Even in the moment when I realized my status once again, Rina didnât raise her head. Looking straight ahead, I saw her golden hair pouring down like a waterfall.
It seems like she has no intention of raising her head until I speak. Although I cannot see her face and do not know what expression she is making, she must be nervous.
First, I will accept Rinaâs apology. If I donât accept the apology while the imperial princess bows her head, it will become a problem in itself.
And at the moment when I donât accept the apology, the emotion that has been crawling up inside me will be expressed. I havenât been able to accurately understand the nature of this emotion until now, but Rinaâs apology allowed me to realize it.
Power
As I was reborn into this world, the thing I despised the most was the unjust power structure, yet ironically, the emotion bubbling up in my heart right now is the desire for power.
In my past life, I was just a writer who enjoyed writing, but now I have become someone who can dominate the world. Moreover, the demon princess and the imperial princess are favoring me while adopting a humble attitude.
Who wouldnât be swayed by this ambition? I can say with certainty that no one can resist the irresistible force of power, even someone who originally disliked it.
Therefore, if I take one more step forward here, I will be swallowed up by power. However, power always leads people to ruin.
âI want something other than powerâŠâ
I said to Rina, who was waiting for my answer with her head down.
âPlease raise your head, Rina.â
â⊠⊠â
As I spoke calmly, Rina slowly raised her head to face me, but her expression was very dark, and her once-beautiful features had lost their luster, as if she had gone through all sorts of trials and tribulations.
I didnât know what to say, so I hesitated for a moment before speaking quietly.
âSince Rina is aware of her own mistakes, thereâs nothing to say about that, but⊠itâs a bit too late, isnât it?â
â⊠⊠â
âIf you wanted to apologize, it should have been when you called me and my sister, not now. If you had apologized then, Miss Rina, then I would have felt even a little bit of sincerity in your apology. Otherwise, you should have apologized as soon as volume 10 of Xenonâs Biography was released, or at least before the situation blew up. If you apologize now, I cannot see it in a positive light, no matter what.â
As I spoke slowly and thoughtfully, Rinâs expression grew darker and she seemed uneasy, as if she didnât think I would accept her apology.
I paused for a moment, clasped my hands together, and took some time to think. I needed to organize my thoughts in my head.
After about a minute had passed, I glanced at my reflection in the coffee cup before opening my mouth.
âTo be honest, I never imagined the situation would become so serious. I simply declared a hiatus for my studies. And as you can see from what the authorâs note said, I was writing Xenonâs Biography just as a hobby, without any purpose or ideology.â
I had already told this to Marie. Glancing at her, I could see that she was looking at me with a face full of trust.
I almost reached out to her face, but I restrained myself since it would be inappropriate given the situation. Even in this awkward situation, I could feel the gravity of the moment.
âOf course, the fundamental reason for my hiatus was the pressure from Miss Rina and Lord Leort. I really love my family. If my sister had not convinced me at that time, I might have quit writing altogether.â
âAhhâŠâ
Rinaâs response to my sincere story was quite notable. Her already pale face turned blue due to her lack of blood.
Thatâs the only fortunate thing about this unfortunate situation. Itâs because of my own mistakes and greed that things didnât turn out worse than they did.
As I watched her lips tremble, I couldnât help but smile inwardly. Itâs not that I donât understand Rinaâs perspective. She was born into a much higher position than most people and has lived that way all her life.
Sheâs probably naturally inclined to the concept of being a superior being. She sees herself as the emperorâs daughter, someone who can act with much greater freedom than others. So, she thought itâs okay to pressure the author of Xenonâs Biography.
I was able to live a life disconnected from authority because of my memories from a past life, but Rina doesnât have that luxury. Given her education from an early age, itâs understandable that there are certain limitations she has to deal with.
âUmâŠthis is getting a bit long, but Iâll accept your apology for now. The fact that Rina personally apologized means that the situation is serious, and itâs not good for me either. Especially given the public opinion, thereâs a lot of criticism towards the Minerva Empire, isnât there?â
âThatâs right. AndâŠâ
âBefore that, thereâs something I want to say. Maybe itâs a request.â
Before Rina could finish her sentence, I cut her off abruptly. It might be rude to the point of being incomprehensible, but I still hold the upper hand.
Rina also knows this, so she couldnât say anything and just kept her mouth shut. I donât know what sheâs thinking, but from her dark expression, sheâs probably just bearing with it for now.
âI told Marie this as well, but Iâm just writing Xenonâs Biography as a hobby. I listen to my fatherâs stories and use them as a basis for the stories I want to write. I donât know if youâre aware, but when a hobby becomes a job, itâs really not fun anymore. So pleaseâŠâ
âI hope you donât interfere as much as before. Like when you called people and pressured them as you pleased.â
ââŠI apologize again for that part.â
As Rina spoke with a gloomy voice and lowered her head, I quickly stopped her. There was no need for a princess or someone like her to lower her head twice. It made me uncomfortable too.
âYou donât have to apologize twice. Once is enough.â
ââŠThank you.â
âJust speak freely. And the suggestion I want to make isâŠâ
As I spoke vaguely and glanced around, Rinaâs expression tensed up. Sitting next to her, Marie looked at me with an expectant face, wondering what I was going to say.
I could not help but hesitate whether I should really make this suggestion. In this world, there are classes with firm authority based on them.
Therefore, the suggestion I was going to make might damage Rinaâs authority. But my desire whispered softly in my heart.
If taking a step forward was too difficult, why not take only half a step? Or why not take a step and immediately withdraw?
So I suggested to Rina.
âPlease let me speak freely.â
ââŠWhat?â
As Rina made an expression of not understanding, I explained again.
âPlease let me call you Rina when I address you, instead of calling you Miss Rina.â
Equality, not power.
I may have a slightly peculiar personality, but I find it more comfortable to treat others on an equal footing rather than belittling them. Conversely, I strongly dislike it when someone blatantly uses their power to oppress me.
Unlike Aira, who was part of our group project and used her power to overtly oppress me, causing the situation to suddenly take a turn for the worse.
When the issue arose, she misunderstood the situation and took a submissive stance, acknowledging my superiority.
However, I dislike uncomfortable relationships. I find it much better to have a comfortable relationship with each other, like Marie.
Some people may wonder why I make such suggestions, but in fact, my suggestion itself is quite dangerous. It could damage Rinaâs authority and make her feel bad.
Although the situation has now changed, it could become even more dangerous if Rina holds a grudge against me in the future. Thatâs why I compromised and made the proposal.
â⊠âŠâ
Perhaps it was an unexpected proposal. Rina listened to my suggestion and had a bewildered expression. At the same time, she looked at Marie, who was sitting next to me.
I also naturally turned to Marie, but she had a sulky face. Iâm not sure why, but she seemed full of complaints.
Did my suggestion not appeal to her? Still, it was clear that she respected my decision by not complaining.
â⊠Is that all?â
After a brief moment of silence, Rina cautiously asked me in a hesitant voice. It seemed like she couldnât easily accept it.
I answered by nodding my head without saying a word. Oh, of course, I didnât forget to say one more thing.
âAnd Rina, please donât use honorifics with me and speak casually. Itâs uncomfortable.â
âUh⊠okay. Is that the only thing?â
âYes.â
âWhy? What do you gain from speaking informally with me?â
She sure talks a lot. I looked at Rina, who spoke with a tone that seemed to imply she couldnât understand, with a subtle gaze.
It was a face demanding an answer with a crumbling poker face. So I opened my mouth with a smirk.
âThere are many benefits. It makes me feel at ease.â
â⊠âŠâ
âIâll say it again, but Iâm not writing about Xenonâs Biography for any specific purpose. Itâs just a hobby. So I donât really want anything, and as long as the readers enjoy it, thatâs enough.â
Did she realize that I was sincere?
âI donât understand.â
Rina murmured softly with a disoriented face.
I asked her again as if it didnât matter.
âSo will you accept it and talk to me informally?â