, but my body seemed so heavy that all my strength was gone even before I got out of bed.
Sayu raised her head and our gazes met. We looked at each other for a few seconds. But even though we stared at each other, it still seemed like she was thinking about something of her own.
âAbout when Iâll decide to return to HokkaidoâŚâ
I was startled. At first, I even wondered if she was talking to me, but there were only the two of us.
âWell, I donât want to go back yet.â
She grinned. Then, she dropped her gaze again.
âI donât want to go home, thatâs why I donât want to return to Hokkaido. OrâŚâ
She muttered those words and looked at me again.
âOr maybe because I donât want to part with youâŚâ
Her voice was weak. As if to confirm this, she looked at the floor again.
âI donât understandâŚâ
She said and immediately fell silent.
Me too⌠I couldnât say anything and just sat with my mouth open.
During the rainy season, Sayu told me that she would think about her future. It meant that she was getting ready to return to where she belongs. It was an important promise⌠for both of us.
Although she tried her best, I still felt weakness in her voice when she said âI donât want to go back.â
I wasnât going to blame her for that. She ran away from home after all, so I understood her reluctance. But the fact that she said it surprised me.
As far as I know, she always puts others first. She even promised me that she would return home, and yet, she said that she didnât want to. But what for? Did she want me to perceive it as naivety or to frankly show unwillingness?
And the words âI donât want to part with youâ astonished me.
During all this cohabitation, we started to trust each other. But am I really that important?
âThatâsâŚâ
Thinking about it, I shook my head. Kanda-senpaiâs and Mishimaâs words came to mind again.
âThatâs something only you would know.â
I knew that that wasnât the answer she expected, but I couldnât say anything else.
Hearing my words, Sayu shot me a puzzled look and chuckled.
âWell, yeah. Iâm sorry for bringing up such a strange topic.â
She smiled helplessly.
âNo, thatâs not it⌠Youâre free to say whatever you want.â
As soon as I said it, Sayu smiled with guilt and nodded.
ââŚYes. I⌠thought about it all the time you were sleeping.â
âI know itâs hard for youâŚâ
âIndeed.â
She replied with sorrow but then raised her head and went to the kitchen.
I watched Sayu as she poured water into a cup and returned.
âHere.â
âHuh?â
âWater. You just woke up, so take a drink to develop your stomach and gain some strength.â
âWhat? Does it really work like that?â
âI read it on the Internet.â
âSounds like nonsense⌠But thanks.â
I drank the water. The liquid spread in the throat and dissolved in the body. Following the first sip, I drank everything.
âOh, right. You like to get drunk.â
âShut up.â
I put the mug in the sink. And then I heard a low sound as if something exploded. I looked at Sayu.
âDid you hear that?â
âHuh?â
She looked confused.
âNo, I didnât hear anything.â
Judging by her puzzled expression, it seems like she really didnât hear anything.
âI guess I misheard it then.â
When I said that, something exploded outdoors.
âWow.â
âWell, so I didnât mishear it.â
This time, Sayu also heard it and nodded at me.
We remained silent for a few seconds and we heard a loud noise outside again.
Sayu tilted her head and asked me.
âIs that fireworks?â
âNo, itâs too early for them.â
It was a little over 3 PM. The sun had already begun to drop, but it was still too bright to watch the fireworks.
âOhâŚâ
Realizing, I sat on the bed and turned on the laptop.
âWhatâs the matter?â
Sayu looked at the screen with interest.
I opened the Internet, entered the name of the nearest station, and added the word âfestivalâ in the search bar. That confirmed my assumptions.
There was a Shinto shrine within a ten-minute walk, where the shopping district was hosting a summer festival.
âThe weatherâs good and this is the signal for the start of the festival.â
âI see.â
Sayu nodded and then looked into the distance.
âA summer festival, huh?â
Her voice was full of nostalgia and something unrelated to me.
âDo you want to go?â
âHuh?â
She looked at me in surprise and didnât answer my question.
âDo you want to go to the summer festival?â
I asked again. She blinked and then looked away from me.
âUm⌠summer festival⌠yeah.â
Her eyes were darting back and forth across the floor, she spoke in embarrassment.
âT-That was unexpectedâŚâ
âWhat?â
âIâve never been to a summer festival in high schoolâ
âI see.â
I also didnât expect that. High schoolers often go to such events with friends or a lover.
âYeah, thatâs true. I had no friends with whom I could go, so I didnât think about it.â
ââŚSo thatâs how it is.â
Sayu answered calmly, but I was overwhelmed with strange feelings.
Caring, kind, and pretty⌠A girl that cares about others⌠I just canât imagine why she didnât have any friends. I thought about the reason, but nothing came to mind.
So I shook these thoughts out of my head. Sayu looked at me.
âThatâs why⌠Yeah⌠Iâd like to go to the summer festival with you, Yoshida-san.â
She smiled softly.
Iâd already slept enough, so it would be possible to go out and take a walk in the evening.
Thinking that I need to change into casual clothes, something suddenly came into my head.
âItâs a summer festival, right? So you have to wear a yukata.â
âYukata?â
Sayuâs eyes shone. I guess she really wanted it.
âWait, do you have one?â
âNo, I donât. Why do you think a lonely man would keep a yukata?â
âOh⌠Fair enough⌠But why did you suggest it then?â
âWe can rent one. There seems to be a shop near the station.â
I checked on the Internet, and there really was a shop near the station where we could rent a yukata.
âIt looks like you can rent one for about 3,000 yen. Since youâve got a part-time job, you can rent it with your salary.â
If we go now, considering the time sheâll take getting dressed, weâll get to the temple just in time.
After my proposal, Sayu hesitated a little. But then she embarrassedly agreed.
*
âWho wouldâve thought that there would be such a queue.â
âWell, the festivalâs taking place near the station, so itâs not surprising that the store hereâs so busy.â
After the station, we went straight to the temple.
The store was surprisingly lively, we left the house and reached it at almost 4 PM. Sayu finished changing at 6 PM.
Even though the days are longer during summer, itâs still really dark after 6 PM.
I heard the patter of Sayuâs shoes. She was wearing a yukata and geta.
I couldnât look at her.
âOh, looks like itâs starting.â
Ahead of us, there was a place illuminated by lanterns. The shopping district to be precise. I heard the festival music.
âSo itâs really a festivalâŚâ
Sayu looked excited. I chuckled.
âWell, of course, it is. This is why you came here in yukata after all.â
âIt all seemed unrealâŚâ
Sayu laughed.
âWe decided to go to the festival, I put on a yukata⌠But I just couldnât believe that weâre going to the festival.â
âReally? But arenât we already here.â
âYeah. IndeedâŚâ
Sayu agreed and her shoulders started to tremble. I didnât look at her, so it was impossible to be sure, but she was probably laughing.
The music grew louder, we went around the corner, right into the shopping district.
And then it suddenly became very bright and noisy.
âWowâŚâ
Sayuâs voice was full of excitement.
âHahaâŚâ
With her mouth open, Sayu quickened her pace and walked in front of me. She was looking around with her eyes glittering. She looked like a child taken to an amusement park for the first time. Seeing her like that, I realized that she really hadnât been to a festival in high school.
Turning around, Sayu suddenly looked at me and smiled widely.
âItâs amazing!â
Thatâs when I saw Sayu in a yukata right in front of me.
In the lights of the shopping district, it looked bright orange. Usually, loose hair was gathered with a hairpin. There wasnât much makeup, but under the bright light, Sayu literally shone.
âY-Yeah⌠Amazing.â
I replied, looking away from Sayu.
âHey, Yoshida-san.â
Sayu stopped in front of me and looked into my eyes.
âHow do you like the yukata?â
She asked⌠I avoided this question from the moment she came out of the store.
To be honest, it really suits her.
She looked more like an adult rather than a âhigh school girl in a yukata,â but at the same time felt childishly young. The bright orange color harmonized with Sayuâs natural beauty. I felt uncomfortable.
âHey! Youâre not even looking at me at all.â
She pouted, so I looked at her. Sayu raised her sleeves and asked me again.
âSo what do you think?â
I looked at her. The landscape seemed to focus on Sayu, and it seemed as if all the lights around were deliberately illuminating her.
âYouâre beautiful.â
Sayu looked at me with her mouth open. I realized what I just said.
And got embarrassed by my own words.
What did I just say to a high school student? Why didnât I just say that she was cute? It looked like Sayu didnât expect that answer either and got flustered. But she continued to look at me, even though I turned away. Although I didnât see it, I felt her glare on my cheek.
âUm⌠I meanâŚâ
Her voice was pretty quiet, but I still heard everything clearly.
âEven more beautiful than⌠Gotou-san?â
âHuh?â
I looked at Sayu in surprise. She was blushing as red as a tomato.
I didnât get why she wanted me to compare her to Gotou-san, but then I heard a child screaming.
âHey, Mom! Theyâre playing drums there!â
The woman who followed this kid behind said, âReally? Letâs hurry then,â and quickened the pace.
ââŚIt looks like there are drummers. Shall we go take a look?â
I asked, and Sayuâs eyes flickered for a moment. Then she suddenly closed them.
And when she opened them again, she smiled at me.
âYeah, Iâd like to see!â
âWell, letâs go then. I think they should be in the center of the square.â
âOkay, letâs go.â
I followed Sayu, who was walking in front.
My heart began to beat faster.
I was able to evade her question. The girl in front of me or Gotou-san. I was at a loss who to choose and how to say it. To be precise, it wasnât that difficult, but I just didnât want to choose.
Although not long ago, I wouldâve immediately answered, âOf course, Gotou-san.â I was confused by my own feelings.
Am I starting to see Sayu as a âwomanâ and not just a âhigh school girlâ?
Before, I perceived high school students as children. But it seems that this no longer applied to Sayu.
âYoshida-san, w-wait.â
A voice sounded from behind and I turned around. She was standing far from me. It looks like while I was lost in thoughts, I sped up my pace.
âIâm sorryâŚâ
âSo many peopleâŚâ
She looked around and smiled embarrassedly. There were really a lot of people near the square, and it was difficult to walk around. Also, Sayuâs wearing geta, so I needed to adjust my pace.
When I thought about it, I felt a warmth on my right wrist. Sayu held my hand.
Surprised, I looked at her. She blushed slightly and looked at the ground.
âW-With that⌠We wonât get lost.â
âY-Yeah. Of course.â
I was embarrassed and scratched my nose with my left hand.
The sound of drums came from the square. Even though we were still far enough, the sound seemed loud.
âLooks like it has already begun.â
âIt has.â
âLetâs go.â
Together with Sayu, who was holding onto me, we walked through the crowd.
It was really crowded, but I didnât pay attention to it.
My face was burning.
*
Two men banged on big drums, and two women on small ones.
The sound of unpausing bangs was echoing inside the drums. The audience was joyfully shouting.
Watching the performance, I thought that this happens here every year. And looking back, every time I heard that noise, I thought to myself, âLooks like thereâs a festival nearby.â
Iâve been living here for 5 years, but Iâve never been to the festival. What a boring person. I donât show any interest in anything but myself.
But it turned out to be very interesting. The people gathered here were having fun. I havenât felt anything like this since high school.
Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at Sayu. She was fascinated looking at the drummers.
If not for her, I wouldnât have come here.
Her appearance changed my life. I began to eat 3 times a day. On weekends, I often leave the house and communicate more. I used to live with my job, but now Iâve begun to learn the taste of life.
Perhaps if I hadnât picked her up that day, Iâd still be living by walking from home to work. If I started dating Gotou-san, my life wouldâve become more enjoyable, but we havenât started dating yet.
If I hadnât met Sayu.
Thinking about it, I noticed.
The drums began to beat more intensely. The musicians were preparing to end their performance. The audience too became even more excited, and I was overwhelmed by only one feeling.
If I hadnât met Sayu.
As soon as I thought about it, I understood.
I canât even imagine it.
I canât even imagine how I wouldâve lived without her. She has already become a part of my life.
As soon as I thought about the fact that Sayu would be taken out of my life, I was scared.
ââŚshida-san⌠Hey!â
âHuh? What?â
Through the sound of drums, I heard Sayuâs voice and looked at her. My heart jumped.
She wasnât here.
âHuh?â
I began to turn around. Surrounded by strangers, I couldnât find Sayu among them.
âSayu?!â
I walked through the crowd and finally got out in the open. I walked through the shopping district and looked around, but Sayu was nowhere to be found. I looked into the distance, but I never saw her yukata.
âBang bang!â I heard the sound of drums, blended with applause, coming from the square. The show has come to an end. People began to scatter around the district. What terrible timing.
Making my way through the advancing crowd, I looked for Sayu, but couldnât find her.
Where did she go? I saw her during the show, and then, she was gone. In such a short time, she couldnât go far⌠What if someone took her away?
A chill ran down my spine. I remembered the last time she left home without notice. I was scared that she had been kidnapped, and set out to search, but now everything was much more complicated.
I walked quickly. My gaze wandered, I was looking for Sayu. And then, I noticed an orange yukata and blackish-brown collected hair.
âSayu!!â
I immediately called and grabbed her by the shoulder.
âHuh?â
However, the woman who turned around wasnât Sayu. She stared at me with wide eyes. Looking closely, the yukata she was wearing was different.
âAh⌠Sorry⌠I mistook you for someone.â
I quickly let her go. The woman smiled and disappeared into the crowd.
Sighing, I continued the search. For starters, I needed to get out of the crowd.
I went where there were fewer people, but I couldnât find Sayu. I havenât moved that much for a long time, so I was out of breath.
âAh, Yoshida-san! Found you!â
A voice sounded from behind. I turned around and saw Sayu. I blinked at first and didnât notice how I began to shout.
âWhere were you?!â
âHuh? I told you that I need to go to the bathroom.â
ââŚBathroom?â
She looked at me in puzzlement.
âWhy are you out of breath?â
âI see⌠bathroomâŚâ
So thatâs probably what she told me that time when she called me, I just didnât hear it. Most likely, she said something like âIâll go to the toilet,â and when I turned around, she was already gone.
I sighed.
âW-Were you looking for me?â
ââŚYeah.â
âI-Iâm sorry. And here I thought that it was you who had gone somewhere. It turns out that we were both looking for each other.â
Sayu came closer and looked into my face.
âAre you alright?â
âYeah.â
âBut you can hardly breathe.â
âEverythingâs alright. After all, Iâm not some old fart.â
I turned away, desperately avoiding her gaze. Sayu started to giggle.
âThe moment I disappeared, you rushed looking for me.â
She said that while standing next to me. She began to poke me with her elbow and said âI still remember how you were out of breath that time when you found me with Yuzuha-san at the park.â
ââŚShut up.â
I recalled it as if it were yesterday.
Sayu looked at me again. Then she mockingly smiled at me.
âAre you that worried about me being lost?â
After those words, my heart began to pound faster.
Yes, thereâs no better wording.
When Sayu disappeared, I thought she had been kidnapped. But I wasnât scared because âSayuâs in trouble or she was kidnapped,â rather because of the fear that âI wonât see her again.â
âYeah, if you disappear⌠I-Iâll worry.â
I said looking at her. Her eyes flickered. She immediately lowered her head.
âIs that so? Iâm sorry.â
She said quietly and grabbed my hand.
âI wonât go anywhere⌠anymore.â
I felt how she squeezed my hand. Not understanding what she was thinking about, my lips moved of their own accord.
âHey⌠Are you really going to return?â
ââŚHuh?â
Sayu opened her eyes wide and made a puzzled look.
I was even more confused.
âAh⌠noââ
Why did I ask her that? I donât understand myself.
Sayu will return home. I gave her time to make up her mind. She finally made a decision and told me about it, and yet I asked her that.
âNo, nothing⌠Forget it.â
âO-OkayâŚâ
She nodded and fell silent. I didnât say anything else either.
âUmâŚâ
Unable to withstand the silence, I looked towards the shopping district.
âThey sell a lot of tasty things there. Wanna go take a look?â
I suggested. She also looked there and nodded.
âIâll buy whatever you want.â
âT-Thanks.â
Together, we went to the stalls. There were fried soba, sausages, takoyaki, chocolate-covered bananas, and more. Everything typical for a summer festival.
âWow.â
Sayu stopped in front of a cotton candy stall.
The stall owner poured granulated sugar into a candy maker that looked like a donut. To the smiles of the children, he rolled candy on sticks.
âCotton candyâŚâ
Sayu muttered.
âDo you want it?â
âYes, I always wanted to. I once was at a festival when I was a little kid, but that time, I didnât get to try it. Since then, Iâve always wished for it.â
As if remembering the past, Sayu narrowed her eyes.
âThen letâs buy it.â
The moment I said it, she was already opening her wallet. But I stopped her.
âI already told you that itâs my treat.â
âB-But I can buy it myself.â
That wasnât the point, I just wanted to treat her.
While I was thinking⌠Ah⌠I get it now.
Kanda-senpai and Mishima talked about it. I felt irritated.
âItâs okay.â
I said, looking at the happy children who received their cotton candies from the stall owner.
âI want to treat you.â
After saying this, I went to the stall owner.
âOne cotton candy, please.â
âSure. One hundred yen.â
I took a hundred yen out of my wallet and handed it to him.
Then I called Sayu, who was watching from a distance.
âCome on. Donât you want to take a closer look at how itâs made?â
âUh⌠yes.â
She came closer.
The owner was rotating a stick, and cotton candy gathered around it. It looked very funny.
âHey.â
Sayu called me and I looked at her. She didnât take her eyes off the sugar wool and continued.
âThe thing you asked me.â
Remembering my last question, my stomach tightened.
I fell silent, and Sayu looked at me and continued.
âYou donât want me to go back?â
The question was asked, but I couldnât answer. Sayu didnât reproach me for anything. She just wanted me to honestly tell her about my feelings, which was incredibly difficult for me. After all, I still canât express my feelings properly.
I also looked at how cotton candy was made.
The stick was already covered with cotton, and it almost disappeared. Although the cotton candy threads were winding around it with each turn, it seemed to me like the roll was building up by itself. Now, it was a large sugary mass with a strange shape.
âY-you⌠have to go back.â
I muttered.
ââŚYeah, of course.â
Sayu nodded.
She didnât complain that I didnât give her a proper answer.
âAnd⌠itâs done.â
The owner handed Sayu a cotton candy the size of a soccer ball.
âWow, so big⌠Thank you.â
A joyful Sayu opened her mouth and took the candy.
âA real cotton woolâŚâ
Sayu smiled, indicating the cottonâs sweetness. Now she looks like a high schooler. Itâs very cute.
âGood.â
âYup! Thanks, Yoshida-san!â
She thanked me, but I was embarrassed and silently scratched my nose.
Carefully pinching the cotton wool, Sayu exclaimed, âWowâŚâ
âSo sticky.â
âOf course it is. Itâs granulated sugar after all.â
I grinned. She agreed and put a piece in her mouth. Her eyes widened.
âIt melted right away!â
âHaha, again. Itâs granulated sugar.â
The reaction was funny. Seeing me laugh, Sayu pouted.
âDonât laugh! This is my first time trying it.â
âSorry, sorry.â
Sayu clucked again and pinched another piece of cotton candy again.
âItâs so sticky, but the moment you put it in your mouth, it immediately melts.â
When the piece melted in her mouth, she spoke.
âIf I hadnât met you, Yoshida-san, I certainly wouldnât have found out about itâŚâ
And I wouldnât have gone to the summer festival without you. Before I could say that, Sayu turned to me and tore off another piece.
âYoshida-san, here. Say âAaaa.ââ
âWhat?â
ââAaaaâŚâ
She held out a piece to my mouth. I didnât want it, but just couldnât resist, so I opened my mouth. When she put the cotton candy into my mouth, I felt her fingers touching my lips.
Sayu removed her hand and smiled.
âCotton candy is so tasty.â
It melted on the tip of my tongue.
âYeahâŚâ
Surprisingly tasty.
âDelicious.â
I said.
Sayu began to giggle and her geta were clapping.
We enjoyed our first summer festival until the very end.