chapter 52

Ben staggered over with rough steps and grabbed Cersinia’s wrist. An obsession resided in the deep, submerged dark purple eyes. He grabbed her luggage with his other hand.

“Did you try to disappear without saying a word?” his dark, shad voice echoed through the room.

Ben hold tightened around Cersinia’s wrist. It strength was as much as his desire wanted to locked Cersinia, so she could never leave his side.

He left like locking Cersinia up, so she could never leave his side.

“No, it’s a misunderstanding,” Cersinia replied to him, who misunderstood.

But even she know it all didn’t make sense. She literally got caught packing her luggage, like she was going to run away. Well…she did try to run away…

“Misunderstanding?”

His face, which had a sad smile painted on it, hardened coldly. All of the excitement he felt earlier, when Cersinia said she would come to the capital and stay with him, vanished like dust.

‘Did you come with me to run away like this?’

‘Or you’re taking your revenge because of what happened three years ago…?’

Ben bit his bottom lip gently. He knew that he was a sinner for leaving her alone for three years. But the sight of Cersinia trying to run away, sparked in him, his disgusting and selfish desire to tie her up and keep her in his arms.

“It really is a misunderstanding.”

Cersinia affirmed while looking straight into his eyes. Looking at his expression, it seems like he had already misunderstood.

Waiting for Ben’s response, she stayed silent for a moment. Things were going the wrong way. She didn’t mean to do this. Seeing the female protagonist scared her so much that she didn’t even think about Ben’s reaction or feelings. Of course she would leave the Grand Duchy, but it was after finding a place to settle, like she promised.

‘But it’ll be hard for me to keep seeing Verne…’

Honestly, she wanted to stay in the Grand Duchy for the time being. She wanted to continue to enjoy the comfort that came like sweet candy. The small fact that he would give her this much convenience had conflicted her mind. Moreover, she hasn’t found out the cause of Ben’s wounds yet.

Cersinia was in trouble. If Verne doesn’t attend her, they won’t run into each other, right? This mansion is as large as a palace, so they’ll rarely see each other, and it would be better like that.

“I was just trying to move my luggage.”

After thinking about it, Cersinia decided to stay here a bit longer. So, she uttered an excuse which also did not make sense.

“…”

Ben didn’t say anything, he was thinking deeply about the situation.

“Ben, your grip…”

Cersinia gently frowned at the force she felt on her wrist. Ben startled, released her wrist, like someone who didn’t know that he was holding on to her.

“Ah, I’m sorry…”

He apologized and looked at Cersinia’s wrist. His heart sank upon seeing the red handprint on her slender wrists. At the same time, he felt dizzy. Because of his own selfishness, he left a mark on Cersinia’s wrist.

“Cersinia, I’m really sorry.”

His apologetic eyes shook greatly. Ben was restless like a man who had committed a great sin.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.”

Cersinia was worried about him, since he was the type to be greatly shaken by trivial things. And right now he was anxious.

“I’m really sorry…”

Ben swept away his angry face. He wanted to believe what she said that he misunderstood it, but he couldn’t smile as usual.

Even though he was worried, Ben was still angry but concealed it. He wanted to believe that, like she said, it was all a misunderstanding. But, he was still worried about her disappearing, so he couldn’t smile as usual.

Because of today’s event, it was hard for him to suppress his possessiveness. He wanted to lock Cersinia in a place where no one could find her, where only he could see her. Only this could calm his anxious heart and mind, even if it all sounds distasteful and twisted.

But this desire of his made him lose his composure. Her slender wrist could’ve been broken because of him. That’s when he became afraid of his twisted desire. He promised himself to not do anything Cersinia didn’t want, so how could he be thinking of locking her up by force?!

‘Does my heart sincerely care for Cersinia ? Or does everyone have this kind of desires like me?’

It seemed like his anxiety and selfishness could one day surpass him and hurt her someday.

“Ben?”

Cersinia cautiously called him, who was holding his breath, but he didn’t answer.

Ben couldn’t get rid of his distorted face even when Cersinia’s friendly voice called him. She was always kind towards him, she even accepted him with an unwavering expression. But the moment she gets to know about his true feelings, she may run away and hide from him for the rest of her life. She might never call him in such affectionate way anymore and that terrified Ben to his core.

“Stop biting your lip. It’s going to bleed again.”

Cersinia reached out to him, who dropped his shoulders helplessly. Her warm fingers touched on his cold lips.

“I’m not going anywhere, anytime soon.”

At her touch, Ben slowly raised his head. There were countless things he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. His eyes were glimmering in possessiveness.

“Is that true?” He moved his dry lips.

Cersinia didn’t see his dark purple eyes glimmering.

“Yes, I promise.”

Ben saw a little hope from her answer. Which helped him get up from the abyss that almost him.

“I hope Cersinia means it.”

His eyes were clouded with longing as he stared intently at Cersinia. He wanted to monopolize and posses everything she wanted, so she would not leave him, while trying his best not to get caught by her.

“…That’s right.”

Cersinia wanted to avoid his gaze as it made her feel naked. But she couldn’t avoid it, not with the current situation. Ben’s eyes were fiercer than she had ever seen them before. He seemed to be longing for something deep. And somehow, her body was heating up.

“Cough! Cough…”

Cersinia eventually couldn’t overcome the shyness and cough in vain.

“Haa…huu. Lady Cersinia, are you okay?”

At that time, Verne entered her room, gasping for her breath. The atmosphere that could have been awkward changed because of Verne.

Verne had finally caught up with her master’s steps. As soon as she told him the story, he rushed out so fast that she had a hard time keeping up with him.

“Ah, yes. I’m okay.”

Cersinia thought that it was rather fortunate that Verne had come. Otherwise, she would have been fascinated by those eyes and wouldn’t be able to move.

“That’s a relief.”

Verne put a hand on her chest, genuinely relieved to see Cersinia’s complexion which now looked better than before. She was afraid that something would go wrong with Cersinia, but it seemed like her master resolved it.

“Thank you.”

Only then did Cersinia looked straight to Verne. Verne’s face lit up as she gentle smile made it’s way across her face. Cersinia had to remind herself that Verne, was a person, just like here. She speaks, acts and has emotions. And that she isn’t just letters written on a blank piece of paper.

Now, Cersinia was embarrassed of the way she reacted upon seeing Verne. Still, it felt strange for her to encounter a person she had only known from the novel and drawn only in her imagination. She was feeling both pleasant and a little scary, it was very confusing to her.

“Then please continue your conversation. I’ll be near if you need something.”

Verne bowed then left the room quickly. When she was out of the room, she praised herself for being tactful. From the moment she entered, the subtle atmosphere between the two of them made Verne’s heart flutter.

“No…!”

Cersinia almost yelled at Verne not to go. She couldn’t finish her words and kept her mouth shut, and again the two of them left alone. They felt uncomfortable with the situation.

“Cersinia.”

“Hey! You’d better give Verne another job.”

When Ben’s deep voice reached Cersinia’s ears, it startled her so much that she uttered out the first thing that came to her mind. She did not know what he was going to say but she did not want to find out. She was already having a hard time bearing the awkwardness and the embarrassment she felt.

“By any chance, did she make Cersinia feel uncomfortable?”

“No, that’s definitely not it. It’s just that I feel uncomfortable being served by someone, and I’m used to being alone.”

Cersinia shook her head, strongly denying it.

“Then I’ll appoint someone you can feel more comfortable with.”

“No, I don’t think I need servants…”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I feel comfortable being alone. Can you do that?”

“Yes, I understand.”

Ben’s face darkened as he answered. He quickly left her room after telling her to rest, because other wise he would let his desires get the best of him. There was not end to his growing desire. He promised to wait for her, but her attempt to leave made him anxious. Her attempt acted as a catalyst for his repressed desires.

Bein then decided it would be better not to see Cersinia for the time being. If Cersinia tried to run away from him, he’ll might keep her by his side by force. And it won’t only be her wrist that he’ll hurt but her ankle as well. And that could cause his biggest fear, being shunned by her. His footsteps echoed in the hallway.

“Haa…”

After Ben left, Cersinia, who was left alone, leaned against the closed door, exhausted.

“I really don’t know.”

The burning heat didn’t go away. Cersinia kept thinking of his eyes, and somehow, she felt like she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.