As I patted Selena on the back as she sobbed, on the inside, I was at a complete loss.
I just don’t know what I should do.
Selena said that Jared would do anything for me (though it’s just a misunderstanding on her part) before saying “I’m so envious that he loves you so much,” with bright-red cheeks. Then immediately after… she said “I’m truly envious,” in a terribly wistful voice as teardrops began to fall one by one from her large eyes.
“S – Selena! What’s the matter – are you alright?!”
I panicked. I went up to Selena and threw my arms around her shoulders.
“… Katarina-sama… to worry about me, even after what I did to you… you really are a saint, just like the rumours say. In comparison, I… I’m just a failure. It’s no wonder that Ian-sama ended up hating me,” says Selena before bursting into tears again.
Rumours? Saint? I didn’t really understand the meaning behind some of her words, but more importantly, I didn’t know what to do about Selena, who had burst out crying again.
I just stand by her, patting her back.
And then, as I stand there unable to do anything but continue patting her back, eventually Selena calms down a little bit.
“My apologies for losing my composure…” says Selena, eyes bright red. She seems like she’s about to collapse at any moment.
“… I just became a little envious of how close you and Jared-sama are…”
“Envious?”
That black-hearted prince and I definitely don’t have a relationship worthy of being envied, but Selena seems be under the misunderstanding that we’re a loving couple…
“Yes. How wonderful it must be to love each other and support each other.”
“… I’m not just envious of you and Jared-sama… Geoffrey-sama and Suzanna-sama, Alan-sama and Mary-sama… I’m so very envious of all of you for having the kind of relationship where you support each other on an equal level.”
I don’t know about Geoffrey-san, but are Mary and Alan really on an equal level? If I had to pick one, I’d say that Mary is stronger. There’s times when Alan looks like a dutiful servant when he’s escorting Mary.
But I wasn’t really able to say that in an atmosphere like this, so I just shut up and listen to Selena’s story.
“Suzanna-sama is praised as the most intelligent woman in the country.”
Huh, so that sexy lady is known for something like that.
“Mary-sama is praised for being a perfect example of a noble’s daughter.”
It’s true that Mary is really amazing. Her dancing and manners are both perfect. It’s little wonder that she would make someone act like a servant.
“Katarina-sama, you’re praised for being saint-like.”\nWait, me?! I’m renowned for being saint-like?! Unfortunately, I’ve never heard such praises – rather, I’ve never even been admired like that.
But to be called saint-like… Ah, maybe I missed part of the word and she actually said unrestrained-like? My teachers often praised me for “having lots of spirit”, after all.
“In comparison, I don’t have anything that makes me stand out at all… my magic is weak and I’m not that smart… I’m a useless fiancée who can’t support Ian-sama – no, worse. I’m nothing but dead weight to him,” says Selena, tears forming in her eyes again, “So I wanted to help Ian-sama, even if it was only with something little… so I planned this kidnapping. Katarina-sama, I’m so very sorry.”
Tears fell from Selena’s eyes.
So her magic is weak and she isn’t very smart… I feel kinship with her.
Well, I feel like I finally understand why Selena planned this incident despite looking so guilty all the time. Her methods were a bit questionable, but she just wanted to help out the person she loved. Once that crosses my mind, I begin to think that Selena is sweet.
“I am naturally prepared to accept the consequences once everything is over and done with.”
“Huh, consequences?”
“Yes. I will dissolve my engagement with Ian-sama, and turn myself in for my crimes,” says Selena with determined, unwavering eyes.
What, she’ll dissolve her engagement and turn herself in?! What is she thinking?!
“W – why?! You did something like this because you love Ian-sama and want to help him out, right? But now you’re saying that you’ll dissolve your engagement and turn yourself in… are you alright with that?”
“Yes. This was something I did independently due to my attachment to Ian-sama. I’ve resolved myself.”
“Even if you did it independently, you two are still engaged, aren’t you?”
It’s like she’s saying that her feelings aren’t returned.
“… When I was young, I was chosen to be Ian-sama’s fiancée because we were close in age and I had magic… but like I said before, my magic is weak and I’m not even good at studying. In the end, even my parents and other relatives began saying that it might be better for someone else to be the prince’s fiancée. It can’t be helped. The other princes’ fiancées are all perfectly capable of helping their fiancés, but I’m no help at all – I’m just a burden.”
I mean, same here – back home, my mother always says “Jared-sama should choose a different fiancée! Our daughter will just hold Jared-sama back.”
The kinship I had been feeling with Selena becomes stronger. It seems like we’re pretty similar.
“And I’m sure that Ian-sama hates someone useless like me already,” continues Selena, unaware of what I’m thinking. She averts her gaze.
Ian hates Selena? I think back to the school festival. Selena had been escorted by the serious, strict-looking second son Ian. I have no idea what their relationship is like from just that one encounter. So I ask:
“Hey, Selena-sama. Have you ever asked Ian-sama about this?”
“What?!”
“Have you ever asked Ian-sama about what he thinks about you?”
“H – how could I ask something like that?! But Ian-sama is always cold to me, and everyone around us says that Ian-sama probably already hates me…”
“But that’s just what the people around you say, and not what Ian-sama himself said, right? It could be just your imagination that he’s cold to you, too.”
“… But.”\nYou can’t rely on what people around you say. My strict little brother in particular always says “Be careful – nobles say nothing but lies.”
If I believed all those rumours out there, I would think that I was a lovely noble lady loved by Jared – the complete opposite situation from the truth. Not to mention…
“Feelings are something that can only be understand by one person – the person who holds them. So if you want the truth, you need to confirm things with Ian-sama himself!”
“… Confirm things?”
Selena looks up.
“Yes, you need to talk with Ian-sama!”
After all, if you don’t properly talk things out, you end up in the dark forever. For example, I’ve learned so much about what kind of person Selena is just by talking with her just now.
Selena stares at me, her round brown eyes open wide.
“Hey, Selena-sama. You’ve been saying this whole time that you’re a failure, but I don’t think so.”
Honestly, I’m just as bad at magic and stupid as Selena is, and most people are on our level. It’s just that a small subset of people are super amazing.
“More importantly, you worried about a complete stranger like me so much that you couldn’t even sleep, and you have enough resolve to throw yourself in jail for the person you love.”
I would never be able to do something like that, much less while thinking that the person I loved hated me. She’s completely different from me – I made a toy snake just in case Jared hated me and I needed to get rid of him.
I look straight into Selena’s brown eyes.
“Selena-sama, you’re kind and strong and not a failure in the slightest. You’re a lovely person.”
Selena opens her eyes wide.
“… No one has ever said anything like that to me,” says Selena, looking dumbfounded.
I smile widely.
“Then I’ll say it as many times as you want from now on. So, won’t you please become my friend?”
She spent all her time worrying about me even though she looked so much worse. She said that she didn’t care if she was thrown in jail if it was for the person she loved. She looks like a frail little animal, but she’s a gracious and strong girl.
Perhaps it’s strange for a kidnapper and their victim to become close, but I’ve begun to really like this girl called Selena during the short time we’ve had together.
I really feel like we’ve gotten closer after talking like this. I feel like we could be good friends.
I hold out my hand to Selena with a smile.
“… To say such things to your kidnapper… Katarina-sama, you truly are just like the rumours say…” murmurs Selena as she gazes at the hand I hold out.
Huh? What does she mean by rumours? Those rumours about how I’m an ‘unrestrained’ girl?
“… If you’re alright with someone like me, then I’d gladly become your friend,” says Selena, taking my hand in hers. She then looks back at me and continues, “… Katarina-sama… I think I should properly talk with Ian-sama himself without worrying about the people around me, like you said.”
\nHe was a handsome boy like no one I had ever seen before. I had been nervous enough just being in front of him, but at the sight of his face, I went rigid.
“N – nice to meet you. M – my n – n – name is Selena Burke.”
I had practiced my greeting so many times, but thanks to my nervousness it came out horribly. The adults around me snickered.
I was embarrassed – my face was warm. I was sure that my face was red. Realizing that, I grew even more embarrassed and unconsciously looked downward.
“Nice to meet you, Selena. My name is Ian Stuart. I look forwards to getting along with you from now on,” responded Ian with a serious face. He held out his hand to me.
He didn’t laugh at my greeting that everyone around us had snickered at, nor at my bright red face.
My younger self immediately fell in love with that warm hand he held out to me.
That was the first time I met Ian-sama.
I had been born into a Duke’s family, I was around the same age as the prince, and I had magic. For those three reasons, I, Selena Burke, was chosen as the fiancée of this country’s second prince, Ian Stuart. Our wants and desires played no part in the engagement.
But after meeting Ian, I fell in love. That young love that was born on that day just grew and grew. He’s earnest, works hard, and is awkwardly kind. Every time I met Ian, my love for him grew larger.
Today, over ten years since I became his fiancée, I now hold Ian-sama dearer than anyone else.
But despite how much my feelings grew, my magic – the very thing that had triggered our engagement – wouldn’t grow at all.
No matter how hard I work in my desire to stand by Ian’s side, my magic remains weak. No matter how desperately I throw myself into my studies, my grades don’t reflect my effort.
I was able to enroll in the magic academy with Ian and the others because I had magic, but I wasn’t able to become a member of the student council admired by the student populace.
Geoffrey-sama, Suzanna-sama, Ian-sama – they were all chosen, but I alone was a terrible student.
To make things worse, Geoffrey and Suzanna often spent time with each other and seemed pretty close… but Ian and I did not. Ian wouldn’t meet with me unless he needed something. He wouldn’t touch me unless he needed to, and even when we met, I felt like there was a distance between us.
Seeing the state of our relationship, everyone around us gossiped that Ian-sama hated his stupid, useless fiancée.
And when Ian and I graduated the academy, Ian’s younger twin brothers Jared-sama and Alan-sama entered it, along with their fiancées. Both of them were chosen to be student council members, along with Alan’s fiancée Mary-sama.
Jared’s fiancée Katarina-sama wasn’t chosen as a student council member, but it was said that she was loved by the student populace so much she had her own fan club.
After hearing the stories, my parents and other relatives began saying that it might be better for someone else to be the prince’s fiancée.
The wonderful princes and their fiancées… in that group, the only one who didn’t belong was me. Why am I such a failure? No matter how hard I try, I can’t do any better than average – it’s natural that Ian-sama would hate me.
Despite all that, I wanted to help him… no matter how, I wanted to pay him back somehow for all the trouble I’d caused him up until now…
That man appeared in front of me when I was thinking of nothing but helping Ian.
“I shall aid you with your desires.”
Saying that, he told me that there was something even I could do to help Ian.