Tonight, Yoshida-san was moving his chopsticks less frequently, which I found rather strange.
“Hey.”
“Hmm?”
“The shougayaki1, I think it turned out good.”
“Yeah, it’s delicious.”
Yoshida-san nodded his head and placed a bite-sized piece of shougayaki into his mouth. Then, he gobbled up a mouthful of white rice and chewed it.
He’s staring blankly into space.
Undoubtedly, he’s thinking about something else.
It’s none of my business, but since it was unusual for Yoshida-san to be so absent-minded during dinner, I got curious.
“Yoshida-san.”
“Hmm?”
“Did something happen at work today?”
“Huh? Why are you asking me all of a sudden?”
Yoshida-san’s attention finally turned to me.
I tried to hold back a gasp. Just from his reaction, I could tell that something had happened at the company.
“You’ve been in a daze ever since you got home. I wondered if something had happened.”
“Oh… was I zoning out?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
I nodded visibly. Yoshida-san scratched the back of his neck and looked away from me.
“Well, nothing happened.”
“You don’t sound so confident about that.”
“No, well, it’s nothing special.”
Something’s not right about him.
The times when he quiets down like this are usually when he’s hesitating to tell me something or when he hasn’t gotten his feelings straight. It could be either case.
Also, he seemed nervous.
“Huh? Tell me what’s wrong.”
Yoshida-san’s childish attitude made me a little impatient. I was eager to hear what he had to say.
After scratching his nose, Yoshida-san spoke up.
“Well… today, an employee from another branch was transferred to ours.”
“Mm.”
“And that person is… well…”
Yoshida-san paused for a moment, then scratched his nose again. He dropped his gaze to the table and continued what he was saying.
“She was the one I dated back in high school.”
“…Huh?”
I accidentally let that expression out.
The one he dated back in high school. His words echoed through my ears, and it felt rather unimaginable.
“Her name’s Kanda-senpai.”
“Senpai…”
I guess she’s older than him. As I thought, Yoshida-san had always liked older women. No, that’s not important at this point. There was something else that bothered me.
I said it without thinking. Yoshida-san blinked a few times, and then I giggled.
“What? Is it strange?”
“No, no, it’s not like that! It’s just that, you know… I never heard about it until now.”
That’s right. It didn’t make me uncomfortable knowing that Yoshida-san had a girlfriend. I would have found it strange that a sincere man like him never dated anyone before.
That’s how I see it now but, somehow, I had always assumed that Yoshida-san had no such experience.
So he’s been in a relationship before. Did they kiss? Did they go beyond that…?
Bewildered, I shook my head as I imagined the details of Yoshida-san’s relationship with someone I didn’t know.
I remembered that I was eating, so I popped a piece of shougayaki into my mouth, but it didn’t taste very good. I felt strangely uneasy.
“That’s why you were so uptight.”
“Well… that may be the case. How should I put it? While I find it impressive that I ran into a person I knew back in high school, what surprised me most was that… it was my ex-girlfriend.”
Yoshida-san said that sincerely then took a sip of miso soup. Again, his gaze was lost somewhere far away. He must be remembering this Kanda-san.
“Yu— And what did Yuzuha-san say?”
I really wanted to interrupt Yoshida-san’s thoughts so I thought I would ask that question.
“Mishima? What’s Mishima got to do with it?”
“Just tell me. Did she say anything?”
Yoshida-san tilted his head.
“Nothing particular. I mean, we haven’t talked at all today. Oh, but…
Yoshida-san put the chopsticks down, looking surprised.
“Now that you mention it, she had some sort of argument with Gotou-san during lunch.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I didn’t hear the details, but she was incredibly hostile towards Gotou-san.”
“…Is that so?”
It’s just a hunch, but I think they were initially talking about something related to this Kanda-san. It’s obvious that the two of them have different principles but I don’t know why Yuzuha-san would be so aggressive with Gotou-san. From what Yoshida-san told me, Yuzuha-san isn’t the kind of person who gets heated in work-related interactions. I suspect that the two of them shifted the topic to Yoshida-san.
“But I don’t think that it has anything to do with Kanda-senpai. Mishima isn’t the type to care about newcomers.”
“…Oh, okay.”
When I looked disapprovingly at Yoshida-san, he tilted his head in confusion.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
I wanted to tell Yoshida-san that she’s concerned about him, not this Kanda-senpai, but… I didn’t do it for reasons I didn’t know how to explain.
The silence lasted for a few seconds.
I glanced over at Yoshida-san, who was still in a daze, continuing to eat.
Whatever he was thinking, he was free to do as he pleased. It’s just that, it made me very uncomfortable to see him like that while thinking about another woman right in front of me. No, it was more than uncomfortable, it was vexing.
“This Kanda-san…”
When I spoke, Yoshida-san turned his attention to me.
I realized that I hadn’t decided what I was going to ask him, so I paused for a moment. Then, a question suddenly occurred to me.
“Is she cute?”
When I asked, Yoshida-san raised an eyebrow.
“What are you on about?”
“Well, I was just curious.”
I’m indeed curious. However, I realized it was a mistake to ask that question.
Yoshida-san scratched his nose. Just from that movement, I could somehow predict the answer.
“Well, she’s more than cute.”
When Yoshida-san said that, his eyes started wandering all over the place. He continued to speak, mumbling.
“She’s… a beauty.”
Upon hearing those words, I felt a little bit of pain in my chest. I’m not sure what I hate so much about it.
“Oh, wow…”
Even though I was the one who asked the question, I couldn’t help but give a half-assed response. To keep him from realizing how I felt, I took a sip of miso soup, which tasted a little off.
“Gotou-san and this Kanda-san… Yoshida-san, you really like older, beautiful women, huh?”
When I made a smiling face and said it in a teasing way, Yoshida-san blushed a little.
“…Shut up.”
My chest hurt again at his reaction.
“W-What are you embarrassed about? I’m just teasing you.”
“Why do I have to be teased by a brat?”
“Haha… oops. Sorry.”
I laughed and then I quickly got up.
Yoshida-san looked at me with a rather surprised expression.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m going to use the bathroom.”
“Oh… okay.”
Yoshida-san nodded and dropped his gaze to the table again. I walked a little towards the bathroom, then turned around.
“You know what?”
“Hmm?”
My eyes met with Yoshida-san’s, who raised his head at the sound of my voice.
“Me, too…”
That’s all I said. Then, I took a closer look at Yoshida-san’s expression.
What I meant was that I’m beautiful too. That’s what I was trying to say. I felt like I made a fool of myself after I said that.
The way he looked at me was so normal. It was such a common response that it seemed like someone in his family had said it. It was the kind of look you get when your family calls you and you respond in the usual way.
“Nevermind.”
“…Hmm?”
“I-I’m going to use the bathroom now.”
“Right…”
For some reason, I felt embarrassed. I rushed into the bathroom and left the confused Yoshida-san to his dinner. I didn’t really need to use the bathroom, so I left the lid down and sat down on the toilet seat.
What did I want to do?
I was deeply bothered with my conversation with Yoshida-san a few moments ago. And his comments made me feel miserable.
I let out a sigh.
I don’t know what’s stirring me up so much. I’m confused.
Regardless of the appearance of his ex-girlfriend, I’m sure that Yoshida-san will continue to have feelings for Gotou-san. And I’m sure that soon enough I won’t have anything to do with him.
So why do I care so much about it? Not only am I bothered by it, but I don’t even like it.
“…I don’t know.”
I’ve been thinking about this ever since I moved away from home.
I don’t know what to do with myself.
Again, I let out a sigh.
I felt bad about wasting money, but I couldn’t leave the bathroom without flushing, so I pulled the lever and flushed the toilet.