It was during the winter of my third year of middle school.
I think it was around Christmas when my parents divorced. I remember that it was snowy when it happened.
The reason for the divorce was that they had some kind of conflict with each other. It wasnāt an affair or anything, though I havenāt asked them the details.
My parents didnāt get along badly, on the contrary, they got along really well. My dad was a busy man, he left early in the morning and came back late at night. He always treated mom well whenever he came back though, and he always took care of me whenever he had the time to.
That was why even though I had no friends, I never felt lonely. Both my parents were there for me.
My parents always seemed happy and our house was filled with joy.
However, things changed when dad received a promotion and he got even busier than he already was.
There were times when he was so busy that he couldnāt return home. He was young and he got his promotion early, which was why he had to show his sincerity by working even harder than before, that I understood.
āIām going to work hard so the both of you can take it easy.āĀ I remember his words as he patted my head.
Both me and my mom supported his decision. We couldnāt see him often, but we decided to be patient for his sake.
Thinking back, that was probably the first trigger for their divorce.
Stuck between his family and his job. At first, both of them were thinking that they were doing everything for the sake of each other, but because being apart for extended periods, the trust between them gradually disappeared.
Before they knew it, their love for each other turned into something else entirely.
The last memory I had of my family was when both my parents were signing their divorce papers.
* Ā * Ā *
āā¦Well, it isnāt much, but thatās my story. Both mom and I were devastated for a while, but we are doing better now.ā
āā¦And your father?ā
āI havenāt seen him lately, but he still occasionally contacts me. Maybe Iāll see him again on New Yearās Eve.ā
I didnāt know the details about things like money and such, but my mom said that he sent some money to a bank account under my name for my tuition every month.
āAnyway, thatās why I donāt really want to use words like āI love youā or āI will never betray youā like that. Words are cheap. I might love you now, but who knows what the future holds? That feeling might change over time.ā
Iāve seen a living example of that after all.
I know that Iām an indecisive person. Thatās why I canāt comfort her with sweet words like she expected me to.
I mean, if I could, I would have nailed myself a girlfriend or two already, or at least made some friends.
But I couldnāt, thatās why Iām like this.
āThatās why, instead of doing that, Iāll wait. Youāre feeling anxious about being my lover, so I will do my best to treat you well as a friend and erase that anxiety of yours.ā
āI seeā¦ā
āI think thatās my best option hereā¦ā
I pointed to the floor of my house and told her,
āUmi, next week, Iāll be waiting for you here, in this house. Of course, youāre free to do whatever you want, but if you need me, Iāll be here for you.ā
Continuing to do the things that Iāve always done for her.
That was the best answer I could give to her.
āā¦Makiā¦ā
āW-what is it?ā
āYou know, youāre a troublesome man.ā
āWell of course. Iāve been a loner for all my life, thereās a reason for that.ā
āJeez, honestly⦠What the hell are you thinkingā¦ā
After saying that, she let out a chuckle.
Her expression right now was the best Iāve ever seen from her.
At least for now.
āFine, I get it. So the question of whether we should be lovers or not will be put on hold, alright?ā
āSure. Like I said, Iāll wait for you, so take your time.ā
āThank you, sorry for being such a pain in the ass.ā
āItās fine, thatās theĀ AsanagiĀ I know, Iām used to it.ā
āWhy are you suddenly calling me by my family name? Maki, thatās just too much.ā
āI mean, weāre justĀ friendsĀ now, right?ā
āThatās not a reason to suddenly act distant. This is why youāre a loner, you keep distancing yourself from other people.ā
āWho cares? Iām fine as long as youāre here with me,Ā Umi.ā
āT-thatās⦠W-well, Iām happy to hear that, butā¦ā
Her face suddenly turned red.
I wonder what Amami-san would think if she were to see us right now.
Our idiotic couple act.
āAh, jeez! Letās stop talking about this! Who cares if weāre lovers or not? We should just do things at our own pace! Thatās fine with you right, Maki?!ā
āA-ah⦠yeah, sureā¦ā
āThen, itās settled! Thatās what weāll do from now on! Anyway, letās play another round! Turn the game on, Maki! Iām going to win today!ā
āOkay, sureā¦ā
So we decided to go back to our routine, butā¦
āYou know what, Umi?ā
āW-what?ā
āItās hard for me to play if youāre clinging to me like this.ā
āI feel like doing it, got a problem?ā
āā¦Nopeā¦ā
We stayed like that until she had to go home.
I knew that this probably wasnāt the right thing to do and since we liked each other, weāll have to step out of our comfort zone eventually so that we could officially become lovers.
But for now, I think itās fine for us to live our life happily like this for a while longer.