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(**Kaito’s POV**)
“Kanzaki-kun is a lucky man.”
While we were moving out of the hospital, Alice-san left to pick flowers and Kuroyanagi-kun said that as if he had been waiting for the right moment.
Am I a lucky person…?
I got confused when Kuroyanagi-kun called me a “lucky guy.”
I never thought of myself as that.
In fact, I’ve been involved in a lot of strange things, so instead, I should be referred to as unlucky.
But when someone suddenly calls me lucky, I can’t help but wonder.
“You look like you don’t know what I mean. But you know, it’s not every day you find a girl who works so hard for you.”
Kuroyanagi-kun holds his juice in his right hand and looks in the direction Alice-san walked.
The gesture was so cool that I thought he was so picturesque for a moment.
Really, I envy guys who are blessed with good looks.
They are cool no matter what they do.
“Yeah, you’re right… I am grateful to Alice-san for that.”
I finally understood what he meant when he said I was a lucky guy, so I nodded my head as affirmation.
I really appreciate Alice-san.
Kuroyanagi-kun might only know about this one time, but it was thanks to Alice-san that I was able to step back into middle school.
I have yet to repay that debt to Alice-san.
And yet, she has done so much for me, including bringing me back to the U.S.
Looking at the cost alone, I am sure she has spent a ridiculous amount of money.
I will pay her back eventually.
“Do you like Alice-san?”
Kuroyanagi-kun asked me, keeping a gentle atmosphere― but with a serious expression.
Do I like Alice-san?
This is not even a question that should be asked.
“Yes, I like her.”
I answered Kuroyanagi-kun’s question immediately without hesitation.
Because Alice-san is a person whom I admired and looked up to as a parent (similar to a father at that time).
Not only that, she has done so much for me.
Naturally, I loved her as much as my family.
However… When Kuroyanagi-kun heard my answer, he had a grim look on his face for some reason.
“I see… this is a serious wound.”
He put his left elbow on his right hand holding the juice and brought his left hand to his mouth and began to ponder.
What in the world is a serious wound that he’s referring to…?
I wait for him to gather his thoughts.
After a few moments, he took out his phone and operated it, then he smiled bitterly and began to speak.
“You’ve been so traumatized by your past that you can’t understand how other people feel because you’ve lived your whole life trying not to get involved with them?”
The words he opened his mouth to speak were about my past and the problems I was having now.
I don’t remember me mentioning that to him when I came to America, so I wonder if Alice-san had told him beforehand?
I don’t think she would easily tell him about my past that I didn’t want him to know… Maybe she told him in order to get Kuroyanagi-kun’s cooperation?
I nodded in agreement with his question, thinking that there was no point in lying here.
“I see… But there is one thing I want to say to Kanzaki-kun.”
“What is it?”
“First of all, it’s normal to not be able to understand other people’s feelings.”
“Eh…?”
“You may think that a person who is good at socializing understands other people’s feelings, but it’s not true. It’s just that they think they understand.”
“You just think you understand…?”
Kuroyanagi-kun nodded in agreement to my question.
“Isn’t it obvious? How can an ordinary person, who has no magic or special ability like in the world of manga and games, understand what other people are thinking in their heads? Can you tell from their facial expressions? How can you be sure that it is not a made-up expression? Are you sure because the person actually said it and you confirmed their feelings with them? Is the person really telling you what he or she really feels? In a world where lying like this is the norm, how can you be sure that you understand another person’s thoughts and feelings?”
Indeed… Kuroyanagi-kun is right.
If you say you can understand someone’s feelings and thoughts from their facial expressions, it means you can’t really read them, even though they may have the acting ability of an actor.
And people rarely speak their true feelings to others because they are afraid of hurting themselves or the other person.
He is right, there is no way to know how they feel.
“Why are you telling me this all of a sudden…?”
“Why, you ask? Because I wanted to give you some advice on what you should do from now on so that you don’t make any mistakes.”
“What am I supposed to do now?”
I asked him, leaning forward as Kuroyanagi-kun offered his advice.
He looked at his phone once and began to speak again with a serious expression on his face.
“It’s easy to put into words― but it may still be difficult for you right now. But unless you do this, you won’t be able to change right now.”
“I don’t care if it’s difficult. If I can change, I want you to tell me how to do it.”
“Well, the way is― you have to interact with a lot of people, and you have to look at them.”
“…Huh?”
When I asked Kuroyanagi-kun what to do, I let out a dumbfounded voice.
No, it was not because he said something ridiculous that I made such a sound.
What he responded with is just common sense. That’s why when I thought he’d say something unexpected, I let out a strange sound because of how normal it is. [TLN: Original line barely made sense so I tried to rephrase the entire thing so that it might be more understandable.]
“A-Ahh… I see.”
Not knowing what reaction to give, I nodded my head for the time being.
Then Kuroyanagi-kun smiled and began to speak.
“Yes, you are puzzled. Yes, what I― no, what I just said is a natural step for you to take if you want to understand other people’s feelings from now on. But I told you earlier that I can never truly understand other people’s feelings, right? With that preface in mind, I want you to think about what this approach means.”
“You’re telling me to interact with lots of people and look at them closely when I can’t understand what others are thinking…?”
“Yes.”
I’ll do as Kuroyanagi-kun suggested and think about it.
You can’t understand them… but you can interact with them and observe them…
If I didn’t have the assumption that I don’t understand, I could answer that it’s to understand the other person’s feelings… What in the world does that mean…?
…It’s no good, I don’t understand.
“Can’t you tell me the answer to that…?”
I know he wanted me to think about it, which meant he wanted me to come up with the answer on my own, but I still wanted to know the answer, so I still asked him anyway.
“No problem, I figured you probably wouldn’t know. Yes, because that answer is what you need to ‘understand other people’s feelings.'”
Kuroyanagi-kun said that with a nice smile on his face, but the moment I heard those words, I just got confused.
Then I looked at Kuroyanagi-kun with a little annoyance.
“Hey Kuroyanagi-kun… are you kidding me?”
I can only assume that he was playing word games with me, so I asked him about it.
But Kuroyanagi-kun just smiles back at me.
“No, I was being serious. It’s true what they say, that it’s impossible for ordinary people to understand other people’s feelings. But we can predict them. People who are good communicators use their experience of interacting with others to anticipate their feelings. That is what is generally referred to as understanding other people’s feelings. So as you gain more experience interacting, you’ll be able to predict other people’s feelings as well as they can.”
“…I get what you’re saying, but at the end of the day, that’s just another play on words, isn’t it? I mean, that’s what understanding really means, isn’t it?”
“Well, that may be true, from the way things are going right now. But what I wanted to say is that you have to let go of the idea that you have about other people now. And accept other people’s favors with open arms and don’t be a self-deprecating jerk. Oh, and by the way, it’s not for everyone, okay? Let’s see… At first you should only do so with people you trust. If you start with just anyone, you might fall for the wrong people.”
Come to think of it, Alice-san once told me something similar.
As I recall, she told me to accept favors carefully…
However―
“…And what do you mean by that…?”
I asked him, unsure of the effect of what he meant when he said that I should once and for all give up my thoughts about other people.
“Oh, that’s easy. When you let a computer make predictions, for example, the fewer wrong data you have, the more accurate it will be, right? I wanted to use that analogy to make it clear that understanding other people’s feelings is really about prediction. And maybe if I hadn’t told you this, you would have been misguided in your attempts to interact with others. And if I hadn’t told you this, you would have tried to interact with others with the wrong idea, and you would not have been able to let go of the idea that you yourself are not liked by others, which is at the root of your mind.”
Kuroyanagi-kun said this with conviction.
How could he be so sure, even though he’s supposed to know so little about me…?
“No, I think if you take favors as they come, you interpret them in your favor and become a self-conscious person, don’t you?”
“Nah, at least you shouldn’t have a problem with that.”
“…What’s your basis for that?”
“Well, there are several reasons for that― but here’s one thing I can tell you. That is because Alice-san approves of you.”
A person that Alice-san approves of, huh…
First of all, is there even another person that she has approved of?
How should I put it, she treats me like a child, so I feel like she doesn’t approve of me at all.
And why is it that she approves of me?
“I said at the beginning, ‘It’s normal not to understand other people’s feelings,’ didn’t I? I don’t know if you noticed that I said ‘normal’ on purpose, but there are exceptions, and Alice-san is one of them. And she’s pretty smart, too. When I first saw her, I thought she was a monster.”
“Well, I can understand why…”
Alice-san really sees through me.
And she sees further than I could ever imagine.
I’m not sure why Kuroyanagi-kun called Alice-san a monster, but I think I can see where he’s coming from.
“There is something about you that she recognizes. And she is the type of person who doesn’t judge people on their abilities alone, but on their personalities, so even if you seem dark, I know that you have a good personality. So I can assure you that the favors she is showing you are not fake.”
Oh, surprisingly, this guy is pretty straightforward…
I was a little shocked when he said I was a dark-rooted guy because of the way I looked.
But I’m honestly happy to be called a good guy after that, so I pick myself back up.
“But first, you need to stop stepping on landmines, okay?”
I was pleased to hear Kuroyanagi-kun’s words in my mind earlier, but then he suddenly said that to me with a wry smile.
“Eh, where did that come from?”
“No, because you stepped on a mine as hard as you could earlier…”
I was clueless at Kuroyanagi-kun’s words.
Wha, did I step on any land mines earlier…?
I don’t remember at all…?
“Haa~… you didn’t notice it after all… When Alice-san was there, you said to Alice-san, ‘I knew Americans had blonde hair,’ didn’t you?”
“Oh yeah, I did say that.”
Because really, Americans are all blondes.
I am used to seeing only dark-haired people, and it was a rarity that most of the people in America have blonde hair, so I said so to Alice-san.
“Then she asked you, ‘Kai likes… blondes?’ didn’t she? And how did you respond?”
“Huh? If I recall correctly, ‘Yeah, I like them,’ is what I said…”
“Did you add anything after that?”
“… Oh yeah, I think I said, ‘But I like dark hairs the best.'”
“…Huh, you still don’t understand what I’m saying here?” [TLN: Ofc he doesn’t, he’s a fooken dense black hole.]
Kuroyanagi-kun, who was exchanging words with me, looked surprised for some reason.
“Eh? Are you trying to say that it was a landmine? Maybe you are saying that because Alice-san is blonde, but we were just talking about hair color preferences, and instead of saying I don’t like blondes, it’s better to say that I like them, right? Where’s the problem there?　…Or rather, Alice-san is taking quite a while…”
It has been quite some time since Alice-san went to pick flowers.
Could it be that there was something wrong?
“No really, you’re kind of awesome in a way… Even though Alice-san was sulking after that… ―I contacted Alice-san and she just said, ‘Just talk to Kanzaki-kun alone for a little bit.’ So I guess she’ll be back as soon as I call her to let her know that we’ve talked things over here.”
I couldn’t understand what he said because he mumbled the first half of the sentence, but I could hear the latter because it was audible.
Ah, so the reason Kuroyanagi-kun was using his phone while we were talking was because he was trying to contact Alice-san.
Such discretion must be a part of Kuroyanagi’s character.
Kuroyanagi-kun then contacted Alice-san, and she immediately appeared in front of us― but for some reason, she had a very impatient expression on her face―.
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Translator’s Afterword: Sorry I haven’t been able to update much this year. I didn’t expect we’re going to have a lot of stuff to be done in College so I apologize for the lack of updates. And I hope you guys are still reading my Translations to this day.
More importantly, Merry Christmas to you all! I sure hope you guys will continue to support me in the future!