Chapter 11

Chapter 11

“Ugh!”

Juliana awoke from her nap and looked out the window to see the red glare of the sunset almost faded away. It seemed that she had fallen asleep on a pillow of dusty papers.

“Dinner!”

She recalled that she had asked her husband to spare time for her in the evening. She suggested it earlier but got up late at dinner time because she dozed off.

Juliana slapped herself on the chest as if in reproach, quickly got up and went madly down the stairs.

The servants widened their eyes and whispered, ‘The Duchess is acting very strange today.’ 

Before entering the dining hall, Juliana, who acted as if she was out of her mind, suddenly opened the door without being able to tidy up her clothes.

“Ugh, ugh…”

“You’re late.”

The food was getting cold, and her husband, sitting at the center of the dining table, was as expressionless as ever.

He stared at Juliana with a look that didn’t indicate whether he was upset because she was late, or if he was truly amazed that she had shown up at dinner. 

“I, I’m sorry. I fell asleep for a while.”

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” Evan muttered, looking a little blank.

Before gauging his mood, Juliana fanned herself with her hand, holding her breath, all of which were in a hurry. Then she gulped down the cold water and tried to subdue her embarrassment.

The servants who were standing in line waiting to serve her looked at the Duchess.

Unable to know how her mood would change, the servants, who had been gazing at the married couple with a glaring glance, immediately came to their senses and began serving new food before them.

When the cold food disappeared and freshly cooked warm food began to appear the dining hall quickly filled with delicious smells.

Meanwhile, without even looking at the food, Juliana held her panting breath and drank another glass of water.

Then she looked cautiously at Evan and said, “You’ve been waiting for a long time, haven’t you?”

“It wasn’t that long. About two or three hours…”

You’ve waited so long!

Juliana hesitated. And she glistened her eyes as much as possible and said, “It’s true. I’ve been doing something all afternoon…”  

“I’ve heard. You said you cleaned up your room, didn’t you?”

Evan picked up the knife and cut the meat slowly.

Juliana followed him as grabbed her knife too, and muttered some gibberish.

“Yes, I should have cleaned it up sooner. I mean, it took too long.”

Just before Juliana made up another excuse, Evan brought up the topic first. It was an extension of the conversation they had talked about in the morning.

“What you said this morning, can I take it seriously?”

While Juliana was just chewing on the meat and trying to find something to say, Evan emphasized, “That you had a change of heart.”

Juliana, who couldn’t avoid answering, urgently swallowed the water and said, “Oh, that, that sentence is true. That I’m not going to insult you.”

“So will you be genuine to me, too?”

Evan smiled brightly.

The way this handsome man smiled had a really great effect. Even Juliana, who was determined to survive, felt an effect that made her heart flutter.

But Juliana managed to calm her pounding heart and said, “Although the context is different, it’s true that I’m serious about this situation. Like I cleaned up my gift room to end my messy past life. It’s a means to prove to heaven and earth that I have no intention of bothering you anymore. Yes, I mean it in that sense!”

Evan, who was watching more of Juliana’s gibberish as she brandished the knife with a chunk of meat on it, squinted his eyes slightly and said quietly, “What do you want to say?”

“Um. So…”

Juliana glanced at him.

In the meantime, many thoughts flashed through her mind.

In the near future, someone will cause a poisoning incident, and she will be involved in it, and thus drawn into a political battle and imprisoned for an assassination attempt on the Duke of the Empire. It’s important for her to end the relationship with her many lovers, but first of all, it’s more important to run away and get stuck in a monastery or anywhere else as long as it’s far away from him.

And in order to do so…

“Will you divorce me?”

Juliana couldn’t catch the words that popped out. Then she shuddered. Even the meat stuck in her knife was shaking.

Evan’s gaze at her was unusual.

Indeed, it was unusual.

“What?”

Evan opened his mouth and uttered only one word. And before Juliana could answer, he rose from his seat with a thud.

Juliana realized that Evan’s eyes as he approached her were blazing fiercely as if there was a flame in them. 

He was angry.

Like hell.

Juliana spoke again to patch it up.

“Evan, you don’t like me. Please be honest.”

“What are you talking about?”

Her husband, Evan, smiled as though he was full of energy and said softly, “I love you very much.”

…but why am I in a cold sweat?

Juliana put down the knife and as her appetite was gone, she roughly wiped her mouth with a handkerchief.

“Well, I made a slip of the tongue. I brought it up so abruptly. I didn’t want to talk about it today…”

“Then were you going to talk about it one day?”

From the end of the table, he came in a flash to the side of Juliana’s chair.

His huge and strong body that wasn’t slow seemed tense.

Hidden behind visible courtesy and gentleness, he looked like a sharp predator. Evan, leaning his back against the chair next to her chair and folding his arms, only raised the corners of his mouth and laughed at himself.

“It’s amazing. I doubt anyone will ever hear such a statement from his wife after a tearful return.”

“I, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Juliana widened her eyes to avoid raising the white flag. But contrary to her determination, she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding.

I’m right about the divorce, but I didn’t want to do this at time like this. Ugh. Why am I so impulsive since I remembered my past life?

Eventually, Juliana avoided her husband’s gaze, looking at her with a strange expression on his face.

Now it was a matter of life and death.

“Yes, but it was a question I should have asked you one day. Although I’m sorry to say this out of the blue.”

“Juliana, you’re so shameless.”

Evan leaned over and put his hands on the armrest of the chair.

She looked tired for the first time. Slowly closing her eyes, Juliana felt unfair when she told the truth.

You don’t even know why I’m coming out like this…

Juliana pouted her lips and spoke quickly.

“You know we’re not a normal marriage. Also, I can’t understand why you like me no matter how much I think about it. Have I ever been kind to you during our marriage? Or did I respect you? No, Evan, even the reason I’m using honorifics to you…”

“You said it was because you hated to give me even a slightest bit of friendly feeling.”

“You remember,” Juliana said deliberately coldly. She then bowed her head, enduring the throbbing of her conscience. She felt bloated because of the meat she just chewed and swallowed.

…yeah, maybe this is better. If you hear this bullshit about getting a divorce right after you returned home, you might get angry and actually want to get a divorce.

The silence between them filled the air.

Juliana lifted her glass of water and moistened her dry lips without looking at Evan.

Juliana, who assumed that the longer the silence, the harder it would be to endure, held the armrest strongly.

Various dishes that didn’t even touch their mouths were lit by candlelight. Only a moment of silence passed, and Juliana, who stared at the food, pulled the chair back and was about to stand up.

Unexpectedly, Evan grabbed her wrist.

Juliana was surprised. Unlike usual, his hands seemed so hot as though they were burning.

“…Evan?”

“It’s strange. On the day I returned after killing the barbarians, others call me a hero, but my one and only wife still treats me like a trifle,” he said with a snarl like a wild beast.

“It’s not like that.” 

It’s really not.

Frustrated, Juliana shook her head quickly.

She tried to yank her wrist away from his grip, but Evan’s grip was so strong that she couldn’t even budge.

Eventually, as if Juliana had made a good move when she stopped tugging, Evan relaxed his grip as well. Then he lowered her thin wrist and interlaced his fingers through his wife’s slender fingers. 

Juliana hesitated, unable to avoid his oncoming touch, as if his touch was desperately clinging to her or worshiping her.

At that moment, Evan’s fingers completely covered the back of her hand.

They were holding hands with interlocked fingers.

Her heart was pounding as if it was squeezed between the two hands held together.

“You can look down on me. Even the blood that flows through my veins is a trifle to you. But, why? You can’t ask for a divorce just for that reason, as you’ve done so far.” 

He wanted an answer.

But Juliana couldn’t give him an answer.

Because he was right.

Juliana Auburn wanted to break up with her husband only by words, so even though she kept nagging, she didn’t really think much about divorce. 

To be exact, it was annoying.

The divorce between the nobles was so complicated that they had to be summoned to the strict and unfavorable ecclesiastical court in order to respond to rude confrontations.

If she were the original Juliana Auburn, she wouldn’t want to pay attention to such a hassle.

However, she was different now.

The reason for wanting to cut off her ties with Evan while doing this troublesome thing was very reasonable for her.

To survive.

“I’ll tell my father. Of course, when we get divorced, the people in the family won’t be able to save face, but…” Juliana said awkwardly. Then she turned her head to avoid his bottomless gaze.

Evan pretended to regain his composure in an ostensibly calm manner once again. His wife didn’t know how furious he was.

He still didn’t unlock their fingers as he muttered, lost in thought.

“It’s strange that someone who has never mentioned divorce even once suddenly brought it up.”

“Why? Didn’t you think you’d hear it someday?”

Her heart still throbbed as if it were between their clasped hands, and she soon lost to it.

She covered her pale face with the other hand that wasn’t grasped. Then she slowly spoke to Evan, who hardened his expression.

“I, I’ve said everything I’ve got to say. I’ll listen to you if you have something to say, but I don’t think I can do that now. I’m so tired…”

“Then you should get up.”

He rose to his feet.

At the same time, the chair was knocked over backwards with a thump! Evan strode over the chair, not caring about it. Then he grabbed Juliana by the shoulder.

“I can go alone…” Juliana replied, but he didn’t stop supporting her.

In fact, she was so exhausted and felt as though her feet were tied to the ground that Juliana accepted his support without quarrel. After taking just a few steps, her body dropped to the point of collapsing.

Damn stamina. Damn conscience…

Juliana bit her lips tightly as she thought of her shortcomings, which she didn’t like.

That numb pain awakened her sense of reality. With her body half-leaned on Evan, Juliana climbed the stairs to the second floor and headed towards her room.

Although they were married, they never shared a bedroom, so each of them had a separate room.

While Evan knew the location of Juliana’s room, Juliana didn’t know where his room was. 

This was because she had never approached him first by greeting him or making business. For the first time after things turned out to be like this, Juliana thought it was strange that she didn’t even know the location of his room.

It was the second year of their marriage. It was yesterday that he returned from the battlefield and she wondered what it would be like if she had stopped by his room before.

Or if she wrote him a letter saying that she’s waiting for his return. So wouldn’t their relationship have gone apart from the content of the novel?

“Juliana.”

“…yes?”

Evan said, leading her all the way to her room and then he opened the door.

Juliana, who was distracted by her thoughts as she was moving forward, looked up blankly at him.

His blue eyes were as cold as ice. He has never looked at her like that before. He still seemed angry.

Juliana shook her head. Even if he was angry, she had to do what she had to do.

“Say it,” she said, pretending to be cold. However, thanks to his help, she climbed the stairs to the second floor and entrusted him with leading her to the bedroom.

At that moment, Juliana being as shameless and silly as he said, burst into laughter.

Unexpectedly, Evan smiled at her laugh. He was still very angry, but he couldn’t help but to follow her in laughter as if she was really pathetic.

After a short laugh, Evan spoke as softly as before.

“If you ask me why I came to like you, it’s from that day on. The day you stopped by my family.”

“I don’t remember it particularly because there were so many days like that.”

“Then can I tell you it was the day you fell into the Emerald Lake?”

“If it’s the Emerald Lake…”

Juliana struggled to refresh her memory.

Then, soon she remembered.

Each old noble family in the Empire had an old site like a historical site. The Emerald Lake was a mysterious lake that belonged to the Hilchen family. There was a strange tale associated with that lake. It was said that if you make a light wish without making an urgent wish, you will be punished by the lake.

Because of that tale, the children in the vicinity were afraid of that place. However, when the young and fearless Juliana Auburn heard the rumors, she also visited the lake.

And when she snorted, saying she wasn’t afraid of anything, she suddenly fell into the lake. Naturally, Juliana blamed the nanny for not taking better care of her, and the nanny was fired like many other adults who had taken care of young Juliana Auburn.

So it’s the first day he fell in love with her, a normal day like any other day. It was a silly remark.

“Were you the one who saved me from drowning in the lake? I remember the knight of the Hilchen family saved me.”

“I was hiding my identity as the seed of a family knight. Of course, I saw you floundering.”

“I’m sure I lost my temper back then, but you started to like me anyway? You have quite a unique taste.”

Juliana, who finished her speech with a sigh, leaned against the doorpost.

She thought too much, she learned too much. She didn’t want to know anything more. Not to mention Evan’s first love story.  Even more, if it was her who was his first love.

But Juliana had no choice but to listen to him. She would listen to him for the first time because she promised.

Meanwhile, Evan, looking at Juliana’s pale cheeks, slipped his hand under her cheek, pressed flat against the doorpost. His hard, slightly cooler hand was much softer and more pleasant than the pillar.

Juliana exhaled a weary breath. Evan, who caressed her cheek, whispered affectionately.

“Yes, you’ve changed my taste. The girl who was floundering in the lake changed her expression, so she looked cute when she stood up and got angry at me.”

Evan continued with his subdued eyes as if he were recalling the day.

“But I found out soon enough that you were my hateful brother’s fiancée and the only daughter of the Marquis of Auburn. It was because of you that I made a promise to myself that, ‘If I can’t have it, I’ll just hide it as if I had never wanted it in the first place.’ It was also because of you that I wanted to die. That’s why I fell in love with a shameless woman.” 

“…”

Evan smiled as he looked at Juliana’s flickering eyes that eventually closed.

“And I still like a shameless woman.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he opened the door wide open.

Afterwards, Juliana entered her bedroom and was enthralled by the warmly welcoming room.

Soon after she came to her senses, she looked back and noticed that there was no sign of Evan, who was already walking down the stairs.

Juliana went out of the room and looked down at him as he went down the stairs.

Juliana, who had been staring at him until he was completely gone, turned around and ran into her room.

What the hell…

Her whole mind was restless.

She buried herself in the blanket and tried to clear up her feelings.

Then, the answer came out.

He’s still angry that she couldn’t answer his question properly.

Nevertheless, she had no choice but to wait for the next occasion. It was because of her poor physical strength that she was unable to keep up with the argument.

Juliana buried herself further under the blanket and vowed to somehow refute his words and make plans for a divorce.

The heroine who is meant to fall in love with the male lead and whom he is meant to truly love will soon appear.

Of course, Juliana Auburn knew well that she wasn’t the heroine of this story.

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Translator –