Chapter 54 \n<h1>I Don’t Want to be an Ojakgyo (54)</h1>\n
I approached Swan, who just happened to be laying on the grass near the pond. It was so that I could thank him for everything that had happened recently.
He had gotten me back to school after the monster subjugation, and had provided me with the highest-grade potions for nothing in return. And throughout all of this, I hadn’t thanked him because of my wariness against him.
And I also had something to ask him with my thanks. I had thought about it time and time again, but I couldn’t help but think that my disappearance and memory loss had something to do with Swan.
Swanhaden had said that we were close, but I couldn’t remember anything at all. The hole in my memory was partly in Swan’s hands, so if I asked him what had happened, maybe he could give me a clue?
I had asked Hestia about the time that I had given her the pen, but she just told me that her memory was foggy and didn’t tell me much. I still felt awkward trying to approach Swan so I hesitated before approaching him, but I mustered the courage to go.
So I tried to start a conversation with Swan, but he suddenly pretended to be asleep.
“You like me, don’t you.”
And just as I expected, Swan immediately stopped pretending and sat up.
His jacket was still covering his face, but Swan didn’t try to take it off. Instead, he pulled the arms of his jacket behind his head and tied the jacket tighter onto his face. Swan checked to see if the jacket was snug on his face before speaking.
“…………”
………Swan tried to speak but couldn’t.
“………….”
Swan kept trying to say something, but his mouth just opened and closed without a sound. Was he so stunned that he couldn’t speak? Seeing his stiffening lips, he did look like he was slightly angry.
Well, I did ask him so he could stop pretending to sleep, so it didn’t matter. I just threw the question at him after listening to the orange hair situation from earlier. Seeing his reaction made me doubt it. It’s okay if you don’t like me, stop being so cold about it. It’s enough for me that you’re not pretending to be asleep.
“I made a joke because you were pretending to sleep. I have something to tell you, that’s why.”“………”
Swan didn’t respond and instead fiddled with his fingers. There were scars here and there on his hands too. I wondered why he had so many scars on his body as I stared at his hands.
“First, I want to say thank you.”“……..?”\nBecause Swan wasn’t looking directly at me, I could say all of the embarrassing things I needed to.
At my sudden thanks, Swan turned to look at me even though his eyes were covered. That was a funny sight. I laughed as I continued.
“Not just that last time when I hurt my ankle, but I didn’t say thank you for getting me to school during the subjugation.”
Honestly, it was unusual for me to shove all of my thanks at once like this. It was normal to say thank you during each situation, but because I was so busy being wary of Swan, I didn’t have to opportunity to be grateful until now.
Swan quietly listened to what I had to say, then put his head down. He fiddled with his fingers before putting them down on the ground. I was wondering if he was going to start pulling out the grass around him, but he stayed still. I could see the tip of his ear peeking through his jacket. It was beginning to turn red.
“……….it’s nothing.”
The words coming out of his mouth were so quiet that it was almost swept away by the wind.
The wind blew, brushing through our hair. When I looked at Swan, his bangs had been swept back by the wind. It was a cute scene, so I raised my hand and fixed his bangs for me. Swan stiffened at my sudden touch, but soon sighed deeply.
He slowly lowered the jacket covering his face. His pretty face soon came into view. The color of the sunset dyed his face red, covering his blush. He continued to stare at me before burying his head in his arms.
“That, Shushu…………”
Swan stayed still for a moment before unexpectedly starting a conversation first. He sat with his knees to his chest, and turned his head away from me. He didn’t speak for a while after saying my name. He quietly watched the wildflowers sway gently with the wind before speaking again.
“I’m not someone suspicious.”“What?”
The words that Swan uttered after setting up such a dramatic mood felt like they came out of nowhere. I tilted my head and looked at Swan, who had turned away from me.
“So don’t be too guarded against me.”
It was quiet but I heard it clearly.
Swan turned his head back to look at me. His face was still half-buried into his arms, so the only thing I could see was his jewel-like eyes. The sunset added an orange hue to the blue in his eyes.
“Because I’m completely weak against you.”
Swan looked embarrassed, but finished his sentence. The wind blew loudly, engulfing us with the noise of leaves rustling against the wind. The wind blew my hair into a mess, and I took the strands blocking my sight and put them behind my ears.\nWhen my line of sight returned, I could see Swan pouting and staring right in front of him.
I became more suspicious of my past after Swan’s statement. I wondered if I had found Swan’s weak points like I did Hylli’s, but I couldn’t remember it at all. I didn’t have any images or videos of Swan either.
Swan seemed to be a lot more relaxed after saying everything earlier. He seemed more comfortable as he spoke again.
“I tried my best while you weren’t here. You have to praise me for that.”
This had to be a story about the past I didn’t know. I could tell that he had my forgotten memories for sure. The Swan I remembered was cold and was annoyed by human contact. I knew his taunting jewel-colored eyes, and the annoyed and exhausted attitude and expression on his face. That was Swanhaden.
It was rude of me to not be able to remember while the other person talked about their memories in excitement, but I couldn’t help but feel stranger about the whole ordeal.
“First, I want to say sorry. You said that we were close, but I honestly don’t have any memories of us being friends.”
This might sound callous to Swan. But if my assumptions were correct, he would understand my current state of surprise.
During my search for all things Blanche in the library, I found something. Apparently, white magic could not only heal physical ailments, but mental ailments as well. If they were able to treat mental ailments, didn’t that also mean that they could alter memories?
Swanhaden quietly listened to me and smiled bitterly.
“……that sounds right.”
As expected, Swan didn’t find it strange that I couldn’t remember anything about him. Swan stared at the pond, and I also watched the pond as I continued to talk to him.
The clear pond reflected the colors of the setting sun, and I watched it as I began to spoke.
“I think you know why.”
Swan just continued to look in front of him. He briefly stretched his left hand and scratched the back of his head. He had a complicated expression on his face, but his ears were still burning red.
“I want to look your way.”“Why are you changing the subject………..”
I tilted my head at Swan’s random response, then realized that Swan wanted to change the subject and let out a sigh.
“You can look then.”“Yeah, it’s that easy. But I’m doomed. I can’t even look at your eyes.”\n“Shushu! Don’t say thaaaat! It’s really scary!”
Hestia grabbed at Shuraina’s short hair from her piggy-back position. Shuraina allowed herself to be hit by Hestia and jokingly threatened her to hit her again.
Shuraina tilted her upper body slightly downwards as she piggy-backed the small and light Hestia. She tilted her face and knees slightly as if she was an old grandma carrying something heavy on her back. Shuraina bounced up and down like a baby cradle to make Hestia more comfortable. Like that, Hestia slowly walked around the room.
Shuraina gently patted Hestia’s butt and began counting numbers. Hestia leaned on the child’s back and quietly began to listen to the girl’s heartbeat. Sleep rushed over her as she listened to the thump of the girl’s heart and the voice counting numbers.
“Oooone, twooooo, threeeeee……”
The night was quiet. The only sound in the room was Shuraina’s voice.
This is the story of when Shuraina was 8, turning 9, that she doesn’t remember.