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I began to accept Lucian’s affection, who rushed into me despite my worries. I still thought that this place was not real, but on the other hand, I was begging not to wake up from this dream. Every time I received Lucian’s blatant gaze, it felt like a hole in my chest was being filled.
To me, the love with endless depth was comforting.
I couldn’t throw it away easily. I didn’t think he would let me go easily.
Whenever he craved me, I observed him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, as I believed that if I kept looking at him, I would know what he was thinking like when he was a child. Each time our eyes met, the golden eyes stared at me for a long time without a sound. Tenacious and persistent, wanting to engrave my face in his eyes.
The more he did, the more reassured I became. It was a very strange feeling.
“Is the food not to your liking?”
When Lucian asked, I glanced down at the food.
I guessed I was staring at him so much that I didn’t even know what I was eating. Rolling up the noodles on the tip of the fork, I put it in my mouth. Spaghetti with spicy sauce and seafood was delicious any time I ate it.
“No, it’s delicious.”
“Hmm…”
Lucian put down his fork and knife even though I said it was okay. Just by wiping his lips with a napkin, he looked like a model in a pictorial.
…Did that guy really like me? For real?
Doubts arose every minute. After endlessly doubting him, I seemed to be able to draw conclusions.
In a pessimistic rather than a positive way.
Eventually, he would get tired of me as well…
People were the type to mess around. I could see him beckoning the butler. I was usually busy eating though today I couldn’t concentrate. It was because my mind was getting more complicated as the days went by.
“Did you call me, Duke?”
“I think we should hire a chef who specializes only in spicy food.”
“Hmm, it would be better to hire a separate professional. Even so, the lady often looked for spicy food… I’m sorry. We should have hired a chef sooner.”
“Never mind. I’ll be directly involved in Ray’s matter, so don’t change it.”
Lucian gestured as if she had said everything, and the butler hurried out of the dining room. Meanwhile, I stared blankly at the scene and came up with a belated answer.
“The spaghetti the chef makes now is also delicious.”
“You left more than half of that.”
At his words, I glanced down at my plate when he said that.
Well, I definitely ate slower than usual. No, it was not because of the taste… it was because I had a lot of thoughts.
“There are different kinds of spicy food, so I was also concerned about you eating the same thing every day. This is rather okay. I was thinking of hiring a separate one anyway.”
“Did you?”
The first time I heard the words, I couldn’t help but widen my eyes. No one dislikes eating delicious food. Of course, I also liked to eat what suited my taste. However, there had never been a time when I personally went out and acted strictly. This, too, must be one of my remaining habits.
Fortunately, the food I wanted to eat was spicy food.
My heart raced again, seeing him taking care of every little thing. I was, frankly, more impressed by how he cared for these little things, rather than giving me a lot of jewelry like he had robbed a whole jeweler or showing me five or more dress catalogs.
How many people know about my tastes, habits, and preferences? Even if he was indifferent to family, Lucian never missed out on things.
“You haven’t been eating very well today. Would you like me to bring you some lemon sorbet?”
“…Yes, I’ve had enough.”
I put the fork and knife side by side. While wiping the corners of my mouth with a napkin, I gently raised my eyes.
Then, I met his golden eyes.
A tingling sensation seemed to rise from my toes.
Those beautiful eyes that always looked at me were lovely. Even if it seemed like I was trapped in the gaze that silently looked at me from behind or beside me if I could feel a sense of belonging rather than frustration…
As expected, I must be a broken person.
The maid cleared my plate and set the lemon sorbet down. The sweet and refreshing taste made my mouth feel refreshed. At the same time, he gazed at me as he drank a cup of strong black tea. Even if he didn’t say anything, I felt like we cared for each other’s existence with just our eyes.
“Hehe.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. The more I saw the affection he showed, the more confident I became. If it was Lucian…
If so, I thought I could trust him. If it was a dream, I hoped I wouldn’t wake up.
…I wanted to stay here longer.
‘Luci, I want to be with you.’
The words I wanted to say were churning in my throat. I wanted to open my mouth right away and confess that I loved him. As much as we had a hard time, let’s be happy from now on. When I’m with you, somehow, I thought I could do that.
Placing down the teaspoon I was holding, I thought I wanted to get the words I was thinking out of my mouth.
“You see, Luci.”
His eyes deepened at my call. He also put down the teacup he was holding, apparently feeling something.
“Yes, tell me. Ray.”
“That… ann—”
Even though it was still a difficult word to say, I wanted to be brave. When I first heard him say ‘annulment,’ I panicked and messed up, but now it was different.
…Let’s be courageous. I could talk to him now.
Telling myself that, I took a small deep breath and then looked at him.
Lucian didn’t say anything and just looked at me. His golden eyes sank deeply. His gaze fixed on my lips, and he looked at me, waiting for my words. Eventually, I gathered up all the courage I didn’t have. I also wanted to date him openly.
In the first place, we weren’t even a family, so the fact that we were having a close-relationship didn’t actually make sense.
Let’s be courageous. Have courage.
“I think I can do it. That…”
However, the words didn’t come out. Grasping my skirt’s end, I gathered strength and parted my lips again.
“Th, that. I think we can do that. I want to be with Luci..”
‘I feel the same way.’
…I wanted to say that, but my words slipped as the dining room door suddenly opened.
“Master!”
Oscar opened the door and ran to me. It was always sudden when he entered my room though it was important that this was the dining room. There was Lucian. It was not something the owner of this manor would like to see.
Surprised, I jumped up from my seat, and Lucian got up at the same time… No, he jumped out of the chair. That would be the correct expression.
Bang—!
Lucian grabbed Oscar’s neck with one hand and pressed it against the wall. I was startled and stood up and froze. It was the first time since he confronted the Duke, so I was astonished by Lucian’s rough appearance.
“How dare you!”
Fear swept over his harsh voice.
“Kuhk, ha… Master’s brother still has bad hands.”
“…If you hadn’t been Rachel’s servant, you wouldn’t have been able to talk like this.”
“Haha, if it wasn’t for Master’s request, I wouldn’t have been suffering like this.”
“You…”
Waking up to Lucian’s gloomy voice, I hurriedly approached the two of them and opened my mouth.
“This is the dining room. Luci, please let go of Oscar.”
Hearing my words, the golden eyes and red eyes turned towards me at the same time. The red eyes gleamed with joy as soon as they saw me, and the golden eyes sank darkly. Fortunately, Lucian dropped Oscar.
However, seeing him still staring at Oscar with flashing eyes, I unknowingly pulled Oscar back and hid him behind me.
It was then that my heart felt like it was going to fall.
It was because I had seen the apparent scars pass by Lucian’s eyes. My actions hurt him… To him, whom I loved so dearly.
“Lucy, it’s not…”
I tried to take a step forward to make excuses in a hurry, but I couldn’t because of what Oscar said while holding my hand.
“Oh! Master! There’s a reason I’m here in such a hurry!”
“Wait, Oscar, wait.”
I wanted to tell Lucian that this was a misunderstanding. That I didn’t protect Oscar because I suspected him, I just did it reflexively. I didn’t think of him with that intention.
Still, despite my reluctance, Oscar continued.
“This is not the time for this! I found a boy in the back mountain with the same hair as the Master! He said his name was Samuel de Erland! Master’s original last name is Erland, right?”
“What?”
Hearing the unexpected name, I stopped looking at Lucian. Nonetheless, right now, I couldn’t think of anything. Just hearing the name of a cousin I had never met made my complicated head more complicated.
Samuel de Erland…
Found my father’s younger brother’s son in the mountains of the Duchy.
How the hell did this happen?