How long had he been standing in the rain, his body felt a striking chill. Raindrops were dripping down on his curled eyelashes. Judging by his shape, it looked like he had been standing all day since yesterday.
âWhat are you doing nowâŠ!â
Cersinia was angry at his foolish appearance. When she told him to go back, he ignored her and stood still in the rain. She was so angry that her head started pounding. She put her head in her hands.
When I told him to go back, he was waiting ignorantly and standing in the rain.
ââŠâ
Ben slowly raised his head as he noticed Cersiniaâs voice. The color of his skin turned pale as if the blood had evaporated, and his lips were pale and trembling. His empty eyes, which contained nothing, trembled greatly when he recognized her. Cersiniaâs existence was depicted in his eyes, which had only been empty, without focus.
âCersiniaâŠâ
A low voice, which had been outside for a long time, penetrated through the sound of the rain.
âIs it an illusion that his voice has become more mournful because he had been waiting outside?â
The eyes that resembled the night were already bright and contained Cersinia.
âIt was my fault.â
Benâs neck moved slowly. The corners of his mouth were stiff. Perhaps it was difficult for him to even spit out each word. He looked fragile for a man who was twice larger than her. He even looked precarious, like a person who climbed a cliff.
Ben raised his trembling hand and grabbed the hem of Cersiniaâs clothes. He held it very tightly as if he didnât want to miss it again. His eyes were restless, scared that Cersinia would turn back away from him. A terrifyingly cold sensation was conveyed over the hem. It was cold enough to make her body shiver.
Cersinia couldnât say anything. It was difficult to hastily bring up any words when she clearly felt his desperation.
âSo please, donât push me awayâŠâ
Droplets of tears flowed down from Benâs bloodshot eyes. His blue-tinted lower lip was torn from how hard he had been biting it. His drooping shoulders were trembling in the heavy rain.
* * *
Cersinia reached out to a fireplace that she had never used to start a fire. The flame from her hand fell between the firewood, drawing a parabola.
âCersiniaâŠâ
She heard a voice calling her carefully behind her back. It was a voice that bothered her mind countless times since yesterday.
She was so angry at his foolish behavior that she couldnât believe he had done that. But now, the first thing to do was to warm up his frozen body. The best way was to deliver heat directly to his body, but she didnât want to do that. Cersinia picked up a blower to ignite the flames in the fireplace.
âIâll do it.â
As he reached for the blower, droplets fell off his wet sleeves and wet the floor. His whole body was wet from the rain.
âJust stay still.â
Cersinia pulled the blower aside. Ben staying still would really help. It would also help if he wipes off the water that fell everywhere he passed by.
ââŠbut.â
Completely ignoring him, Cersinia crouched in front of the fireplace. Using the blower in her hand, the flame formed a perfect flame. That flame engulfed the firewood in front of her. It was hot enough to warm up her body in no time. Cersinia stood up, straightening her bent knees.
âWait. Iâll be back to see if there are any clothes for you to change into.â
âIâll joinâŠâ
Bent tried to be with her again as if he didnât want to leave even for a moment. Cersinia glared at him as if a large dog was chasing its owner and said, âJust warm up your body.â
Ben became sullen and shrugged his shoulders. He felt like he was being rejected over and over, and his heart ached like a throbbing pain.
ââŠYes, Iâll be waiting.â
She entered the room with a small sigh as she saw him drooping in despair. Ben only grew in size, but he was doing the same thing as in the past. Yesterday, he looked so unfamiliar, but after exchanging a few words, she felt the same as before.
âI donât know if there are any clothes that will fit him.â
âWill there be clothes that fit him who has grown up?â
Cersinia opened the small three-tier drawers in the corner of the room. The drawer that she hadnât opened since she moved here. She slipped her hand into the stinky drawer. As she fumbled with her hand to the deepest part, a piece of cloth caught her eyes. When the fabric was pulled out without hesitation, the finely folded clothes loosened and stretched.
The cloth in her hands was a large white cloth. The cloth Ben wore three years ago. She had it because she couldnât burn it or throw it away because she didnât know if Ben was alive or dead. She looked at his clothes, which she hadnât taken out for a long time. The pure white cloth has faded over time. It was a cloth she bought in Mulain Village three years ago. The cloth was tailored to a slightly large size for Ben, who was growing day by day. Cersinia measured the width of the cloth with her palm. It might be a little small for him, who had grown up, but it seemed like it would fit. Even if it doesnât fit, this is the only cloth she can give to him right now. Cersinia also took out the pants in the drawer and left the room.
âWhat are you doing?â
When she left the room, she saw Ben walking back and forth in front of the fireplace with an anxious face.
âAh, Cersinia.â
He, who was restless, smiled faintly when he saw her.
âItâs only been a few minutesâŠâ
Cersinia stared at him as if he would run to her at any moment.
âIf youâre being like this, then why did you disappear without a word?â
She shook her head and approached Ben.
âThe bathroom is over there. There is hot water, so go wash up.â
She casually held out the clothes in her hand. Ben looked at the clothes and widened his eyes.
âI thought youâd throw it awayâŠâ
His eyes were teary again, perhaps because he recognized it was his clothes.
âI just forgot and couldnât clean it up.â
Half of those words were right and wrong. But she doesnât have to tell him. Because she was still disappointed with him. Cersinia forced the clothes in her hand into his arms. At the same time, Benâs gaze followed Cersiniaâs hand.
âHurry up.â
Ben remained silent. The moment she was about to open her mouth again towards him, who was staring at something, Benâs mouth opened first.
ââŠIs your wrist really okay?â
Only then did Cersinia realize that his gaze was on her wrist. When she checked her wrist, there was still a faint red mark. It seems like it will take a few days for it to disappear because they were tied so tightly.
Ben was still caring about her wound that she didnât even know. His whole body was shivering from the cold, but he didnât even think to warm his body first. Even if she said it was okay, his worried expression didnât seem too easily relieved. When she told him to wash up, he was stuck on the place as if his legs were glued to the floor.
âItâs okay.â
Seeing him still worrying about her damped her disappointment. Cersinia looked at him, who was blaming himself. His clenched lips swelled as if they were about to drip with blood again.
âBen.â
He slowly raised his head but still bit his lips, perhaps he was unaware of the pain. Cersinia didnât want another scar on his torn lips, so she took a step closer to him and reached out her hand. Her fingers touched his cold lips. Benâs shoulders flinched, perhaps surprised by the sudden contact.
âStop biting it.â
âAhâŠâ
His lips fluttered open in a warm touch.
âItâs cold.â
Cersinia frowned at the cold temperature felt on her fingertips. As expected, his body was as cold as ice. Benâs lips were cold as someone who would die from frostbite at any moment.
âI really canât help itâŠâ
The temperature she felt in her hands was terrifying. Cersinia lowered her hand which reached out to check his condition. White, slender fingers passed over his torn lips and rested on his chest.
âUrghâŠâ
As her warm hands touched his chest, Ben trembled and stopped breathing. Cersinia looked at his quivering eyelashes and raised the heat to her hand. The heat that ran through her palms spread into his chest. His blue lips returned to a reddish hue as if proving that the heated hat had been transmitted. She took her hands away from Benâs body without hesitation. Ben looked sadly at the hands that got away from his body.
ââŠCersiniaâs hands were still warm,â his low voice seemed to contain a lot of meaning.
Cersinia looked at him sternly. Ben, who seems to have many stories in his own way, was lost in thought for a moment as if recalling the past. After some time passed, he raised his head slowly and said, âIâve always missed you. Itâs really true.â
Both his eyes looked truthful, deprived of lies. The look of his eyes that had been shaking for a while ago had disappeared.