Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Monkey Steals The Peach, “Let ‘Ge’ Touch It”

Call him ge?

For the selfish reason of pleasing himself, he doesn’t mind how awkward his words were? Was he still sane to remember what his surname is?

If he wanted it, he could’ve given him clothes to wear but he didn’t.

Did he think that he was afraid of his childish schemes? As if he has not yet perceived through his evil plan. Going out naked is not a big deal. Want to see his naked body? Sure! After looking at it, I’ll p.r.i.c.k his eyes with needles, humph!

“Oh, how can you not see through the situation? Do you want to come out naked? Then come out. I don’t care. Isn’t it just calling me ‘ge’? If you call me like that, you won’t lose anything. Be my ‘didi’ (younger brother), and I will love you more than I do now.”

“Cut! I don’t need an older brother. As an only child, my selfish thinking is that I don’t need an older brother. I would rather not call you elder brother because I don’t need you to love me more. Everything you do doesn’t hurt me. Everything you do was actually maltreating me.”

Pan Lei was about to be driven crazy outside. His family’s character was tenacious and it really makes people’s teeth itch. “Tell me what’s wrong. How did I maltreat you? Washing your clothes, preparing your food, making your bed, which of these hurt you? State it clearly.”

Tian Yuan began to rinse his body. “If I tell you the things that are not good, will you change them?”

Pan Lei patted his chest. A real man is adaptable to any situation. It is normal for his family’s wife to ask him to get rid of any of his bad habits. Everything was for the purpose of living with him affectionately and for that purpose, he would change. “Say it and I will change.”

Tian Yuan was humming a song inside while putting on shower gel and started scrubbing his body. His mood was incredibly good.

“Go and have a s.e.x change. Transform yourself into a big girl. If you solve this problem of you being a man, then I will fall in love with you.”

Pan Lei helplessly lowered his head and looked at that thing down there. This was a birth-related mistake. Tian Yuan should ask his mother about it. ‘Why give birth to a son and not a daughter?’ It should not be him who will correct this mistake.

“Isn’t there just more meat below? Will it hinder our love? Because of him, I will have the ability to make love to you. Where am I worse than a woman? What she can give you, I will be able to give it to you too. With me, there is quality and quant.i.ty in your life. I promise that my little brother and the two sacks of meat below will moisten you very well and will absolutely make you unable to part with it.”

“Nonsense! I will go to the military court and sue you! If I did, everyone in your family will lose face!”

Tian Yuan began to rinse all the foam on his body and washed himself clean. Just then, he realized that there are no large bath towels inside. Stroking his chin, he pondered on this dilemma. Don’t tell me, I really must go out naked?

This standoff is really not a good idea. Pan Lei does not give him any clothes if he does not call him ‘ge’. He is completely naked now but there is no big towel in the bathroom so he cannot go out. In this situation where they’re in a deadlock and neither party feels like giving in, isn’t it obvious that he was the one at a disadvantage?

Could it be that Pan Lei thinks he was afraid of him? Was he thinking that this ridiculous idea will drive him to snivel?

Elder brother? What was wrong with him? Just because he has always been the youngest in the family, he suddenly thought that he wants to make himself his elder brother?

Seems like he was just trying to find ways to come inside.

Definitely will not satisfy his immoral thoughts. But what to do? Tian Yuan walked towards the bathroom door. Then he twisted his neck to one side and affixed his ear on the door so he could listen to the sound outside.

On the other side, Pan Lei is still squatting while mumbling his grievances. ‘Smelly boy! If you call me ge, ge will love you dearly, ge will like you more, and ge will pamper you more like I would to my most precious baby.’

Having thought of something, Tian Yuan laughed with a glint of mischievousness. He hid behind the bathroom door, painted the four or five floor tiles on the doorway with soap and made them slippery. Afterwards, he grabbed the towel he used to wipe his feet last night.

“Ah!” Tian Yuan screamed and intentionally dropped the shampoo bottle of his shower gel on the ground, creating a loud noise.

When Pan Lei heard the scream which was followed by something falling on the ground, his nerves immediately stretched.

He fell down? The floor, without a doubt, is slippery. With his delicate physique, could he withstand the fall? If by any chance he was knocked down, what to do?

As soon as these thoughts flooded his mind, Pan Lei struggled to get up on the floor. He was like a wild animal as he started slamming on the door while calling out loudly. “Tian’er, Tian’er, what’s going on?! Did you fall?! Quickly, open the door and let me see what happened!”

Tian Yuan slightly opened the door to reveal a small gap. When Pan Lei saw the door open, he immediately rushed in. There wasn’t enough time to look at what happened inside when Pan Lei slipped under his feet and stood unsteadily before falling directly on the ground.

Tian Yuan then tossed the towel in his hand on Pan Lei’s face, grabbed the underwear in his hand and put it on at the speed of light. With his white briefs now wrapped around his b.u.t.tocks, Tian Yuan raised his face smugly and let out a whistle. Falling into my trap, how does it feel?

This time is a good time to settle this enmity and take his revenge. Tian Yuan stepped on Pan Lei’s chest and crushed it vigorously.

“Humph! Teasing me, teasing me, now let’s see who teases who? Dare to threaten me? Ordering me to call you elder brother so you could please yourself? Say that you won’t make this joke anymore and say you won’t tease me anymore. Say ‘Dr. Tian, forgive me’.” Tian Yuan stood there with his chin raised high, totally not caring about the man under his foot at all.

Currently, he’s only wearing a small piece of cloth. While Pan Lei, even if he fell flat on his back, his clothes remained neat. They were like a pair of arrogant monarchs ruling the land under the heavens, and their prideful appearance showed disdain towards the crowd’s opinion.

Pan Lei pulled off the towel from his face and felt his chest was under pressure. He snorted. “To come up with such underhanded tactics, Tian Yuan’s heart is the most malicious.”

When Tian Yuan heard this, he exerted more force on his foot. Pan Lei cried out in pain. “Dead… dead… step on me more and I will surely die! Lighten up your foot! Quick! Let loose!”

“Don’t speak! Don’t say anything!” Tian Yuan seemed addicted. His white foot pressed harder on Pan Lei’s chest while thinking that he was merely stepping on a c.o.c.kroach.

Pan Lei screamed and his body somewhat trembled.

“Ah, my head hurts! I must have hit my head just now. It hurts! It really hurts!”

Pan Lei twisted his body and curled up, holding his head while his body shook and trembled.

Tian Yuan got scared and quickly recovered his foot. He crouched down, held Pan Lei’s shoulder so he could lean on his body. Tian Yuan’s face was clearly showing his worry.

Still, he blamed him for teasing him too much earlier.

Such a height, he definitely had been hurt when he fell to the floor. His physique is big and bulky. The s.p.a.ce inside the bathroom is very narrow. It is certain that he must have hit himself.

Tian Yuan pulled down Pan Lei’s arm and closely leaned on him. He felt his head to see if there is a lump. “Dizzy? Nauseous? Which part is the most painful?”

Pan Lei was whining in pain. At this, Tian Yuan’s heart constricted due to his own guilt. He thinks that he is not a good person. He knew that the bathroom was narrow but he still acted willfully and continued to make a scene.

Unbeknownst to Tian Yuan, Pan Lei employed a lightning speed to carry on with his naughty ploy. He stretched out his hand like a monkey that came to steal the peach [1] and touched Tian Yuan’s legs moving his hand towards the underwear that’s covering Tian Yuan’s little brother. “Your ge’s little brother is the most painful part of me. Seeing this s.e.xy look, I believe mine is already hard and hurting.”

“Pan Lei, you old rascal! I, I, I am not your wife!” Tian Yuan, a good child from a good family, is now at the end of his patience. He finally cursed out loud.

Listening to Pan Lei’s unrestrained laughter, he could not wait to chop off this old rascal!

Notes:

a) Monkey Steals The Peach (martial arts) – A martial arts technique mastered by Michael Wu where one drops on his knees with one arm up to block, and the other hand thrusts into the opponents crotch, often resulting in the end of the fight.

b) distracting an opponent with one hand and seizing his t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es with the other

c) (coll.) grabbing somebody by the b.a.l.l.s

Generally, the idea is the same but what Pan Lei did was, he actually deceived Tian Yuan by acting hurt so as to swindle his way to touching his baby’s private part.

Translator says:

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