chapter 29

Cersinia was sitting on a chair in the middle of the living room. May stood silently next to her. The house was quiet except for the sound of them breathing.

“Cersinia…”

What broke the silence between Cersinia and May was the mournful voice of a man from outside. The irregular voice was so desperate, that when you heard it, you would feel your heart aching. May couldn’t ignore the voice.

“C-Can’t you go out?”

Cersinia remained silent in response to May’s question, just staring at the wall. Her lips couldn’t open as if being locked by a lock. At Cersinia’s stubborn demeanor, May asked again, fiddling with her nails.

“…Do you want me to open the door for you?”

“Don’t open it.”

“Yes…”

May asked after much consideration, but she was sullen at Cersinia’s way of cutting her at once. The thin ice-like atmosphere started from the moment Cersinia entered the house. May couldn’t figure what had happened to them. It was as if she was looking at a big fight between lovers.

‘What kind of relationship do they have… It’s really confusing.’

May didn’t know what happened to the two of them or why Cersinia was angry with him. But one certain thing was that the man’s name was Ben.

Cersinia sometimes tossed and turned, searching for something in her dreams. Each time, that name came out of her mouth like a sigh. Ben, the only person Cersinia seeks unconsciously. May could easily deduce that the man was Ben.

“May, pack your things right now.”

“Pack my things?”

May, who was lost in thought, asked back Cersinia’s words.

“We can’t live in this village anymore.”

“Ah…”

At that moment, the events of yesterday and today came to May’s mind. Demons in human disguise came rushing in at night with torches. Without hesitation, they framed Cersinia and tried to force her to be burned. It was such a terrible and scary sight that May’s whole body trembled and her legs lost their strength.

Apparently, the villagers smiling warmly until yesterday morning suddenly had murderous intentions and threw stones at Cersinia. They were stained with anger, enough to fall for a person’s scheme and drag Cersinia, the victim. May saw their nature today. The instinct to bite and bring down someone to the floor if there is an object of criticism repulsed May. The cruel humanity revealed the ugly truth hidden behind the majority.

“…It’s so unfair to just leave like this.”

The scary and cruel thing that might appear in May’s dream was something she experienced personally two hours ago. Goosebumps appeared on May’s arms.

“It’s really… really unfair.”

Water filled the corners of May’s red eyes. May’s delicate shoulders trembled slightly, holding back her tears.

“That’s right.”

Cersinia’s crimson eyes sparkled sharply. She naturally recalled Goredon, who had come forward, saying he witnessed that she was the culprit. There was no doubt as to whether he had been threatened by Charles while he was holding his daughter tightly. Moreover, he didn’t point her out directly, but he said it was a black object.

Cersinia pondered at Goredon, who was avoiding her eyes. His face was pale, and his eyes were looked tired. She had to meet Goredon at once. She was framed and needed to leave the village, but it was very unfair. So she didn’t feel nice enough to disappear peacefully.

“Cersinia…”

When a desperate voice came out of the door again, Cersinia closed her eyes. Her head was throbbing. She didn’t have the courage to face Ben because of the boiling emotions from the depths of her heart.

“Looks like he’s still out there,” May who also heard Ben’s voice and spoke softly.

Cersinia closed her eyes as if she was trying to cut herself off from the world. May pursued her lips to keep her from asking since she didn’t know what kind of word would come out, but she really couldn’t stand the curiosity.

“Is Cersinia angry?”

“What?”

Cersinia opened her eyes and lifted her back from the chair.

“If that’s not the case, why are you being so harsh on him?”

With Cersinia’s blazing crimson eyes starring at her with intensity, May couldn’t continue talking as her voice slowly dwindled towards the end of her sentence. She couldn’t ask the question she really wanted to ask. She wanted to know if it was him who she was looking for in her dreams. But in this situation, it’s better not to mention it. If she said those words to Cersinia, who was very angry at the moment, it would have the opposite effect.

‘It seemed like Cersinia didn’t even know she was calling Ben in her sleep.’

Cersinia turned her gaze away from May and leaned back on the chair. It was a question that May, who knew nothing, could ask. She could be curious, but Cersinia couldn’t answer May’s question. She didn’t know if she was angry with Ben or not. She couldn’t define the feeling she felt when he suddenly appeared.

Cersinia muttered as if trying to sort out her mind, “He disappeared without a word three years ago and came suddenly after living without saying anything, not even a goodbye.”

“Ah, so you were disappointed.”

“Disappointed?”

“Yes, he left without a word and suddenly appeared, weren’t you disappointed?”

Cersinia’s mouth snapped like a clam. She was stunned as if she had been hit in the head. After three years of not delivering a letter or news, she only recognized this feeling when she heard Ben’s voice. When she saw him for the first time in the plaza, the feeling of boiling was a disappointment, as May said.

‘You already knew about it, Cersinia…’

Maybe she was pretending not to know. She’s upset that she feels disappointed by someone who disappeared without saying a word… It seems like she’s been ignoring her feelings because it felt unfair to be disappointed in him.

“I’d be so disappointed if I were you. I can’t believe he didn’t contact you for 3 years…”

May was nodding vigorously to sympathize.

“Yes… I must have been disappointed,” when Cersinia realized it and admitted it, her mouth was bitter.

Ben had now become so manly and so different from his old appearance. He had changed so much that he couldn’t be recognized at first glance. The only thing left from the old him were the corners of his eyes, which were still curved like a crescent moon.

All the longing and worries for Ben pilled up in her mind. She didn’t trust her feelings enough to face him with a smile. She honestly couldn’t even congratulate Ben on his change. She didn’t want to show the unexpected disappointment.

‘If I show my emotions, I’m afraid it will look like I’m the only one who missed our time…’

Cersinia seemed to be the only one who couldn’t move on from what happened three years ago.

“May, I have a favor to ask of you.”

She got up from the chair. Something she didn’t do after she entered the house and sat down two hours ago.

“Yes! Please speak.”

“Tell the person standing at the door to stop coming here.”

Cersinia didn’t want to think about anything now. There was an invisible gap between Ben and herself as big as the days they couldn’t spend together. The disappointment was still greater, so she couldn’t face him casually.

“Pardon?”

May’s eyes widened in embarrassment at the words that deviated from her expectations.

“I don’t want to see him now,’’ with those words, Cersinia walked towards her room.

“Yes… Don’t worry. I’ll tell him.”

May stared at Cersinia’s back and soon headed toward the front door. When the voice of the desperate man was heard again, May took a brief deep breath. She felt a little nervous because she was not used to refusing. May’s hand trembled slightly as she grabbed the doorknob.

“Cersinia?”

When the door opened with a squeaky sound, the face of the man was seen. His eyes were anxious, perhaps thinking it was Cersinia who opened the door. But the moment he realized that she wasn’t the person he wanted, his expression hardened. May scratched her cheek in embarrassment. She felt like a sinner at that moment because she wasn’t Cersinia.

“Uh… I think it would be better for you to go back for today.”

Ben expected to see Cersinia through the gap in the open door, but he couldn’t see a single strand of her hair. It was a clear refusal. His heart was throbbing and felt bitter.

“…How long have you been together?”

“Me and Cersinia?”

“That’s right.”

“I think it’s almost been two years.”

“So that’s it. In the meantime…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence as he was strangled. May stared intently into the man’s face under the darkening sky. The quietly sinking dark purple eyes were stained with guilt. As she looked at him, who looked agonizing, May knew what the question he wanted to ask was.

“Cersinia has been doing well. Thank you for your work today.”

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“She’s okay. So, go back for today. Cersinia wants that.”

It was a confirmation. The feelings that she doesn’t want to meet him. Ben’s lips were closed. The tips of his lips were trembling sadly.

“Then.”

May wanted to stop feeling the sadness and despair that she felt. She didn’t want to know what was on his mind too much because Cersinia became her priority. A force was applied to her hand, which was holding the handle. His face could be seen through the narrowing gap in the door. His pale face, which had lost its vitality, was pitiful. Seeing him made May, who was always on Cersinia’s side, want to stand by his side at this moment. The door closed with a bang when his head fell helplessly.