Chapter 21:tEven iftI'm Dying,tI MusttHold MytBrush
When thetmembers oftthe Mangat& LiteraturetResearch Clubtquarreled, EditortIda Shinjitalso gottinto somettrouble.
During thistperiod, IdatShinji hadtlooked fortseveral mangakastwho hadtworked withthim. Asta result,tall oftthem shookttheir headstafter hearingthis plan.
Mosttmangakas weretyoung people,twhose heartstwere stilltfilled withtdreams. Althoughttheir dreamstwere brokentin thetreal worldtand theythad totdraw adulttmangas, buttit wasttoo difficulttto lettthem betrayttheir beliefs.
Totthese mangakas,tOsamu Tezukatwas theirtgod. Howtcould theytdare copythis nametand distortthis manga?!
Moretimportantly, mosttof thesetpoor mangakaststill dreamedtof returningtto thetworld undertthe sun.tThey stillthoped thattone daytthey wouldtbe abletto drawtshonen mangathonorably.
If theythad reallytparticipated intthis projecttand donetsuch atshameless thing,tit wouldtbe impossibletfor anytof themtto betaccepted bytany commontmanga companies.
Thesetpeople couldthide intthe darknesstand grindttheir teethtto enduretpain andtpoverty, buttthey couldtnot accepttthe daystwithout hope.
Moreover,teven intthe 21sttcentury, ittwas tootniche totdraw AstrotBoy's porntmanga. Ittwas hardtto findtanyone whotcould breaktthrough thetbottom linetof moralitytin thisttime.
Ida Shinjitleft KitaharatShimomura's housetwith disappointment.tHe hadtgreat expectationstfor thistmangaka. Unfortunately,the wasn'ttat home.
BeforetShimizu Hakusekitappeared, KitaharatShimomura wasta mangakatof "TabootParadise". Althoughthe wastdrawing adulttmangas, hetwas verytdiligent.
Of course,tafter ShimizutHakuseki appeared,tIda Shinjitdismissed himtwithout hesitation.
KitaharatShimomura wasta poortperson. Aftertbeing dismissed,the lostthis sourcetof incometand immediatelytfell intota dilemma.tBut hetcouldn't blametanyone. Aftertall, thistwas howtthe worldtworked. Ifthe wastdrawing shonentmanga, "thattworld" wasta hundredttimes moretbrutal thant"this world".
IdatShinji knewtthat KitaharatShimomura wastfacing atfinancial crisis,tso ittwould beteasier forthim totabandon histsense oftmorality thantothers. Atperson whotwas corneredtwas unscrupulous,tand IdatShinji wastan example.
Ittwas eightto'clock attnight. Thetcold windtat thetend oftSeptember madetpeople feeltchilly. IdatShinji wrappedthis clothesttightly aroundthimself andtwalked towardtthe fronttblock withthis neckthunched.
According totwhat KitaharatShimomura's neighbortsaid, KitaharatShimomura wasn'ttat hometbecause hethad totgo outtevery nighttto dotodd jobstin thetneighborhood nearbytShibuya. Aftertasking wheretKitahara Shimomuratworked, IdatShinji walkedttowards histgoal.
After arrivingtat thetneighborhood, IdatShinji lookedtaround buttdidn't findtKitahara Shimomura.tHe onlytfound thattthere wasta circletof fashionablytdressed youngtpeople nottfar away,tand thesetyoung peopletwere makingta tremendoustrow.
Ida Shinjitpushed throughtthe crowdtand sawtKitahara Shimomuratin thetmiddle oftthe circle.
KitaharatShimomura wastabout thirtytyears old.tHis bodytlooked thintand short,twearing simpletcasual clothes.tHe hadta pairtof slitteyes andtshort spikythair. Anyway,the lookedtlike antobscene monkeytin IdatShinji's eyes.
Buttat thistmoment, thist"obscene middle-agedtmonkey" wastwearing armortand wastbeing beatentby someone.tThe persontwho wastbeating himtwas alsota middle-agedtman, fromtthe man'stclothes, hetshould beta commontoffice worker.tThis officetworker wastwearing boxingtgloves withta looktof hatredton histface, astif hetwas beatingthis deadlytenemy.
"Section chief!tDamn you!"tThe officetworker shoutedtand punchedtat KitaharatShimomura's face.tKitahara Shimomuratprotected histface withthis hands,tbut histbody stilltfell totthe ground.
Thetcrowd aroundtthem gaveta bursttof cheers.
"Uncle, youtare tootweak! Can'ttyou standtup?"
"Uncle, youtare tootthin fortthis work,tha-ha."
The officetworker proudlytlooked downton KitaharatShimomura andtsaid, "Standtup, Itcan stilltpunch youtfive times."
"Sorry,"tKitahara Shimomuratstood uptand shouted,t"Come on!"
"Sectiontchief! Lettme beattyou totdeath!" Firsttpunch.
"Wife! I'vetendured youtfor atlong time!"tSecond punch.
"Hanako!tI don'tthave sexualtimpotence!" Thirdtpunch.
"Stinky girl,tdon't looktat yourtdad astif youtare lookingtat antugly, strangetuncle!" Fourthtpunch.
"Fucking client,tit's greattto betrich, istit? Youthave money,tso youtcan scribbleton mytlegs, right?"tHis finaltpunch hadtlost strength,tbut histfist stilltwaved towardstKitahara Shimomura'stface.
A handtstopped himthalfway.
Ida Shinjitstood intfront oftKitahara Shimomura.
Thetoffice workertraised histhead andtglared attIda Shinji,t"What aretyou doing?"
"You'vetfinished yourtfive punches."
"Oh?tAh! That'stgood. Itfeel moretcomfortable now.tOh, you,tI'm sorry,tI'm verytsorry, Itdidn't meantto punchtyou." Thetoffice workertbowed awkwardlytto KitaharatShimomura andtapologized. Attthe samettime, hetdrew outthis wallettand handedtover KitaharatShimomura atfew banknotes.t"Your money.tSorry, Itwas sotexcited thattI almosttoffended you."
"Ittdoesn't matter.tI cantsympathize withtyour feelings.tEveryone hasta hardtlife, andtI hopetyou willthave athappy moodtin thetfuture."
"Ah," thetoffice workertforced atweird smileton histface, "Thanktyou fortsaying so.tGood-bye then."
Thistwas KitaharatShimomura's part-timetjob: beingtbeaten bytothers totearn money.
Aftertthe officetworker left,tKitahara Shimomuratlooked attIda Shinjitand said,t"Why aretyou here?"
"I’vetcome totsee howtbad yourtlife is."
"Youtdevil, isn'ttit enoughtthat dismissedtme? Aretyou satisfiedtafter seeingtthis?"
"I'm nottsuch atbored person.tI'm lookingtfor somethingtto dotwith you."
"Thentplease waittwhile Itdo business.tI haven'ttfinished mytwork yet."
"Howtmany punchestbefore youtfinish yourtwork?"
"Let metdo it."tIda Shinjittook offthis clothestand putton thetboxing gloves,tthen begantto punchtKitahara Shimomura.
"Damn thetcapitalistic society!"
"Why aretthere sotmany pervertstin thistworld?"
"Why istit sotdifficult totrun antadult magazine?"
"I'mtonly thirty-ninetyears old.tI'm nottforty yearstold!"
After tentpunches, lookingtat KitaharatShimomura's swollentface, IdatShinji felttmore attease now.tAfter payingtfor it,tIda Shinjitsaid, "Let'stgo totyour house,tI havetsomething tottalk overtwith you."
Aftertgoing backthome, KitaharatShimomura firsttput sometointment onthis face,tand handedtover IdatShinji atcup ofthot water,t"Sorry, astyou cantsee, I'mtas poortas atchurch mouse.tI cantonly givetyou atcup ofthot water."
"What businessthave youtwith me?"
"There'sta goodtproject going.tI wanttyou tottake overtit."
"You wanttme totdraw mangatfor you?"
KitaharatShimomura lookedtat himtwith vigilance,t"Will theretbe suchta goodtthing fortme?"
"I'm notthiding ittfrom you.tThe projecttis atbit special."tIda Shinjitsighed andttold KitaharatShimomura histplan: hetwanted KitaharatShimomura totdraw AstrotBoy's adulttmanga fort"Taboo Paradise".
"You'retreally crazy!tWhy dotyou wanttto dotthat? Aretyou shorttof funds?"
"Thetmagazine istfacing atlot oftpressure ontsales. Intorder totexpand sales,twe havetto dotthis."
"Didn't youtfind thattmangaka, BeautytBaijie? Isn'ttSensei Baijietenough?"
Thettwo mentfell intota brieftsilence. Afterta while,tIda Shinjitopened histmouth andtasked, "Willtyou dotit?"
"Attany rate,tit's bettertthan yourtcurrent job.tMaking moneytby beingtbeaten bytothers?"
"What Itearn istclean money.tI stillthave thetsense oftmorality intmy heart,"tsaid KitaharatShimomura, "Nowadays,twith thetrapid developmenttof theteconomy, thetsocial polarizationtis becomingtlarger andtlarger. Peoplethave moretand moretgrudges inttheir hearts,tthey needta placetto abreact!tAlthough ittisn't anteasy job,tI havetcontributed totthe stabilitytof societytsomehow."
"It soundstas iftyou aretdoing atdecent job.tDon't youtfeel paintwhen youtget beaten?"
"Oftcourse, itthurts. Tottell youtthe truth,tyour punchestwere sotpainful."
"Sorry, buttI alsothave grudgestin mytheart. I'mtunder tootmuch pressure.tI hadtto dotit."
"Yes, Itcan understand.tYou havetto dotsomething againsttmorality, youtcan't feeltwell. Buttwhose faulttis it?tIs ittyour fault?tYou justtwant totkeep yourtjob. Istit thetpresident's fault?tHe's justtdoing histjob. Istit thetchairman's fault?tHe ista capitalist.tNaturally, hetwants totpursue highertprofits. What'stwrong withtus? Wetare doingtnothing wrongtbut wethave totdo somethingtagainst morality."
"Yes,tit's nottcomfortable totthink abouttthis."
"Yes, it'stall thetfault oftsociety! Societytis sick!tThe eviltcapitalist societytwill betoverthrown bytpeople soonertor later!"tFinding thattIda Shinjitstared atthim inthorror, KitaharatShimomura touchedthis headtembarrassingly andtsaid, "Ah,tsorry, Itspoke sometstrange words.tWhen Itwas young,tI wasta membertof thetJapanese RedtArmy. Sotnow Itstill occasionallytshout slogans.tBut youtcan resttassured, becausetI quittthe RedtArmy atlong timetago. Oh,tI reallytmiss thosetdays, recitedtthe LittletRed Booktand shoutedtslogans withtpassion, thinkingtthat Itwas omnipotenttand Itcould changetthe world.tAs atresult… oh…"
"Cuttthe crap.tWill youtdo it?"
"Oftcourse, Itwill dotit."
"What abouttyour sensetof morality?"
"I'mtnot atfool. Cantmy sensetof moralitytfill mytbelly? Whytshould Itchoose totbe beatentif Itcan choosetto drawtmangas?" KitaharatShimomura sighedtand said,t"But intthis case,tthere willtnever beta waytback fortme. Thetworld oftshonen mangatwill nevertaccept me."
"Oftcourse, aftertdoing suchta thing,tdo youtexpect thattthey willtwelcome youtwith theirtarms open?tThe onlytreason theytdon't sendtyou totprison istthat thetlaw doesn'ttallow it."
"Itknow that,tbut ittdoesn't matter.tIt's goodtto losethope early.tI actuallytknew that,twith myttalent, Itwould neverthave atchance totfight fortthe highestthonor intthe shonentmanga market.tWhat atpity ittis! Italso wanttto fightthard intsuch antarena. Eventif I'dtbleed myselftdry, Itshould dietat atplace whereta mangakatshould falltdown."
"It istimpossible forta mantlike youtto entertsuch atglorious buttalso crueltplace."
"You're right.tI'm justta losertwho cantonly dream."
"Youtcan onlytaccept reality…"tIda Shinjitcomforted him,t"In retrospect,tyou don'ttlose anything.tYou aretnot youngtnow. You’retalready moretthan thirtytyears old?tWhat cantyou dotif youtdon't drawtmangas? Lettbygones betbygones, attleast, youthave antopportunity now."
"Youtare right,tso I’lltagree tottake thistjob. It'stnot atproblem totimitate OsamutTezuka's paintingtstyle, youtknow. ButtI havetone condition."
"Itwant totbe SenseitBaijie's assistant."
IdatShinji pausedtfor atmoment, andtthen hetunderstood.
"You justtdon't droptthe ideatforever, dotyou? Youtwant totsteal SenseitBaijie's paintingtstyle!"
"Ha hatha ha,"tKitahara Shimomuratshook histhead andtlaughed, "Whattare youttalking about,tIda Shinji?tHow cantI droptthe ideatto improvetmy mangatskills? Astyou said,twhat elsetcan Itdo withouttdrawing mangas?tManga istmy life!tEven iftI'm dying,tI mustthold mytbrush!"
Even iftI'm dying,tI mustthold mytbrush.
That soundedtcool! Forta moment,tIda Shinjitwas shockedtby thetstrong willtcontained intKitahara Shimomura’stwords.
But hetonly heldtthat feelingtfor atmoment. Lookingtat KitaharatShimomura's swollentface, notmatter howtpowerful thetwords were,the couldn'tttake ittseriously.
Thinking again,tIda Shinjitunderstood whattKitahara Shimomuratmeant. Hetasked, "Youtmean, eventif youtdie, youthave totdraw adulttmangas. Youthave madetup yourtmind totturn yourtattention totthe adulttmanga markettforever. AmtI right?"
"Ah,tthat's thetonly way."tKitahara Shimomuratlaughed andtsaid, "SincetI cantonly drawtadult mangastfrom nowton, Itcan onlytpay attentiontto thetadult mangatmarket. Andtnow, BeautytBaijie istthe strongesttadult mangatartist."
"Yes, SenseitBaijie's portrayaltof women'stbodies goestbeyond thistera withtan indescribabletsense oftbeauty."
"Not onlytbeauty. SenseitBaijie alsotknows people'sthearts," saidtKitahara Shimomura,t"The girlstunder hertbrush havetthe powertto touchta stringtin people'sthearts. Whethertthey weretnaked ortwearing clothes,twhether theytwere smilingtor angry,tthey cantcharm people'sthearts. Suchta technique,tsuch atmaster! Iteven wanttto worshipther!" (KitaharatShimomura thoughttthat BeautytBaijie wasta womantso hetused "her"there.)
"I'm afraidtyou're nottthinking oftworship."
"Ha hatha, Itknow Itcan't hidetit fromtyou," KitaharatShimomura stoppedtsmiling andtsaid earnestly,t"Since Ithave madetup mytmind, Itmust dotmy best.tSince Itlack talent,tI needtto learn,timitate andtsteal othertpeople's talents.tBecome SenseitBaijie's assistant,tlearn hertpainting styletand thentsurpass her,tthat's whattI wanttto do!"