Radka lost his appetite after training due to heat fatigue, and decided that it was better to go out hunting rather than stuff himself with lunch while feeling horrible.
He forced himself to walk to the dining hall since he couldnāt have Igor or Calvin carry him back every time he couldnāt move, but in the end, he hardly ate anything, so they scolded him.
(Igor and Calvin will probably stop bothering me so much if I eat breakfast and dinner properly instead of having lunch.)
When the trainee nun stayed in the village, she had taught Radka more things than just the notoriety of nobles. His mother couldnāt work, and he was always starving since he didnāt have the strength to work, so she shared her knowledge about wild grasses with him. Wild grasses that are considered poisonous due to the fact that their leaves and fruits couldnāt be eaten, and seeds which were discarded because of their strong bitter taste could be considered as food, as long as one knew how to prepare and cook them. The nomad nuns who travelled through the vast Arxian lands have passed down knowledge on these wild grasses for generations to avoid disputes over food in places they stayed at.
(Iāll probably be fine as long as I have this much. Iām getting a little tired.)
Radka looked down at the woven basket at his side. The amount of grass and nuts that filled the inside of the basket was slightly less than he had planned to gather, but the heat combined with doing something he wasnāt used to made him not want to continue.Ā Itās not like Iām sharing it with anyone,Ā Radka thought and went straight back to the barracks.
There was no sunlight in the dining hall of the barracks, and it was well ventilated, so it was comfortable to be in there. He sat in the corner of the dining hall, moistened his throat, and processed what he had harvested. Radka suddenly remembered Elize while silently working on removing the inedible parts of the wild grasses and hollowing out the nuts from the shell.
(Come to think of it, I havenāt been to see her lately.)
He had been resting in the barracks after training since the increase in training and heat fatigue had left him feeling physically exhausted. Thinking back, he had abruptly stopped his visits. He couldnāt tell her in advance that his training had increased, and the temperature suddenly rose on days when he thought it would rain, so he hadnāt visited her.
(ā¦ I wonder what she thinks about me not visiting all of a sudden. Elize-sama is kind, so she might be worried that something happened to meā¦)
He felt strangely hopeful when he thought that. The girlās jingly voice as she said, āPlease come again, I look forward to talking to you,ā warmed his heart.
ā¦ But, in the next second, Radka suddenly felt as if he had been thrusted into an abyss of anxiety. The knife, which he had used to cut the grass, slipped out his hand and fell to the ground with a thump.
His motherās trembling voice echoed at the back of his mind and overlapped with Elizeās words, āPlease donāt leave mother aloneā¦ā That was the wish his mother had repeated over and over when he was still hidden in the house.
āāā After Radka had gone against her wish and escaped from that house, his mother gradually stopped recognising him. She didnāt notice even when he returned wounded. She also barely responded to his voice before she died. He knew that escaping to protect himself hadnāt been a mistake, and that it hadnāt directly driven his mother insane, but he felt guilty for betraying her.
(Elize-sama isnāt crazy like my mother.)
Radka desperately tried to drive her voice out of his head.
(I didnāt betray Elize-samaās wish. I didnāt betray her.)
He desperately tried to deny, but his head thought of chilling situations on its own.Ā What if Elize-sama felt betrayed since I didnāt go visit her? Or, if Iām no longer valuable to herā¦ Elize-sama is a noble. No matter how much I say she is different from other nobles that Iāve heard about, sheāll probably quickly forget about a commoner who doesnāt even come to see herā¦ She might be angry, wondering why I didnāt obey her words when she told me to visit her.
An uncomfortable feeling that felt like fear creeped over from his toes at his unpleasant imagination. He shook his head to shake off the feeling and picked up his knife again. He went back to his work and immersed himself in the simple movements to try and forget the fear.
The fear that expanded in Radkaās head by the end turned into an obsession to go see Elize. He didnāt even take a break after training was over, and dragged his nauseous and tired body to see Elize.
(We havenāt seen each other in a month, so Iām sure Elize-sama isnāt waiting for me.)
She probably wouldnāt wait that long for someone who never came,Ā he bit his lips. He should have realised that time was passing sooner and visited her earlier.
āāā However, as he walked around the building and out towards the courtyard, the waiting person was still there. Radkaās heart beat faster the moment he saw Elize resting her elbow on the window sill with a sombre look on her face.
āEelize-sama!ā
He quickly ran to the window and called out her name, then Elize noticed Radka as well and she looked surprised and happy.
āElize-sama!ā
Elize called the same name that she had been called. It felt extremely uncomfortable to be called that name, since he hadnāt been called in a long time, but he didnāt care about that for a second when he saw Elizeās face loosen in happiness. The name that the feudal lordās daughter had forced on him was annoying, but even that didnāt matter if he considered that he got that name from this girl.
At the same time, the anxiety and fear that had been tormenting him so much disappeared as if it was an illusion.
āIām sorry that I stopped comingā¦ without saying anything.ā
āNo, itās fineā¦ I was worried since you hadnāt come here for a while. I wondered if something had happened to youā¦ But Iām relieved you look fine.ā
She said with a dazzling smile and Radka felt his chest squeeze. His heart pounded strongly to the point it hurt and the palpitation sounded at the back of his ears.
(Seeā¦ It was okay after all. Elize-sama hasnāt forgotten about me.)
Radkaās mind went numb with relief as if he had been blessed with something.
(Elize-sama is special, she wouldnāt do something terrible, even if she doesnāt think of commoners as peopleā¦)
He wiped his blood-soaked eyes at the contradicting thought that almost flashed through his mind, and presented the gift he had clenched in his palm. They were remarkably nutritious and tasty seeds that he had carefully processed yesterday.
āUmm, here. I brought you these in order to make up for not being able to visit. I gathered them yesterday. Iāll throw it up there now.ā
He nervously clenched the seeds again. Elizeās room was on the second floor, so he needed to throw them up there to give them to her.
(I wonder if sheāll think that she doesnāt need it. Elize-sama is a noble, and she eats food cooked by chefs every day. She probably wonāt be happy with these seeds that even the villagers ignoreā¦)
Elize tilted her head in puzzlement as Radka looked up at her nervously. Then she asked curiously.
āWhat does āgatherā mean?ā
Her response was too surprising. Radkaās brain stopped since he couldnāt process what had happened.
āAhā¦ What?ā
Elize looked down blankly at Radka who had raised his voice stupidly and froze. Silence fell between them. What does āgatherā mean? Radka couldnāt be blamed for not understanding the question that had gone into his ears even after taking five deep breaths.
Something that was very natural for Radka, that even children did for work, was something distant to Elize, who didnāt make her own food because she was a noble, and was raised carefully in a box since she had a weak constitution.
āāā He suddenly heard a giggle. The sound, which came from Elizeās window, caused him to put his guard up.
After having been placed in the barracks, he didnāt recall being told that it was alright for him to approach the mansion. On the other hand, he hadnāt been told that he couldnāt approach either, but this was the residence of a noble. He faintly sensed that he must not approach the mansion, since he was a commoner. Therefore, he always moved through the shadows to avoid being seen, whenever he came here. Since there was no guarantee that there wouldnāt be another person besides Elize who wouldnāt criticise him.
And yetā¦
āWhaat, Maya? Whyāre you laughing?ā
āā¦ Well, Ojou-samaā¦ I just thought that you surprised him.ā
Elize started talking to the owner of the voice without being particularly bothered by the fact that Radka had completely frozen in place. The owner of the voice responded calmly to Elize.
āHarvesting edible flowers and nuts is called gathering. Iām sure Eliza-sama mentioned this when she talked about living at the barracks.ā
āYes, youāre rightā¦ I see, so thatās what gathering means.ā
Elize turned back to Radka with a satisfied smile on her face. Radka smiled in the spur of the moment, but even he could tell that his cheeks were twitching.
(Sheās talking as if she knows about me. Has she been in the room the whole timeā¦?)
Could it be that she has been listening to my conversation with Elize-sama the whole time?Ā When he thought that, he felt a twitching sensation in his chest.
He had thought that this relaxing interaction was just between Elize and himself, and he even felt that it was sacred.
Radka was āāā but he tried his best to drive away all of the complex emotions, which had made his cheeks twitch, from the corner of his mind.
Elize-sama is a noble. Iām sure nobles are used to having their personal interactions being heard by a third party. That must be natural to them. This is normal to her, just like how she didnāt know the word āgatherā; in other words, nothing I said meant anything to her.
āāāĀ No matter how different she is from my image of a nobleā¦ She is a ānobleā without a doubt,Ā he felt. The existence of the ānoblesā that the stained red eyed girl hated still remained in him.
āWhatās wrong?ā
Elize tilted her head curiously and looked down at Radka.
āāāā About what? Nothing?ā
It seemed that each of their social positions indicated their relationship, and Radka quietly took his eyes off Elize.
(My stomachā¦ is kind of painful for some reasonā¦)