Even in the moment when I realized my status once again, Rina didnāt raise her head. Looking straight ahead, I saw her golden hair pouring down like a waterfall.
It seems like she has no intention of raising her head until I speak. Although I cannot see her face and do not know what expression she is making, she must be nervous.
First, I will accept Rinaās apology. If I donāt accept the apology while the imperial princess bows her head, it will become a problem in itself.
And at the moment when I donāt accept the apology, the emotion that has been crawling up inside me will be expressed. I havenāt been able to accurately understand the nature of this emotion until now, but Rinaās apology allowed me to realize it.
Power
As I was reborn into this world, the thing I despised the most was the unjust power structure, yet ironically, the emotion bubbling up in my heart right now is the desire for power.
In my past life, I was just a writer who enjoyed writing, but now I have become someone who can dominate the world. Moreover, the demon princess and the imperial princess are favoring me while adopting a humble attitude.
Who wouldnāt be swayed by this ambition? I can say with certainty that no one can resist the irresistible force of power, even someone who originally disliked it.
Therefore, if I take one more step forward here, I will be swallowed up by power. However, power always leads people to ruin.
āI want something other than powerā¦ā
I said to Rina, who was waiting for my answer with her head down.
āPlease raise your head, Rina.ā
āā¦ ā¦ ā
As I spoke calmly, Rina slowly raised her head to face me, but her expression was very dark, and her once-beautiful features had lost their luster, as if she had gone through all sorts of trials and tribulations.
I didnāt know what to say, so I hesitated for a moment before speaking quietly.
āSince Rina is aware of her own mistakes, thereās nothing to say about that, butā¦ itās a bit too late, isnāt it?ā
āā¦ ā¦ ā
āIf you wanted to apologize, it should have been when you called me and my sister, not now. If you had apologized then, Miss Rina, then I would have felt even a little bit of sincerity in your apology. Otherwise, you should have apologized as soon as volume 10 of Xenonās Biography was released, or at least before the situation blew up. If you apologize now, I cannot see it in a positive light, no matter what.ā
As I spoke slowly and thoughtfully, Rinās expression grew darker and she seemed uneasy, as if she didnāt think I would accept her apology.
I paused for a moment, clasped my hands together, and took some time to think. I needed to organize my thoughts in my head.
After about a minute had passed, I glanced at my reflection in the coffee cup before opening my mouth.
āTo be honest, I never imagined the situation would become so serious. I simply declared a hiatus for my studies. And as you can see from what the authorās note said, I was writing Xenonās Biography just as a hobby, without any purpose or ideology.ā
I had already told this to Marie. Glancing at her, I could see that she was looking at me with a face full of trust.
I almost reached out to her face, but I restrained myself since it would be inappropriate given the situation. Even in this awkward situation, I could feel the gravity of the moment.
āOf course, the fundamental reason for my hiatus was the pressure from Miss Rina and Lord Leort. I really love my family. If my sister had not convinced me at that time, I might have quit writing altogether.ā
āAhhā¦ā
Rinaās response to my sincere story was quite notable. Her already pale face turned blue due to her lack of blood.
Thatās the only fortunate thing about this unfortunate situation. Itās because of my own mistakes and greed that things didnāt turn out worse than they did.
As I watched her lips tremble, I couldnāt help but smile inwardly. Itās not that I donāt understand Rinaās perspective. She was born into a much higher position than most people and has lived that way all her life.
Sheās probably naturally inclined to the concept of being a superior being. She sees herself as the emperorās daughter, someone who can act with much greater freedom than others. So, she thought itās okay to pressure the author of Xenonās Biography.
I was able to live a life disconnected from authority because of my memories from a past life, but Rina doesnāt have that luxury. Given her education from an early age, itās understandable that there are certain limitations she has to deal with.
āUmā¦this is getting a bit long, but Iāll accept your apology for now. The fact that Rina personally apologized means that the situation is serious, and itās not good for me either. Especially given the public opinion, thereās a lot of criticism towards the Minerva Empire, isnāt there?ā
āThatās right. Andā¦ā
āBefore that, thereās something I want to say. Maybe itās a request.ā
Before Rina could finish her sentence, I cut her off abruptly. It might be rude to the point of being incomprehensible, but I still hold the upper hand.
Rina also knows this, so she couldnāt say anything and just kept her mouth shut. I donāt know what sheās thinking, but from her dark expression, sheās probably just bearing with it for now.
āI told Marie this as well, but Iām just writing Xenonās Biography as a hobby. I listen to my fatherās stories and use them as a basis for the stories I want to write. I donāt know if youāre aware, but when a hobby becomes a job, itās really not fun anymore. So pleaseā¦ā
āI hope you donāt interfere as much as before. Like when you called people and pressured them as you pleased.ā
āā¦I apologize again for that part.ā
As Rina spoke with a gloomy voice and lowered her head, I quickly stopped her. There was no need for a princess or someone like her to lower her head twice. It made me uncomfortable too.
āYou donāt have to apologize twice. Once is enough.ā
āā¦Thank you.ā
āJust speak freely. And the suggestion I want to make isā¦ā
As I spoke vaguely and glanced around, Rinaās expression tensed up. Sitting next to her, Marie looked at me with an expectant face, wondering what I was going to say.
I could not help but hesitate whether I should really make this suggestion. In this world, there are classes with firm authority based on them.
Therefore, the suggestion I was going to make might damage Rinaās authority. But my desire whispered softly in my heart.
If taking a step forward was too difficult, why not take only half a step? Or why not take a step and immediately withdraw?
So I suggested to Rina.
āPlease let me speak freely.ā
āā¦What?ā
As Rina made an expression of not understanding, I explained again.
āPlease let me call you Rina when I address you, instead of calling you Miss Rina.ā
Equality, not power.
I may have a slightly peculiar personality, but I find it more comfortable to treat others on an equal footing rather than belittling them. Conversely, I strongly dislike it when someone blatantly uses their power to oppress me.
Unlike Aira, who was part of our group project and used her power to overtly oppress me, causing the situation to suddenly take a turn for the worse.
When the issue arose, she misunderstood the situation and took a submissive stance, acknowledging my superiority.
However, I dislike uncomfortable relationships. I find it much better to have a comfortable relationship with each other, like Marie.
Some people may wonder why I make such suggestions, but in fact, my suggestion itself is quite dangerous. It could damage Rinaās authority and make her feel bad.
Although the situation has now changed, it could become even more dangerous if Rina holds a grudge against me in the future. Thatās why I compromised and made the proposal.
āā¦ ā¦ā
Perhaps it was an unexpected proposal. Rina listened to my suggestion and had a bewildered expression. At the same time, she looked at Marie, who was sitting next to me.
I also naturally turned to Marie, but she had a sulky face. Iām not sure why, but she seemed full of complaints.
Did my suggestion not appeal to her? Still, it was clear that she respected my decision by not complaining.
āā¦ Is that all?ā
After a brief moment of silence, Rina cautiously asked me in a hesitant voice. It seemed like she couldnāt easily accept it.
I answered by nodding my head without saying a word. Oh, of course, I didnāt forget to say one more thing.
āAnd Rina, please donāt use honorifics with me and speak casually. Itās uncomfortable.ā
āUhā¦ okay. Is that the only thing?ā
āYes.ā
āWhy? What do you gain from speaking informally with me?ā
She sure talks a lot. I looked at Rina, who spoke with a tone that seemed to imply she couldnāt understand, with a subtle gaze.
It was a face demanding an answer with a crumbling poker face. So I opened my mouth with a smirk.
āThere are many benefits. It makes me feel at ease.ā
āā¦ ā¦ā
āIāll say it again, but Iām not writing about Xenonās Biography for any specific purpose. Itās just a hobby. So I donāt really want anything, and as long as the readers enjoy it, thatās enough.ā
Did she realize that I was sincere?
āI donāt understand.ā
Rina murmured softly with a disoriented face.
I asked her again as if it didnāt matter.
āSo will you accept it and talk to me informally?ā