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“So your fiancée, Lord Damian, is… Um? Miss? Why are you suddenly grinning?”
“Huh, oh? It’s because… I’m happy. I’m so happy. Hailey.”
The warm southern sunlight streamed in through the carriage window.
Hailey’s babbling made me laugh. Although this scene had occurred several decades ago in my previous life, hearing her talk about this news made me smile.
“Miss, did you know you’ve been acting a little strange lately? You looked absent-minded back at the estate when you first heard about the engagement, but now you look delighted like you own the world. You’re not sick by any chance, are you?”
“No. I feel better than ever. Obviously I should be happy to marry such a great person.”
“Well, you’re only engaged, Miss.”
At my response, Hailey held her chin and purposefully put on an anxious expression.
“Hmm… I guess I shouldn’t have said good things about Lord Damian. Miss, you can’t be this laid-back. You must see the actual person before you make a decision. In the rumors he may sound like a nice person, but he may be completely different in reality! What should I do, my lady is too naïve.”
Hailey’s needless concerns began. Before she had kept pouring out compliments about Damian, but it was probably to reassure my nervous self. She must be worried since I’m too relaxed now.
However, I knew, more than anyone else in the world, that Hailey’s worries were not going to happen.
I had watched him, not Damian, from a distance for decades, so how could I not know of his nature?
My past with him naturally popped up in my mind. However, it wasn’t long before it faded. As I shook my head, it was buried in the sea of memories again.
Of course, there were happy moments, and memories when I fell for him that I would not trade for anything else, but regardless, these were results from a failed life.
Instead of being by his side, I ran away on my own accord and acted selfishly, leading someone else to steal him. Thus after several incidents, when I went back to fill the empty seat next to him, I had to let him go because of my mistakes.
No, things went wrong from the start. So let’s go back and redo it from the beginning.
On the first regression, I shouldn’t have identified him with the Damian that I knew. He was already trying everything to get away from me, and yet I threw a fist at him during our first meeting to break our engagement, throwing away the chance I had been given.
If it hadn’t been for that and my image of him as Damian, I would have been able to connect with him for sure.
Unlike the past, there was no need for me to be lost with my feelings and I did not want to leave his side either. The information I had and my relationship with him and other men were different. My starting line had changed. Failure was not possible unless I ran out on my own as I did before.
Damian, just wait. Since there won’t be any more mistakes.
Now I knew what he was worried about. I didn’t before, so I couldn’t understand why he was trying to distance himself from me, which made me resent him.
I know that I, Elena Edelweiss, was a woman who’s capable of taking care of all his concerns. I slayed the deity and flipped the very law of nature, even if it was due to the deterrent force of fate. But if something went awry, I could get rid of the obstacles.
What I had to do now was to plan ahead what kind of happy life the two of us will live in the future.
“Hailey?”
“Yes? What is it?”
“How many children should we have? One is too little, isn’t it? Hm… At least three? Maybe four will be enough?”
“Oh my. What did I just hear?”
I snickered.
Meanwhile, Hailey appeared tired of her own ladyship. Subsequently, some serious family plans spilled from my mouth as Hailey quietly listened to them.
Hailey was confused by my change and questioned whether her ladyship was the Elena she had always known. It was to the point where she wondered if there was a brainwashing spell on the invitation letter that Count Kraus had sent.
Time passed by as we chatted, and the carriage made its way to Count Kraus’ manor.
***
Did the world look different because I had a different mindset?
At first, the Count’s manor was simply repulsive, but now it almost felt like I was returning to a cordial home after a long time.
In my first life, this was a torture chamber where Damian inflicted all kinds of wounds on me. In my second life, this was where he and his lover lived together, so just looking in the estate’s direction had left me exasperated and distressed.
Isn’t it quite laughable that a place like this feels like home because I have a slightly different mindset?
I slowly walked toward his room, guided by my past. I was not nervous like before. Instead, I was at a peace of mind like I had found a place where I belonged.
Wasn’t there an idiom that said a person’s house smelled like their owner?
It was too big to be called a house and many people dwelled in the manor, nonetheless, I could find traces of him everywhere.
When I followed his fine scent, I was guided to the same place. In front of the door, I realized that my hands had been shaking.
Beyond this door is the “him” that I know. Not Damian.
My body was automatically reacting to his scent and presence after a long time. I quickly covered my grin with both hands and tried to calm my excitement.
Fuuuu… Fuuu…
By taking several deep breaths, I was barely able to calm my racing heart. I patted my composed face here and there until it returned to normal, and looked at Hailey.
“Hailey, how am I now? Nothing’s strange, right?”
“The strangest thing right now is your vigor… Well, you look as beautiful as always!”
“I shouldn’t be just beautiful! I should be the most beautiful in the North, no, in the whole continent!”
Hailey covered her mouth with her hand, almost disgusted by what I had just said.
“Ack, Miss, aren’t you embarrassed…? You are gorgeous, but still, saying that about yourself is…”
These are the words you said to me before!!!
I fixed my hair a bit and signaled to Hailey that I was ready. Hailey nodded and knocked twice to let the people inside know that I had arrived, and carefully opened the door.
Before, I had bolted at him and sent a fist flying to his chin as soon as the door had opened. Soon after, we immediately announced our annulment without holding a conversation.
Then, how would he respond if I entered like the original Elena Edelweiss?
The moment the door opened, jet-black hair like the darkness of the night entered my sight.
He sat on the chair wearing a black-clothed suit that had his family’s emblem engraved on it in gold. Right when the door opened, he had been emitting energy similar to an erupting volcano. At some point, he quelled it, making him appear as an aloof noble.
His pointed pupils, which resembled a dragon’s, fixed on me, and we made eye contact.
The color was always beautiful. When I saw the past Damian, it meant nothing to me. Now, the color felt bright and warm like the sun.
How many minutes had passed since our eyes met? To me, that instant felt like an eternity, yet the wall’s clock showed less than a minute had passed.
He gently smiled at me.
Have I ever seen this expression before? Of course, there were many times. He always gave that look when he was with his lover. He never showed me such a smile except once, when he breathed his last in my arms.
However, right now, his smile was naturally directed towards me. This alone seemed to compensate for all the animosity and anguish I suffered before regressing.
I too let out a soft smile which reached my ears.
“Nice to meet you, Lady Edelweiss. I’m Damian Kraus, eldest son to House Kraus.”
The moment I heard those words coupled with that smile of his, it felt like my heart had stopped beating. My brain had given up on reason. My empty mind, left only with its instincts, kept creating imaginations from my desires. Thankfully, due to me having reached divinity, it prevented my body from acting out.
I couldn’t begin to imagine how he’d look at me if my imaginations were completely exposed.
Although my mind was confuddled with reason and desire, one thing was certain.
It was that I was elated with what he just said even if it was for formality’s sake.
Am I this easy of a woman?