Yudai-senpai asked me whether there was a quiet and secluded place where we could talk, so I brought them to the old staff room, the Rose Garden. No one ever stopped by there, even the floor was deserted, so it fit his criteria. I repeat, I suggested it because it fit his criteria, not because I didnât know a better place.
This made me think though, wasnât he a third-year? Shouldnât he know more about this school than me? Though, I didnât say those questions out loud, I didnât want to complicate things any more than this and just wanted to end this farce quickly.
âThe door isnât locked?â
âItâs probably broken.â
Akakusa-sensei just stopped caring about this place. I should probably threaten to break into her place so that she gained some awareness about how important it was to keep a door properly locked. I had to find her address first, though.
We entered the room and took our seats, Yudai-senpai sat on his own while I sat in front of him with Kazawaguchi-senpai by my side. Kazawaguchi-senpai stared at Yudai-senpai with her half-asleep look, making him look away shyly everytime their eyes met. In the end, he gave up trying to look at her and focused his gaze on me instead. End my suffering alreadyâŠ
âYudai, do you know why I decided to go out with Sui-kun?â
ââŠBecause you like him?â
âNope. To make you give up.â
âThen, thereâs nothing going on between you two?!â
âYeah, senpai, thereâs nothing going on between us. Iâm only helping her out and have zero interest in her whatsoever.â
âSui-kun, thatâs mean. Are you implying that Iâm not attractive enough?â
âYou are attractive, senpai. If youâre an art piece, youâre pretty enough to be put in the British Museum.â
âThank you.â
Seeing our exchange, Yudai-senpaiâs face soured. I guess my attempt to reassure him backfired, huh?
âI thought if I were to date someone else, you would give up on me, Yudai.â
ââŠDo you think that would be enough to make me give up on you?â
âNo, but at least it will restrain you somewhat. After all, if rumors were to spread that youâre trying to take me away from my boyfriend, it will affect you in one way or another.â
âThat wonât be enough to make me give up on you!â
I want to go homeâŠ
Dear sister, I miss you⊠I want to watch TV with you againâŠ
âSeriously, canât you just give up? I even went this far to make you give up. It should be clear to you that I donât want to go out with you. Ever.â
âWhy do you keep rejecting me?âŠâ
âBecause youâre Yudai.â
âThatâs not a real reason.â
âIt is.â
âItâs not!â
I want to go home!!
The outside world was scary. No one told me that those random drama scenes that mom and Ugin loved so much were actually real. Being involved in this didnât feel good at all, though Ugin might love it.
Seriously, I felt so uncomfortable. At a first glance, they might seem like they were on bad terms, but from the way they talked to each other, they sounded really close. I mean they were on a first name basis already, that meant they were close enough to do that and they seemed to know each other well to banter like this. At least, from my point of view, they seemed close. Anyway, I hope that this dumb shuraba will be over soon.
âOkay, fine. Then, can you at least stop confessing to me every month? Itâs annoying.â
âThat just shows how much I like you, Kozue.â
âI donât care. Weâre going to graduate soon, stop messing around like an idiot.â
âItâs because weâre going to graduate soon that Iâm doing this!â
âBoth of you should calm down a littleâŠâ
âItâll be over soon Sui-kun, donât mind us.â
âDonât interrupt us.â
Yeah, I should just go home after all. What was the use of me being here anyway? As a humanoid mascot? CO2?
âIâm going to tell the teacher about this⊠Also your parents tooâŠâ
âDo it then, I donât care.â
ââŠYouâre seriously pissing me offâŠâ
âIf you hate me so much then, why did you accept my feelings back then?!â
Huh? Accept whose feelings? When? Were those two dating before this? What?
âI was just following the mood at that time.â
âThatâs a lie. You looked so happy back then.â
âIt isnât a lie, you just remembered it wrong.â
âItâs a lie.â
I didnât understand what was going on. Seriously, what?
ââŠI liked you okay?! Back then, I liked you!! It was hard on me back then too! I had to hold my feelings back⊠It was painfulâŠâ
Suddenly, Kazawaguchi-senpai started crying. Tears started dropping to her knees and her soft sobs echoed through the room. She was unable to continue the conversation. Meanwhile Yudai-senpai turned over while hiding his eyes, I could hear him swearing in a low voice.
Both of them looked really sad and there was me, staring at them with my mouth open.
What the hell was going on? This turned messy really quickly.
Am I the only normal human being left on this planet?
* Â * Â *
After they calmed down, I took Kazawaguchi-senpai outside with me. I needed an explanation after all, or else, I wouldnât be able to help them.
âWhat happened with the two of you?â
ââŠSniffâŠâ
âYes, yes, wipe your tears first.â
âIdiotâŠâ
âDonât take it out on me, explain to me properly. You two were dating?â
ââŠMhm, back in middle schoolâŠâ
âSo you both came from the same middle school⊠How long did it last?â
âFor years⊠I loved him so much back then⊠I think⊠SniffâŠâ
ââI thinkâ?â
ââŠAlong the way, I found another person that I really lovedâŠâ
Ah⊠That was rough, Yudai-senpaiâŠ
âI fell in love with that person when I was in the third grade, we were in the same class after all, there were a lot of chances for us to talk to each other. I kept telling myself that I had Yudai already, that having feelings for another person was wrong⊠But I couldnât help myself⊠Bottling up those feelings felt bitter and nauseatingâŠâ
That didnât count as cheating, right?âŠ
Well, since they were still in middle school, one could still see it as cute or even romantic somehow but if they were adults in the same situation, things would get messy really quickly. I could see at least one of them getting stabbed.
âI kept telling myself that I loved Yudai more than him but everytime I did that, I ended up hating myself more and more⊠And since Yudai failed to realize how I felt back then⊠I ended up hating himâŠâ
âI seeâŠâ
This was too much of a mess for me to solve. Well, Iâll just act like a good listener for now.
âIn the end, I hit my limit. I told Yudai that we should break up without giving him any reason whatsoever⊠And since then, he kept asking me to get back togetherâŠâ
âI see⊠The person you fell in love with, what happened to him?â
âHe went to a different school. I entered this school without much thought⊠I didnât know that I would find Yudai again here⊠Anyway, in the end, I couldnât bring myself to tell my feelings to that person, but I still love him so much⊠I still dreamt of him occasionally⊠Sometimes, I even went to the street randomly to look for himâŠâ
A maiden-in-love, that was what people would call her, I guess. I didnât know for sure though, since I couldnât relate to her sentiment. Anyway, I felt sorry for Yudai-senpai, but at the same time, I couldnât really blame Kazawaguchi-senpai.
It couldnât be helped that she fell in love with someone, there was nothing she could do about it. To explain âloveâ in a single word, it was âunreasonableâ. Like Ugin said, âYou couldnât explain love theoretically, if you could, then itâs nothing but a conspiracy!â or something along that line. She was probably quoting a random TV drama, but what she said was pretty much on point, so I agreed with her words.
When it came to love, it was pretty much impossible to answer simple and common questions like âWhy do you like X?â One could throw out words like âX is cuteâ or âX is kindâ but those words couldnât express their feelings properly. This wasnât a bad thing or anything, it just showed that words werenât versatile enough to explain about love.
Anyone could blame Kazawaguchi-senpai for her feelings, but I think they should try to put themselves in her shoes first. Were they sure that they wouldnât fall into the same pit as her?
If I were in her shoes, I probably would.
âYou have to tell Yudai-senpai everything. He deserves to know this⊠Tell him everything that youâve hid from him⊠Put an end to this whole affairâŠâ
And letâs go home afterwards, Iâm thirsty.
ââŠMm⊠Iâll talk to himâŠâ
She went back to the Rose Garden. I didnât follow her as there was nothing I could do to help them out anyway. I should leave everything to them to solve their own problems, they should be able to do it as long as they put in the effort to understand each otherâs feelings.
And so, my role had ended. Time to go back home.
* Â * Â *
âWelcome home.â
âIâm home, dear sister.â
My sister was greeting me while huddling herself in the kotatsu. I put down my bag and immediately let my body fall face first into the floor. I felt like dying.
âWhatâs wrong, Bro?â
âIâm sick of everythingâŠâ
âDonât stay there, youâre blocking the way. Go to the sofa or come here. Mom is going to hit you if you stay there.â
âWhat about you? Will you hit me?â
âNo, but Iâll step on you at least.â
âYouâre terribleâŠâ
I mustered all my strength to get up, walked to the sofa and let my body fall there.
âYou know, Ugin⊠Sometimes you say some wise wordsâŠâ
âHuh? What are you on about?â
âI remembered something you told me a long time ago⊠It was quite inspiringâŠâ
âI donât remember saying anything to you.â
âSome quotes about love.â
âYep! I donât remember anything~â
âI know you got some, tell me one or two, câmon!â
âI donât have any though?â
âCâmon, just say it.â
âFine⊠Only those who fell in love without expectation know the meaning of true love, Friedrich von Schiller.â
âAs expected, Ugin-sensei is so cool!â
She suddenly made a serious face as she said that quote out loud.
She looked cool, but at the same time, I was worried that she would turn like me.
* Â * Â *
Next day. I met Kazawaguchi-senpai near the shoe lockers.
âGood morning.â
âMorning, Sui-kun.â
She looked as sleepy as usual. After greeting me, she let out a yawn, followed by a groan as she stretched her back.
âThanks for yesterday, I talked it out with Yudai.â
âIâm glad to hear that.â
âYou can explain to other people that thereâs nothing going on between us. Just tell them everything, itâs fine. Good luck.â
âIâm used to doing this⊠Anyway, senpai, about Arina⊠How did you find out?âŠâ
âHer double personality?â
âYes.â
âBy eavesdropping, of course~â
ââŠAre you for real?â
âWoah, calm down~ You donât need to glare at me⊠But, yeah, I happened to hear it. I was running away from Yudai and overheard you guys talking inside the old staff room.â
âYou havenât told anyone, right?â
âOf course I havenât, why would I do that? Anyway, about the cureâŠâ
Here it comes. The reason why I cooperated with her was for this moment.
âSuch things donât exist.â
ââŠWhat?â
So she lied to me?
âStop glaring at me, Iâm not done yet. This is mental illness weâre talking about, thereâs no such cure to mental illnesses to begin with, even more so in the case of double personality disorder. Let me ask you a question first, youâre looking for a cure to her illness, but what do you think is a âhealthyâ state for her?â
ââŠWhen her other personality disappear?â
âAre you sure thatâs the right answer? Let me tell you this, the other personality born from this disorder is by no means a fake one. They have emotions and thought processes too, if you try to erase them thoughtlessly like that, they might rebel against you and make everything worse. Besides, you wonât even know if the personality is completely gone or not.â
I understood where she came from.
âTrying to cure her is the wrong way of dealing with this, what you should do is to make her adapt. The cause of dual personality disorder is always similar, unable to fit in with society, identity crisis, messy relationships and unstable psyches. What she needs is someone to lean on to ease her anxiety, someone whoâs able to understand her, someone whoâs able to treat her normally. Trying to make her overcome her trauma wonât help her, that method is too risky and thereâs a huge chance that youâll just make her even more mentally unstable than she already is.â
This was the first time that Iâve seen Kazawaguchi-senpai look this serious.
âDo you understand what I am trying to say?â
ââŠI need to support her?â
âNaturally. Not only do you need to support her, you also need to make her open up to you, make her able to discuss her anxieties and worries with you. You donât need to do anything else, talking sincerely with her will do it. Things like trying to erase her other personality will just make it worse, so donât even try to do it.â
In other words, I almost made a terrible mistake.
I always tried to make her other personality disappear, that was what Arina and the others wanted, but it turned out to be a terrible option. We were lucky that we hadnât made a proper plan to do it, we almost did something irreversible.
I really should make her go to the hospital, doing this on our own was too risky.
âThank you very much, senpai. But, how do you know about all this?â
âOne of my relatives is a psychologist, so I asked them about this. See, I wasnât lying to you. You just need to listen to me properly.â
ââŠSorryâŠâ
âItâs fine. Well, I hope that this could help her. Arina-san is a good girl, so, make sure to help her out properly, okay?â
âOf course. I abandoned my going-home club for her. I wonât do a half-assed job to help her. Anyway, senpai, if you need me again, just ask me, Iâll try my best to help you out.â
âOkay, thanks in advance~â
She poked my chest with her finger as she said that and walked away. I wish that she would be reunited with the person she loves someday. Also, I wish that Yudai-senpai would finally drop his unhealthy obsession toward her.