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Chapter 83




Cersinia doesn’t know how to explain it. She just has to tell him what she has been through. It was something she had to say to him, even more, they’re being together now.
“Everyone is like that.”
His affectionate eyes looked at Cersinia’s face.
“It’s different. I feel like it’s not myself…”
“Are you talking about your power?”
Ben remembered earlier in her confession that she was afraid that a curse-like power would hurt him.
“That’s right. I lose my consciousness very often. And when I came to my senses, it was already a sea of fire, or someone was injured.”
Her consciousness that disappeared like a rope snapped lasted not only for 1 or 2 seconds when she couldn’t control her emotions. But when she came to her senses, the cabin was already a sea of fire, and the vivid feelings of twisting the woman’s neck remained in her hand.
“I’m worried. I’m afraid this power will hurt you.”
She is afraid that something that happened like in the Harvest festival will come again at any time. If that happens, Ben would be willing to sacrifice his life. Ben won’t be able to attack her. Cersinia was afraid of that. She’s afraid he will be seriously hurt.
“Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened, Cersinia.”
Ben hugged her, who was anxious. He wrapped his arms around her slender waist and put his arm around her neck without a gap.
“I keep worrying. That’s why I tried to leave you.”
Cersinia opened her mouth at his wide arms.
“If that’s the case, that’s also yourself, so I will be fine.”
“No, that’s not me.”
She knew this would happen. Cersinia frowned and shook her head.
“It’s not the ‘me’ you know. Even in the same body, I’m a completely different person with that.”
It was not clear whether she lost her reason or whether the original Cersinia ego appeared. But one thing is certain it’s not what she wants. She doesn’t want to live like the original Cersinia. That’s why she has been living all the time quietly.
“I can recognize it.”
“What?”
“If Cersinia turns into someone else, I can recognize it.”
His eyes were unshakable, facing her straight. It was an unproven word, but Cersinia somehow believed Ben might really recognize it.
“Then promise me.”
“What kind of promise is it?”
“If I changed and didn’t come back to the way I was, and if I injure other people or you, then grab your sword.”
If Ben gets hurt by herself when she comes to her senses, she will be disgusted by herself, and it will be unbearable. So Ben had to make that promise. She hopes he doesn’t lose his life at her hands.
“Cersinia, that’s…”
“Promise me. If you can recognize it, don’t be docile like an idiot,” Cersinia said firmly.
Perhaps very confused, his gaze was lost and shaken greatly. She added a word to put a wedge.
“Only then can I be by your side all the time.”
“…How can I point my sword at Cersinia?”
His gloomy voice subsided as if he couldn’t do it.
“I’m telling you. We can be together if you promise that.”
She turned away from his arms. It was the last resort to get his promise. Surprised at her action, Ben hugged Cersinia even tighter.
‘I could never let her go.’
“All right…”
Ben was forced to lift the white flag. Because the words that said that she had no choice but to leave his side was equivalent to a death sentence.
“Thank you.”
Now Cersinia smiled bashfully and buried his face on his hard chest. Ben’s arms always reassured herself. Because only by his side could she be herself.
“…”
Ben swallowed his saliva at the soft feel that penetrated his arms. His mind was numb, and his heart was about to explode. He had just been threatened with parting, but it was like it had never happened before. From the beginning, in front of her, he didn’t show any pride, courage, or guts.
The two talked about what they couldn’t finish until the moon set and the sun rose. It was a time when happiness overflowed just by hugging each other. The two prayed that this time would last forever. And they hoped that the promised day would never come.
* * *
“Isn’t that too much?”
May pouted and grunted.
“What?”
Cersinia frowned and stared at May, flopping on the sofa opposite her.
“After you’re doing well with the Grand Duke, you two always stick together.”
A week has passed since that day. Cersinia visited the maid who locked her in the basement and fired her in person. Because she didn’t want a person with that kind of personality to stay in this mansion. After the basement work was over, Cersinia and Ben were really together from morning to evening to the point where they never separated.
“It’s not only that. Even the Grand Duke carried Cersinia around for a week because your ankle is hurt.”
“But, I rejected that too…”
“You rejected that, but because it was the Grand Duke, you couldn’t help it. I know that.”
Cersinia had nothing to say because it hit the nail. As May said, her swollen ankle made it difficult for her to walk, and she already refused, but Ben still carried her around. She refused because there were a lot of eyes to see, but she couldn’t beat him. Every day she ate with him in his room, and when she went down for a walk in the garden, Ben hugged her and took her to the garden.
She couldn’t forget all the servants and Murchen’s expression on the first day Ben hugged her down the stairs. Their astonishment looked as if they had seen something unbelievable. She got goosebumps due to their excessive expression, but she didn’t want to care about other people’s gaze. She didn’t want to hide her feelings just because she was conscious of their gazes. Of course, she couldn’t help being embarrassed, but she didn’t hate to let them know that Ben’s affectionate actions were only to herself. No, rather, she feels good about it.
Ben carried Cersinia full days. Only yesterday, she could walk directly, and the doctor said that she was well now. When the doctor said that she could now walk on her own, she remembered Ben’s expression of regret.
“Cersinia! Didn’t you hear me now? Or you thought about the Grand Duke again?”
“Huh?”
Surprised, she looked at May with bewildered eyes, wondering how she knew.
“I know it all. You smiled.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You just made a pretty smile.”
Cersinia let out a small laugh at her words. It was funny to see May, who complained she was lonely these days.
“I’m so serious!”
“Okay, okay. I got it. Let’s go to the glass garden with Verne tomorrow.”
“Really?”
May smiled brightly when she promised with her little finger on the line. Cersinia, who had been alone for the first time in a long time after May left the room, was looking at the window. She wondered when Ben, who left saying he had left for a while, would return.
Knock. Knock.
“Come in.”
When she answered the knock, Verne came in.
“Lady Cersinia, I think you should come out now.”
“Huh? What’s going on”?
Verne was in a hurry with an unfamiliar look on her face.
“Lady Cersinia, a messenger has arrived from the Imperial Palace.”
“To me? Not for Ben?”
“Yes, they said Lady Cersinia’s name correctly.”
Cersinia jumped up from her seat in surprise.
‘What’s the occasion of a messenger coming to me from the Imperial Palace?’
‘Did the Crown Prince send it?’
But there is no way that Limapheus will send a messenger officially. Her mind was completely blurred in an unexpected situation, making it impossible to think normally.
“I think you should go out first.”
Along with that, Verne’s nervous face turned white. Cersinia moved her steps first. Sweat dripped from her hands, and the back of her neck heated up all the way out of the room to the front door of the mansion. Her heart, which was pounding like a drum, couldn’t calm down, fearing that something bad would happen.
Arriving at the door with her stiff body, Cersinia had no choice but to be stunned. Five men were waiting for her, dressed in uniforms with imperial emblems on them. All of them have solemn expressions that seem to spit out sharp words at any moment.
‘What the hell is going on?’
She couldn’t help being anxious for no reason. Because her relationship with the Imperial Palace was not good in the novel. Seeing Cersinia’s red hair coming down the stairs, one of the men stepped forward and asked.
“Are you Lady Cersinia?”
“Yes. What’s… going on?”
Cersinia asked with a lot of anxiety. Her stiff shoulders were numb from the tension. In a distant place, butler Murchen and the servants had gathered. They murmured at the news that the messenger from the Imperial Palace had arrived.
“The Empress Dowager has sent an invitation to Lady Cersinia.”
The messenger held out an invitation in his hand. The white envelope had a golden seal made of wax. The seal pattern was a symbol of the Imperial family. Cersinia doesn’t know what it is, but she accepts the invitation with her trembling hands.
“Then, excuse me.”
As if their work was done, the messenger exited the mansion in an angled manner. It was a quick exit to the point where her nervousness was overshadowed.
“Your Majesty the Empress Dowager?” Verne asked, puzzled.
“I know.” Cersinia was also puzzled.
‘What do you mean the Empress Dowager? I’ve only met the Crown Prince, and I’ve never met her. But to give me an invitation…’
It was all confusing.
Cersinia left behind the servants who couldn’t overcome their curiosity and came up to her room with Verne.
“What kind of invitation is it?”
“I don’t know either.”
Cersinia gently tore off the seal. There was an invitation in the envelope. The colorful golden patterns engraved on the invitation were dazzling.
“This is an invitation to Her Majesty the Empress Dowager’s birthday banquet!” Before she could even finish reading, Verne shouted.
As Verne said, Cersinia was invited to Empress Dowager’s birthday banquet a week later in the invitation. She wondered if she had to come as Ben’s partner, but the invitation only had Cersinia’s name written on it.