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Chapter 78 – New Year
New year.
I slept until noon, ignoring the Japanese’s tradition (?) of worshiping the hatsuhinode. The sun had already turned into the usual bright sun by the time I woke up. Happy new year, Sun-kun, please don’t explode while I’m still alive. (T/N: Hatsuhinode is the first sunrise of the new year. There’s a tradition in Japan where people gather together to look at it.)
For me, this year was the last year of high school, the year when I had to focus on my entrance exam.
To get into the mood, I decided to go to Hatsumode. I lied, actually, Ugin forced me to go with her.
There was no way that me, the one who was on the lower end of the Sakaki family’s power structure, could win against Ugin, the Queen of the family. It was like an ant trying to challenge an elephant. If I resisted her, she would turn me into her plaything and I would be reduced to a husk that could only produce CO2. Well, at least I would be less harmful than AC, I wouldn’t produce Freon gas just by existing.
Currently, I was inside the train while looking at the other passengers around me. Everyone was in the mood for the new year. I saw women dressing in kimonos everywhere. One of the best things about this country was that people wouldn’t look at you strangely if they saw you wearing traditional clothes like this.
“What are you looking at, Bro?”
“The Cassiopeia Constellation.”
“In the subway??”
Looking at those women shouldn’t be considered s*xual harassment, right? I should Google it later.
We went off the train and almost got lost in the middle of the crowd. Luckily, Ugin grabbed my hand and pulled me over to her side. But she pulled me without even trying to be considerate to me, I almost fell over on the sidewalk multiple times.
I glanced around to look at the women again. I didn’t know why, but they remind me of spring rolls. At that moment, Tsuru texted me.
[Here’s me and Arina–☆]
There was a picture attached to that text, a selfie of Arina and Tsuru in kimono. They looked so beautiful, like the best piece of art that this land called Japan could ever produce. Looking at them made my heart beat faster than normal. If they were to compete in Miss Universe or something similar, I wouldn’t hesitate to throw all my money at them. I had to squint my eyes to look at their radiance.
I immediately saved the picture.
Ugin looked at me suspiciously when I put my phone back in my pocket. Why was she like this? A pure and innocent soul like me couldn’t possibly do something suspicious. Hell, even stepping on grass hurt my conscience.
But Ugin didn’t care about it. She smiled at me and that smile grew wider by the seconds.
“What did you save on your phone?”
“How could you tell that I was saving something? Did the mutation on your body accelerate? Or maybe the middle schoolers nowadays could know what everyone is doing on their phones by reading their finger movements? What the hell is wrong with this country?”
“What are you even rambling about, dear failure of a human being?”
“Okay, that actually hurts. You’re starting to resemble a certain girl, I’m worried about your future.”
“Forget about that, what did you save?”
“…I don’t think it’s appropriate to show this picture out in the open like this.”
That wasn’t an excuse.
If I were to show the picture to her, I would be breaching Arina’s and Tsuru’s privacy and only antisocials would do that.
“What are you saying, I’m your little sister! Are you implying that I’ll do something inappropriate with it?”
“Sorry, little sister, I wasn’t trying to imply anything.”
“Doubt, I know what’s going on inside your mind, Bro. Anyway, c’mon, show me~”
Why are you treating your brother like this, dear sister? I have always been proud of you, yet you’re treating me like this. I remembered back when you were in your second grade of elementary school, you told me that you would marry me and only an oil king would be comparable to me. I was touched by that, you know?
Sadly, my cute little sister was gone, replaced by this cheeky girl. I was deeply saddened by this fact. I wish I could be Anpanman so I could heal this emotional damage by replacing my head. (T/N: Anpanman is a really old anime, not the BTS song. It’s about a dude that has anpan as his head. He could replace his head with a new one every time it gets damaged.)
“I’m going to drink your tomato juice.”
“Okay, here you go.”
Jeez.
My sister had learned how to blackmail someone. I hoped that she wouldn’t rob a bank in the future.
I showed her the selfie Tsuru sent me. I had no choice, Ugin coerced me into this. I hope that Arina and Tsuru will forgive me for doing this.
“Eh?! Is that Arina-san?! Oh my god, she’s so cute! Kya!!”
After seeing the picture, she immediately entered her simp mode. I felt bad for the other people, so I decided to treat her like a stranger. This pure and innocent Sakaki Sui had nothing to do with this girl, please move on, strangers.
“What about the other girl?! Who is she?!”
“I can’t disclose her information, that’s a breach of privacy. You should formally ask her lawyer first–”
“Who. Is. She?”
“Her name is Niwatari Tsuru…”
“Kyuut!! What the hell, why are there so many cute girls at your school?!”
The picture seemed to stimulate her to the point that she started making up words. No good, the picture was a bad influence for her. I took my phone away. I should seal it away until she was at least eighteen.
“Eh~ I want to look at them a bit longer! I want to look at cute girls too, you know?”
“No, you’re too young for this! Also, you’re cute enough, just look at yourself.”
“You know, if you could act this smooth to girls your age, you would probably be popular, Bro.”
“I don’t need to be smooth to be popular, I just need to be rich.”
“That’s true, but, is that something that a high school student like you should say?”
I mean, it sounded cool, so why not? Besides, I wasn’t wrong.
After that, we lined up to offer our money to the shrine.
I saw people throwing their money into the donation box like soldiers throwing grenades into the enemies’ bunker. This made me think that if I were God, I would refuse their money and tell them to save it instead.
Honestly, I hated the act of offering money, though that was probably because I had a twisted view of it. I knew that it wasn’t meaningless though. Sometimes, people just needed something to motivate them to start doing something good in their lives and offering their money like this was one of them.
Me drinking tomato juice every day was my way of motivating myself.
When my turn came, I offered the one yen coin that I didn’t need into the box.
“Uwah…”
Ugin, who offered a five yen coin, let out a strange sound. I ignored her and rang the bell.
[May I become rich in the future, I want to build a personal tomato juice server.]
I prayed to the aluminum in front of me.
*   *   *
After giving our prayers, we went through the torii and entered modern civilization once again. Let’s go! Viva la electricity! Machine POG!
By the way, my omikuji reading said that my luck was normal luck. It said that I should treat girls better to avoid bad relationships with them, but that didn’t matter since I already had bad relationships with multiple girls. Besides, they were the one who started abusing me, why should I treat them better? This omikuji was a scam! (T/N: Omikuji means ‘sacred lot’, it’s a kind of fortune telling they did in Shinto temples. The way it works is that they would place a bunch fortune telling readings on a box or stand for people to draw them. It’s like drawing a lot.)
On the other hand, Ugin’s reading said that she got a big fortune. She had been jumping up and down in delight. Suddenly, she stopped. It seemed like she had something in her mind.
“Did you really throw a one yen coin just now?…”
“Yeah, I got some one yen coin inside my pocket, so might as well.”
“Of course you’ll say that… As your sister, I’m sad to see you grow up like this, Bro…”
“And I’m sad to see you sad, dear sister…”
“Then again, if by throwing coins like that your wish could come true, what’s the point of working? Honestly, I didn’t bring you here so you could make a wish for the new year, Bro. I just want you to find some motivation somehow…”
“Your sudden serious act makes your brother feel bewildered, dear sister. I don’t know how to react to that…”
“That was a lie, I brought you here because mom forced me to.”
“So everything was a lie…”
So her sincere look was a lie. I was deeply disappointed by this. I didn’t remember raising my little sister to be a liar like this.
“You didn’t raise me.”
“Stop reading my mind.”
We were about to go home, but it felt a shame to go back home like this. As I was thinking about where to go next, my phone vibrated ominously.
“Is that your phone?”
“No, it’s the sound of the earth breathing.”
“Bro, you should treat your friends better. They’re still trying to contact you even though they know that you have a few screws loose.”
“Fine, fine.”
The one who called me was Tsuru.
“Hello, this is Sierra Leone’s Japanese Embassy.”
{Hello, Sui~ Tsuru’s here~ Happy new year~}
She completely ignored my joke. Even Arina would respond to my joke but this gyaru just completely ignored it. She completely ignored the thing that defined me as a person, so cruel…
“Happy new year. Thanks for the selfie, I’m going to keep it as a family heirloom.”
{Haha~ Arina refused me when I asked her to take that selfie! So, I just clung to her and took it without waiting her answer~}
I could hear Arina’s voice telling Tsuru to stop. It seemed like they were still together.
Despite seeing me in the middle of a private conversation with my dear friends, Ugin was tiptoeing beside me, trying to eavesdrop. I tried to shake her off by turning my head in the opposite direction but she grabbed me by my chin and pulled it down. I was forced to walk in a strange pose, like the ape dude on Darwin’s evolution theory.
The other people looked at both of us with curious gazes. I wanted to go home…
{Hey, who do you think is prettier, me or Arina?}
“That’s not an appropriate question to ask a gentleman like me.”
{Of course the answer is Arina for you, no?~}
“Akakusa-sensei is the prettiest.”
{So it is Arina! She likes Akakusa-sensei, after all~}
I heard an auditory hallucination that sounded really unpleasant.
My brain judged that someone, somewhere, insulted Akakusa-sensei. Instantly, my brained conjured more than seven hundred methods of assassinations. But the rational side of my brain stopped it, my instincts screamed at me of the danger that would happen if I were to execute one of those assassination methods. In the end, I forgave Arina for insulting Akakusa-sensei. I generously let her off from her death sentence.
“Anyway, what’s up?”
{Ah, right, where are you right now?}
“In front of the station.”
{Huh? We’re here too.}
“Is that so? Time to go, Ugin.”
{Wait, wait! Don’t you want to look at Arina? Come here! She’s here! In the flesh! I can’t believe you…}
“Why would I do that—”
I really wanted to see her…
But at the same time I didn’t want Ugin to see them. They were bad influences on her, I didn’t want Ugin to grow up like them.
{This is a one in a lifetime chance, you know?}
“I… I won’t go…”
{Too bad~ It seems like you’re hated, Arina~}
{Is that so? Well, the feeling’s mutual.}
{He’s so cruel~ He’s probably cheating on you~ What a jerk, playing with a maiden’s heart like that~}
{He deserves death. I should melt his body in concentrated sulfuric acid…}
The conversation between those two started to turn into a horrifying psycho horror movie, so I mustered up my courage to stop it.
“I-I want to see her… I’m begging you, let me see her…”
{You should just say so at the start! Why did you even try to be a tsundere? Anyway, meet us near the bookstore.}
I was frustrated by this outcome, so I decided to take revenge. I’ll make them blush when I meet them and I’ll take their pictures as blackmail materials, especially Arina’s. If I could manage to do that, then I was pretty much a winner in this lifetime. My body shook in excitement. This plan was perfect!
“I kinda want to punch you, fake tsundere.”
“I’m not a tsundere, dear sister. This big brother of yours is a very serious and gentle person, don’t you know?”
“Look in the mirror! Your face looks like a criminal!”
For some reason, Ugin stayed with me. What was this? Did she want to come with me? I’ll be surrounded by three girls?
“You aren’t going home?”
“I don’t want to go home alone, it’s scary~”
“Fine. Come with me, then.”
“Hehe, you’re so easy to deal with. So, you’re going to meet up with Arina-san and Tsuru-san, right? Can I really go with you?~”
She begged me.
With my status, I couldn’t simply reject the Queen’s request, the only option here was to give her the okay.
I should try to be a member of the UN Security Council.
That would surely give me enough status to reject her.