“Helia, do you know how much my parents are nagging me about a child between us? Did you ever get yourself checked with the doctor?”
In the late night, inside the still room in which the man and the woman were facing each other, the sounds that came out first were neither moans of ecstasy nor sweet nothings whispering words of love, but rather an unpleasant…
Yes, to tell the truth, an uncomfortable conversation.
As Caligo perched on the edge of the bed, his sigh-like voice was not exactly sharp, but it could not be called mild either.
It only sounded tired and fatigued.
“Do we really need to talk about something like this right now?”
Helia wrinkled her forehead slightly as if irritated, as she stopped unbuttoning her shirt.
Caligo Halos, who had already taken his top off and was sitting on the bed, brushed his messy red hair back, looking exasperated by the unresponsive woman.
“Helia,”
He called out the wordless woman’s name, but despite that, Helia said nothing.
“Isn’t our contract still valid? At this rate, we will not be able to see even a strand of hair of the child.”
Normally, he was ever so polite, but at this moment, his voice was tinged with annoyance.
Helia’s fingers froze, stopping the unbuttoning.
Before Caligo could even raise his bowed head again, Helia put on an impassive face and undid the remaining buttons.
“We’ll have one soon. We’re doing it by the calendar, after all.”
“I hope so.”
He concurred with the long-awaited response with a sigh; immediately after, the piece of cloth dropped, revealing Helia’s pale, bare figure.
They remained blasé, despite facing each other’s naked bodies.
The woman was as stiff as an upright log, and the man was looking at her with an apathetic gaze.
As Helia laid down, Caligo clicked his tongue mentally.
‘Even sleeping with a wooden doll would be better than this.’
To be blunt, it was ridiculous that he had to undress himself while waiting for his partner to take her own clothes off and lie down.
But that was the first thing Helia demanded when they were filling out their marriage contract―which wasn’t even funny.
Even though the contract was basically giving away a woman’s entire life, Helia only asked for three things from Caligo.
First, always maintaining formal language.
Second, paying off her house’s remaining small debt she was responsible for.
And last, never supporting her family under any circumstances.
There was another condition hidden in the first one―never touching her without permission.
It was only a marriage under a contract and the law, but still, the conditions could not have been bleaker.
‘I don’t think she was this standoffish back then.’
Although she was still deadpan and straight-laced in the past, she used to occasionally smile and start conversations.
However, now they did not talk even in bed.
An obligatory interaction―that was all that could be said about Helia and Caligo’s actions.
“Please don’t be nervous.” Caligo uttered the words signifying the start of their intercourse, as usual.
Like he was trying to relax her stiff body, he stroked his hand down the back of her torso and grabbed her firmly.
But in reality, no matter how much he moved, she had never been relaxed, and they had never had a pleasurable intercourse.
It was something they were forced to do, despite being so uncomfortable with each other that they couldn’t stand it.
As if biting her lips, turning her head away, and covering her eyes with her arm was some sort of a signal, Caligo started to move mechanically.
It was the start of a short copulation, without any moans or pleasure.
***
Crinkle.
At the soft sound of a paper rustling, Caligo opened his eyes reflexively.
Because he had never slept properly during his time at the western front, where explosives went off, swords clashed, arrows flew through the air, and poison spread, Caligo would occasionally wake at the slightest sounds.
Although he had not participated in a war in a long time, the ensuing aftereffects still tormented him every so often.
Fumbling with his hand, he clutched his aching head and turned his sight upwards, where the moonlight was shining through the clear window.
The sky was still dim and dusky; since winter brought longer nights than usual, it seemed like it would be a while before the day breaks.
Even though a significant amount of money had gone into the heating system, presumably, perhaps because one person was absent, the wintry night’s cold air seeped into the heavy blanket.
The thing was, it was not the first time Caligo had woken at this hour, meaning that to him, this situation did not feel surprising at all.
He had sex with her twice a week, taking into account each other’s schedule.
It was also typical for her to leave afterwards when the sun hadn’t even risen.
‘Did I wake up too early?’
For whatever reason, she was still in the room.
Caligo squinted and watched the alabaster body in front of him move around.
Helia, who was adeptly putting on her undergarments and clothes, possessed a long scar that cut across her pale back.
From the left shoulder blade, traversing through her back, to her hip, the scar looked fairly old.
Nevertheless, it was covered by the white gown before he could take a closer look.
‘She must have gotten hurt when she was young.’
According to the rumors, she had been a rambunctious child who often caused accidents, so presumably, she must have been injured in one of them.
Although Helia had been adopted, the scar was not something one expected a noble lady to have.
Perhaps because of her pride as a lady, Helia did not show her back even when having intercourse with him.
The first time Caligo saw the scar was actually during a night when the faint moonlight shone on his eyes.
Waking from a fruitless reverie, Caligo curled his mouth into a brittle smile and closed his eyes in silence.
Whenever they looked at each other, they never really had good things to say, anyway.
To be brutally honest, like Helia, Caligo felt more comfortable when his spouse was not there when he opened his eyes.
He thought that she would leave the room without hesitation, as she normally did.
However, because Helia was present in the room longer than usual, he opened his eyes reluctantly.
In order to not provoke her, Caligo only shifted his eyes from side to side.
He saw Helia standing tall near the table, still dressed in a gown.
She was reading a letter delivered by an attendant just before their intercourse started.
Clearly, something was different from usual as her eyes motioned slowly, and her visage became progressively rock-solid each time she read a line.
Even during the intercourse, an indignation spread as if an ink permeated into her unfaltering ice mask, and then slowly, but painfully distorted.
Eventually, he pulled himself up as he was unable to remain tacit at her peculiar expression.
“Hilia, what’s the matter?” A slight, hushed tone came out.
Along with an irked expression, he touched his adam’s apple a few times before setting his eyes back on her again.
Undeterred by Caligo’s words, Hilia didn’t even show any indication of turning her gaze.
He didn’t know when would her lifeless eyes ever steered clear of the letter.
‘Are you ignoring me again?’ In fact, if not in front of other people, Hilia often ignored Caligo’s questions.
Fortunately, just before Caligo was about to lean back in bed, her lips parted after a long time.
“Dead, in a carriage accident.”
Her voice was even more dreary than the sand in the desert when she spoke of other people’s deaths.
But for Caligo, it’s not something he could easily overlook. Caligo sprung out at once and took the letter from Hilia’s hand. He was still naked, as if he hadn’t thought of wearing a nearby robe.
“Dead? Who?” Caligo’s voice was rather fierce.
Even while reading the letter which he had snatched from Hilia’s hand, he couldn’t help but ask.
“My family.”
However, after hearing the answer, Caligo was compelled to drop the letter, which he had been reading promptly.
Along with the shifting of the pendulum clock, the letter fluttered from side to side and fell at her feet.
Caligo brushed his mouth in dismay. Her voice was too frigid and dry to be the voice of a person who notified the death of her family, who had been with her all her life.
Yes, she was like a midwinter dry branch. Her expression, voice, emotion, and even her inhuman aspects.
Helia bowed down to pick the letters, and with her expressionless face, she tossed them into the fireplace.
*slide*
The burning paper couldn’t even create a crackling sound and rapidly swiveled into ashes.
“I’m sorry, but I think we need to put off our relationship for a while. I need to take care of the estate first. It’s alright if we extend the contract period to make up for the time I’m not working.”
“You….are you serious right now?”
Caligo, who unintentionally blurted out a harsh word, quickly swept his mouth. His red eyes shone as he questioned her with faint sarcasm.
Staring at him, Helia didn’t flinch at all and soon turned around as quietly as always.
“Then I’ll leave first.”
“Helia!”
Caligo tried to call out to her but all he heard in return was a dull sound of a door closing. Soon the lingering warmth inside the room vanished, replaced by a deadly silence.
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“Ha!”
Caligo roughly swept his hair and clicked his tongue. As he felt a tremendous frustration welled up in his chest, he took out a cigar and bit it in his mouth.
As the smoke filled up his lungs, he felt a little less stuffy. However, when he was reminded of her, he came to be frustrated again.
“Damn it.”
After opening up the window and hovering around the place a few times, Caligo eventually broke his cigar, threw it to the floor, and followed after her.