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Chapter 52 – What to Do?
As I had guessed, Asanagi was on the roof.
Originally, the rooftop was locked. But since Asanagi was part of the committee, they entrusted her with the key in case something happened.
“Yo.”
“…Yo.”
I called Asanagi, who was holding onto the fence while staring listlessly at the distance.
“What are you up to? That expression doesn’t suit you, you know?”
“Shut up, you idiot. I told you to leave me alone. Are your ears just decorations?”
“You told Amami-san, not me. Also, a little advice, next time you want to be alone up here, lock the door. Leaving it unlocked like this, it couldn’t be helped that I got the wrong idea and thought that you might need some comforting from me.”
“…I hate you. Dumbass.”
“Yes, yes. Here’s a tissue, wipe your face, you’re a mess right now.”
“…”
Without saying another word, she snatched the tissue from me and blew her nose with it.
Unlike the usual Asanagi, this one was like a crybaby. Actually, maybe this was her real self?
“Asanagi.”
“…Mm…”
“As expected, you’re amazing. I mean it. You’ve been bottling up those feelings deep inside your heart, and you still managed to stay sane.”
Neither I nor Amami-san were aware of this until now.
She had been feeling a sense of distrust toward her friends because they lied to her, feeling frustrated because the friends she cared about stopped talking to her. She had to keep her loneliness in check and on top of that, the reason why this happened was because of her best friend, Amami Yuu, who was better than her in every way.
If she had a slightly weaker mentality, she would probably have broken down at some point.
“You did your best, Asanagi. I’m proud of you.”
“…Yes… I did my very best. Praise me more.”
“Right. Good girl.”
I pat her head. Our position was pretty much reversed from last time.
“Ahh… I said everything to her, didn’t I? Nonsense like I both love her and hate her… But why am I still feeling so shitty? I said all those horrible things to her to make me feel better but it didn’t even work. I’m the worst…”
“Do you hate yourself?”
“Of course. I made her experience everything that I went through, you know? I lied to her, I kept our relationship a secret and kept hanging out with you behind her back… Seriously, why do you guys even bother trying to help someone like me? You guys are nuts.”
On top of that, she didn’t lie once or twice, but multiple times during the course of a few months. You could say what she did to Amami-san was worse than what she previously experienced.
But, it was partially my fault that this happened. I told her to keep everything a secret from everyone in class, including Amami-san. I basically created a perfect situation for her.
Well, it was no use crying over spilt milk.
“Hey, Asanagi.”
“…Mm?”
“What are you going to do from now on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean your relationship with Amami-san, are you going to make up, or are you going to distance yourself?”
Words, once spoken, cannot be taken back.
That was why she had to decide on her future plans. Her future with Amami-san, and while we were at it, our future.
“…I’ll ask you instead, what are you going to do?”
“I’m the one who is asking… Ah, whatever, I’ll answer you…”
“…Go on…”
“I think it’s better for us to distance ourselves.”
“…What?”
“Me and you, we should distance ourselves.”
I’ve been thinking about this ever since Amami-san found out about our relationship.
Both Asanagi and I had a habit of overthinking things. Sure, we could proceed as usual and pretend that this whole mess didn’t happen, but we would be ridden with guilt every time we hung out with each other and because of that, I doubt that our time together would be as enjoyable.
We could add Amami-san to our group, but that wouldn’t help either. We would just be repeating what happened to Asanagi back when she was in middle school. If we were to proceed anyway, those two would surely be overly considerate toward each other and everything would turn awkward.
That was why, the best thing to do would be to reset our relationship. Pretend that me and Asanagi weren’t friends to begin with and make her focus on making up with Amami-san. After everything was done, we could always return to where we were before.
“It’s going to be fine. I’m not saying that we’ll stop being friends, we’re just gonna hang out less for a while.”
“But, Maehara…”
“We’re in the same class, so we can see each other every day. We can still exchange texts like usual. Also, we don’t need to hide behind everyone’s back anymore in school, we could just tell them that we knew each other through the committee–”
“Maehara!”
“…”
Asanagi shook my shoulders. Thanks to that, I came to my senses.
“Maehara, calm down. I’ll listen to you properly, okay? Just calm down for a bit.”
“Ah…”
I said everything was for Asanagi, but in the end I only thought about myself, huh? Seriously, what the hell was I doing, forcing my opinion on her like that while disregarding her feelings?
I lost sight of my original goal, what a joke.
“…Sorry, I got carried away…”
“No, I’m the one who should apologize. I was so busy thinking about myself, I didn’t even consider your feelings. You must be confused, huh? Dealing with this kind of unfamiliar situation?”
Right. This was the first time I’ve ever had a friend and the first time I’ve had to deal with a relationship problem.
I was trying to solve this kind of problem even though I was a loner. Man, I got too cocky.
“Maehara, hold my hands. Take a deep breath.”
“…Mm…”
I did as she told me and took a couple deep breaths.
This also happened earlier this morning, except our positions were now reversed.
“How is it? Have you calmed down yet? Look at my fingers, can you count them?”
“Three… I’m not drunk, you idiot.”
“Haha, you look better now. Do you want me to hold your hand a little longer, just to make sure that you’re alright?”
“…Sure…”
In the end, Asanagi had to comfort me.
After I acted like a total showoff in front of Amami-san, this happened. Seriously, what the heck am I doing?
“Maehara, can I ask you something?”
“…What is it?”
“Tell me honestly. If I stop hanging out with you, will you miss me?”
“…Uhh…”
I decided to answer her honestly. I mean, even if I tried to lie, she will see through it anyway.
“…Of course I will…”
Even though I tried to act tough, that wouldn’t change how I really felt.
I had always thought that being alone suited me better. I thought that dealing with people was a major pain in the ass and nothing good would come of it.
But I was wrong. I just didn’t know how comfortable it felt to be with someone I cared about. I started to long for the warmth of another.
Of course, dealing with people was still a pain, but I enjoyed the time I’ve spent with this girl. With her by my side, I was able to laugh my troubles away.
I said that our friendship wouldn’t be broken even when we were apart. While it was true, I would still feel lonely without her.
“Maehara.”
“What is it?”
“Our relationship… Do you want us to continue it?”
“I do… But at the same time, I want you and Amami-san to make up…”
“Ahaha, you’re so greedy. If you were to tell Yuu the same thing you just told me, she would be mad at you, you know?”
“I-I know it sounds greedy. That’s why I told you we should distance ourselves for the time being.”
“Right. I’ve been lying to Yuu for a long time now. If we don’t settle this matter quickly, we won’t be able to move on.”
Wishing that Amami-san would forgive us for everything that we had done to her while continuing on with our relationship; there was no way that we could do that.
We had to consider Amami-san’s feelings as well.
“Regardless, I understand your feelings. Thank you for being honest with me.”
“You’re welcome… So, have you decided?”
“Mm… Well, I’m not really sure about it, but this should be the best course of action for all three of us.”
She seemed to have made up her mind. Her gloomy face was replaced with one brimming with confidence.
“Alright. Then, let’s go back to Amami-san.”
“Mm.”
We hurried back to Amami-san, who had been waiting for us to return.
We went there, hand in hand until the last second. Amami-san didn’t even notice what we’ve been doing.